Society doesn’t so much as bat an eye when a man — say in his 30s — shows interest in a woman in her early to mid 20s. It’s almost expected that he’ll find a younger woman sexy.
But is there a double standard in the gay community?
The Right has consistently tried to label gay men as deviants, predators, or even pedophiles. Is it possible that some have become overly sensitive in an effort to dispel those horrible accusations?
We got to thinking about this after we came across a Reddit thread in which a gay man in his 30s confesses to debilitating shame because of where his sexual attractions fall.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
In his post titled “Is a (older) bear into twinks ‘disgusting?'”, user brtw82 writes, “I know all the mantras. People have preferences, age is just a number and so on. However, I constantly feel like I’m judged and I’ve started to think they are right. Maybe someone in his 30s with a bear look into young looking guys is really disgusting.”
Related: Photos: Foxy Older Gentlemen Remind Us That Age Is Just A Number
He goes on to fill in some key details — he’s attracted primarily to young men in their early-mid 20s, but has met harsh criticism from both gay and straight friends/family.
“A friend told me clearly that my ‘twink fetish’ is ‘disgusting,’ I should stop ‘raping kids’ and I should see a doctor. One of my closest friends (who has two teenage sons) subtly told me that I was not welcomed anymore at his house. My mom never said anything, but she constantly asks if I have found a nice guy of my age to marry and have kids.”
And when he sought refuge in what he thought were like-minded peers, it was hardly any better.
Related: PHOTOS: Daddies & Twinks Battle For Your Affection In A Game Of “Who Would You Rather?”
“I tried to look for new friends in the gay community and I thought I found some in a gay sport team. They were guys around my age and body type (muscle otter/bear). Nice guys to hang out with, but not attractive for me. Again, the honeymoon ended when they found out about my preferences. Some were not really friends and were just trying to get in my pants, so they kept telling me that I should try a ‘real man’ (i.e. them). Others just ‘bullied’ me and told me I was pathetic, that I wanted a sugar-baby, that I had to compensate for my size and so on.”
Now he’s at his wit’s end, and is considering psychiatric help.
Many have chimed in to offer words of reassurance that there is nothing wrong with being into younger guys, so long as it’s legal and consensual.
“That is just wrong,” said one commenter. “Every time you say something like that, a young looking twink who is into bears cries alone into his pillow.”
Related: Six Pro Tips For Being The Best Daddy For Your Boy
And one young man offered this: “I’m a younger guy (24) and I have a preference for older, more experienced guys. You sound like my type, tbh 🙂 There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” adding, “it may be that the word ‘twink’ is what’s setting people off. There’s nothing wrong with saying you like younger men.”
And he might have a point — while many embrace the word ‘twink,’ it does connote ‘childish’ or ‘naive’ to others.
Either way, there is no reason brtw82 should have to experience degrading shame for being into young men — life is way too short for that.
Here’s some of the best advice he received: “Dude you’re thirty, you’re not old. You’re not doing anything a straight bachelor isn’t doing. My 24 year old sister is dating a 46 year old and no one is judging him. Your ‘friends’ sound like judgmental pricks.”
Related: Don’t Mind The (Age) Gap: Seven High Profile May/December Gay Relationships And How They Worked Out
Daveliam
Who cares? If it’s consensual and between willing adults, go for it! Personally, I find most twinks to be physically unattractive, but I’d never shame someone else for finding them attractive and I’d even go so far as to say “never say never”. Maybe there’s a twink out there that I would find attractive. Not that it matters, since I’m married to a big, bearded bear daddy. But, you know. No harm in thinking, right?
AxelDC
Old men who date younger women look ridiculous. Old men who date young men look ridiculous, too.
It’s fine to occasionally fall in love with someone of a different age, but if you are unable to date someone in your own age range, it’s means there is something wrong with you. Maybe you are afraid of growing old. Maybe you have daddy issues, or just want someone to pay your bills. Maybe you are intimidated by the accomplishments of people your own age, so you try to impress young guys with your wealth.
If it bothers you that other people judge you for your choices, then you should get over it. Maybe they are triggering your own insecurities about your dating choices.
If you are happy with whom you are dating, then tell society to screw it and move on. The only caveat is that your date should be a legal adult. Otherwise, you could go to jail.
Cielo Perdomo
20-somethings are ADULTS. There is NOTHING disgusting about that.
Rob Ridings
I’m of the mindset of “if everyone’s a legal adult and everything is consensual, what’s the problem?”.
That said, however, I also don’t think it’s very healthy to have an extremely narrow preference, and not be open to others. He really ought to try to broaden his tastes some, and at the very least attempt to discover what makes men of all ages and all body types attractive. Variety is the spice of life.
Realitycheck
While people do not choose who they fall in love, with and it does happen,
one has to seriously wonder what can a 20 and 50 years old have in common beside sex and emotional problems? It is that simple.
With some rare exceptions, there are some serious father complex and delusional desire to be young again effecting either parties in such a relationship.
A emotionally grown up person will find little beyond sex, in a very young person, even the most grown up for his age guy.
For the younger guy it is more often then not about replacing a father or security or finances.
But there are exceptions, I am not going to deny that.
Jim Seitz
Seriously? When we get older, we’re supposed to stop finding 20-somethings attractive? When I was in my twenties, the youngest guy I ever dated was 42. The guy I ended up dating the longest was 30 years my senior. Why do so many people have to get so hung up on age anyway? If the guy is past the age of jailbait, what is it anybody else’s business who I sleep with?
James Smith
His preference for younger men isn’t the issue. It’s the damn whining! If he’s over the age of 21 and is interested in you, why the hell do you care what someone else thinks? The issues isn’t age; it’s insecurity.
Cory M. Warren
I’m not a twink, but I get hit on by two types of men. The people 10 to 20 years older than my dad, who is in his early sixties, and the 40-50 year old roidheads. Not all older men it muscle heads are just looking to dominate a younger man, but I always seem to get targeted by the ones that do. You wouldn’t believe the number of times I get threatened for refusing bathroom sex.
bingoboy969
I am 46 and my boyfriend is 21 we are in love and don’t care what anyone thinks , you dont like younger guys them don’t date them ! Lol
amaurys
I’m sorry but this relationships are not equal and more over abusive. To many of our youth got into them not out of love but necessity. This young men come into our community and insted of finding support and help from older Gay men all the get is used as a sex toys. I know is not fair to expect this from older gay men compared to straight men. But we do have a heavier responsibility to our youth that straight men don’t have towards young woman.
Relationship like Dustin Lance black and Tom Daley are not cute .. This kid was just out and turn 18 with a recently dead father.. And here come Justin insted of being the youth advocate he said he was and helping … He gets into s sexual relationship with him. It might be legal but is certainly not alright.
An even in this article there is link: Six Pro Tips For Being A Good Daddy for you Boy …… seriously people.
