On Thursday, a Dallas gay couple quietly handcuffed themselves to the Dallas County Records Building after being denied a marriage license.
Beau Chandler and Mark “Major Seven” Jiminez knew their application would be turned down and expected they might get arrested for their act of civil disobedience—which they were.
But the Dallas Police Department was helpful in expediting their release.
“Our bond was set at $500.00 each and when we walked out of jail after posting our bond, we were greeted with money to help defray the cost that was just collected in the past couple of hours,” he wrote. “Of course, it is not over. We have to appear in court August 2 at 8:30am. And of course, I will keep you all posted. We love all of you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We are humbled and moved.”
Despite being charged with criminal trespassing, a class B misdemeanor, Jiminez says the couple is standing their ground:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“We are still not going to let them tell us that we cannot get married and our marriage ceremony is scheduled for Thursday, September 13, 2012 ~ legally or illegally.”
Photo: C.D. Kirven
Mike
…..wow! It took you only 3 days to write this article. Congrats!
UsualPlayers
Another old white guy / young latino man couple. I guess they’re getting tired of mowing lawns LOL
Cam
We now have recent stories about gay couples fighting for rights in places like VA. and TX. Good for them.
The fact that gays and lesbians have gone from defending our rights against attacks in liberal states, to taking the fight for rights to conservative states is a great sign.
Good luck to these guys!!
Max
I’m glad they’re doing this. Texas needs it. Thank god for southern role models.
Halston
Now if you are going to protest this is what you do. Not throw glitter on old people and babies.
Spike
Gays should get out of Texas, let Mexico have it back, no loss, esp as it pertains to the Bush clan.
Ulf
Why does Queerty even allow comments when all they get are bitchie queens spewing
nonsense instead of…oh, I don’t know, contributing useful input/observations into the discussion?
Seriously, that was the best the previous two commentators could come up with, belated reporting and a clearly racist remark about two brave men fighting for their civil
rights?
It’s been repeatedly stated that what the gay community lacks, is a voice/leader
unifying it against civil repression.
I think it’s clear why no one in the community would want the job, when all they could expect is being *read* by the preponderance of loathsome trolls that seemingly infest
the community like a plague.
Queerty may contain a degree of banality, but at least there is the attempt to inform and entertain.
Hyhybt
Didn’t you already have an article on this? It seems awfully familiar…
Hyhybt
Never mind. I found the one I was thinking of, but it was on Huffington Post. I’d have sworn it was here.
UsualPlayers
On a serious note: This is typical Queerty biphobia / bisexual erasure. Just because these men are in a relationship with each other, you assume they are gay? One or both of these men could be bisexual, so I hope you verified that they are both gay before you published this post.
They “gay assumption” for men in relationships with other men is one of the main tools of biphobes and bisexual erasers.
Hyhybt
@UsualPlayers: It is fair to describe a relationship between two men as gay, even if one or both of them is actually bi.
Even among non-heterosexuals, those who are bi enough to justify the label are rare enough that it’s rational to assume someone isn’t unless they say they are. That’s not “erasure,” it’s being concise.
UsualPlayers
@Hyhybt: If I picked a random sample of Queerty stories (just look at the ones on the main page right now), I would find a number of stories in which people are referred to as “gay” without any verification. For instance, the story of the “gay” dads denied a family plan at a Virgina health club; how do we know they “gay” and not bisexual? Or in the story about the “anti-gay” group in Minnesota that was glitter-bombed: I think that group is anti-LGBT, not just “anti-gay.”
So no, it’s not “conciseness,” it’s a consistent pattern of assuming anyone in a male-male relationship must be gay. And that’s the definition of bisexual erasure. Sometimes I think Queerty is a front for the Westboro Baptist Church or NOM, given the staggering amount of biphobic bigotry on display here. Except that neither NOM nor the WBC is this shameless or this rabid in its bigotry.
Colin
They are silly. Gays who do this should not be supported or encouraged.
UsualPlayers
@Colin: Look who it is. Didn’t take Aquarelle long to begin her trolling.
Daez
@Colin: You know who should not be encouraged? People that are so inept at getting laid that they have to complain about everyone else that actually has sex. I’m sorry that my partner and I do it like rabbits, but it is my right, and you really need to find a nice girl and bone her for all its worth. When she is done laughing at the size of your penis and how you only lasted for one minute you will start to feel better.
