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Doomed Roxy Saved By Sartorial Saint

gayangel.jpg
Big news in Gayville! How big? Well, so big that HX Magazine apparently had to stop their presses to include the story in Friday’s issue. (Although, we were under the impression that Next Magazine – which actually owns the printer – went to press first and that HX typically didn’t finish printing until mid-morning Friday, but whatever…)

Those of you who live in New York, have been to New York or know that New York exists have probably heard of a place called Roxy: a legendary, legendarily sweaty club where homos dance shirtless, snort openly and snog like maniacs.

If you know that, you may also know that the former warehouse space has been on the chopping block for the past few weeks. Due to “forces behind our control” (read: tax evasion), the boys were packing their poppers and glitter in preparation for what would no doubt be a tearful, farewell.

According to HX, however, some mysterious – and appropriately rollerskate clad – angels have come to the rescue:

Roxy manager Jason McCarthy phoned to inform us that the day had in fact – at least at press time – been saved, thanks to a group of wealthy investors who love Roxy’s rollerskating (including one famous designer who rarely misses the Wednesday night party).

Let us rejoice! We still have a place where a mere $40 allows us all the drugged-out, slutty homo-hoppers we want! Not only that, but we’ll no doubt get some STDs for free! God, we love New York…

We haven’t been to Roxy in years, so we’ve got no clue as to who this disco loving designer may be – if anyone out there wants to venture a guess, we’re all ears. We’re assuming it’s not Karl Lagerfeld.

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Nov 9, 2006
Tagged: , , , , , ,

  • 5 Comments
    • nedhead
      nedhead

      Because if the Roxy didn’t serve as the hub of the gay universe in “OK you’re gay now STFU” Republican New York, Mayor Bloomberg’s goon squad would have to find another place to corral those disgusting faggots where they can be watched. If they aren’t careful those fags might move into Chelsea or The Village or some other heterosexual neighborhood. I’m putting on my white wings and g-string to go dancing. I may not have a place to live in NYC but I look good, that’s what’s really important.

      Nov 9, 2006 at 10:38 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Leland
      Leland

      “Give me liberty or give me Meth!” Relax, bois, AIDS is just God’s way of thining out the herd.

      Nov 9, 2006 at 7:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Chris Rako
      Chris Rako

      I went to Roxy shortly after I turned 21, which was 3 years ago. I recall two things about the place. Go gos with their cocks hanging out and dixie cup sized drinks that cost 12 dollars.

      Nov 10, 2006 at 4:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Roxy Queen
      Roxy Queen

      I (unfortunately) went to Roxy on Saturday. It was lame. crappy house vodka that costs $9, and if you want anything decent be ready to shell out $12, and if you want red bull in it, another $3 on top of that. And if you don’t tip be ready to wait a good 15 minutes for your next drink.

      I am not surprised it’s all old shirtless men on crystal trying to pretend they’re still 20. Well guess what bitches, YOU AINT 20!

      Dec 5, 2006 at 1:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ALICE
      ALICE

      THE ROXY IS THE BEST CLUB TO HAVE THE REAL THING! I THANK GOD EVERY DAY TO HAVE SUCH AN AMAZING FUN SAFE VENUE TO GO FLYING INTO THE AIR DANCING ENCHANTED IN EXTACY LIKE THEGODS I SEE IN MY DREAMS!

      Dec 23, 2006 at 4:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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