Did Paris Hilton’s Brother Barron Star in a ‘Hardcore Gay Sex Tape’ Beloved by Male Models?

Page Six has this gem for all of us to wonder about: “Which younger brother of an infamous socialite appears in a hardcore gay sex tape that’s making the rounds in the male modeling world?” God, this thing actually sounds kind of hot. I mean, if male models watch it instead of just masturbating in the mirrors, it’s gotta be good, right? Here are our guesses as to the mysterious socialite sibling star:

1. Barron Nicholas Hilton II: Paris Hilton apparently has two brothers, both with terrible names. Barron is definitely cut from the same cloth as Paris in more than hereditary ways: at the tender age of 18, he also got into a DUI crash. And she also made a sex tape too! Back in 2007, Gawker joked about him being gay, saying: “Because that’s what we’ve heard, that he’s totally a gay!” But then a few weeks ago he tweeted, “Being dragged by @VanessaDuBasso to see Twilight… #DedicatedBoyfriend.” And this “girlfriend” (beard?!) tweeted back the same thing. Apparently Barron forced her to make this Twitter, so clearly he is forcing her to publicly announce their relationship in order to achieve full beard status. Right?
2. Dakota Lohan: Okay, we’re only throwing this out there because Lindsay is the infamous-est of infamous socialites. The infamiest! And we didn’t know she had a brother until we Googled it. But this kid is 15, and while we wouldn’t hold it above male models to gawk at kiddie porn, we’re just going to perish the thought.
3. Rob Kardashian: He’s 24 and has dated ex-Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon, but then he cheated on her. It doesn’t say with whom in this article. It could’ve been a man! Who he now made a gay sex tape with down the road! Maybe!

Heidi Montag’s stepbrother is dead, Tinsley Mortimer doesn’t have a brother, and Nicole Richie is adopted, so we’re done for now. Maybe the joke of this “infamous socialite” blind item is that the socialite is actually not famous—you know how the “in-” prefix makes words mean the opposite—and they’re being clever. Anyway, tell us your guesses in the comments. Or send us a tip in an email.

(Photo: Facebook.)