Soakman
@UsualPlayers:
So… basically you are saying that every same-sex couple should be referred to as such because of avoiding assumptions?
I mean, I guess it’s legit, but I feel like it’s a bit presumptuous to also assume that they may be bi.
We all take these “gay men da-da-da-da-da” articles with a grain of salt. If it looks like a duck, you call it a duck. If the duck tells you otherwise, then you stand corrected.
But you do not know for a fact that these people are not purely gay people either.
1equalityUSA
I always suspected that ducks were, you know…and they flock together. Honk if you love__________.
Colin
@Daez: What?! What are you talking about? Your sex life has nothing to do with anything in this story, so why are you telling me how much you screw? Makes no sense.
UsualPlayers
@Soakman: Do you know what the name is for trying to wish an entire group out of existence?
It’s genocide.
As far as I’m concerned, these biphobic bigots, by practicing bisexual erasure, are quite simply laying out the groundwork for a bisexual Holocaust.
And people like you, who minimize the problem, are enablers of genocide.
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: “Another old white guy / young latino man couple. I guess they’re getting tired of mowing lawns LOL”
It figures. The guy who was babbling on & on about how wonderful “undocumented” immigrants are and insisting “LGBTs” should join in helping illegal immigrants, etc. makes an enlightened, sensitive statement like that one. Too funny. Yeah right, all young Latinos mow lawns? Is that why they want to come here? (And again, how many “pool boys” DO you have?) For all we know, Mark Jiminez in the picture may be a 7th-generation native Texan; it doesn’t say and it’s not relevant to the story.
It’s unlikely that either Latinos OR bisexuals can benefit from your “help”! But bringing up the Holocaust, gosh, that ALWAYS works and is a sure-fire, infallible rhetorical device!
UsualPlayers
@the other Greg: If you had any brains, you’d realize that given what I’ve said before about the undocumented, I’m not actually prejudiced; I simply told a JOKE.
Relax, please.
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: Right. Be sure to look up the minimum wage laws in your state and do W2s for your pool boys, ha ha. By the way, prostitution is still illegal in the U.S. outside of a few counties in Nevada – despite what Craigslist may have told you!
Soakman
@UsualPlayers:
I’m not saying that biphobia doesn’t exist.. I’m simply saying that it’s a little hard to identify something that you can’t perceived without a personal interview.
Also, genocide is a bit of a stretch. I’m not even aware of any anti-bisexual hate crimes other than slander and disrespect… which sucks but is nowhere close to being a movement toward genocide.
And by overstating the truth, you are undermining your cause.
UsualPlayers
@Soakman: “I’m simply saying that it’s a little hard to identify something that you can’t perceived without a personal interview.”
Exactly. So unless you know unequivocally that the person in question is gay, you should always use the phrase “gay, bisexual, polysexual or pansexual.” Anything else smacks of bisexual erasure.
As for genocide: Sorry going all Godwin on you; however, I do believe bisexual erasure conforms to the definition of genocide. The shoe, I’m sorry to say, fits …
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: But in your comments in another thread, you, as the Infallible Pontiff Who Decides All Matters of Sexuality (what, is Dan Savage on vacation?) have decided that trannies deserve to be erased?
Yeah, I can just see the AP and every news site following YOUR advice – or rather, pontifical declaration – and saying “gay, bisexual, polysexual or pansexual” instead of gay, every time.
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: But in your comments in another thread, you, as the Infallible Pontiff Who Decides All Matters of Sexuality (what, is Dan Savage on vacation?) have decided that transexuals deserve to be erased?
Yeah, I can just see the AP and every news site following YOUR advice – or rather, pontifical declaration – and saying “gay, bisexual, polysexual or pansexual” instead of gay, every time.
UsualPlayers
@the other Greg: That’s what people said when “LGBTQ” was proposed instead of simply “gay,” and the world came around.
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: The world? The “LGBT” (rarely w/Q) meme only appears in specifically gay publications and gay news sites. Even the most liberal, mainstream newspapers don’t use it, and when they need to quote it they have to explain it to their (95%+ straight) readers.
