Despite being photographed playing naked “butt bongos” with male pals while partying off the Croatian coast in 2008, getting snapped by paparazzi cozying up with a male model in Los Angeles in 2000, or filing a police report after being mugged at 4 a.m. in a London park notorious for gay hookups, 55-year-old Kevin Spacey has always remained tight-lipped about his sexual orientation.
“Let’s let people live their lives and do it the way they want to do it,” he told The Hollywood Reporter earlier this year. “All the chips will fall in the end, and we’ll all be judged by a much higher power.”
But at least one celebrity has had enough of Mr. Spacey’s decision to keep his private life private.
In his new book The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year, total top Andy Cohen has some rather choice words for the Academy Award-winning actor.
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In one of his “diary entires” dated September 9, 2013, the reality TV mogul writes that he and his dad were at the U.S. Open men’s finals when they ran into Mr. Spacey: “Kevin Spacey was in front of us with a face full of makeup and three male companions who were definitely NOT raising any questions.”
In another entry, Cohen writes that when fellow gay Neil Patrick Harris dropped by his show, the two dished on Spacey’s sexual orientation: “NPH and I talked about a lot of gay stuff, including debating Kevin Spacey; I still get enraged when I think about him talking about being in love with that woman on 60 Minutes. Come out, sir.”
This begs the question: Does Andy have a point? With more and more celebrities coming out, setting a positive example and paving the way for future generations of LGBT entertainers, should Kevin Spacey follow suit? Or does he have a right to privacy? And what message is he sending by refusing to talk publicly about his sexual orientation?
What do you think? Sound off in the comments section below.
Related stories:
Kevin Spacey Still Bristles Over Esquire Magazine Article That Suggested He’s Gay
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Kevin Spacey: Not Talking About My Sexuality Doesn’t Mean I’m ‘Living A Lie’
1EqualityUSA
As long as Mr. S is not actively and hypocritically working against LGBT, then he should do as he pleases and come out when the time feels right for him.
PornForPatric
With so many out celebrities, athletes, politicians, lawyers, doctors, etc. is it really necessary in 2014 to drag someone kicking and screaming from their closet? If Mr. Spacey doesn’t want to come out, that is his business. Let’s just leave him in his closet.
Let us concentrate on all the people, all over the world, who are living lives as openly gay men and women. People who are enriching their community and society. People who are living as examples for the next generation that being gay is no bar to success or acclaim in whatever field they find themselves in. People who give hope to those in less enlightened communities that they are not alone and one day, may be able to be in a place where they can truly be themselves.
jason smeds
Andy Cohen has as much talent as Taylor Swift….which is not saying much.
Paul
Does he have a right to privacy? You really have to ask this question? Of course he does.
Blackceo
@1EqualityUSA:
Agreed. Quite frankly it’s nobody else’s f*cking business so long as he’s not working against the LGBT community.
Wink
Whether Kevin Spacey comes out is his choice. Coming out is an intensely personal matter, not a one-size-fits-all ordeal.
I agree with other comments that as long as he is not being hypocritical (by fighting the LGBT community), his sexual orientation is his personal business.
MarionPaige
“Kevin Spacey was in front of us with a face full of makeup and three male companions who were definitely NOT raising any questions.”
THIS doesn’t scream closeted to me. If Spacey is living his life openly (and one presumes happily), why does he need to make some official announcement?
Steve318
With 21st Century surveillance technology and cell phone cameras on every person, privacy is a thing of the past. Yes, Mr. Spacey has a “right” to privacy but shouldn’t expect it once he steps outside of a secure “safe room.” If he wants to remain in the closet that’s his right. But we all need to remember that closet doors work two ways: they can either be closed or opened by the one inside, or be closed or opened by the one outside. Unless Mr. Spacey has a secure lock on the door, at any time someone else can open it from the other side. My response to a closeted celebrity: sure you have a right to privacy, but are you doing anyone any good by locking the door. Somewhere there is a 14 year old boy (or girl) who will have an easier time coming to terms with their own sexuality because of your bravery to open the door. Also just as importantly, because of your high profile, that 14 year old’s parents will also have an easier time accepting their child’s sexuality. So go ahead and claim the right to privacy, I support your decision, but if you want my advice, come out already, and let the chips fall where they may. Some 14 year old may thank you.
wade22
I can only think of 2 movies that Mr Spacey was any good in…American Beauty and Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil….need I say any else
Treeinwind
I agree absolutely. And since when is it Andy Cohen’s business to out everyone?
