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Davey Wavey Rejects The Fallacy That Strict Tops Are More Masculine Than Bottoms

Internet arbiter of good taste Davey Wavey has two rules for all gay men: hang out with The Olds, and take it up the rectal cavity. Keep in mind this mandate for homosexual men comes from the same guy whose weight loss tips include telling yourself you’re disgusting, but maybe he’s got a point?

Playing both roles, at least a few times, isn’t just about seeking out new sources physical pleasure (although that’s part of it). Rather, argues Davey, getting strict tops to try out bottoming is a way of equalizing the power dynamics of sex — and society.

“Strict tops,” says Davey, “don’t want to bottom because they’re afraid of how much they’re gonna like it.” I’m not sure I’d entirely agree, although a certain percentage of strict tops would fall into this category. Rather, plenty of strict tops don’t want to bottom because playing receiver (or “passive” if you’re European, or a “zero” if you’re Chinese) somehow means you’re not as masculine as guys who only penetrate. “We never make fun of people for being tops,” says Davey, while bottoms get thrown into some fem category that’s second-class among gay men.

(Going off on a slight tangent, Davey says he feels “bad for close-minded straight guys that don’t engage in anal play because they’re missing out on really amazing feelings and intense sensations. I think for a lot of straight guys, they’re afraid that they’re really going to enjoy it, and then they’re gonna feel kinda gay, and that they’re less of a man.” Again, I don’t fully agree: Plenty of straight guys don’t even think about whether they’re “going to enjoy it,” because they’re so disgusted by the thought of sex in their poopy region.)

“Personally, I don’t think it makes you more of a man to be a strict top,” says Davey. And on that one, well, I fully concur.

By:           JD
On:           Apr 3, 2011
Tagged: ,

  • 36 Comments
    • William
      William

      “…this mandate for homosexual men comes from the same guy whose weight loss tips include telling yourself you’re disgusting…”

      You are taking Davey’s tips completely out of context. Did you even watch that video in its entirety?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 1:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tim
      Tim

      I once viewed another video by this imbecile and kept asking myself where a twit like this could get off being so simultaneously uninformed and smug at the same time while making idiotic assertions about the gay community. What an asshole.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 1:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn. Next???

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lefty
      Lefty

      Awww, he’s okay.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ealan74
      Ealan74

      ok, i’ve never watched any of DW’s blogs because he seems obnoxious, but he’s totally right on in this vid.

      Tim, what was he wrong about?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman
      alan brickman

      Everybody should stop eating their jealousy and hit a gym already!!

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Will
      Will

      Pretty good clip – wise advise.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric
      Eric

      sheesh. put on a shirt, twatface.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 2:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Shannon
      Shannon

      PPPLLLEEAAASSSEE…………..MAKE THIS GUY PUT A SHIRT!!! PPPLLLEAAASSSEEEE…..MAKE THIS SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO THE HELL AWAY!! STOP TELLING THIS QUEEN SHE IS CUTE…CAUSE SHE IS NOT!!!!!

      Apr 3, 2011 at 3:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Believe me. It’s possible to dislike him without being jealous. And I do go to the gym. I also dislike Britney Spears. I’m not jealous of her.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 3:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jay P
      Jay P

      Alan: “hit a gym already”…isn’t that in itself perpetuating masculine ideals? You don’t have to be muscular to be healthy (nor is it necessarily true that if you are muscular that you are healthy).

      I think the issue is a bit more complex, but Davey has a point, which I’m pretty sure he’s mentioned before.

      And no I’m not advocating being overweight or unhealthy — just thought I’d clarify that before some dumbass replies.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 3:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ken S
      Ken S

      I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d really love for all the catty jerks on here who shoot down every single last thing that Dave says to start trying to refute him instead of merely dismissing. Every video there’s comment after comment, “shut up,” “you don’t know anything,” “what an idiot,” and so on. Well, boys, if he’s so utterly wrong in everything he says then put forward a counter-argument of your own. Participate constructively in a discussion, instead of just trying to shut it down. Say something that actually adds to the conversation. Put up or shut up yourselves, because shrilling “put a shirt on!” while saying nothing whatsoever to the argument he’s making does make you look jealous, and like you have nothing of worth to contribute. Petty sniping will never convince anyone of anything- except that you’re petty.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • justiceontherocks
      justiceontherocks

      This video reminds me of something Addison DeWitt said to 0laudia Casswell in “All About Eve” – “You have a point. An idiotic one, but a point nonetheless.”