And don’t you want to get of the “T” anyway?
UsualPlayers
@the other Greg: Then LGBTQ news sites should once again lead the way in the use of “gay, bisexual, polysexual or pansexual.” Bisexual erasure among so-called LBGTQ news outlets is even more unforgivable than in mainstream ones.
Cam
@Colin:
Colin, we get it, you are a bigot who hates gays. But I’m not sure what you think you are proving by continually skulking around on a gay site.
You really aren’t foolling anybody you know. We ALL know that most anti-gay bigots are really just closeted gays.
Fox
Or Queerty could just have used ‘couple’ without a specific adjective or an unwieldy string of possibilities, and leave the assumptions about their sexuality to the reader’s imagination.
Colin
@Cam: Funny. I guess you just assume that anyone who disagrees with unnecessary actions like this is a heterosexual/bigot/NOM plant. Or, a self-hating gay. Fine. Have at it.
Both you and Daez seem to be fond of pulling things out of your rears and making extremely freaky accusations when discussing anything with anyone who disagrees with your positions. That’s not a good thing and you should work to correct that. I have no idea why you or Daez are even responding to my post in the first place.
UsualPlayers
@Fox: Like a lot of the people fighting biphobia and bisexual erasure, I believe that the phrase “gay, bisexual, polysexual or pansexual” is necessary in order to combat the homonormative pattern that has been imposed on the LGBTQ community and that leads many people to subconsciously assume that any male-male couple must be “gay.”
GOProudest
@UsualPlayers: You forgot to mention me too. I feel hurt 🙂
GOProudest
@UsualPlayers: Don’t you have anything useful to do with your life?
UsualPlayers
@GOProudest: You mean more useful than posting as Colin AND as Aquarelle?
PS: You’re not kidding anybody.
Kurt
Usual players quit being a RAC!ST fuck.
Rob
I agree Usual Players, in the LGBT community and in LGBT media (or GGGG media as I’ve seen internet memes say) there’s A LOT of biphobia, bisexual erasure, and gay men and lesbians think that’s it’s perfectly fine to be a biphobic hypocrite when in reality biphobia is just as bad as homophobia.
the other Greg
Polysexual. Sex with a parrot? That’s just wrong on so many levels. 🙂
Pansexual. Sex with kitchen implements? Be careful.
Biphobia? Well when I was single, if I saw “bi” on a dating profile or even (or maybe especially) on a casual sex profile, that was a turn-off. Sorry, it just was. Like most cisgender gay guys, I wasn’t much interested in the soap opera, the sob stories about how “my wife [or gf] doesn’t understand me” and yadda yadda. And I suppose most members of the opposite sex, maybe more, would have a similar attitude.
Is that where “biphobia” originates, at a personal level we don’t usually acknowledge? (Serious question.)
UsualPlayers
@the other Greg: Your comments about polysexuals and pansexuals are bigoted. Don’t forget that a few decades back, the word “homosexual,” if and when it was even uttered, would be, to most people, a subject for laughter as well.
As for biphobia: Yes, you are biphobic, as that anecdote clearly illustrates. It’s the very definition of biphobia, and I’m surprised you can’t see how incredibly bigoted that stuff that you wrote sounds. Fred Phelps would be proud.
As for the origins of biphobia: Sorry, but when I meet a homophobe, I don’t go digging around for the moment when he was 5 and his daddy joked that he was a sissy because he couldn’t throw a ball, which is probably why he dislikes gay people and I should feel very sorry for his trauma; I could give 2 shits about why you’re a homophobe. Same thing goes with biphobia–more so, since biphobia is so much more destructive in society than homophobia is.
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: Bisexuals can be bisexual all they want, fine with me but I don’t have to date them. I don’t have to date a smoker, or a drag queen, or a gay Republican either. For me all these fall under the heading of un-sexy. Sue me.
Re: poly/pan, you are oddly humor-deficient. It’s like talking to Sheldon on “The Big Bang Theory.”
Anyway you brought up those terms, apropos of nothing, but WHO uses them in real life? If you want to define them for us, go ahead. I can guess from the etymology but it’s not like they’re commonly used words in the real world, even in academia. Yet of course, being the endlessly chipper utopian that you are, you want every newspaper everywhere to use them!