MarionPaige
Queerty needs to do a history on “OUT” in North America. People need to know that this shit all started out as a way to convince advertisers (and investors) that GAY was a profitable demographic; it originated with the magazine publishing industry. Also,
I found it funny that the NYT quoted / mentioned Michael Musto in an article on outing but not Adolph Brand.
isafakir
as long as he hurts no one, it’s nobody’s business what he does with what with whom. nobody knows but he what his life is about so it’s just selfish gossip.
Sammy Schlipshit
@wade22:
…..and the implication being that both characters he portrayed were gay?
I will disagree with you about the ‘goodness’ of Midnight in the Garden, etc.
Didn’t like the movie at all. First mistake was having Clit Eastwood direct.
Another case where the book was so much better.
Saint Law
The ex attended Julliard with Spacey. His denials and obfuscation have made him an industry joke.
He’s gay. He’s always been gay. Way past time he got over mom’s disapproval and owned it.
MarionPaige
you might be confusing “Kevin Spacey” with TR Knight, in re “industry joke”
Caine
@wade22: Yes. House of Cards. He is fabulous in it.
Milk
Leave his closet alone!!
PJMG
I enjoy watching Andy Cohen, but it’s none of his or anyone’s business. Why do gays think they always have to talk about their sex lives?? If Kevin Spacey is gay, WHO CARES !!!! People are entitled to privacy and it’s kind of shitty that Andy Cohen felt it necessary to put it out there.. How did that change your life Andy ?? You just put it out there that you’re one of those nasty bitchy gays that judge everyone because you’re so perfect.. Sad.
LadyL
Spacey’s hypocrisy–there was a time when in interviews he went out of his way to give readers the impression that he was straight, and fully expected reporters to back up the lie–used to infuriate me.
I’m done caring about it. Kevin Spacey belongs to that generation of gay celebs for whom coming out was just too risky and he obviously doesn’t know how to respond to a changing culture.
Whatever. I’d rather celebrate the heroes and heroines among us who choose to stand up and be proud–wherever they are–then waste any more energy fuming about some Hollywood closet case.
jorgecruz
If one of the most interesting stories in Andy Cohen’s book is about Kevin Spacey’s sexuality, then that is one boring book. We have enough out actors that are more relevant. Out the closet cases in Washington DC that vote against our rights.
alphang
I really hate that Cohen had to go and say “come out, sir” (and in his book, to boot) as if it’s one’s absolute duty to be openly gay just because one is a public figure. It’s a stupid and low thing to say/do and it’s no one’s business but Spacey’s. Cohen ought to be a bit more understanding about that kind of thing, seeing as he’s BFFLs with Anderson Cooper of all people.
enfilmigult
Well of course he has a RIGHT. People also have the right to say “come out already,” because it’s beyond absurd that he hasn’t.
Desert Boy
After Spacey got beat up cruising Clapham Common park (a well known and notorious gay cruising park) in south London a few years ago, I thought the cat was out of the bag regarding Kevin Spacey’s sexuality.
SteveDenver
Spacey has been playing the Hokey Pokey for so long it’s boring and strikes a boring note that seems so brittle compared to the robust characters he favors on-screen. His “higher power” judgment talk is also strangely weak: does he really subscribe to myths and fables?
I couldn’t take him seriously as an actor after his Bobby Darin vanity piece: he was much too old and not physically fitting the role of dapper Darin. It was an unintended tragedy and didn’t even have any lasting camp value.
LadyL
@PJMG: I’ve just said I no longer care about Mr. Spacey’s closet existence but I must take issue with your comment.
“Why do gays think they always have to talk about their sex lives?” you ask. My response is that coming out has nothing whatever to do with talking about our SEX lives. That’s a classic paranoid fantasy that clueless straights have clung to for years, using it to justify everything from voting for virulently homophobic public policies to violent gay bashing. No one asks such a question about straight people who talk about their personal lives.
Secondly, coming out is a powerful way to claim your own life. When you come out, YOU define who you are rather than other people presuming to do that. (Straight folks never seem to have a problem with talking about who is gay when the discussion is strictly on their terms.)
And as to “Who cares?” Personally, I’ve always found the “who cares” argument more than a bit disingenuous. Somebody clearly does. That is why it took nearly 20 years to begin to dismantle “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” marriage equality is still a battle ground issue in many states, and a federal law that protects LGBT people from employment discrimination is still a goal rather than a reality.
dhmonarch89
he wasn’t outed- only gay sites will run this story- the str8 world will remain oblivious to it, because the str8 press won’t touch this story…since we ALREADY know, it’s hardly a big deal.