Douglas Pickney
No I don’t see anything wrong with that as long as we’re talking consenting age. Men in their late 30,-40s you see with women in their 20s or younger. They don’t care what society thinks and neither should you. Society needs to mind their own business of what does not concern them.
SportGuy
@AxelDC: Exactly! Well stated!
Bauhaus
I’ve always been attracted to and involved with older, mature men. I find them so damn hot. When I was 18, I dated a guy in his fifties, and it was extremely rewarding for both of us. I married a man 11years older than I am. I do find some younger guys physically attractive and sexy, but I’ve never dated or been involved with one.
Derek Perron
Liking younger is fine and “Twinks” are ok if they’re mature but you’re infantilism and they’re childish and or u want them to be or act younger then it’s awkward.
JJ24
I think he should seek a therapist not because liking younger guys is a problem but because clearly he is having issues with his attraction as he keeps seeking validation from others. Plus having such a limit on who you are open to being attracted to/with is a bit of an issue too. Ultimately though as long as everyone is 18 or over and consenting I say do you.
I’m 25 and currently in a relationship with a 47 year old and ya it’s a bit tricky because of the age difference and him being my best friends dad(crazy I know) but we just work. We’re both independently financially secure, we have some of the same interest and are kind of teaching the other on interest we don’t share. Like he’s teaching me about sports and I’m teaching him to appreciate foreign films. We’re also both on the same page as far as what we want in/out of our/any relationship, which is someone to marry and have a family with. Yes he already did that but it was with a woman and now he want to do it again with someone he is in love with instead of someone he just loves.
Anyway my point is that every relationship is different and you can’t judge it because your not in it.
Realitycheck
@Cory M. Warren: May be you should write a book about it, LOL
You must have some thing that attracts that kind people, and if it is unwanted
as I think it is, it is definitely problematic.
NoCagada
Ironic when gays complain about always being judged and then…they judge their own. Not much was said when the 50 something straight male CW singer married a 16 year old female (That is age of consent in some places) so why a different standard?
I will say, however, that when somebody is 35 and gets involved with an 18 year old, I have to wonder what is there besides sex. I do know a couple (gay) who got together when one was 32 and the other was 18. Now the 32 year old is 55 and has NO attraction for the now 41 year old. They have stayed together because it’s easy and they both state that they haven’t had sex together for at least 10 years. The odd part is that the older one doesn’t want the younger one to have sex with others (though he does and lies). The older one has no sex life so he feels that should be just fine for the younger. They rarely do much of anything together and the relationship seems to be be a power struggle with a lot of lies. I have limited my contact to strictly business as their relationship is too much drama for me.
Prinny
Can’t you find a better place then Reddit to make articles about stupid subjects?
Larry Dougherty
Just love who you love
Evji108
Can we stop using the word “twink”, it’s demeaning to describe a human being as a cheaply made highly processed snack cake with sugar-cream filling. Beyond that it doesn’t really even mean anything. If you called women twinks there would be an outcry because they have some self respect.
Jesus Malverde
As a former twink, I welcomed the attention of older men. I marked an older man and we built a beautiful life together. As gay men, we are harshly judged by society at large, let’s not be so judge mental of our own community
Alvaro Ramirez
I love thick guys. No twinks for me. I like meat on my men!!!! ð???
Madeline Clark
It depends on whether you find them attractive as a person, or attractive specifically because they look like a child. These are two entirely different things here. One you just have a preference, the other makes you a pedophile. If them looking like a child is what gets you off, THATS when it’s not ok.
onthemark
There’s a creepy modern obsession with “boyfriend twins” and having a partner who’s as physically like yourself as possible. Queerty has had a lot of stories about “boyfriend twins” recently. This older guy’s judgmental “friends” seem to be caught up in this notion. I bet they’d really freak out if he was into interracial dating!
Anyway, 30s vs. 20s is not even THAT much of an age difference. 40s & over, yeah maybe that’s a problem.
@Evji108: “Twink” has been around a long time; it was common in the ’70s and is used a lot in Maupin’s “Tales of the City” books. I recall Michael “Mouse” hated being called a twink, until he turned 30, when he suddenly missed being called a twink. (Wow, Michael would be almost 70 now!) Maybe you’re right, it’s time to retire that word.
Terrence Houlihan
My first lover was 16 years older then me. He showed me “the world”. Music, art, Politics, travel…we remained IMPORTANT people in each other’s lives. Until he died in 1991. I consider myself a VERY lucky man to have been LOVED by him!!! WHO CARES what the breeders think!
Glücklich
@Jesus Malverde:
“Marked”? What’d you do? Lift your leg and piss on’im? I mean, some guys like that, but “marking”?
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Again with the similarities. Mr. Glücklich’s twelve years older than I am. I’ve just never been into people my own age.
Glücklich
@amaurys:
I don’t even know what to say. Don’t take it as a compliment.
Darryl Cummings
As long as there 18. Date away. Under that you should loose your balls.
jkb
@AxelDC: Look ridiculous to who? Speak for yourself, please. There are people who think two consenting same-sex couples look “ridiculous”, so should we consider this before pursuing what we want?
Mamba
Of course this is disgusting. If you have an obsession with only young men, there is something seriously wrong with you. There’s so many old men I know who are still single because they live in this fantasy where they think a “twink” is just gonna fall in love with them. Broaden your horizons so you won’t end up alone.
His friend was right in keeping him out of their house so as to not see their teenage sons. If he’s only into twinks, what’s to keep him from lusting over those teenagers.
Stache99
@onthemark: That’s what I was thinking too. Were only talking a 10 difference. People won’t usually bat an eye when they see that. Their different appearances might look a little funny though.
However, when you get to say 40 and beyond and your still exclusively targeting that age range then your just plain screwed up in your head. You might as well have a big neon sign over your head screaming…. “Mid Life Crisis”. I see plenty of these kind of relationships on Sunday afternoon in Weho. Their great for a laugh I have to say. I laugh at the straight one’s too.
Brian Markee
Men who are attracted to younger guys is not unusual. In fact it seems quit the norm these days. At least from my POV as a man over 50. Though I prefer the company of men my age–Who prefer the company of younger men. Oh, well. To each his own.
Michael Whiting
Whatever rocks your boat if they are both consenting adults.
Chord Savage
he need to not tell them he into Twinks. I stop care many year ago what think of me.
Stache99
@Brian Markee:I hope your friends at least have a nice fat bank account. Usually a necessary ingredient when your chasing twinks in your later years.
moldisdelicious
One thing I notice about a good number of gay men is that they basically make their own lives harder making issues out of nothing where it deters their chance to live a happy productive life. This is an example. Why does he care about what other people think if the person he is with is of age and consenting? He was brave enough to come out the closet despite facing opposition from others so why not apply the same attitude here.