Seriously, who goes around calling himself/herself a “polysexual” or “pansexual”? Anyone who does that probably hasn’t left the commune/pot farm in northern California since the ’70s.
UsualPlayers
@the other Greg: Not content with denying the existence of bisexuals, the other Greg moves on to poly- and pansexual erasure.
Are there any other groups of people you’d like to deny the right to exist?
UsualPlayers
@Kurt: I’m the least racist person on Queerty. Get your facts straight, b!tch.
UsualPlayers
@Kurt: I’m the least rac!st person on Queerty. Get your facts straight … b!tch!
the other Greg
@UsualPlayers: There ARE posters on Queerty who deny the existence of bisexuals. But I’m not one of them. Like I just said, I’m sure there are a lot of them because I ran into them all the time when I was single. I just didn’t want to date them, and neither do most cisgender gay guys. But some do, which is fine with me.
As for polysexuals and pansexuals, I don’t deny they exist either (whatever they may be, exactly), and I hope they’re happy enough up there in Mendocino. But they must find it difficult to settle down with one person, or two, or three? That’s not a joke. Like 99.99% of the population I’ve never knowingly met a poly- or pansexual because like I said, nobody goes around announcing themselves in quite that way. And I live in a blue state, it’s not like I live in Texas or something. But yeah, maybe you’re just making up words? Okay, we’re impressed!
the other Greg
“I’m the least rac!st person on Queerty.”
Not only that, but UsualPlayers also has THE MOST SINCERE PUMPKIN PATCH on Queerty!
Kurt
Then why the comment about Latino men and doing yardwork? That speaks volumes about you.
Making up stuff is fun!
@the other Greg: @the other Greg: @the other Greg:
I don’t really care either way about the argument you and UP are having, but:
–“…endlessly chipper utopian…”
–“Seriously, who goes around calling himself/herself a “polysexual” or “pansexual”? Anyone who does that probably hasn’t left the commune/pot farm in northern California since the ’70s.”
–“…I hope they’re happy enough up there in Mendocino.”
–“…THE MOST SINCERE PUMPKIN PATCH on Queerty!”
I am busting my freakin’ gut with laughter. Thank you, sir. Thank you for the laughter.
Drew
This is a silly and completely pointless ego driven “protest” that’s not going to accomplish anything.
I agree Greg the terms poly and pansexual are just other terms for being bisexual. Then again I have noticed how people who self identify as poly/pansexual do it because they have a lot of internalized biphobia and don’t want to come out or admit to everyone else that they’re actually bisexual.
Steve
Other Greg you’re biphobic since you don’t want to date bisexual men. No it’s not true that in your opinion most cis gay men don’t want to date bisexual men. I’m gay and I date bisexual men and my partner is bisexual.
Colin
“This is a silly and completely pointless ego driven “protest” that’s not going to accomplish anything.”
Good. Someone is actually discussing the topic of this thread. And yes, I agree.
Dixie Rect
Grass roots efforts make change happen – go boys!
Geoff
@UsualPlayers:
You need to get a dictionary.’ Wishing for a genocide’ – not going to make genocide happen. ‘Laying the groundwork for a Holocaust’ you know someone running around waiting to gas the bi’s and find some ovens.
Using these words so capriciously only makes you sound like a lunatic. but if the shoe fits
UsualPlayers
@Geoff: The 20th century’s horrors all began with the use of language to deny personhood to certain groups. You’ve clearly never read Derrida.
Brandon
Dixie this is not any sort of grass roots effort it’s two queens acting like spoiled brats and crying when they don’t get what they want right then and now and get their way completely.
Who decided that same gender marriage is the #1 right that all LGBT People need right now? Most LGBT people are single or in partnerships where they don’t want to marry their partner.
Passing ENDA is actually a lot more relevant and helpful to LGBT people as a whole since there are still states and companies where if you’re LGBT you can be fired from your job or harassed at work.
Jay
I agree Hyhybt queerty did write an article like this already. No need to give these two idiot queens even more media attention to their stupid “protest” that’s not going to do anything and will just give all LGBT People a bad name as these fools are doing.
