Coming Out Just Got A Little Easier, Cheaper
Coming Out sure can be expensive. Not only for the young gay girls and boys, but for their parents. Luckily, we live in a day and age when there’s insurance for everything – including coming out.
How will you mommy and daddy afford those gymnastics classes? Coming Out Insurance. How will they cope with the queer’s yen for theater? Coming Out Insurance. You name a nancy’s money draining habit and rest assured Coming Out Insurance will carry the cost. Coming Out Insurance. You need it. Not convinced? Let gay comedian Ant persuade you…
And now for the reality version:
Coming Out Insurance Covers:
Private security to escort your gay child to and from school; private tutoring gay kids who get harrassed out of school.
A video surveillance system for your home to catch the kids spray painting “faggot” on your garage door.
A can of mace & Self Defense Classes, Kick those legs high boy!
HPV vaccine shots.
Private transportation to the local gay youth group meetings (which is probably MILES away for most kids).
Psychotherapy for the parents (the kid will be fine).
And finally, for those who just can’t handle a gay kid, Coming Out Insurance offers a ONE time benefit who may choose instead of all the others:
We’ll give your kid $100.000 to move out.