HappilyMarried
My husband is 27 and I’m 48. We’ve been together for seven years. Say whatever you want to say. I don’t care anymore, but when we first started dating, I actually lied about his age to my family and friends because I didn’t want to hear the criticism. These days we get a little flack, but only from people that don’t know us and I don’t really give a rat’s ass about their opinions. Our relationship is based on love, honor and mutual respect and our families support us.
barkomatic
Gay men are some of the most nasty, judgmental people I know and often are dealing with many insecurities that cause them to lash out at others who display preferences that they wish they could be open about.
I know a gay couple who claimed they were only attracted to men their age (mid 40’s) and criticized guys who liked younger. Not more than 6 months later they got a young man who joins them on expensive trips and lives at their house.
Amaurys Arias
Sorry, but lets get real .. Most of This relationships are far from ok. Too many are unequal an plainly abusive. A lot of this kids get into them not out of love but necessity.
I know is not fair but LGBT men have a bigger responsibility towards our youth then straight people do. a lot of This kids come into our community an instead of finding help and support they get treated like a Sex Toy.
This whole daddy son thing is not cute its just creepy.
Aromaeus
Obviously if they are of legal age there is nothing inherently wrong with it.
That being said I always wonder what in the hell men with such a big age gap have in common? I mean if you are in your 40s you are most likely have a career, your own place, car, pay your own bills, etc. I can’t imagine many 18 year olds or honestly any young 20 somethings being that self-sufficient. There are definitely people who are doing it but I think those are the exception not the rule. It comes off a bit…predatory when there is such a power imbalance but as long as no one is being coerced I guess it’s fine.
I also find it odd that he’s “exclusively” attracted to younger men. I mean who did he date when he was their age? I have a type myself but I’ve dated many guys who were nothing like my type and most of them were good guys. I think the fact that he’s limiting himself so much might be a sign of a problem.
Clark35
Twinks are gross and yeah it is creepy when guys who are a lot older are obsessed with them or men who are say 18-23. Older “Men” who claim to “Exclusively” be attracted to younger men only who are ages 18-early 30s are immature and a partner who is their own age or close to their own age would laugh them straight out of bed or avoid having a “relationship” with them since they’re immature.
Henry Benavidez
I donâ??t see a problem with someone dating a younger or older person. I think it is a preference. I do however have a problem with people who pick up on a kid they have seen grow up most their life and once they hit 18 they are all over them. I think that is disgusting. I just cut ties with friends whom are a couple because their behavior was just creepy in my opinion. I was over one day and I noticed the neighbor kid had grown so fast since the time I knew them. I mentioned it saying wow I canâ??t believe so and so has grown up so fast and their comment was something to the tone of he is looking delicious. How can you have that attitude when this kid has looked up to you like family basically? On another occasion they took my friendâ??s son who just turned 18 home from a party I had. I got calls about it the next day. I just have a hard time with people who are supposed to be mentors, friends or family taking advantage of being in trusted circles and pulling stuff like that. Other than that I have never taken issue with those who date people younger or older than themselves.
Amaurys Arias
Sorry, I find this men creepy…Gay or Straight.
Take a relationship like Dustin Lance Blacks and Tom Delay.. Here is almost 40y/o self professed youth advocate, Picking up some barely legal, just out.. Father just dead, 18 y/o at the kids choice awards. and so many people thinks they are cute.
When he made his speech at the oscars and said: “You are beautiful creatures of value and God loves you”… He should had added: and I will F#%k you.
This kids should be allowed to explored their sexuality with people their own age. Without the baggage of a grown man expectation.
And no you are not teaching them anything by having sex with them.. You want to teach them something: TALK TO THEM.
BigG
I think it’s a problem when you cannot fall in love with somebody or connect with somebody around your own age. that means you’re not comfortable in your skin or age. trust me once that young guy starts to age your older boyfriend will dump you or the younger guy will leave you for somebody else there’s too much of an age gap. It never works out long term. you see older men can only get it up for young guys. when the young guy gets older he will kick you to the curb .don’t think he wont because you will no longer be that young attractive person that he is so into.
John P Farinhas
wish i was a twink
Stache99
@barkomatic: That makes so much sense. Nailed it dude. Everyone is just jealous because they can’t find a youngster that wants them so they’ll criticize others in the meantime that have happily found kids to play with.
Brtw82
As my username suggests, I’m the guy who wrote on Reddit. So, few things:
– I don’t like “baby twinks” or guys who look like kids. They can be cute, but also a kitten is cute. I used the word twink to give an idea. I like guys who are not hairy and look like they are in their early/mid-20s.
– I’m not “exclusively” attracted to older men. I’m attracted to men who look younger. Sorry for the stereotype, but I have a Korean colleague who is 30 and I think he is very hot.
– I’m probably an insecure man. I came out quite late and I had body image issues. Having a younger partner maybe gives me the feeling of being not a loser.
– I’m a man child. I had a very protective family, spent my 20s in school and I work with a bunch of guys like me. I’m 33 but I have a roommate (a colleague), I like videogames, I spend a lot of money on “toys” and so on. I feel much closer to many 20something guys than to many 30something ones.
– Before coming out at 28, I was nearly a virgin. When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I was not dating anyone. I was mainly attracted to fit athletic guys a bit older than me (think soccer players).
Stache99
@BigG: That’s why I tell them. Get every dime you can out of them through education or just get everything in your name before that day happens. It’s called having a shelf life. Think of Nick Gruber and CK.
Brtw82
@Brtw82:
I meant “I’m not exclusively attracted to younger men”
Clark35
@Stache99: Not everyone wants someone younger. I’m in my early 30s, bisexual, and I prefer women and men who are my age give or take a year or two as we have a lot more in common. I would not get involved with someone older, or even someone who is in 18-mid 20s as we would have little in common.
Billy Budd
I enjoy the company of twinks and hunks indifferently. I see beauty in both types. The twink arouses my paternal instinct. I want to take care of them and teach them things.
Lvng1Tor
UMN….where the F@ck does this guy live that he’s facing SO MUCH extreme negativity to finding someone within 10/15yrs and legally an adult attractive?
Something isn’t ringing true with this…Really…a friend with teen sons won’t let him come over anymore? What kind of prudes does he hang with or do his tastes truly run much younger and he has to settle for guys in their 20’s?
I’ve seen guys who are into younger dudes get teased by their friends or warned that he’s setting himself up for failure because he may or may not be more attracted to an age and not a person…but the bile this man claims to be getting? If it’s true and he is into dudes apx 10-15yrs younger who are legal and his friends are this awful then tell em to F’off…but there seems to be more to this than he’s telling….or maybe he’s setting it up so twinks will be crawling all over him…something is not right
JJ24
@Amaurys Arias:
OMG Yes, on the daddy son thing it is creepy. And this is coming from a guy that is 25 and dating a 47 year old guy. I would never call him “daddy”, I already have a dad and don’t want or need another plus he would not like it(he had issues at first with our age difference). I will never understand how that is a turn on for someone unless they have daddy issues.
