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Day Without a Gay: Great Idea, Terrible Name

Imagine the world without gays: The hair salon’s empty, the spin class lost without its instructor, neighborhood’s totally lacking in cute little shops that specialize in imported soaps infused with essential oil, because there’s nobody to buy them. Well, on December 10th, a Day Without a Gay won’t just be the set-up for an Ugly Betty nightmare sequence anymore. It will be real.

When we first heard about ‘Day Without a Gay’s,  plan to “call in gay” we snickered “Isn’t that what Disco Monday is for?”, because as many of you have pointed out, we’re a little cynical.  The more we learned about what organizers of the group had in mind, however, the more the cold, cold cockles of our tiny grinch-like heart saw the value of the idea, even if the name makes it sound like something that will only effect ladies who have hair appointments.

Day Without a Gay chose Dec. 10th, International Human Rights Day as a way “take a historic stance against hatred by donating love to a variety of different causes.” That’s right, you don’t get to sleep in and catch-up on your DVD box set of The Wire, you get to donate the time you’d normally spend working for Straightie to worthy causes. The site, yet another grassroots internet initiative, offers up volunteer opportunities in all 50 states with the idea that we can “shift our strong feelings about injustice toward service.”

The Day Without A Gay mission statement reads:

“Gays, lesbians, and straight allies plan to call in “gay” to volunteer within their local LGBT communities on December 10, 2008 to protest passage of anti-gay constitutional amendments in Arizona, Florida, and California. Wherever possible, gay Americans and allies plan to volunteer for local gay and civil rights organizations across the country through a brand new national database at www.daywithoutagay.wetpaint.org.

Every day since Election Day, thousands have protested up and down streets in cities across California, including in Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco and Sacramento. A national, grassroots coalition of LGBT activists have followed in their footsteps. Now gay citizens and their allies are teaming up to show America and the world the compassion, the love, and the posititve spirit of the gay community through service.

On December 10, 2008 the gay community will take a historic stance against hatred by donating their time to a variety of different causes in order to raise public awareness of the need for LGBT equality in marriage and in other civil rights.”

This is a great idea. One of the questions we’ve all been asking ourselves is beyond protesting, what is there the gay community can tangibly do. The protests are important, as it’s incredibly clear that far too many Americans who think gay people live a charmed, hate crime free life and/or want to smash down all the churches and make their children dress like Little Lord Fauntleroy and it’s only through visibility that people will start taking a closer look at the second-class status of our community.

But it’s equally important that we reinvest in our community. If we want to be successful, we need to not only question our gay leaders, we need to be willing to step up to the plate. Day Without a Gay is a fantastic way of getting that ball rolling. We’re also fans of any movement which includes this question in their FAQ:

Will this get me on Oprah?
If it will get you to help out, then…yes…you’ll be on Oprah, Honey.

Since we’re not allowed out of the house, Queerty will be celebrating Day Without a Gay by taking December 10th to highlight the stories behind some of the LGBT/ Equal Rights organizations around the world that are working on our behalf.

On:           Nov 19, 2008
Tagged: , , ,
    • JPinWeHo

      I also can’t stand the name. Do you know how long it took me to get my parents to stop saying “My son is a gay” rather than “My son is gay”? Ugh.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott

      Could be worse. Something like “Year Without a Queer” or something.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777

      Just like the movie “Wedding Wars” with John Stamos, only without his swarthy sexiness.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777

      Also, they could just call it “Day Without Gays”.

      Same meaning, better ring.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Leland Frances

      Poking eyes out! Jessica H. Christ! You surrendered your cynicism for THIS? A Day Without Gay???? As Oscar Levant used to say: “Out of the mouths of babes comes………….oatmeal.”

      The cross-country demos last week might have succeeded [in their EXTREMELY narrow goal] IN SPITE OF their childette organizer from Seattle who told 365gay.com she thinks we should leave the Mormons alone and doesn’t even realize she SUPPORTS PROP 8 herself when she says that CHURCHES should decide what to call OUR relationships. But her “Day” is breathtakingly RETARDED as change strategy.

