After having his private parts splashed all over the web yesterday, Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is mounting his response. It begins with this statement: “It is unfortunate that individuals and other outside parties are trying to profit from material which is clearly private. I have had the privilege to speak to people across the country, both gay and straight, on a number of critical issues including safe sex. More important than the embarrassment of this incident is the misleading message these images send. I apologize and cannot emphasize enough the importance of responsible sexual practices.”
The guy seen in the photos was someone Lance was dating at the time, reports Marc Malkin.
Larry
No apology needed… Those were some hot photos đ
Jeff
If Dustin wants to be a real hero to the community he’ll be a spokesperson for the fact that HIV and AIDS is a myth. Not that they don’t exist, but that they are not nearly as wide spread as people think. He has nothing to be ashamed of or to apologize for. He’s not at risk.
TANK
@Jeff:
Meth is a horrible drug, and causes irreversible brain damage…as evidenced by this poster’s recommendation.
7SnowyNights
@Jeff: Right. Because all those people died from SPACE CANCER that ALIENS put in their BUTTS while they were SLEEPING.
Jeff
@TANK: I’ve never once done meth, moron. But I do have unprotected sex because the people I sleep with are not a risk. I know them. I use my judgment. Look at the porn community and how much unprotected sex they have, they are all negative. Dustin is doing exactly what most of the gay community does. This isn’t the 80’s.
Arthur
@Larry: Precisely. A beautiful man had consensual sex. Big deal.
TANK
@Jeff:
Oh me oh my…
ChristopherM
@Jeff:
They THINK they’re negative. People lie.
Lee
@Jeff: What an irresponsible and idiotic statement. AIDS and HIV will NEVER be a “myth,” even if the incidence rate declines or a cure is found. You sound just as bad as some of the right-wing crazies down here in GA–perhaps even worse because your actually gay and turning your back on an extremely serious problem.
Kit McCollum
@Jeff:
Sadly, today’s NY Times published a report that HIV infections are up among porn performers, and apparently the health initiative within the sex industry isn’t being as diligent in protecting the actors as it’s mission would indicate.
But you are right. As an adult, one can make one’s own decisions. I just hope yours do not come back to bite you in the ass, because living with HIV is no picnic despite the glossy ads in Out and The Advocate.
Jeff
@Kit McCollum: The straight porn community is having an issue with it and it’s because of drug use, not sex. Open your eyes and look at the gay online porn world – Jake Cruise, Cocky Boys, Cocksuremen, Chaos Men, HDK – unprotected sex day in and day out, month after month and NO HIV/AIDS reported. It’s not worth arguing about, not online. Dustin is proof. I’m proof. The pornstars are proof. IT’S A MYTH! You’ve just been suckered into buying the condoms and living in fear.
SteamPunk
@Jeff:
I hope you’re being sarcastic, but if not, then here goes…
“Look at the porn community and how much unprotected sex they have, they are all negative.”
Uh… no they’re not: http://tinyurl.com/mrzgfg
“Dustin is doing exactly what most of the gay community does.”
No way to prove that. However, even if a lot of people do it, it doesn’t means it’s a good idea. I’m sure you agree.
“This isn’t the 80’s.”
You’re right. Actually FEWER people had HIV/AIDS in the 80s. Which is all the more reason to be as safe as possible today: http://tinyurl.com/mpookv
Best of luck to you đ
Jeff
@SteamPunk: That is the Straight porn community and not the gay porn community. Where is the gay porn community scandal? Thought so…
Dabq
Apology not required, but, for crying out loud have enough sense not to take such photos with a trick and enough sense to use a condom with said trick.
And, could someone tell me why all the posters here keep saying the guy is “hot?” Is it him or his money?? My guess would be those who say HIV isn’t real in the gay community.
The Gay Numbers
@Dabq: Read the last line of the statement.
“The guy seen in the photos was someone Lance was dating at the time, reports Marc Malkin.”
So, unless trick now means dating, I think you are mistaken.
What this is demonstrating to me more than anything is how fucked up the gay community is. Where does trust and affection enter your world view, if at all?
I know someone will say “but this proves there are liars.” Trust and affection does not mean one walks around with rose colored glass about this reality. The point is what’s wrong with you that your standard is to blame the person who has his trust abused rather than blame the party abusing the trust. What kind of gay community do you want to have? One where we are so jaded that even in the context of a relationship guys 5 years in are saying “well you know he’s a gay man so I can not trust him.” And, yes, I talked to a guy who once said that to me.
Let me also, ask the question, I asked in the previous diary: Would you make the same arguments to a straight couple who are dating each other exclusively?