Clark35
Brtw82-Do you have a picture of yourself?
youarekiddingme
@Mamba:
Did you really mean to say, “Of course this is disgusting”…referring to an older man being attracted exclusively to younger guys? Really? I mean we all have attractions that may not be “appealing” to others but because they’re not, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are disgusting now does it? Some guys may be attracted to guys with piercings, tattoos, or body mods…etc. All particular types of guys (hopefully all 18 and over) so what’s the problem? I’m not particularly turned on by those things but hey–I’m not disgusted by them either! People are funny. We don’t have to have sex with every “body type/age/sex” to know what turns us on. We just know what does.
I met a guy when I was 30 and he was 19. Hit it off great. That was 24 YEARS AGO! We’re married now.
I have seen lots of diversity in the community over time. Lots of things I didn’t understand at first. Try not to judge. I remember what it was like to be judged (just for being gay)…then putting up with the shit about dating a kid. We as a community are so very quick to bust somebody’s balls for being different, yet look at all of us…Different!
Jcr003
@Mamba: The only thing I find disgusting is you and your comment!
“His friend was right in keeping him out of their house so as to not see their teenage sons. If he’s only into twinks, what’s to keep him from lusting over those teenagers.”
I am seriously floored by your ignorance! There is no way his friend would abstain from having straight male friends if he had daughters. For you to assume that Brtw82 would do ANYTHING to his “so-called” friend’s children is ignorant homophobia and continues to perpetuate the pedophilia stereotype in the LGBT community. You’re the one with the issue Mamba, not Brtw82!
Jean-Claude Poulin
Gay men have been called predators and child molesters for 100 year so of course they are paranoid. Actually studies have shown that it is biological for males to be attracted y to younger people. I don’t mean very young I mean younger than they are. It has to do with the psycologocal biolgical process of choosing a younger mate to insure a healthy offspring in that the human brain automatically assumes that a younger woman will produce better off spring. In the homosexual the psycological pattern is still intact but the attraction is to ther males. No problem, its just natural . Now as for the annoying pedophile accusations studies have also shown beyond a shadow of a doubt that 85% of the child molestation occurs male to female therefore its the straight guys they have to look out for more so than men who identify as gay. But alas if you all notice that the press always identifies a male that has molested a male child as homosexual yet when a male molests a little girl they just call him a pedophile with no sexual prefference identification..
Clark35
@Billy Budd: Do you teach them how to smoke meth and take cum up their ass? Or do they already know that once you get with them?
@Mamba:I agree that it is pretty creepy that this guy is obsessed with twinks, and that his friend who has teenage sons noticed that he was sexually attracted to his kids.
Clark35
@Stache99: I’m not surprised you know lots of whores or men who are “kept” which is just another name for being a whore.
Kieran
At this rate he’ll probably jump off a bridge when he hits 50. Pathology.
Jcr003
@Clark35: Did I miss something? you said ” his friend who has teenage sons NOTICED that he was sexually attracted to his kids.” Where did you get that from? Seems to me like an ignorant assumption? Where did the friend “notice” he was attracted to his kids?
youarekiddingme
@Jcr003:
Thanks for addressing that part of his post. Just getting to it, when you handled it. Quite well, I might add!!
Brtw82
@Lvng1Tor:
Maybe I had shitty friends. I may sound sexist, but the large majority of my friends were women and some women can very prude even if progressive. The two harshest responses I reported were from two of my girl friends. In my original post, I specify that my mother is mainly worried about my relationship future and father has nothing against me dating younger men.
So, the tone was not everywhere apocalyptic, but way more than I expected.
The gay friends were probably shitty. Many of them, honestly, were just interested in getting into my pants.
Based on the comments, I guess I’m just bad at choosing friends.
SylG73
@Rob Ridings: That’s an awesome suggestion. Everyone should date guys they’re not interested in just to make sure. (rolls eyes)
SylG73
@Amaurys Arias: And that’s fine. That’s your opinion based on your own personal issues. That doesn’t make any of it fact or correct. The point is there is a double-standard for gay men and straight men.
youarekiddingme
@Clark35:
Wait a second…you said,”…this guy is obsessed with twinks and that his friend who has teenage sons noticed that he was sexually attracted to his kids”.
When the actual article says, “One of my closest friends (who has two teenage sons) subtly told me that I was not welcomed anymore at his house.”
Reading a little into the article are we?? Changing the words completely? Saying that the guy was sexually attracted to the kids…sicko!! WTF?
Please…get your facts straight before you insert your foot in your mouth and make stupid statements like the one above!
Joe Eugene
I’m 66. There are more 20-somethings into me than there are 50-somethings. A lot of younger guys like older, so why is the reverse a problem? Why is any consenting relationship a problem to anybody outside the relationship?
Stache99
@Billy Budd: Please. Everyone here already knows your “younger the better” attractions. Don’t try to dress it up into something noble.
Brtw82
@youarekiddingme:
He made up that sentence. I was not minimally interested in her (my friend was a woman, my mistake in the post) kids. I’m not so sick!
Billy Budd
@Clark35: I don’t understand your lack of civility. I have never had sex with any person younger than 18 years old, even though the law in my country allows me to do such a thing. I don’t feel attracted to kids, only to young men.
Billy Budd
@Stache99: I don’t understand your lack of civility. I have never had sex with any person younger than 18 years old, even though the law in my country allows me to do such a thing. I don’t feel attracted to kids, only to young men..
amaurys
@SylG73: no personal issues .. just a youth advocate that see the effects of this relationships on young people. Sadly I you are a gay man you don’t even need studies to know what I said is true. … And about the double standard .. That’s not necessarily true a 40 y/o man with a 18 girl is considered to be just as creepy. We do have a a false pedophile stereotype.. You have a lot of middle age men some in this forums defending being with 18 y/0 .. It might be legal but it definitely no alright. Didn’t the Liberace movie teach you anything.. Bad joke. But an ugly exemple if how didfunctional this relationship can get.
McShane
@Brtw82: If you like younger gay guys, then you like younger gay guys. As long as you’re honest and safe, I don’t see the big deal. My only problem is how someone could not be attracted to bears, I literally cannot wrap my mind around that nugget. But, I would much rather chew my own foot off rather than have sex with a 20 year old twink. Tomato, tomahto I guess.
“Now he’s at his wit’s end, and is considering psychiatric help.”
That’s what this article says, so I’m not trying to put words in your mouth. If you really feel like you need to speak to a professional about your body issues, or being conflicted about the age range that you find sexually attractive, go for it. If you have the resources and the time, it might help? Everyone needs a little help getting back on their feet when they feel knocked down. You’re not disgusting. Good luck.
Glücklich
@Billy Budd:
Is there a term for a reverse paternal instinct, where the younger guy spoils and takes care of the older one? That’s what I’ve got going on. I’m the younger one who makes all the money and I LOVE to spoil my husband. Nothing makes me happier than knowing I’m making his life easier.