      So a HANDFUL of community service organizations will have a FEW extra volunteers that day. Sweet and cuddly IN CONCEPT. But there is NO way to cost-effectively MEASURE how many people will actually participate and, therefore, there is NO way to DOCUMENT its success. If it stank anymore they’d have to call it “A Day Without Wiping Our Ass”!

      Raise your hand if YOU want to call all of the hundreds of thousands of businesses in this country and ask them how many people called in “gay.”

      This is as fucking stupid as a children’s make believe tea party. There’s no real tea; the emperor has no clothes, and this self-delusional nonsense is a shit sucking waste of time to even talk about. Will someone please call the jejune nutjobs in Seattle and tell them to GROW THE FUCK UP?

      Doing “something” is NOT always better than doing nothing. Movement is not always the same as ACTion. And without actual, well-thought out, measurable goal-identified ACTion nothing will change.

      It couldn’t be MORE stupid or pointless than were it organized by the Prop H8TERS to keep us chasing our own tails instead of DOING something that might actually CHANGE things. Don’t close the streets in the fucking Castro. Close them in front of the SF Archbishop’s home or in front of any Mormon meeting place. DISRUPT the lives and self-satisfaction and POWER of the other side just as the black civil rights movement did with the Montgomery bus boycott and lunch counter sit ins and….

      This isn’t Stonewall 2.0. This is the first day of Kindergarten.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 6:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bruno

      @Leland Frances:

      I agree. Too many of us are willing to buckle under the weight of absurdly being called “terrorists” and haven’t the balls to back up our talk. We need to be disrupting Sunday morning, not Saturday morning in the gayest areas of the country.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sparkle obama

      oh my gosh, “get a sense of humor”, as the children say nowadays!
      “day w/out a gay” is cute, in my opinion.
      i guess if you feel precious about the word “gay”…
      but if you feel *at all* alienated from the “gay” mainstream, it’s hilarious to refer to “the gays”.
      sue me, perhaps i’m a bit alienated.
      i’m not even that dark, but “the gays” as a self-segregating group made it clear to me by 14 years old that i was “the other”, and i better hadn’t dare forget it!
      …as cute as i was!!
      when i left SF in 2005, there was a huge scandal going on in the castro re: a popular bar that regularly thinned its share of african american “gays” by selectively asking for two forms of i.d.
      the exposed, embattled owner then purchased, or attempted to purchase the venerable Black gay bar across the street, which had long served Black gays made to feel unwelcome elsewhere in the castro.
      who here w/ newer info can tell the rest of that embarassing story in this space?
      i’m not here to be bitter or make enemies, but i am laughing
      at all the proud cultural myopia and nitpicking, artificial shock& outrage expressed on this site!
      i feel that full equal rights for Us are an inevitability, but until then, organized, positive protests are the healthy way to channel Our feelings and hasten that day.
      when We secure Our rights, some of Us would be wise to keep Our humor, Our humility and Our perspective as a small, unique minority, segregated within itself and w/ disproportionate cultural power and remarkable social mobility predicated largely on race and comparative wealth.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DaveO

      This seems juvenile.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stenar

      The debate about the name is juvenile. It’s imperfect but fine.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • josh


      year without a queer!!!!

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sexorcism

      Love it!

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dubwise

      IMHO, it doesn’t seem as effective as taking it BACK to the ballot box in two years.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anarchos

      @Leland Frances: Uh, so what is it YOU’RE doing for the cause exactly? Aside from criticizing everyone else I mean.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 7:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bruno

      @sparkle obama:

      I remember that…the Badlands owner’s name was/is Les Natali, who has and always be a complete dick. I also recall EVERY Saturday night for a month or two I’d hear protests outside that bar from my house, and I don’t think it was only white gays & lesbians doing that.

