In one fell swoop, the Guanzhou Rubber Group in Southern China put itself on the map by marketing Clinton and Lewinsky condoms. A company spokesman said: “The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs.” Would that be dedicated to their blow jobs? The release of the condoms comes among swirling rumors that if Monica were a drag queen, people would think she looked too masculine.

The Chinese, of course, are reminding us of our own glorious history. What makes a president impeachable? Not starting an unnecessary war. Not rampant cronyism. Not proposing a constitutional amendment to trample the rights of gays. No sireee! What makes a president impeachable is a juicy mamada with a juicy mamita intern.

Those of you who want to go as Bill and Monica on Halloween need not despair. Slickwillycondoms.com claims to have a supply of Clinton and Lewinsky rubbers on hand. According to Guanzhou, the Clinton model is top of the line and Lewinsky is a lesser order of thing. Talk about prophylactics imitating life!