Paul
@UsualPlayers: Wow!!! First off, I *have* to comment – you call the other greg to the carpet for his “bigoted” views of polysexuals and pansexuals, but then I see the first comment from you? Really??? Whether yours was a joke or not, do you see the hypocrisy there? Wasn’t the other greg just making a joke as well? (which actually…was quite amusing…your Latino joke was truly pretty offensive (my mouth actually fell open when I read it).
Second, I don’t disagree with you on the “bi-phobia” issue with gay men. Is it genocide? Well, I wouldn’t go *that* far, and I’m not 100% sure it’s even a phobia (sorry, I don’t know any gay men that have a phobia/fear towards bi men and find that concept hard to swallow). I wholeheartedly am w/the other greg in relation to his comment #37 and feel the same way, he’s right…it’s like straight people not really understanding what makes us gay – as much as our straight allies defend us and try, I don’t think they can fully understand 100% what being gay is really like unless they are one of us – much like I’m sure gay men can’t fully understand 100% what being bi is like, but a phobia? Having stated that, I do think that gays, bis, pansexuals, etc…should be able to be allies with each other. As far as biphobia being more destructive than homophobia, I strongly disagree. If anything, I would say transphobia is the far more destructive one – gay and bi people have it far easier than transgendered people. But again, we need to be allies with each other – none of this gay vs. bi vs. transgender crap – don’t we all get enough phobia from those who aren’t allies? Really, you need to let that biphobia shit go.
Which leads me to my last point. Regardless whet her or not these two gentlemen are gay, bi, pansexual, polysexual, tri-sexual, blue, green etc…they’re working for *our* cause in a conservative state and challenging things. Heroes in my book. No matter what their orientation or preference, that should be commended, the argument about their orientation is negligible.
Brandon
Biphobia is not a fear of bisexuals it’s simply bigotry towards bisexual men and women.
WHAT DOES BIPHOBIA LOOK LIKE?
* Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
* Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the so called different gender/sex.
* Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.
* Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
* Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
* Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
* Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
* Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
* Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
* Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
* Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.
* Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switch-hitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
* Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with so called different sex/gender partners.
* Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
* Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an different gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a so-called “heterosexual” pairing [sic].
* Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
* Assuming bisexual means “available.”
* Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
* Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover or whom they are dating only when that person is the “same” sex/gender.
* Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
* Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
* Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
* Saying how you would not date or have a relationship with a bisexual person.
* Saying that gays, lesbians, and straight people should avoid having relationships or dating bisexual people and just “Stick to their own orientation.”
* Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
* Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
UsualPlayers
@Paul: That’s a lot of words just to say you’re biphobic. And, in case you weren’t aware of it, you are: You are hugely biphobic.
UsualPlayers
@Brandon: Thank you, Brandon, for that lucid take-down of biphobic acts/attitudes. I’m glad to see that even in a haven of rabid, rancid biphobic bigotry like Queerty, there are still some enlightened people.
Paul
@UsualPlayers: Ok…than I clearly cannot help you with your evident phobia of anyone who isn’t bi or expresses an opinion that is not 100% agreement with your pristine one. What a waste of your mind.
the other Greg
@Brandon: You left out one:
Assuming that if you ever got into a relationship with a bisexual, he/she would want periodically to have sex with a person of the other sex, and the idea of this CREEPS YOU OUT. Ewwwwwww!
Bisexual woman
Greg your biphobia is hypocritical and sick.
DiCi
Uh… If anybody had bothered to read the article, Queerty never refers to either partner of the pair as ‘gay’. They refer to the couple as gay; a “gay couple”. This is an apt description. The couple involves two individuals of the same sex (in this instance both men appear to be cisgendered, before anybody accuses me of transphobia), this particular couple is indeed homosexual, even if either of those men does not identify as such. I suppose they could have used the more inclusive “same-sex couple”, but it’s hardly reasonable to take Queerty to task for biphobia (at least in this specific instance) when the adjective in question (gay) is accurately describing the kind of couple involved, and not the individual men as everyone is assuming.
Hyhybt
@DiCi: I think I tried saying something like that early on, but it didn’t do any good. Maybe you’ll get listened to.
Stay Faded
DiCi-The term “Gay couple” is NOT an apt description if one or both men are bisexual, or if one man is bisexual and the other man is gay.
