We don’t take the time to read Dear Abby on a regular basis. We normally prefer to dispense advice and not receive it.

But this Abby entry we stumbled upon made us realize how clueless some poor people can be.

We present to you “Chaotic in Dallas" who, confused, writes to ask Abby if she thinks her (male) best friend might prefer either bush or penis:

As close as I am to him, I can't tell one way or the other. His mannerisms are effeminate, he doesn't involve himself with women, he loves to shop with me and his mother, his taste is exquisite — among other stereotypical "signs."

Is the oblivious Chaotic a fag hag? You betcha.

We’re not interested in asking "Chaotic" if the nickname she has given herself was inspired by Britney’s reality show. No, what we would like to know is if she’s just one naïve person among a sea of savvy Dear Abby readers with fully functioning gaydar.

Doesn’t appear to be. More evidence here and here.