From Mommie Dearest to What’s Love Got To Do With It? to The Iron Lady, the gays have long enjoyed the opportunity to see women we love embodying other women we love (or in Thatcher’s case, love to hate). Of course, for every triumph, there’s an epic failure: Lindsay Lohan’s Liz & Dick comes to mind. As we gird ourselves for Zoe Saldana’s upcoming Nina Simone movie, which is already earning the public’s skeptical side eye, let’s hypothesize about some other potential blockbuster biopics.
Queen Latifah as Pearl Bailey
This one is sort of the grandmother of casting opportunities. Latifah has even spoken in interviews about how much she’d love to take on this project. Beyond the physical resemblance, they have similar vocal qualities, meaning that the soundtrack album would be phenomenal. And who doesn’t want to see a movie about a woman that Richard Nixon appointed as the United States’ Ambassador of Love?
Emma Caulfield as Madeline Kahn
The beloved comedian who we lost too soon needs a movie made about her, and this former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star is just the woman to tackle the role. Both ladies share strong bone structure, deceptively innocent eyes, and impeccable comedic timing. Plus, Caulfield has the dramatic chops needed to bring Kahn’s private battle with cancer to life. You’d laugh, you’d cry, you’d cross your fingers for an Oscar nomination.
Debra Messing as Myrna Loy
Not everyone would be familiar with this siren of the silent era, but she’d be worth resurrecting for all the twists and turns her life took. After starting in smaller, more serious roles, she became a huge star for her comedic talents. Meanwhile, her off-screen life included four marriages and several rumored affairs. Messing needs to jump on this gravy train before it’s too late and she’s relegated to forever being hate-watched on Smash reruns.
Emma Stone as Hillary Clinton
We’re going to need a Hillary Clinton movie sooner or later. And sure, watching Meryl Streep dig into some of the present-day stuff would be delightful, but I think it’d be a smarter move to explore Ms. Clinton’s less familiar past. Emma Stone’s career is getting huge, but she hasn’t had a moment yet. A part like this would have the potential to lock her into the A List for life.
Emma Watson and Wendie Malick as Nora Ephron
Hear me out on this one. To do Ephron’s life justice, you’d need to see her progression from young writer to all-out icon. And while Wendie Malick is tailor-made for the latter half of the story, she’s not going to cut it for the early years. Emma Watson doesn’t look much like a young Nora Ephron, but she looks strikingly like a young Wendie Malick. Movies about how movies are made can be delicious when done right, and this insider story has serious potential.
RuPaul as Storm
OK, Storm isn’t a real person and RuPaul isn’t a real woman, but try to tell me that the idea isn’t perfect. If this got made, I would never stop watching it. Never not ever.