      But of course there have been racial tensions amongst gays & lesbians. I think it sucks, and I don’t understand it, nor have I ever. At the same time, I’m not sure there’s any widespread conspiracy to exclude gays of color. At least I would hope not.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 8:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jordan

      @Leland Frances: Couldn’t agree more. How many times have we seen these boycott days before? Gas prices? War? Immigration? I can’t even count them.

      Nonetheless, not only is there no way to measure them, but there’s no way that 90% of the gay folks out there are going to put their jobs in jeopardy to make a political statement with their career. If I left a message on the voicemail of my manager saying I wasn’t coming to work because it’s the day without a gay, I’d be in some serious trouble.

      Demonstrations, phone-banking, door-knocking, and all the rest are great because they allow people to use their free time. Moreover, it makes an even larger statement, because really, who WOULDN’T love an excuse to call in to work? But who wants to march 10 miles across Hollywood on their free time? See the difference? With one, all you’re saying is that you’re a slacker, and you enjoy being a burden to an already burdened economy. With the other, you say that your rights matter enough to sacrifice free time.

      Times are extremely tough, and there’s just no way that people are going to risk their jobs for a political cause, no matter how much they’re in favor of it. And even if they do, do we really think we’re going to get the exposure we want?

      Nov 19, 2008 at 8:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NY Diva

      I hope that we do not lock out gay businesses. We need to collect at Gay Bars, Gay Restaurants and Gay Clubs – to show solidarity

      Nov 19, 2008 at 8:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nate


      I understand where you are coming from, being that calling in “gay” is going to jeopardize your position at work. However, I believe that’s sort of the point. Look, I’m a po’ little college student in NYC, and I’m only 24 and have been lucky, in that my parents were totally fine with my sexuality and I haven’t suffered much.
      However, I’m willing to. We as a community are so sadly, and easily, swept aside. We get told it’s a choice, that we can change, that we’re insignificant or weak. This is an opportunity, however juvenile it may seem, to at least TRY to say otherwise. I understand that it isn’t the easiest thing to do, but cynicism (don’t even get me started on Frances up there) is just hurting US. That’s all. We hurt ourselves each time we refuse to come together as a collective one and fix this problem. Where would black people be if there weren’t people willing to get blown off of diner stools by firehoses? Thank god they were willing to suffer a little for the cause. Take the 80 dollar hit on your paycheck, be reasonable and understand that if you are at risk of losing your job for missing one day, then you clearly aren’t on the stablest of ground with them. Suck it up and try to change something. Otherwise don’t discourage those around you who fight not only for themselves, but for YOU as well with words of laziness and self-doubt.

      I’ll give the soapbox back now… thanks for letting me borrow it.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 8:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thor

      I think the title of the whole thing is trying to emulate that one independent film “the day with out a Mexican”

      Nov 19, 2008 at 9:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PJ

      This is the gay version of the Blue Flu.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sdandy

      Regardless of the name, I think it is a good idea to do things that are positive and constructive. This won’t be a be-all end-all, but it certainly can be a good image polisher. The more people are visible to more people (at work and volunteering) the more people will see us in all of our various states of glory. If we help others, others will be more likely to help us. Maybe lessons like this could have been used to reach other minorities the last decade or so. I know I haven’t personally taken steps to do things like these. Now sure seems like a good opportunity.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Roland Basque

      I think it’s really cool to be anti-gay.I mean what does “gay” entail?Is it about a bunch of heterophobes trying to advance their own intolerant and narcissistic agenda?Everyone I know enjoys mimicking and making sport of the self absorbed nebbish twits who consider themselves candidates for veneration just because they are so called gay.Nobody really likes queers they just consider them material for great comedy.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • William Hart

