TRUE CONFESSIONS

Does This Man’s Wife Deserve To Know His Kinky Gay Adult Film Past?

Screen Shot 2015-02-26 at 9.44.23 PMHere’s a cautionary tale whether you’re gay or straight, or as our protagonist seems to be, ehh a little bit of both.

We’ll have to travel back to a more rudimentary time, when logging onto the internet was a process that meant enduring some truly horrific noises, Nintendo 64 was the latest and greatest in gaming technology, and “Tumblr porn” would have meant you had a thing for acrobats. That last point, now that we mention it, doesn’t sound too bad.

The year is 1996, and Jimmy (ed. note: we don’t know his name so we’re going to call him Jimmy, just go with it) is a fresh-faced 20-year-old working a dead end job doing security at a gated community. It was the mid-’90s after all — if you didn’t have a McMansion, how would people know you were important?

Once night Jimmy got an innocent sounding offer — provide some additional security for a “house party,” make some extra scratch. Not a bad deal.

He quickly realized that the party was actually a cover for a professional porn shoot. What gave it away? Probably all the naked people having sex in front of cameras, but who’s to say really? Jimmy did his job without gawking too much, and was rewarded for his discretion with a regular gig.

And like a true Hollywood fairytale, a director plucked him from obscurity. “Hey kid!” we imagine him saying, cigar muffling his consonants. “You wanna be in the pictures?”

As Jimmy tells it:

“I was 20, looked about 14 under the right conditions, (clean shaven, and in right clothes). He asked if I did acting, told me if I was willing to give it a try he’d pay me $1000/day, I made $200/wk at my current job. He sweet talked me, $1000 to have sex with a beautiful woman. I had only had sex with two girls at that point, and I told him that. He seemed happy to know I was, ‘fresh.'”

Well he did it, though to his initial shock he’d been cast in a “mother/son” incest fantasy. Still, the money was right.

After four days of filming, the work suddenly stopped. But Jimmy had caught the bug (no, not chlamydia). He was hungry for more, and after a month of radio silence, contacted the director seeking more work.

“He said he didn’t have any more work like that but if I was willing to try something else he could get me some work. I said I’d try anything, I should have clarified that. He got me a job, a one day shoot on the other side of the state he said they were eager to work with me so I drove over there.”

It’s easy to laugh at this point; you know he meant gay porn, don’tcha Jimmy boy? But internet porn wasn’t what it is today. If you weren’t actively seeking something out, it was a lot easier to remain oblivious.

Jimmy arrived at the shoot and said no way. The director asked what it would take, and Jimmy came up with $5,000. “How about $2,500?” asked the director. They settled on $3,000. Jimmy wasn’t a great negotiator.

“I drove home $3000 richer, with a very sore asshole. After that I had work almost every weekend for the next year and a half. I finally stopped when I met a girl and figured she would never love a guy who fucked more guys than she had. I’ve never told my wife, I was her second and I have no idea how many people I’ve slept with, onscreen and off.

Next month is our 18th anniversary.”

Despite the obvious moral questions, he’s come away from the experience learning one solid life lesson that other straight guys would be wise to consider:

“I’m not gay, but gay sex can still feel really good. Prostate stimulation feels awesome.”

Now 19 years later, Jimmy doesn’t know if he should continue holding onto his secret as tightly as he must have clenched that first day bottoming. Perhaps that’s why he posted such an elaborate anonymous confession.

He worries (for good reason) that his wife, who he describes as “very reserved,” would freak out upon discovering that her husband had a budding porn career.

Does Jimmy have a responsibility to tell her? He says he only quit the industry four months before his wedding. What happens if/when his wife finds out another way?

Or can the past really stay in the past?

“I don’t really see sex as gay and straight. There is just sex. At least my remorse has fueled a desire to make it up to my wife, even after all these years I still feel I owe her for what I did. I try to be the best husband I can.”

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