Steven Larrabee
If the guy’s of legal age, 18, who cares? Get over it.
Merv
I’m 92 and my boyfriend is 18. Oh, that’s months, not years. Some people think it’s creepy, but it works for us. We actually have a lot in common. If I run out of Depends I can use his diapers. Is there anything more romantic?
jwtraveler
Gay people live in a world where we are judged very harshly for our sexual romantic interests. Most gay people demand and expect the right to live our lives as we see fit. This man is interested in younger consenting adults. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. For any gay person to think otherwise is H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-S-Y!!!!!!!!!
Glücklich
@McShane:
“…I would much rather chew my own foot off rather than have sex with a 20 year old twink.”
Holla!
I like me a GROWN. ASS. MAN.
Meaty. Furry. Seasoned.
Glücklich
@Merv:
You can both eat the same food, too! And have nap time together!
martinbakman
Whisper!!
Timothy Herbert
bears and twinks, daddys and bois, jocks and nerds.
If he’s old enough to sit with you in the bar then haters be damned…
Stache99
@Merv: Cool. You could use your partner to get access to some hot A list Hollywood parties. I’m thinking Brian Singer. When I say party I mean the after party if you know what I mean.
jwtraveler
http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-men-who-married-much-younger-women/celebrity-lists?page=3
Stache99
@Joe Eugene: There’s no problem in that Joe. Now if the thought of getting with those young uns is the only thing that gets you excited or you’re using them to feel like you’ve still got it then yes it is.
I think Brtw82 will eventually out grow his twink fantasy. I too was into really young guys exclusively when I was in my 30’s. Therefore, I can relate some. However, with maturity I’ve changed. Thank god I’m no longer into twinks. It would look ridiculous. Today I need a hot masculine man I can relate to to get me going.
Stache99
@jwtraveler: Straight or gay we still laugh though. This is more a rich mans game though. Do you think any of those women would be standing next to grandpa like that if they lost their money? Normal middle class people generally still only fall within a decade at most of each other.
We have our very own Peter Pans. David Geffen, Calvin Klien, Brian Singer, etc.
Will Moor
I don’t have a problem at ALL with older guys who date younger as long as that is not what they are *exclusively* attracted to, I guess what I don’t understand are older guys who *exclusively* date younger and find themselves absolutely unable to be attracted to someone over 24, because how can any stable relationship come from that? Once your boyfriend turns 25 are you going to break up with him and go on to the next younger man, and will you keep doing this til you are 80? That is where I don’t get it. But if you are an older guy who doesn’t box yourself into a teeny tiny age range and you happen to fall genuinely in love with a younger legally adult guy and he with you, then that is beautiful and should be supported.
And I am not saying that this guy should be vilified. I mean as long as its two consenting adults its none of our business. But I just don’t get it, myself. It seems to be motivated by something that goes beyond simple preference. Its one thing to like slender men, its another thing to like slender men and insist they HAVE to be between the ages of 20 to 24.
coffeeaugur
I’ve always found it sort of perverted, even when I was young and went out with a couple older men. I think back and think, ugh, what was I thinking. You would think older men would be wise and caring and realize they are robbing someone of their youth, or taking advantage of someone youth and naivety. Unfortunately, some choose to be selfish and satisfy their own desires above those of others. Sure I’ve met several long term autumn spring relationships. It sort of like a kid living with their parent all there life. They don’t really get out to experience life. But just like the child that grows up and rebels against their parent to fly and go out on their own, many times the relationship doesn’t last and the older guy is to fend alone, with the younger guy coming back for visits from time to time to see their aging parent. The good that does come out of it, is that usually the younger one will come out smarter and wiser. But really if they are both consenting adults, it’s their business and their choice. The same goes for cougars with younger men and older men with younger women.
Malcolm Andrew Grenfell-walford
It is a bit strange to fancy younger guys I. E twinks when ur a bear
Ogre Magi
@Lvng1Tor: I have a hard time believing that that many people have given him that much crap about it
Jesse Coronado
JerMykel me for real.
Will Moor
@coffeeaugur: “You would think older men would be wise and caring and realize they are robbing someone of their youth, or taking advantage of someone youth and naivety.”
ROFL now YOU are over reacting. An adult is an adult, you can’t “rob” an adult of their youth by giving them the sex that they want. LOL
Will Moor
@coffeeaugur: I lost my virginity at 19 to a 55 year old man and I NEVER look back on that and think “ugh, what was I thinking!” Its what I wanted! And he gave it to me GOOD. After the pain subsided I had the time of my life. How was I “robbed of my youth”?
BigG
I mean like whatever floats everyone’s boat. Just don’t be complaining when your little boyfriend dumps you and you’re sitting at a bar wondering “what happened?” What happened is he’s 19 and you’re 50. The Young persons brain is still developing and he has a life to live. the other guy already lived and is settled. Two different people who only have sex in common until the daddy can’t get it up. I give that twink one week till he cheats. Mmhmm
Craig Shapiro
When i was a ‘twinky’ in Philadelphia, i targeted men 20 to 40 years my senior. At 5’10”,shoulder length curly hair, my tight . . . 13 year old sensual self had my pick of the heard. At the age of 17, i settled down with a handsome 38 year old. I always associated with folks older then me. At the age of 36, after six years of celibacy for personal and spiritual reasons, i was perused by a stunning 5’10”, dark red hair (YUM) , hazel eyes Irish babe. We talked for hours, three nights in a row. The fourth night when he came over, i opened the door, asked, “are you Gay?” In the middle of his “Yes”, it was on. Later my neighbor closed my door. The fifth day he moved in, just in time for Christmas. “Speaking of holidays, whens your birthday.” He replied October, WOW, me too . . . he would be 18. Interest, attraction, preference and love is who you are. If you are not causing harm to yourself or to the one your with, it ain’t nobody’s business. You have a judgment, a problem with my joy, keep in mind that is your problem.
Dan Steele
My attraction to twinks has led to enjoyment.
walshwitch
Your penchant for bullshit articles (see: made up/fiction) is a bore.
Will Moor
@walshwitch: https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/3hfsal/is_a_older_bear_into_twinks_disgusting/
jag4313
I graduated from twink status a long time ago, and my preference has always been older men. If there weren’t older men out there looking for twinks I would have never found my husband. I was 19 and he was 30. That sounded bad at the time but now I’m 32 and he’s 43 and for some reason people are more comfortable with that we are older and I’m no longer “twink status”
L Daniel E Kaufman
Why did I bother?â?¦..sigh…the issue is his hang up…at least queerty is attempting a more serious topic.
Cam
If the guy had a good friend who told him not to come over anymore because he was afraid for his teenage sons and all of his other friends are reacting with “disgust”, it is sounding like the person who wrote the post isn’t being completely up front about the age he prefers. Nobody is going to attack a 30 year old for dating a 25 year old, I’m thinking he is not being up front about how young he really likes them, if a good friend is telling him to never come 8ver again because he fears for his kids it sounds like the guy is giving off a really creepy signal.
ted72
@AxelDC: Well said.
ted72
@jkb: You should read more carefully. He makes a valid point. You just focused on on a part of his comment and that’s not being fair.
