Conservatives are just as frugal with their words as they are with their federal dollars. Some pedological ideologues over at Conservapedia – the “trustworthy” encyclopedia – have penned a fairly concise and oh-so-balanced definition of homosexuality:
Homosexuality is an immoral sexual lifestyle between members of the same sex. It is more than simply a sexual act, it is going beyond the boundaries that God has setup for marriage; one man and one woman.
They’re so afraid of sodomy, they can’t even use a colon, except when it comes to allegedly anti-gay biblical references, which they list directly after their definition.
The scribes go on to tackle a number of subjects, including “cultural effects of an immoral lifestyle”, which includes diseases like HIV and intestinal parasites, “homosexuality and creationism” and “homosexual public indecency tolerated in San Francisco”. Better watch out San Fran, you’re looking like the next Sodom. Or Gomorrah, whichever you prefer…
And of course no homo-related study would be complete with a thorough examination of homophobia:
Opposition to homosexuality has been branded as irrational and hateful with the use of terms like “homophobia”. However, this term itself can also be a form of intimidation against opposition. Rather than attack their arguments they use a personal attack, labeling the opposer simply afraid.
Now, now, Conservapedia, that’s not true. We have plenty of other labels for you: ignorant, backward, degenerate, blasphemous and dumb fucks.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
In case you at Conservapedia are confused as to what we mean by “dumb fuck” (we noticed you don’t have the term your system), we’ll employ an urban dictionary definition, “a person is so incredibly stupid that it is not even funny any more”. This description, of course, should not be confused with the next entry, although they’re not mutually exclusive: “the current occupant of the White House”. We’re sure you kids over at Conservapedia know all about him, right?
WWH
I hope that by “intestinal parasite” they mean a big, uncut Latin cock.
nycstudman
“It is more than simply a sexual act, it is going beyond the boundaries that God has setup for marriage; one man and one woman.”
this must be what that douchebag from Treasure Island meant about gay sex being transgressive, risky, a religion, ad nauseum.
cjc
Conservapedia: because the truth has a well-known liberal bias. (Thank you, Mr. Colbert. Don’t be afraid of this bear. Please?)
Mr. B
I love how they have that enormous article on homosexuality, and then the articles for racism and bigotry are, like, less than five lines each.
Also, it’s the most unencyclopedic encyclopedia ever (seriously, Encylopedia Dramatica has better structure). They need some better writers.
Editor hat comes off now.