      Day without a gay works for me, I’m a dog walker

      Nov 19, 2008 at 10:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      LMAO, this is hilarious! BTW, I think what Leland frances says has SOME point to it. Although you wouldn’t be making a huge mark by calling in ‘gay’ and doing some community work. Neither would calling in ‘gay’ and protesting at a MORMON church or some catholic bishops house. It is out of their hands PEOPLE, the vote is over. Try setting up CALL centers, EMAIL centers, MAILING posts, (let your government officials know what you’ve done and why your doing it) and give them the biggest PROTEST the california state capitol has ever seen… you might actually get the attention of the people who’s hands it is in at this point. I mean I feel sorry for the gay community. I think you are SLOW at the ballot box and in the election. Being a gay, mormon, prop 8 supporter… I am actually am VERY ashamed that you can’t come up with better more affective ways of channeling your passion and activism to get better results.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 11:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777


      Being a gay man who had to read that post, I’m very, very ashamed that you couldn’t spell “effective” properly, among other things.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 11:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      Fredo – thanks for checking my spelling, you didn’t have to read it, and among other things you must have missed the point of the post.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 11:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777


      The only point that I needed to get was that you were a Prop 8 supporter, really.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 11:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      Well then I’ll leave it to the blind to lead the blind.. hopefully you will find a cliff somewhere to fall off of.

      Nov 19, 2008 at 11:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777


      Nah. I can see (+ spell) just fine, thanks.


      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @fredo777: Obviously not well enough to see past yourself. Ass.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      So, Doug admits to being a gay, Mormon, Prop 8 supporter.

      Wow. Had he been a Jew in the 1930s I’ll just bet he would have voted for Hitler too!

      Not only is this creep a self-confessed Benedict Arnold, he has the temerity, nay, chutzpah to stand on the sidelines and ridicule his fellow gays as he laughs at them.

      You are truly despicable and I despise you for several reasons.

      Fistly, because you have the balls to call yourself gay.

      Secondly because you are a Mormon who obviously stands for the destruction of the human spirit and stripping people of their dignity.

      And lastly, because you voted the rights of your fellow gays away with obvious delight.

      Crawl back into the hole you came out of, you bag of shit.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      @fredo777. How do douche bags like Doug find their way onto gay blogs like this?

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Charles J. Mueller: Ouch that really hurt. Is that the best you could come with? I am gay and proud.. LOL…I sit and laugh at fellow gays because i don’t see any progress in the ‘fight’ that you all are trying to win. It was won at the ballots… you were too slow to catch up… It’s in the courts right now.. and rather than go there you are still trying to lash out at the people that voted yes on 8… I think your gonna miss the bus again… just like idiot fags. Quick to jump into bed, slow to do what’s right to fight for your so called ‘civil rights’.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Charles J. Mueller: Awe stop, you awe hewrting my feewings….

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Trenton

      I’ll bet Doug can spell “troll.” And that’s all that is worth saying about that.

      And as for the people who can do nothing but criticize the ideas that ARE being put forth (at the risk of repeating what others have said) try taking some other approach besides complaining “What a pointless, ineffective wase of time and energy.” It’s better than nothing, and if you were so convinced that there is a better way of doing things you should be excited to know that people are willing to volunteer their time and energy and find ways of chanelling taht yourself. Don’t have any ideas? No one is asking you to provide a perfect plan of action, either, but making suggestions and forming a dialog is a touch better than spewing acid on those ‘poor, naive souls who can’t think of anything better to do’. Save that ire for the people who really deserve it.

      Such as Doug. But only face to face, because arguing with his ilk on the internet is the only true waste of time and energy here.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      “Just like idiot fags.”