Robb Forehand
I made it ten whole minutes without a Queerty post featuring a shirtless white twink! Thanks so much!!
Ivan Alberto Lugo
Well lol he’s feeling bad and is in he’s 30’s I’m 47 and just got married to my 22 years old now husband and by the way he proposed not me and for those that may think he was looking for a sugar daddy well he make 4 times what I make cuz he is a surgeon 🙂 so don’t pay mind to the ones that say is disgusting 🙂
Daniel Luis Ortiz
There definitely is a double standard in the gay community… What I don’t like is whenever a gay page post something about “twinks” or younger gay men there’s always a group of people who post “I like or date real men”… As if your age or appearance has anything to do with your manhood. It’s the attitude that someone over the age of 18 isn’t a man yet that makes some people feel uneasy but it’s total BS.
Glücklich
@Craig Shapiro:
A bridge too far Craig. Actually several bridges.
onthemark
@Stache99: Right – I’d have expected Billy Budd to regale us with another of his charming Brazilian tales, like how the age of consent in Brazil is 9 or whatever, or maybe rape is legal in Brazil or something like that (the point of course being always that “you Americans are so puritanical”). Obrigado to Billy, he always makes Brazil sound like such a scuzzy hedonistic sh*thole! Maybe he’s trying to promote Brazil tourism for perverts to compete against Thailand?
Glücklich
@Ivan Alberto Lugo:
A surgeon. At 22. Are they managing to keep the lights on in Mogadishu all day now?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrERtikdPus
Dave084
Disgusting?…..Get a grip Gertrude. If you need a shrink, fine. But it’s not because you like younger, legal age guys.
Bauhaus
@Glücklich:
Term for reverse paternal instinct? Good people, and right up my alley.
Cam
@Ivan Alberto Lugo: said…. “I’m 47 and just got married to my 22 years old now husband and by the way he proposed not me and for those that may think he was looking for a sugar daddy well he make 4 times what I make cuz he is a surgeon ”
_______________________
You guys that come on to any page and try to defend whatever your opinion is by lying, please just stop. Or at least get better at it.
Your comment has two main sections.
1. You are 47 and you married a 22 year old.
2. He wasn’t looking for a sugar daddy because he makes a lot of money because he is a surgeon.
Ok, so lets see, the average college student graduated college at 22, then there is 4 years of medical school (26), then there is an internship (27 or 28), then there are different residencies, for surgery I believe the shortest is around 4 years, with specialties like Plastic or Neuro being around 9 years. (32 – 37)
Since for your fake husband to actually be making a lot of money and actually BE a surgeon he would be over 30, if you consider what he is making during residency to be a lot of money, then the youngest he could be would be late 20’s to 30.
Unless of course you want to claim that he started medical school when he was 15.
So nice try on the lie there.
Jordan Walker
You can be a twink up to like 25 , maybe a lil longer if you’re an elf lol and pull it off . I think he’s just hiding something , closeted pedi ? This just seems ridiculous , nobody criticizes a straight person over being into some young actor or model etc
Stephen Mole
What’s really disconcerting is the language used in a lot of gay porn, it verges and fantasizes on incest. Not even specialist but just general porn offerings that come up. ‘Dad’, ‘daddie’, ‘son’ and ‘boy’ are ubiquitous, not to mention scenarios where teenage-looking son’s best friend just happens to call by and just happens to end up giving the ‘Dad’ a blow-job and getting himself fucked – and loving it. It’s long been known through tons of studies that hetero choices are nearly always subconsciously based on choosing youth and perceived virility in a partner as well as suitability for child bearing. There can’t be the same drive on homosexual choice (or can there)?
Danny Miller
Huh ?
youarekiddingme
@Cam:
He’s even a worse liar. Checked his Facebook page. You’d think a guy who just got “married” would have the news of it on his Facebook page right? NOTT!! Not even a picture of a boyfriend/husband to be found anywhere!
There seems to be a rash of these Lying posters on this site recently. Good Spot by the way!
Cam
@youarekiddingme:
Typical huh? Nice work detective. lol
Will Moor
@Cam: excellent point. You are right, few people think a 5 year age gap is disgusting between two consenting adults. He is probably either lying about his own age or the age he prefers.
youarekiddingme
@Will Moor:
…or lying about the fact that his dumpy ass can even find a male te even go out with him….
HATE LIARS
Stephen Mole
@Jean-Claude Poulin: Merci. A good and intelligent post well needed amongst all this dross. Answered some questions for me anyway. I’d been thinking along these lines.
Michiel Naude
Mmm,also have a think fetish..
Stephen Mole
@Amaurys Arias: Agreed!
Vincenzo Giuseppe Saulino
I’m all for twinks
Brtw82
@Will Moor:
How many times I have to repeat?
I like guys who look young (late teens, early 20s), whatever is their age. There are a lot of guys who are in their late 20s, but people think they are much younger.
I’m not really interested in dating a 18 yo, but a mature 26 yo who looks 18-20 yes. However people will always think that he is much younger than me.
As I said, maybe I had bad experiences mixed with my insecurities. Maybe I was too “open” about my attraction and have a creepy vibe. Maybe I just had puritan friends.
Stache99
@Ivan Alberto Lugo: Don’t listen to any of those jealous haters. Be proud you found a 22 yo surgeon. Lol
Seriously, I get that you like youngsters. At that age their a child mentally though that you could never have anything in common with. Why not just be their mentor. Otherwise, you’re nothing but a joke to everyone.
Stache99
@Brtw82: Not sure what your point is. You seem to be tap dancing around this. You also sound like our freind Billy Bud. I like em really young looking but I make sure their legal. Gag me.
At any rate, like I said. It comes down to maturity. You’re very immature so it makes sense you seek out guys that match it. I seriously doubt you could even find any guys in your age range interested in you once they get to know you. If I had a dime for every guy like you I’d be rich as they say.
Streamciter
Someone in their mid-30’s is considering psychiatric help because they prefer dating someone in their mid-20’s?? That is the same age range to me–this isn’t someone in their sixties pining for teenagers. Nothing wrong with it.
NJjoe
As long as the “Twink” is of legal age, who cares? No judgement here.
Morgan S. Trouillet
I love twinks and think I always will. If both men are legal and consenting, it’s none of our business who does what.
Verlaine
In Ancient Greece, a relationship between an adult male and a younger male (often in his teens) was a socially acceptable custom. It was sometimes associated with entrance into military service and considered a rite of passage.
