Internet arbiter of good taste Davey Wavey has two rules for all gay men: hang out with The Olds, and take it up the rectal cavity. Keep in mind this mandate for homosexual men comes from the same guy whose weight loss tips include telling yourself you’re disgusting, but maybe he’s got a point?
Playing both roles, at least a few times, isn’t just about seeking out new sources physical pleasure (although that’s part of it). Rather, argues Davey, getting strict tops to try out bottoming is a way of equalizing the power dynamics of sex — and society.
“Strict tops,” says Davey, “don’t want to bottom because they’re afraid of how much they’re gonna like it.” I’m not sure I’d entirely agree, although a certain percentage of strict tops would fall into this category. Rather, plenty of strict tops don’t want to bottom because playing receiver (or “passive” if you’re European, or a “zero” if you’re Chinese) somehow means you’re not as masculine as guys who only penetrate. “We never make fun of people for being tops,” says Davey, while bottoms get thrown into some fem category that’s second-class among gay men.
(Going off on a slight tangent, Davey says he feels “bad for close-minded straight guys that don’t engage in anal play because they’re missing out on really amazing feelings and intense sensations. I think for a lot of straight guys, they’re afraid that they’re really going to enjoy it, and then they’re gonna feel kinda gay, and that they’re less of a man.” Again, I don’t fully agree: Plenty of straight guys don’t even think about whether they’re “going to enjoy it,” because they’re so disgusted by the thought of sex in their poopy region.)
“Personally, I don’t think it makes you more of a man to be a strict top,” says Davey. And on that one, well, I fully concur.