Trippy
I like the idea of ol’ Kevin cruising parks for rough trade. Very Hot.
Captain Obvious
Spacey is the first actor who’s ever fooled me, but to be honest I wasn’t really looking to begin with.
smittoons
Giving Andy Cohen extra publicity is far more offensive than the idea of Kevin Spacey not coming out.
NoCagada
Maybe, he will come out as bisexual when he’s 182…just like Clive Davis
DuMaurier
@wade22: Spacey’s made some bum movies, but I can’t think of any HE was bad in. To be fair, many of them you probably didn’t see (he was brilliant in Glengarry Glen Ross, just for one), but since you were focusing on Big Movies, did you seriously not think he was great in Seven???
Mark Jenkins
While I wish he would (if he is)- it’s no one’s business but his own if he chooses not to- some older guys belong to a generation where it was hardly talked about- certainly not accepted in “polite society”- and they just aren’t comfortable with everyone knowing. As far as Cohen outing him in his book and demanding that he “Come Out, Sir” – I think that’s a pretty shitty thing to do. Just because He’s comfortable doing so, is no reason to demand that everyone else follow suit. Shame on Andy Cohen. Ugly deeds make ugly people, Andy- Take a lesson.
JimboinLA
Watch his Academy Award speech for American Beauty. He brought his mom as his date and in his speech said ‘I don’t care what they say about me Mom, I’m glad you are here with me tonight’. Or something of that effect. Basically he used his speech to ‘in’ himself and made it seem like being called gay was an insult. He pissed off many many people with that speech. His longtime ‘partner’ Dana Brunetti dated Kristin Chenoweth last year which was really bizarre. He became Kevin’s assistant when he was 19 and they were together for many years until Dana got to old and rich to be Kevin’s boyfriend. It was common knowledge on the set of Superman that him and his pal Brian Singer were up to shenanigans in their trailers with various assistants. A lot of people in the biz are fairly disgusted with Kevin. No one was surprised when he got beat up in London.
MisterDemand
If anyone is seriously bothered by the way Kevin Spacey lives his life then they need to deal with their own issues. We all know what the “line” is for gay people staying closted or private- being antigay, and preached/supported hypocritical BS ( Ted Haggart, Eddie Long, etc.) If they arent- and Spacey is if anything an ally- then its no ones else’s business.
I dont know when gay people got so judgmental. Think about when you came out and how hard that, mostly likely, incremental process was. Now imagine some gay snob who thinks he knows better instantly outing you years before that point where you would of been ready- how devastating and unfair would the be?! Everyones life is there own. Just because you both have sex with men does not give u the right to hijack someones life
Mr. Spacey is entitled to publicily come out, if or when, he feels ready.
mz.sam
With all the sitings and reported documented incidents its nobody’s business, including Andy Cohen of how Kevin Spacey chooses to live his life. And at this point, who cares and truly wants to know if this old thespian queen delights in dudes or dames.
jjose712
@Sammy Schlipshit: His character in American Beauty was not gay, and he was fantastic in Usual suspects.
He is a good actor but he is not a likeable person, so frankly i prefer he stays in the closet
Sammy Schlipshit
@jjose712:
Oh no….you’re correct. I got confused. It was his neighbor who kissed him and then killed himself if I remember correctly.
Thanks for the correction.
I agree. Spacey talks like a funny, smart, witty, talented, quite accomplished guy. It’s a pity he still has that last little bit of seemingly self hatred about being gay to the public.
It seems he has no problem being seen in public with men/boy ‘friends’ but just can’t bring himself to finally slam shut that closet door.
As to the folks who say it’s his private life and none of us should care, well, all I know is we have str8 folks sex lives crammed in our faces all day, every day. That what it is when we constantly hear about opposite gender partners, their marriages, their kids and grand-kids and all the sexual innuendos that pop up in each and every interview/news story.
Having once lived for quite a few years in Monterey/Carmel area I will tell you there are several closeted gay movie/TV stars who live the same lie…..and the ‘media’ goes right along with the fibs because they know if they publish the truth they won’t get access to any more of the media whores.
jason smeds
Andy Cohen has been a disaster for the gay community. Is it possible to disown him? Let’s give him to a zoo – perhaps the insect enclosure.
Ottoman
Kevin Spacey and anyone else in the entertainment industry should have no expectation of privacy unless they’re willing to give up the huge salaries that are fueled, not by let’s face it effort or ability, but by public interest in their lives.
dakman77
I’m more surprised at the “total top Andy Cohen” comment. I got more of the bossy bottom vibe from him.
Stefano
@LadyL: you are so right !