      Yep. He’s gay and proud alright. No doubt about it, folks.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      You’re right, Trenton. Arguing with a twoll on the Internet is a waste of time and energy.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Trenton: Ok that didn’t make any sense at all. So where in my initial comment did you not get the alternative more “EFFECTIVE” solution that I was offering up? As you can see I am on the fence because i will not stand with a group of fools. I can go either way, happy with my civil union or happy with a gay marriage. As for the way I voted, I was asked to vote according to my belief which is in the sanctity of marriage between man and a woman. Hence, I am happy with my civil union. Name calling and what not doesn’t lead anywhere but hate on hate crime. I am open to discussion with anybody about my church, my sexual preference, as well as my stance on prop 8. I am at Circus night club every Tuesday and Friday like any other devout homosexuals. lol. And Sometimes Arena on Sat. As for your troll comment, I don’t think me being 6’3, 195lbs, and 28 years old qualifies me to fall in that category…

      Nov 20, 2008 at 12:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug


      Nov 20, 2008 at 1:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bruno

      @Charles J. Mueller:


      Nov 20, 2008 at 1:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      From Wikipedia:

      “Do not feed the trolls” and its abbreviation DNFTT redirect here. For the Wikipedia essay, see “What is a troll?”. For other uses see Troll (disambiguation).

      An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]

      Also from Wikipedia:

      A troll is a fearsome member of a race of creatures from Norse mythology. Originally more or less the Nordic equivalents of giants, although often smaller in size, the different depictions have come to range from the fiendish giants – similar to the ogres of England (also called Trolls at times, see Troller’s Gill)

      Well, it certainly looks like Doug fits the bill…on both counts!

      He did say he was 6’3″ and 195 lbs., didn’t he?

      Nov 20, 2008 at 1:25 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777


      “Obviously not well enough to see past yourself. Ass.”


      Whatever, slick.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 1:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Charles J. Mueller: Great tactic, using internet reference to try to prove your point, the number one most infiltrated, corrupt, compromised resource used in the world today. Try reading a dictionary or encyclopedia where the words are invented. :-)

      Nov 20, 2008 at 2:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Doug: aren’t

      Nov 20, 2008 at 2:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Doug

      @Charles J. Mueller: I pride myself in not participating in the fag drama that goes around town. My friends all know I am not about the drama but about the facts and an easy fact based solution to the issues at hand. Of course I subscribe to queerty, it’s my fave website. But all dis buzz about prop 8 and all the stupidity I see flying around the whole website with protests, intimidation, singling out little old conservative ladies isn’t what got us this far. I repeat myself when I say my beliefs are different and I still can respect myself for that as well as my friends for their beliefs. My partner also has the same beliefs as I do having been raised mormon as well, however he didn’t vote which shows he doesn’t feel as strongly as either side does on prop 8. I don’t troll the internet looking for fights, I am just sick and tired of reading blogs from my favorite site talking about all these stupid attempts to get attention because our ‘gay civil rights’ have been taken from us. Like I said before, too late at the polls and your about to miss the bus with congress if you don’t act right and right now.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 2:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KC

      Aren’t we more creative than this? We’ve hijacked the immigration right’s 24/hour protest. This “day without a gay” is ill fitting (discussion over the awkward name can point to our community’s discomfort over the fit). One size does not fit all. It made sense for the immigration movement because it was about LABOR. Our Right to marry has nothing to do with Labor or Money. As Olbermann’s now infamous clip states “it’s about the HEART”.

      We need to figure out an ORIGINAL way to demonstrate and appeal to our oppositions Hearts. Does anyone have any ideas?

      Nov 20, 2008 at 3:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • michael

      @fredo777: Very good! You beat him with your whit as well! We will overcome all this because we are brighter than they are!

      Nov 20, 2008 at 4:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777


      ; )

      Nov 20, 2008 at 5:21 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Captain Jack Harkness

      KC: I’m glad you asked!

      Marching, chanting and holding signs are respected and venerable means of protest, but I wonder if it’s the best we can do. This massive, diverse group of people, connected to each other through digital wires. We could do anything. Marches and boycotts are great, but aren’t they a little… last century?

      Here are some ideas around fun, visibility, flash-mob technology, and interacting with the intended audience face to face. They require little money or organisational prowess: you don’t need anyone’s permission to start a protest. Just do it.