In modern society, there are many advantages to such a relationship. The younger man provides companionship and physical beauty. The older man, particularly those successfully established in business, provides support and stability. It is a natural homosexual pairing with the age difference fulfilling the old adage that “opposites attract.” I’ve known many happy couples of disparate ages and it is mutually beneficial and rewarding for both partners.
Billy Budd
@Verlaine: I Love your answer.
GayMafiaKingpin
Hmm… I’m a 43-year-old man who is most often attracted to twinkish 20-something-year-olds. I rarely get anyone giving me a hard time about it, aside from the occasional 20-something who is appalled that I would dare to say “Hello” to him. And my friends might raise an eyebrow, but ultimately care more that I’m happy than judge me for something so trivial.
I don’t have much trouble finding 20-somethings who are interested in older guys, either, so I don’t see what the problem is. Maybe if all younger guys were disgusted in older guys, it would make sense that people would be bothered by the pairing of older with younger, but why shouldn’t both parties date, or “date,” who they want?
http://www.ltasb.com/blog/2015/2/6/age-differences
Stache99
@Billy Budd: I agree that you love that because you’ve talked about how great a situation that is too. That’s also why most hear your defense as complete BS.
Stache99
@Verlaine: The point your missing is these kids were pretty much owned by the older guy who could do with them as he pleased. They were nothing more then slaves. That’s not a healthy relationship in any way.
Stache99
@GayMafiaKingpin: ” I have a bit of a hangup about dating older guys, and I’m not sure where it stems from, but the best I can figure is that it has something to do with me not being comfortable in a submissive role. It might sound odd, but even when I’m with guys who are half my age – and I’m currently 43, by the way – I’ll treat them as if they were my contemporaries or peers.”
You consider anyone near your age as someone that has to be “dominate”? After reading that I have to say you have more issues then a readers digest.
Stache99
@GayMafiaKingpin: Btw. You’re exactly what the commenter Cory was talking about….
“Not all older men it muscle heads are just looking to dominate a younger man, but I always seem to get targeted by the ones that do”
Jon Mackey
I don’t see how that’s disgusting just means he’s attracted too younger guys. Unless there under age then there’s really no problem.
Billy Budd
@Stache99: Defense? Why do you think I have to defend myself from anything? I am totally comfortable with who I am and whom I date. It is you who has a problem.
Clark35
@Will Moor: That’s how I feel. I know a bisexual man who was in his mid 20s and in a relationship with an older man who preferred younger men like he was at the time, and a few years later when he turned 28 he got dumped because he was “too old”. But my friend told me his ex then became obsessed with younger men and got arrested as a sexual predator for picking up guys who were in HS and not 18. I have heard from other bisexual and gay men that if a man that’s older “prefers younger men” that eventually he will get into illegal sex acts.
Doughosier
I’m 51, my boyfriend is 27 and we’ve been together for nearly 4 years. We are very happy. You don’t choose who you are attracted to so go for it!
youarekiddingme
@Clark35:
There you go again with more broad sweeping bullshit statements!
“I have heard from other bisexual and gay men that if a man that’s older “prefers younger men ” that eventually he will get into illegal sex acts”.
Are you kidding? I have heard stupid shit too but I don’t go around repeating it…most of us have something called a brain and a filter so that we don’t repeat illogical bullshit. I’ve heard stupid shit like all gay men are child molesters…is that worth posting? Is it true because “someone ” said it? Duh?
Your posts are bordering on total lunacy. Just stop and think before you type. Maybe have someone with a brain proofread your work before you post so you don’t come off as a total fool!
Jay Means
he should go 4 it but look out he wont hold on to ya long i am 58 now i did it but it did not work he want to much but not givin so i just let it play out so good luck to you oh that is like i am looking for you
notevenwrong
I just have to wonder at the level of dysmorphia that makes a thirty-something think of himself as an “older” guy.
CivicMinded
My rule of thumb is to not date anyone who could be my father or my child. Since I had my first orgasm at age 13 that basically leaves me with up to 12 years older or younger. I think as long a the lower age limit of the men he will date ages as he does, he’s a healthy, normal individual. At 54 I still find men in their mid 20s attractive but I wouldn’t date them. I’ve always thought that there was a double standard in society where straight men are OK to lust after a Lolita but gay men in the same situation would be considered perverts.
Tracy Pope
Saying he likes guys younger than his self bothers his friends? Get better friends. Also, the age gap isn’t that great. My boyfriend and I met when he was in his early 20s. He is 20 years younger than myself. We’ve been together almost 9 years now and I still get the “twink”, “robbing the cradle” type of jibes. It’s boorish, tiresome and just plain uneducated.
We’re trained to be wary for good reason. There are pedophiles. The down side of that is many people associates liking “twinks” with pedophilia. Not the same thing.
spiffy
@Brtw82: It sounds like you haven’t been out THAT long. Date whomever you want, date a LOT. You never know, your taste may change over time; if not, you just still may find that one younger-looking man you’d want to grow old with who’s your emotional and intellectual match — IF long term monogamy is your goal.
Will Moor
@Brtw82: As I pointed out above I’m not by ANY means against a younger adult man being with an older adult man. I don’t judge that at all. If there is a genuine connection then great, so long as that is what it is. A *genuine* connection. I just don’t “get” the unconquerable need to *always* be with someone who looks so young. How can you ever possibly find a stable long term relationship if you start gagging at the thought of crows feet? I mean eventually EVERYONE gets them and any boyfriend you have will eventually get older and look older, no matter how youthful he appeared at 26 or 27. When that happens is it then curtains for your relationship? Look, for me it really isn’t an issue with the older and younger thing. I have dated older, I have dated younger so that is not the issue for me. But it seems to me that your preference is *very* cemented in looks. Like more so than with most people. My fiance happens to be younger than I am and when we got together he was very youthful looking. I fell hard for him and he for me (and not because of his youthful appearance). His dazzling smile that reaches his eyes lit up the world for me. To me he is the most beautiful man in the world. But he has aged a little since we first got together, as human beings tend to do. He now has crows feet, his hair is thinner than it once was, his teeth not so bright. And that hasn’t changed a damn thing about how I feel about him. Not a damned thing. I love that man more and more every single day. I am hopelessly in love with him and he is still the most beautiful man in the world to me, his smile that reaches his eyes still dazzles me and I cannot imagine life without him. I treasure his crows feet. I delight in them because I see them as a testament to the happiness we share and have shared for years now. Do you think you could ever have something like that, as cemented as you are in needing and craving someone of a very specific appearance that they simply cannot possess forever?
Billy Budd
@Jean-Claude Poulin: I like your answer.
SonOfKings
Why is this even an issue if everyone is grown and over 18? People need to mind their own business and not somebody else’s.
Will Moor
@SonOfKings: he put his business out there, inviting comments.
Benjamin James Langan
See Melissar, this is why.