Brawny71
The thing is that Spacey contributes to that tired old “love that dare not speak its name” philosophy. At some point you look more foolish dancing around the topic than just addressing it and moving on, something Jodie Foster finally figured out. It’s tedious, it makes him seem angry, and I don’t enjoy him in interviews.
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IJelly
Yeah, I agree that people are entitled to their privacy. But I also think it’s perfectly reasonable to call someone out on a blatant lie. If Kevin doesn’t want to talk about his sexuality, then he shouldn’t talk about it. But if he comes out with some bullshit story about his love for a cute young lady, I don’t see why any reporter is obligated not to call him on his shit.
martinbakman
What matters more to me is that his character Frank Underwood in House of Cards is portrayed as having been so drawn to a male friend in college and during their reunion, those feelings were still there. A lot of young men go through that in their college years, being gay and falling for a (mostly) straight friend, and being straight yet feeling affection towards another guy. I was impressed that House of Cards went there, yet disappointed how the entertainment media either let that part of the show either fly under the radar, or else deny that it was a realistic part of young men’s lives that evolves yet never vanishes. Kudos to Spacey for portraying that awesome scenario in his show. Seeing how the media practically ignored the show’s venture into sexuality, in that sense I can’t blame Spacey for not caring to talk to the media about his own sexuality. The media is too full of straights that just don’t get it.
takingliberties
Andy Cohen is an arse.
Cam
Spacey becomes insulting and acts like being gay is something shameful and disgusting when asked about it.
I was always kind of iffy on whether or not I liked Andy Cohen, he seemed likable, but then again he is responsible for infesting TV with “The REal housewives”.
As far as I’m concerned, after reading that I now really like Andy Cohen.
Cam
Spacey also compares kids being bullied into Suicide and other brutalities with people asking him if he’s gay.
“In a new interview in the Daily Beast, Kevin Sessums grills Kevin Spacey about rumors he is gay. Spacey says he never discusses it because he “(has) not given up (his) right to privacy.”
He also calls those who condemn the bullying of gay teens hypocrites for not also condemning the outing of celebrities.”
http://www.towleroad.com/2010/12/kevin-spacey-says-harassing-him-about-being-gay-is-like-bullying-im-not-living-a-lie.html
jwtraveler
Who cares?
BJ McFrisky
Attention whores like Cohen need to leave the Spacester alone.
Cam
@BJ McFrisky:
And of COURSE BJ would support somebody hiding the fact that they are gay because they are ashamed and think it is something to be hidden away.
We can always count on BJ to support either anti-gay bigots, or anybody who thinks being gay is shameful.
aliengod
Andy Cohen should keep his mouth shut. It’s up to Mr. Spacey to decide when or if he’d like to come out. He has no obligation to declare his sexuality to the world.
BJ McFrisky
@Cam: Dude, you need to find another obsession besides putting words in my mouth. I mean, you posted your comment two minutes after me. Two minutes! Proof that you sit around waiting for me to post, just so you can attack. It’s stalker behavior. It’s beyond creepy. It’s indicative of mental illness.
Trippy
I caught Andy on “The Talk” today and have to admit I had no idea who he was. He struck me as a narcissistic ass who really really loves being “famous.” But no, I don’t like outing celebrities just for the sake of outing them. It strikes me as something gays do as a way of “collecting” allies for their mantels. I do, however, feel differently with respect to outing the haters who are secretly banging it out with rentboys or cruising t-rooms. Spacey is not a hater. Leave him alone.
Kangol
It is Spacey’s life, but I do hope he feels comfortable to come out before his time on earth is up.
Living in the closet the way he does is so stressful and imposes an unnecessary tax that coming out would help him avoid. An out gay older male actor in Hollywood can find work these days; Spacey is versatile enough–as an actor–to score all kinds of roles. He has been excellent in House of Cards, much better than I thought he’d be. And he’d get that role and others as an out gay man as opposed to a closeted, fake straight one.
But fear is a powerful motivator. Hopefully he’ll conquer that fear.
northwest
Spacey was good in L.A. Confidential, the only movie I’ve ever seen him in and his commercials that are running now are funny. He has to live his life the way he wants, but it’s sad that he and others (Queen Latifah for instance) aren’t comfortable enough with who they are to just admit they are gay. Staying closeted in this day and age is so antiquated.
gaym50ish
Even if you have first-hand knowledge that someone is gay, you should not, in my opinion, “kiss and tell” under most circumstances. The exception is exposing the hypocrisy of someone who is harming gays with his speech or actions. In that case I would say, “Go for it!” When you out a preacher who is preaching against homosexuality, as a rent boy did to Ted Haggard, that’s fair.