      Apr 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Hlavac
      Jim Hlavac

      Davey Wavey is just himself. He does what he does. So what? If you want it done right — do it yourself. He’s just a dude, making a living. Do what you do, stop the bitching.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 5:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jim Hlavac
      Jim Hlavac

      Oh yah, years ago, in the printing industry in NYC, I kept running across straight guys who were quite sure that all gay guys were “catchers” — oral or otherwise. I asked them — “if we’re all catchers whom is doing the pitching?” They had no answer to the profound question. And I’m almost certain that most straight guys think that we’re all bottoms, or in straight-speak “Play the girl.” And so they find it hard to believe there are tops at all. And yet as many a joke has it — the more butch a man is, the more helium in his heels. It’s not such a clear thing, and who cares?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 5:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Still, it’s okay if I don’t like him and he annoys me, right? Isn’t anyone with an open blog who gives advice open to criticism?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 7:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • justnow
      justnow

      @alan brickman: you forgot the .com and i think every gay worth their salt knows that. you seem like a troll Alan

      @Jay P: nor masculine to be muscular thx otherwise Jay P, you seem like a troll Alan

      @Jim Hlavac: was it recorded? im always in for a laugh- thx Jim

      Apr 3, 2011 at 7:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ashton cruz
      ashton cruz

      I dont think it has anything to do with feeling less of a man if you bottom. I just don’t find any pleasure at all whatsoever in getting fucked. Tried it 3 times and yawn, what a bore. On the other hand give me a loud cockhungry bottom spread open on the bed and I’m like a starving ethiopian boy with a bowl of half cooked rice. Yum!!!!

      Next time you want to judge me for not wanting to get fucked think about the chance you just missed to get your pretty little pucker get feasted on, whore-shiped, slobbered, nibbled and then ultimately worked over by a cock who actually knows not only how to pound you silly but who also loves to take the time to get you off four or five times before the night is over without thinking you are less of a man for loving to bottom.

      The only people who think total tops feel bad about bottoming are the ones who actually feel less for actually loving it.

      Sincerely: A true total top.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Are you in porn? Or a porn writer?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jay P
      Jay P

      @justnow: Yes yes, that totally invalidates my point. Get a life douche.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Christopher
      Christopher

      just because his ass is always in the air doesn’t mean we all need to behave like him!

      Apr 3, 2011 at 8:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman
      alan brickman

      bring back morning goods so the whiners have something to complain about….

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman
      alan brickman

      working out does promote a positive view of yourselves…stop acting like a bunch of whiney “cat-ladies”…

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • alan brickman
      alan brickman

      Davey is expressing an opinion…top or bottom doesn’t sound like hate speech…what happened to free speech??

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Soupy
      Soupy

      Alan, don’t get hysterical. No one is saying that working out is bad, no one is calling what he does hate speech. Calling something stupid is not hate speech. It’s free speech. Have you taken your “mother’s little helper”?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris Rico
      Chris Rico

      It’s slightly ironic that you’re talking about how gays participate in this “I’m more masculine than you are” charade when you’re making that speech with your shirt off to display your huge muscles..I’m just saying.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kusaka
      Kusaka

      @ Ashton Cruz: Marry me please

      Apr 3, 2011 at 9:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • rodrigo
      rodrigo

      I agree with davey wavey, the whole idea of sex itself is just to basically discover what you like or you don’t like, but you can’t completely shut out your self and say you don’t like something when you haven’t even tried it (like the complete tops he talks about). Saying that, I can’t blame someone if they don’t like to top (or bottom) but I certainly think that the gay community has become very black and white when it comes to sexuality. If you are a top then you are assumed to be the more masculine one in a relationship and if you’re the bottom you are somehow the girl in the relationship. Whatever happened to versatility?

      Apr 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David K
      David K

      It takes a real man to get fucked in the ass.

      Apr 3, 2011 at 11:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Silver
      Silver

      @David K: Seriously.

      As for the rest, I must say, as a committed bottom, that I personally don’t give a shit if someone wants to top all the time or bottom all the time. Someone who has only topped may not necessarily enjoy bottoming. Hell, they may not even be good at it, but that misses the point: they don’t have to do it. Is the nature of sex not wholly consensual? Each partner does what he/she wants to do, within the bounds of what their partner(s) want to do. Why should people do something that they have no desire to do? This sounds just like the straight people who say to me: “Oh, dude, if you’d just try a woman, you’d like it. How can you know you don’t like something you’ve never tried?”

      Apr 3, 2011 at 11:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • adman
      adman

      Is it me, or did every OTHER gay man in the world get the memo to have sex however they like without defining our partner in degrading ways sometime before the age of….Oh, I dunno, 23? If we’re going to have to go through this shit yet again I want the entire nineties back! Back when Davey Wavey’s existence would have been as compelling as watching paint dry. Well, we have that part back, but still…

      Apr 4, 2011 at 3:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Spike
      Spike

      I wonder if this guy is capable of having sex with any thing other then a mirror.

      Apr 4, 2011 at 9:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • justiceontherocks
      justiceontherocks

      @Spike: what makes you think a mirror would have anything to do with him?

      Apr 4, 2011 at 9:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NYCNYC
      NYCNYC

      Way to go, DW! Keep blogging.

      Apr 4, 2011 at 2:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jaeden
      Jaeden

      @ashton cruz:

      my kind of man!

      Apr 5, 2011 at 12:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeremy Fitzroy
      Jeremy Fitzroy

      I like to bottom for bottoms, and top tops, it’s really fun this way, I used to be strict top, until an ex who was really a good versatile. However most bottoms expect to be done, so what choice do I have? Haha

      Oct 6, 2011 at 7:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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