Tracy Pope
@Brtw82: My original post was removed. Likely because I said something someone misread to mean something else entirely. Reading the comments on Queerty is probably the last thing you should be doing. There is a lot of hateful people posting on this site. Your preference for men in their early to mid 20s (your age gap isn’t that great) might change as you get older, it might not. Don’t drive yourself crazy over it.
seasailor
If it wasn’t for hot older bears I would never have had as much fun and gained the experience I needed when I was in my early 20’s. I’ve always been attracted to older guys, but I got the same flack too. My peers were disgusted that I liked guys in their late 30’s, early 40’s. Go figure. People would sooner try to remodel the universe the way they think it should be run.
Cam
@Tracy Pope:
But if that was REALLY his preference I seriously doubt his friends would react with disgust and not allow him around their kids. I think he is not being quite honest about his preferences. I don’t know ANYBODY that would give a 30 year old grief for dying a 26 year old. There is something missing from his story.
Clark35
@youarekiddingme: If you want to see a total fool read your own posts. It is true that if a man “only prefers younger men”, well I would not be surprised if he is akin to Michael Jackson, or will be in the future.
youarekiddingme
@Clark35:
You idiot I do read my own posts, several times, before I hit the “post comment” button. You obviously don’t!
If you read ANY of my posts anywhere you would know that I backup what I say with quoted facts or strictly say that they are my opinion. You, on the other hand, talk about these “bisexual and gay people who say…”. Again, because somebody says something doesn’t make it factual!!
“…man only prefers younger men , well I would be surprised if he is akin to Michael Jackson, or will be in the future”.
You jump in with these broad, sweeping, rediculous statements that mean ZERO (sorta like your IQ obviously)!
Now take your laptop, and your medication and go back into your room and watch the static on the TV like you’re told (and stay the hell off these forum discussions…for your own good)!
GayEGO
As long as they are two consenting adults it is fabulous! I am in my 70s and frankly, I prefer the hot guy in his 30s, and I was in my 20s when I met my lifetime partner who was in his 30s 53 years ago. Back then I preferred older guys so it is ridiculous to state that men only prefer younger guys. There are some guys older than me that I find hot, as they say, you can’t argue taste.
youarekiddingme
@GayEGO:
Very well stated! Yes our tastes do sometimes change. Like you stated, they are consenting adults…what’s the problem? I met a guy who was 19 and I was 30 (some said that was cradle robbing)! That was 24 years ago and we’re happily married.
It’s refreshing to hear from someone who can put things into perspective for some guys who are going a bit off the “deep end” on the subject!
Congratulations on the 53 YEARS TOGETHER!!
Stache99
@GayEGO: Preferring and getting are worlds apart though.
Stache99
@Cam: I think the comments here are vastly more interesting then him. I agree. He’s not being honest. He’s tap dancing around it. At face value no one would bat an eye.
Creamsicle
@Brtw82:
I’m 100% in your corner. I am a youngish looking asian man who was a re-entry college student. I totally understand connecting more to younger guys since I also enjoy geeky things like video games and sci-fi/fantasy. I’m lucky in that I can kind of “pass”for being of similar age to a lot of my friends. For a while I’ve been feeling like I’m in a dating funk zone, because so many other 30 something guys are looking for either someone way younger, or someone older with a more established career and whatnot. I recently got very lucky and started dating a guy in his mid 20s who doesn’t care that I’m still on the pathway to a career.
Whatever the case, who you date is nobody else’s business. 33 is NOT old. The first guy I dated was 30 (I was 26. Also a late dater) and I’ve mostly hooked up with and dated guys who were older than me. The difference between 25 and 33 is far from insurmountable, but more importantly what goes on between two people (or more I suppose) in a relationship is nobody’s business but their own. That apples to all aspects of the relationship. Find the one that works for you. You’re the one who has to live with it, after all!
glennmcbride
I was 35 and my partner 20 when we met – that was 28 years ago and we are still together. I didn’t think it was more than a fling at first, but we have never been apart since the day we met. So I say, ignore people telling you someone is too old or too young, he might be the love of your life. By the way, we adopted and raised four children – all college graduates.
Tracy Pope
@Cam: Had to re-read the article and his post in the comments…. There could very well be more to this story (there usually is) but, taking it at face value, there isn’t anything weird about a couple having an age gap. Of course I say this on the presupposition that it is two consenting adults.
fred olague
I’m 22 and i’m into bears! :v they know how to do everything!
youarekiddingme
@fred olague:
Good for you Fred and a very healthy attitude! Good Luck in finding someone special just for you!
NJ
Well I dont mind having an age distance…I hate being exploited by older men. This makes me a little unsure of having a relationship with an old guy as he can be so into me just for a while, when he is done, he will walk away giving millions of excuses …this thing is not good…
Baruch Ben Yakov
@Brtw82
First of all, what consenting adults do in their relationships are generally no ones business but their own. Barring abuse, neglect, usery, etc. So what gets you going and what you find attractive are your own affair. Its nothing illegal so tell those haters to back the hell off. You don’t have time to deal with their issues and psychosis.
Secondly, there’s a lot of guys who like the thin hairless thing. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so much porn devoted to it. You just have the balls to admit it while they’re wanking to the same thing at night while glaring down their noses at you during the day. We’ve all got our thing. Personally I prefer I brawny guy who can pick me up, hold me down, and has a nice broad chest and thighs that could choke a bear. But I digress. You like what you like, other people don’t have to like it. Just accept it as part of you. If they can’t, toss em like a bad clam.
Thirdly, although I’m not a twink per she, Im sure you’re a good person. We aren’t or at least shouldn’t be judjed by who we find attractive. Do you kill people? Are you a robber? Do you beat kittens? No? Then why sweat over other peoples issues. They’re likely just jealous. So let them squall like cats. You go on with your perfectly flawed self and live a marvelous life. Search for love. Buy geeky toys. Play video games. And let Providence sort out the details.
And always remember you are loved because you are you.
<3
Yehowshuah
redfoxtrot
I am 65 Male and my husband is 24…Yes we are married and very happy together. We are enjoying life together. Does anything else matter
takingliberties
I’m in my early forties and I enjoy having sexual relations with guys who are 18 or 19 but look like they are 15 or 16. It’s the hottest sex ever and it’s totally legal. I give them a few bucks after the sex and they keep coming back for more. Twinks are really just stupid little whores who lack education and rely upon their youth. One should take adantage of them whenever possible. Just make sure it’s legal.
youarekiddingme
@takingliberties: Nothing wrong with you having sex with guys of LEGAL AGE whatsoever…
You are FUCKED UP if you think that “Twinks are really just stupid little whores who lack education and rely on upon their youth.”
What an old troll would say something as deplorable and disparaging as that to/about another human being in a group that is already despised by many! A group that still doesn’t have equal protection under the law (despite marriage equality). Young man you have MUCH to learn. You are the UNEDUCATED one here! I am speaking from a position of greater age and probably greater experience than you will ever grasp.
Now, don’t be a danger to others…and go FUCK YOURSELF! Have a wonderful evening!!