A gay New York City cop offered the worst explanation for allegedly sexually harassing his colleagues:

A gay NYPD lieutenant found guilty of sexually harassing two sergeants retired Wednesday, but vowed to keep fighting to clear his name.

Lt. Kieran Crowe, a 23-year-veteran, was suspended 60 days without pay for rubbing his crotch, simulating masturbation and wiggling his tongue at the male sergeants in his Equal Employment Opportunity office at Police Headquarters.

Crowe admitted at his department hearing that he may have scratched his groin area, but said it was because he suffered from jock itch.

Crowe says he's sure he can clear all of this up, although we suggest he focus his energies on clearing up his nether region…