      Coming out. This is dead simple, you don’t even need signs, just a group of people. Agree to go where people gather, like a shopping mall. Don’t gather or meet up and move in one big clump, mix in with the shopper crowd. At the agreed time, start coming out to people. Go up to them, and say: “Hello madam, my name is Joe Bloggs, and I’m gay.” “Hello, we’re Adam and Steve and we’re married.” Shake their hand. Go to the next person. Introduce yourself to them. Don’t get drawn into a discussion. Don’t have a shouting match. If they get angry, just let them be. Keep it up for maybe 20 minutes or so. Have a meet up afterwards in a bar or something.

      Kiss in. Similar, but a little more confrontational. The point of this is to expose as many eyeballs as possible to the horrifying sight of people kissing. Take a hint from psychology: the way to treat phobias is exposure to the object of fear. So treat the homophobia of your neighbours by exposing them to your love. Stick together for safety and support. Get a small group of couples and go to a shopping mall or some other place where children and parents go. Spread out. Don’t let on to what you’re doing, the surprise is half the fun. At the pre-agreed time, turn to each other and kiss. Don’t cross the line into lewd behaviour. Bring some friends with cameras to get people’s reactions. Don’t let it last more than a minute. Leave. Put the results up on YouTube.

      Street preachers. Anyone can stand at a street corner and preach the Gospel or whatever, right? So why don’t the gays stand on street corners and preach the gay? Make up a bogus religion that preaches the spiritual benefits of homosexuality (see Plato). Have a stooge show up if you gather a crowd so you can stage a conversion. Be visible. Be funny. Make people notice you’re there, and you’re gay, and the “recruitment” argument is redinculous.

      For all these kinds of actions, you can prepare some fliers or cards, stating your position and the reason for your protest in a few bullet points. The haters would like nothing better than for all the queer people to go back home, do their jobs, and be invisible like usual. Remind them we’re still here. Daily.

      This post was brought to you by Captain Jack and is free of any copyright restrictions. Steal, adjust, repost, use, and do it. For the love of love, DO IT.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 7:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Al Benson

      I think that in today’s uncertain economy, calling for some sort of general Gay strike /economic boycott by gays seems destined to not succeeded. There is also the question of the Gay people who need their jobs and need the income from that day. Asking them to take, in some cases a 20% loss in income is both unfair and insures that many wont participate and the outcome will not be good.

      I don’t like this idea.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 8:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Anthony in Nashville

      Can you get paid for being a troll? I am seeing a lot of anti-gay comments on Queerty and other gay sites.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 10:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lyssa

      Day without a gay.

      Hmm…sounds like Paradise if you are trans or Latina.

      Of course, being both, it sounds like heaven.
      How about “World without Gays” A planet without gays and their racism, transhate, and general selfishness. A world with one less hateful population for minorities to have to worry about.

      A world where transfolk can speak and be heard, instead of be appropriated and used by gays for gay only special rights.

      Imagine the possibilities of a world where gays rights activists are no longer around to act like Elizabeth Birch and Barney Frank towards transpeople.

      And lets not forget lesbian transhaters Julie Bindel, Janice aymond, Germaine Greer, etc etc etc.

      A Day without a Gay? Fine by me. Make mine a double.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 10:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sdandy

      Whether you do it on that specified day or not isn’t the point exactly. If a bunch of people do it on that day, there is a better chance of the media grabbing it and talking about it.

      But more broadly this is a way to engage in other aspects and areas of the communities we live and work in. By locally being active, giving, happy, visible, charitable we will show that we are just like everyone else. Humans.

      This is the type of ‘outreach’ and ‘advertising’ that we need to do. It is going to be a very slow process to expose our humanity to people who voted out of fear and ignorance. If they don’t know or see gay people in their community, do you expect them to think about gay rights? We need to do it a few people at a time.