Cam
@Colin: said…
“@Cam: Funny. I guess you just assume that anyone who disagrees with unnecessary actions like this is a heterosexual/bigot/NOM plant. Or, a self-hating gay. Fine. Have at it.
Both you and Daez seem to be fond of pulling things out of your rears and making extremely freaky accusations when discussing anything with anyone who disagrees with your positions. That’s not a good thing and you should work to correct that. I have no idea why you or Daez are even responding to my post in the first place.”
_____________________________
1. You never once pointed out anything that I said that was incorrect.
2. You said that gays should not be doing anything like this. Both the topic and the way you referred to “Gays” absolutely makes it obvious that you are either self hating or an anti-gay bigot. Your argument isn’t with me, it’s with yourself.
the other Greg
@Steve: @Bisexual woman: Wow, I’m flattered. Why am I so irresistible to the bisexual crowd? When I was single, you guys always wanted to date me. (But I didn’t realize even the women wanted me! Guess I just didn’t notice.) It’s all very flattering but as I said, I’m not single anymore.
To re-phrase an earlier point: I’ve been friends with smokers, drag queens, and even gay Republicans on occasion. But I didn’t want to date any of those categories because for me they all fall under the heading of un-sexy. Sue me. And since gay men smoke at such disgustingly high rates (40%+ vs. less than 18% for straight men) it certainly cut down my dating pool considerably to rule out smokers. I was ruling out nearly half the gay male population already, right there, so statistically I’d have benefited by adding non-smoking bisexuals to the dating list. But it was still a sexual turn-off and therefore pretty much out of my control.
I’ve been FRIENDS with bisexuals in real life. Was I biphobic just because I didn’t want to date them? That just seems a very odd benchmark to use for this. Sexual relationships are supposed to be personal. After all, we tell straight homophobes things like “If you don’t like gay marriage then don’t have one.” We don’t tell open-minded straights that “You’re homophobic if you won’t even consider a SEXUAL relationship with a gay person.” But you’re basically saying the same thing to open-minded (to friendship) gays who simply find bisexuality a little bit too much of a sexual turn-off. Other people’s sexual turn-ons and turn-offs are hard-wired, mysterious and not going to change by your yelling at them that they should change.
the other Greg
@Brandon: You’ve posted this listed several times, and I think a lot of it makes sense but some does not.
“Saying how you would not date or have a relationship with a bisexual person.” We can’t control our hard-wired sexual turn-ons and turn-offs. If someone tells you to “choose a side” and stop being a bisexual, you’re offended and rightly so. Stop telling me who I should want to fuck! That’s offensive.
*Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.” I assume exactly the opposite but I’ve still been called biphobic here.
“Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.” Probably most gay people think just the opposite, that they should be MORE outspoken.
“Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.” Easy to do if we focus on friendship. When they come onto me sexually I’m going to think of their sexuality (and be turned off, and then you get offended on behalf of All Bisexuals Everywhere).
“Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV to lesbians.” That’s just silly, no one believes that.
“Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV to heterosexuals.” Oh come on. Dude, my boyfriend and I are in a sero-discordant relationship and even we know this one is TRUE and statistically proven, unfortunately.
“Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of so called “lesbian and/or gay” issues.” I’ve read that list twenty times and can’t see any obvious split between the bisexual and/or lesbian/gay issues. Is there one? What is it?
Bisexual woman
Actually yes some people DO believe that bisexual men and women somehow spread HIV to lesbians, heterosexuals, and this is not only wrong it’s biphobia and pozphobia. Heterosexuals and gay men such as yourself are in denial that straight people spread HIV to each other and that this has nothing to do with bisexuals or bisexuality.
Greg’s biphobia is hypocritical and it just shows how he’s a bigot.
Actually Greg, a lot of gay men and lesbians who are biphobic like you are, do wish that bisexual people would not be nearly as visible or outspoken for our rights as we are.
