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DRESSED TO KILL

Coming Soon: Phallus-Shaped “Dickties” For Every Occasion

Are you tired of wearing the same old tie every day? Well, have we got news for you! A Kickstarter campaign has been launched to promote the Dicktie, a new phallus-shaped brand of designer neckties.

Made from 100 percent high-quality silk and available in three different colors, the Dicktie makes a bold yet subtle fashion statement. The ties are available in pink, black, and patterned, and should hit the market later this year.

These handmade ties promise “a raw sex appeal and representation of ascendancy to win you success in the bedroom and the boardroom.” Seriously, we can’t wait to order one in every color.

Check out the Dicktie promo video below. 

By:           Graham Gremore
On:           Apr 11, 2014
Tagged: , ,
  • 10 Comments
    • Tackle
      Tackle

      I was thinking this was a gag gift, but I see that they are serious about this being a common fashion accessory. One would have to be very careful where they wear this.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 10:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TerrenM
      TerrenM

      I’ve read many STUPID, worthless articles on Queerty; however….

      Apr 11, 2014 at 11:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • blondeboyz
      blondeboyz

      I doubt you will find these at Wally World

      Apr 11, 2014 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      It would go well with those pants Queerty showed pictures of a few years ago that had a fabric one hanging off the front.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 3:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • specialbottom
      specialbottom

      This product reminds me of the “pet rock.” Worthless. The Dicktie is one of the most stupid products ever. It doesn’t even look good. I wouldn’t be caught dead with such a tie. I predict that the company will go bankrupt in two months. I can only see somebody buying this tie as a wise-ass joke gift.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 6:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion
      hephaestion

      Unfortunately they are very ugly.

      Silly, bad idea. I hope they didn’t make too many of these.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 8:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Blackceo
      Blackceo

      This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen in my life

      Apr 11, 2014 at 8:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      Targeting the overlap between “situations dressy enough to wear a tie” and “situations where references to bodily functions and/or genitals” is going to be tough…

      Apr 11, 2014 at 10:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      ^should include the words “are ok” before “is going to be tough.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 10:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hyhybt
      hyhybt

      This tie should at least come with instructions, and enough extra length, to make a balls-shaped knot.

      Apr 11, 2014 at 11:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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