      I hope to be able to take the day off to volunteer on Dec 10. But I also plan on continuing to volunteer locally and make it a point to mention why and who I am. Its actually a brilliant way to interact with people outside of your normal social circle while almost guaranteeing projecting a positive image.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 10:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Leland Frances

      I’ve slept on it….and it’s still the most ill-conceived, juvenile idea wrapped around “doing good” that I’ve ever heard. It will FAIL miserably, but hopefully not publicly. We don’t WANT the media to pay attention to this one because the headline would read: “The Gays Called A Demonstration & Nobody Came.”

      Seriously, I’m beginning to wonder if this Amy Lesby Anne in Seattle who fanned the flames of “Join the Impact” is suffering from a terminal case of impacted bowels and constipated thinking. Or is she, in fact, a variation of what we used to call an agent provocateur. Not really gay at all but one of THEM coming up with ideas that only cause us to waste our time and embarrass ourselves when we could be doing something that WOULD actually involve a lot of visible people that the media could report on rather than this idea where we’re DISappearing from work.

      In addition, from what I’ve seen in person, much of the large crowds showing up for the anti H8TE demos, including Impact, were college kids. Who are THEY going to call in “gay”?

      And for those of us who have actual jobs in the non-touchy-feely real world [Ms. Amy allegedy works at “optimizing Websites”], calling in anything other than sick is considered “job abandonment.” Ya better ask for and get an actual “vacation/personal day” if you don’t want to get canned.

      Finally, why do we have to PROVE that we’re a people GOOD ENOUGH to DESERVE equal rights? Yes, educating voters that we’re not some kind of “outlaw” by being sick, evil, dangerous is a part of the process but the Constitution doesn’t mention a “goodness prerequisite.”

      Nov 20, 2008 at 11:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ray

      @Nate: $80 a day?! are you a babysitter? ;)

      Nov 20, 2008 at 1:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • waffle twat

      @lyssa: Naturally, it’s the gays who’ve been oppressing the trans community this whole time. Straight people are just itching to throw rose petals at yer feet, am I right? Thanks for enlightening us.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 2:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • KC

      Captain Jack! BINGO! That’s exactly how we should be thinking! I like the “Kiss in” idea…perhaps on Valentines day?

      Or what if we commit to a peaceful passive Hands across California…where one or two gay couples go to as many churches as possible and just hold hands at the church entrance. No words….just the expression of love or companionship. They need to see us OUTSIDE the context of a parade (protest or pride).

      Nov 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ZeeLee

      @Leland Frances
      Well, it is for a good cause, I guess. If you guys can get enough people maybe the press wouldn’t focus on it.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 3:21 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      @waffle twat and Lyssa: I am so saddened when I hear members of the gay community make comments that cause pain and create feelings of alienation to Lyssa and other members of the trans community. Obviously, they do not speak for the entire gay community and are an embarrassment to the rest of us.

      Discrimination, in any form, including discrimination from other minority groups is just downright wrong and should not be have to be tolerated by other minority groups.

      When the rights of any one person or minority group are threatened, then the rights of all people are threatened and that is the reason why we must all band together in solidarity to make that point obvious to all who would vote our rights away at the ballot box as just happened.

      I can understand the disappointment Lyssa feels with the gay community when we make comments like “this is not our fight”, “Let them start their own rights organization” and similar negative comments that I have read on gay blogs like Queerty, Gay.com, etc.

      It’s very much akin to the let-down feeling we gays are experiencing after learning that close to 70 percent of the black community voted yes on Proposition 8 in California.

      But, to come to an erroneous conclusion that it’s the blacks who’ve been oppressing the gay community this whole time, would be just as wrong and futile as assuming that straight people are just itching to throw rose rose petals at our feet as well.

      Don’t give up the good fight, Lyssa. There are many gays who understand discrimination and feel your pain as well as our own. We majority of gays are with with you, not ‘agin ya.