DiCi
@Stay Faded:
The couple, the pairing, the relationship, is homosexual. Gay. Not the men (or not necessarily at least). If two bisexual men are in a relationship, it is a same-sex (homo… sexual…) relationship. Gay has become synonymous with homosexual (used more frequently in reference to male pairings) but is admittedly a loaded word with certain political and identity-heavy connotations. As I previously stated, ‘same-sex’ is probably a better term to use, for purposes of inclusion and political correctness. However, my point still stands. It is an apt qualifier for the pairing itself but NOT the individuals therein. Bisexual individuals are fortunate enough to enjoy both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, some even with people who identify as such. That is indeed what makes them bisexual. So in this instance the men of unknown (and unstated) orientation involved were in a committed homosexual relationship ( a ‘gay couple’ if you will). I suppose it would had been presumptuous (and biphobic if you must) for Queerty to have said “a couple of gay men” or “two gay men in a couple together”, but they did not (at least in this particular instance).
the other Greg
@Bisexual woman: “Heterosexuals and gay men such as yourself are in denial that straight people spread HIV to each other…” Sure, if they butt-fuck without condoms, and/or share needles. Like anybody else.
I’m not “in denial” about anything HIV-related since as I said I’m in a sero-discordant relationship. We intend to keep it that way.
Donald
That’s bullshit Greg I’ll bet you and your partner are HIV+ and the one that thinks that he’s “Neg” really is Poz.
Max
Greg way to make up excuses for your bigotry and biphobia. So somehow it’s “Gross” that we bisexuals are sexually attracted to the opposite gender? Or that we’re not “gay” enough for your bigoted standards of dating or a relationship? Go join the Westboro Baptist church, vote for Santorum, or support the Bachmanns since those groups are all akin to your bigotry and biphobia.
the other Greg
@Donald: There are thousands, probably tens of thousands, of long-time sero-discordant relationships, both same-sex and opposite sex. It’s fairly easy to do. It’s not rocket science.
the other Greg
@Max: I don’t think it’s “gross” per se, or in general. Have sex with whoever you want. I just didn’t want to join in. What’s the big deal?
Damn – why am so irresistible to you guys? Can’t you find anybody to date without including me in the dating pool? Like I said, I have a boyfriend now anyway. 🙂
If you were a smoker, I would indeed think you were “gross.” But at least smokers didn’t go around calling me “smoker-phobic” just because I wouldn’t date them.
Unlike you, I don’t go around telling other people who they should want to have sex with. That’s the very definition of a busybody bigot.
Kate
DiCi-Quit making up excuses for your own biphobia. The idea that a bisexual person when they’re with a same gendered partner is in a “Gay or lesbian” relationship is biphobia and bisexual erasure.
Then again bigots like yourself and Gregg will use any excuse and claim that they’re not biphobic when those of us who are bisexual know better.
the other Greg
Jeez, I hadn’t realized that bisexuals were all busybody bigots who want to run everybody else’s sex lives.
Worse than that – not only everyone’s sex lives, but everyone’s innate SEXUAL DESIRES.
Maybe bisexuals will all decide next that the weather shouldn’t be so hot?
Colin
@Cam: 1) I don’t need to argue against random assumptions that have no basis whatsoever.
2) This point only proves you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Again, pulling things out of your rear and making totally baseless, freaky accusations that aren’t true. Some other commentators (Drew and Brandon, for starters) expressed similar feelings about this couple’s actions. I don’t see you attacking them and their language and picking it apart to prove your own foregone conclusions.
Good luck.
Colin
@the other Greg: @the other Greg: You have handled yourself very well against these pissy little fools and their bisexual agenda. Stick to your guns, man.
the other Greg
@Colin: Thanks!
DiCi
@Kate:
I’m simply outlining the usage of the word as per the English language. After all, the contention was with its perceived assignation to the men involved in the article, no? Based on its etymology homosexual translates to anything having to do with the same sex. Technically you could refer to gendered bathrooms and locker room as homosexual rooms. The men happen to currently be in a same-sex relationship and thus their pairing (again, the couple they are within, not the individuals) falls categorically under the correct usage of such an adjective, regardless of your projected inferences concerning their orientation. You could argue that the term ‘gay’ is not necessarily a synonym for the broader ‘homosexual’, but we can forgive a news publication for its attempts at colloquialism if nothing else. The idea that categorizing something linguistically is tantamount to wholesale discrimination is not only ludicrous, but counter-productive to the point of the article (ie: two brave men decided to speak up against the discriminatory marriage policy of their state) I realize among our community it is popular to encourage (or demonize apparently) usage of inclusive terms, but lets not turn a reader’s misunderstanding of the English language into something it isn’t.
