Everyone, listen up!

This is a warning: if you see a lactating Demi Moore coming your way, you must either run or prepare to get wet.

Christopher Ciccone, brother of Madonna and lover of the media teet, claims the acclaimed actress once shot her breast milk at him and his lesbian friends at a party.

His lawyers, however, wouldn't let him include that unverifiable (bullshit?) tale in his recent tell-all:

There are certain stories that don't end the way that they end in the book. ItÂ’s not really family stuff. ItÂ’s more like – well thereÂ’s a bit in the book about Demi Moore and I dancing on the bar.

SheÂ’'s dancing up on me and humping me from behind. The one part thatÂ’s not in the book is that she was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends.

"My friend Michelle called me the next morning and asked me, “How do I get breast milk out of my black dress?” and I said “How the fuck would I know? Call Demi.'

"It was hysterical. There are no pictures of it, but it actually happened. The lawyers didn't think it was wise for me to print that — so there'Â’s your juicy tidbit.

Hmmm, it's a bit more creamy, than juicy, but it sure quenches our thirst!