      And thank you, Waffle Twat, for a post that sets the record straight and lets people know that assholes, like lollypops, come in all sizes, shapes, colors…and flavors…including gay ones.

      Nov 20, 2008 at 3:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael vdB

      hehe…Japhy said, “cockles”

      Seriously though (*snicker*), WTF? Unless you live and work primarly in a gay ghetto, I don’t see this working right accross the USA. I don’t get Starbucks were I live anyways (note sade wailing and sobbing in the background).

      But I say prove me wrong people. PROVE ME WRONG!

      Nov 21, 2008 at 12:15 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • waffle twat

      @Charles J. Mueller: Oh, she pitches a fit and I’m the asshole. “lol” right back at you with your fancy middle initial. I got your middle initial right here! It’s a finger.

      Nov 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Charles J. Mueller

      @Waffle Twat: Umm….I think you misunderstood me. My post, I thought, was sympathetic and supportive to the both of you. Didn’t you read the rest of it?

      My comment about assholes was directed at those who voted for Proposition 8, black, straight and gay.

      I NEVER said that you were an asshole or wished to intimate that you were and I am really sorry that you took it that way.

      Nov 22, 2008 at 12:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lol

      “Call in gay”

      That’s fucking hilarious

      Dec 9, 2008 at 12:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • LJ

      This whole idea is stupid. Seriously. There are a couple of gay men at my work and I will tell you right now that we straight folk could care less if they “call in gay”. What is wrong with you people? Why the hell would anyone not work, with the economy as it is and the need to make every paycheck count, and instead, choose to sit at home and sulk because you fucking lost in the election!

      And what really has me LOLing with disgust is that you want to “stop the H8” yet are “H8″fully making an attempt to make everyone else suffer tomorrow as a result of your actions in a last-ditch effort to hopefully impact the economy in some way. Truly truly weak. The gays lost on Nov. 4 because they have no fucking argument and choose instead to whine and cry about…everything. This “movement” or “cause” is a fine example of that. Go to work like the rest of us and shut the fuck up if you want to gain “equality”.

      Dec 10, 2008 at 2:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EB


      Dec 10, 2008 at 8:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darcy Swift

      Today is “International Human Rights Day”…why then are we trying to monopolize on one faction of inequality? We fight so hard to be like everyone else why can we not recognize that the good fight draws no distinction in the matter of injustice? The harder we try to separate ourselves, to elevate our “cause” the more we stand divided.
      So we call in “gay” and donate our time to a worthy cause…once again seeing as this is “International HUMAN RIGHTS day” why don’t all women, minorities, the disenfranchised, the poor, the disabled call in? Let’s see what kind of day we’ll have then! That is the point isn’t it? Unity?
      Why are we not accepted into this so called “cohesive community” we call society? Because we try to make our plight sound worse than others!
      Now let’s not start self-hating, we all do it. The women, the minorities, the poor…we all bitch and moan (many for very valid and sound reasons)and I ask, “Where the hell is it getting us?”
      We have made advancements, we are continuing to make progress, but perhaps we might move along a bit faster if we actually united-as people, as humans…This is not High School! It is time to set aside our cliques and join forces to battle this amorphous and often eluding creature we call injustice.
      How? By calling in and telling our boss that we will donating our time to a worthy cause. Which cause is not important. What’s important is that there are people out there who need help, so we will take the day and help them.

      Dec 10, 2008 at 8:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David

      How about 365 days without a gay….that would work better for me

      Dec 10, 2008 at 1:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jeff

      Disclosure: Not-gay.
      Not such a good idea (the “Blue-flu” never works out as well as intended either). Hate the name! I thought it was a homophobic call to I-can’t-imagine-what to gays for a day. Oh No!

      Dec 10, 2008 at 3:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Darcy Swift

      @David: I suspect 365 days without you would be equally refreshing. Don’t take offense I’m just a humble utilitarian.

      Dec 11, 2008 at 6:41 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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