In the case of Kevin Spacey, I don’t think he’s harming anyone by remaining closeted, perhaps for career reasons. And if he is gay, then there are likely some of his sex partners out there who could out him if they wanted to, and so far nobody has come forward.
So let it go. Gossip about Hollywood stars is inevitable, but it is unbecoming of those who do the gossiping.
ScottSher
Andy Cohen is not “outing”Spacey. He is sharing his reactions to an actor who has denied rumors of being gay. If Cohen feels he’s being slandered, he has a number of ways to make his clain: in the press, in a Very Special interview with Oprah, in a YouTube video as others have done, or through the courts. However, you have to remember that his book was published by a major publisher. Without a doubt they would have ran the manuscript through their legal department. If Cohen’s claims are not backed by some proof or evidence, the publisher wouldn’t have allowed those references to stay in. They wouldn’t risk a libel suit from Spacey if they didn’t think they could win it.
I think Spacey is an excellent actor, but, if he is gay (I don’t know if Cohen is right) his denials and obscurations are abhorrent.
As far as the “private life” argument goes, it has no merit. As a successful public figure, Spacey trades some of his privacy for fame. Since no one feels the need to lie about being straight, why is being gay regarded as a private matter? It implies that being gay is shameful, and should be lied about. It maintains the that the simple act of being truthful will bring about something bad (in Spacey’s life, I’d imagine he’d fear fewer roles and less income.)
Many public figures have come out and it hasn’t hurt their careers. But some remain fearful, That will never change until more public figures tell the truth, shave their ‘beards,” lose their insecurities and find their balls
toshafree
Guess what this is no one business
David
Andy Cohen? Bitter party of one…. Next up. Cohen breaks the bombshell revelation that Liberace really was gay! Is Spacey living a hypocritical life where he attacks gay rights by day and shags men by night? No. So guess what? WHO CARES?
For some much needed context, I remember a conversation I had with niece when she was 12, she wanted to know which celebrities were gay. (Because, apparently we all know each other from the big gay meetings…)
I mentioned there was speculation about Kevin Spacey, and my niece rolled her eyes, and said “Oh Pluuuhheeeze Uncle Dave, he too his MOM to the Oscars… DUH!”
Out of the mouths of babes….
1EqualityUSA
David, Thanks for the smile.
Cam
@BJ McFrisky:
Of course you’re upset BJ, somebody who thinks being gay is shameful and should be hidden was outted.
Because remember, anything that is bad for gay BJ likes.
SUESTU
“And what message is he sending by refusing to talk publicly about his sexual orientation?”
…equality. When was the last time a celebrity was lambasted for not declaring to the world that they’re straight?
winnerrr
Why should he have to say divulge who he has sex with? I’m a heterosexual, do I have to tell you who i have sex with?Who cares who you love, just keep it movin….
subnerdo
“Does he have a right to privacy?”
Gee, I don’t know, OP. Do YOU have a right to privacy? How about we all poll the people here to see if you have a “right” to privacy. Get the fuck out of here. Who gives a shit about other peoples’ preferences? Get the fuck out of others’ personal lives. I’m sure you wouldn’t enjoy some shit article going around about your life under a microscope.
Doughosier
It’s not as if a gay celebrity can stay in the closet nowadays. Who thinks Kevin Spacy is straight??
salumbre
Well, and when is Richard Simmons gonna come out of that closet? He has never, ever, even ONCE said he’s gay!
slinky49
Any celebrity knows that their celebrity attracts attention to and scrutiny of what they say and do. If they very publicly and repeatedly say “I am this” then just as publicly and repeatedly behave in ways that say “I am that”, the contradiction is going to invite speculation about which image is more genuine. If they really want to maintain their privacy, they will endeavor to maintain behavior and narrative that are consistent enough to avoid the speculation and the logical questioning about the apparent disconnect. Flagrantly disregarding obvious contradictions and the curiosity they are bound to provoke negates any “right” to privacy argument as far as I’m concerned. Stay in the closet, come out of the closet, OK by me. Try to maintain celebrity status while living half-in and half-out of the closet makes you fair game for being publicly called on your BS. If your behavior seems to legitimize social stigma attached to that aspect of yourself you obviate but will not openly discuss, then you are harming those who struggle to achieve a healthy relationship with similar aspects of their own personas even if you don’t actively promote demeaning institutions. Implicit shaming is often just as powerful as explicit shaming. If I see you doing either, I have a right to protest that.