Now before you accuse me of biphobia again, rest assured I have never been afraid of the number two. Not even numbers, pairs, or doubles of any kind. Nope. No bi (two)phobia(fear) here.
Zach
WTF is up with all of these biphobic idiots on this site? Then again there are a lot of gays and lesbians on here who will flat out ignore biphobia, claim that it doesn’t exist or that it’s not nearly as bad as homophobia, and be totally biphobic the way Gregg and others are while pretending that they’re not bigoted towards bisexual people.
Then again these people are trolls just like Colin and the other Greg.
Maria
I find biphobia in the gay community ridiculously hypocritical and wish the hypocritical gays and lesbians would just shut up.
I was outed at school when I was 14 – not a great time for me. I never had any problems with my sexuality until I was 30 (I’m now 44) and could no longer ignore that I was attracted to men and that I’m bisexual. I also had to cope with a lot of prejudice and biphobia from the lesbian community. I encountered far more prejudice coming out as bisexual than I ever did as a lesbian – and it was from within the gay community that had been my support network for 15 years, at a time when I needed support. I’m nearly 45 now and really only now am I comfortable with who I am as a bisexual, but it’s no thanks to a peer group I once considered my extended family. Their loss.
Colin
@Maria: Then find other bisexuals who share your feelings and outlook. I’ve said it before that bisexuals are better off only dating other bisexuals. Why are you people so insistent that gays and lesbians accept you and date you? If you were really comfortable with yourselves you wouldn’t be carrying on like this.
Ramon H.
Colin-I’m sure you feel the same way about gays and lesbians who feel as though straight people have to accept us, and that if we gays and lesbians were comfortable with ourselves we wouldn’t carry on like this.
the other Greg
@Ramon H.: We accept you. What mystifies me is that I’ve been called “biphobic” here by what, close to ten people now (if they’re all different posters), just because when I was single I didn’t want to have a relationship with a bisexual guy.
When did it become dogma among bisexuals that ALL gay men must be sexually attracted to them in order to be absolved of the slanderous charge of “bigotry”?
No other marginalized group does this. Women don’t call us misogynists for not being sexually attracted to them. Transgenders don’t call us transphobic if we’re not sexually attracted to F-to-Ms – some of us will be, of course – I mean it’s not a blanket condemnation and demand that ALL gay men must be open to that, or be called bigots. (And trans people can be pretty touchy about semantics, but for some reason, they seem to want mere acceptance, not enforced sexual desirability!)
Only the bisexuals confuse “acceptance” with “demanding that ALL gay men change our sexual hard-wiring to be sexually attracted to them.”
And in case it hasn’t occurred to anybody, THAT’S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE. Even if I wanted to do it, I couldn’t do it, any more than any of us can turn straight by joining an “ex-gay” group.
Do bisexuals have electrodes and “Clockwork Orange” technology available to force gay men to be sexually attracted to you guys? Sorry to break it to you, but I doubt that would work either!
Mike
I’m gay and I never understood why some fags like Greg don’t like bisexual men? This is nothing but bigotry and biphobia on their part. Then again so many gay men like Greg want equality and acceptance yet refuse to give it to others within the LGBT community, and they’re hypocrites.
the other Greg
@Mike: Did you actually read my last post? I don’t usually say this, but… fucking moron.
Again, it’s not about “liking” (or being friends with, which I do) or “acceptance.” According to certain bisexuals here – or maybe it’s the same fucking moron, over and over – it’s basically about forcing gay men to have sex with them.
Hyhybt
@Mike: Personal taste is just that. Mine is that I don’t care whether you’re gay or bi. I care very much that you be the sort of person who is willing to settle into a permanent, exclusive relationship with one person. And I don’t believe being bi automatically means not wanting that.
Charli
@Colin:
They are responding to you bc you friend are an ass! You come in a gay site and say that these brave men are “silly bc they are fighting to exsist! ” Well as a lesbian that gets hit on by stupid str8 males day after day after day… I think you are silly and a waste of space in MY world!!! You str8 bigoted males make me sick and I love watching your stupid little faces when you are told you “ain’t built right boy”!!!!!