Prof. O. G. Whataschnozell
Dustin if I were you I would have asked point blank “can we possibly see yours” and left it at that.
Fuck these people. It is your life and you do not have to be an apologist for anything you do behind closed doors with your other half. You were two consenting.
People need to learn to mind their own business. Hell, we can’t all be like Tank.
Alan
@Jeff:
“Roughly half of the actors in gay pornographic films are HIV positive, health officials estimate,”
I hope you realize that all the guys in those HDK videos are HIV-infected:
“Hot Desert Knights also assumes its actors are HIV-positive and therefore is unrepentant about making films without condoms”
http://www.aegis.com/news/Lt/2004/LT040417.html
And as for Jake Cruise and others who film bareback in Eastern Europe, you may find this illuminating:
“The Czech documentary âBodies Without A Soulâ shows how much of the Eastern European bareback porn manufactured for European and American markets is made by taking young men who are literally starving and living on the streets and exploiting their poverty by offering them a pittance â sometimes only a bed for the night and enough drugs to fuck â to play Russian Roulette with their lives. Your bareback wank might come at the expense of their lives.”
“..watching the wildly popular phenomenon of bareback porn lowers gay menâs inhibitions against having rubber-free sex too. The more you look at bareback porn and fetishize the condom-free cock, the more likely you are in a moment of horny passion to toss aside a pack of condoms yourself. As bareback porn has swollen in popularity, gay menâs HIV infection rates have been rising for the first time in over a decade.”
http://www.johannhari.com/archive/article.php?id=995
“A majority of gay adult film stars rarely or never discuss their HIV status with prospective scene partners, despite the fact that nearly 30% percent of models are either HIV positive or don’t know their HIV status. In an anonymous survey conducted by TheSword.com over the past few weeks of nearly one hundred performers, porn stars voiced a multitude of concerns over the secrecy they find endemic on sets, expressing nervousness about possible blacklisting and fears of being labeled ‘difficult’ for inquiring.”
http://www.nakedsword.com/press/08feb26.aspx
Perhaps it isn’t the best idea to put your personal health decisions into the hands of porn’s constructed fantasy world.
Jackson
@Jeff:
Jeff: Without question the gay porn industry has been affected by HIV/AIDS. Check out this list of actors who have passed from 1900 to now. Of course, some of the infections listed below happened before our community really knew what was happening. (Thanks to Ronald Reagan ignoring this global health issue.) Yet, without question, HIV/AIDS is a problem that can’t be dismissed as a “myth”.
Deaths from HIV/AIDS are more widespread today due to drug cocktails. Yet, anyone that knows an HIV+ person who takes these drugs knows that they are extremely expensive and have nasty side effects.
Use a condom. Every time. (Monogomous couples excluded, of course.)
Producers of bareback porn are morally bankrupt, in my opinion.
Adam Porn (died 1991)
Al Parker (died 8/17/1992)
Alex Stone (died 1996)
Ben Barker (died 9/28/1995)
Bill Henson (died 2002)
Bill Harrison (died 10/18/1991)
Bob Shane (died 7/1/1997)
Brad Braverman (died 1/10/1996)
Brad Peters (died 5/31/1994)
Brandy Dalton (died August 4, 2006) Br
ett Ford (died 12/25/2001)
Buster (died 1991)
Chet Thomas (died 3/23/1997)
Chris Burns (died 2/26/1995)
Chris Ladd (died 11/14/1990)
Chris Williams (died 9/11/1991)
Christopher Rage (died 4/24/1991)
Clint Lockner (died 6/17/1993)
Craig Markle (died 1993)
Darryl Weld (died 7/24/1991)
David Rockmore (died early-1990’s)
Ed Dinakos (died 7/6/1994)
Eric Stone (died 12/24/1996)
Frank Vickers (died 2/24/1991)
Glen Dime (died 8/12/1992)
Glenn Steers (died 9/17/1994)
Gordon Grant (died early-1990’s)
Jake Corbin (died 9/27/1992)
Jason Steele (died 2/25/1995)
Jeff Lawrence (died 7/31/1994)
Jeremy Scott (died 5/28/1994)
Joe Simmons (died 10/2/1995)
Joe St. Marie (died 2006)
Joey Stefano (died 11/21/1994)
Johnny Rahm (died 2004)
Johnny Rey (died January 18, 2006)
Jon King (died 3/8/1995)
Keith Anthoni (died 1991)
Keith Ardent (died 9/9/1992)
Kip Tyler (died 1995)
Kurt Houston (died 8/23/1997)
Kristian Brooks (died September 2006)
Lance (died 5/26/1991)
Lee Ryder (died 7/10/1991)
Lon Flexx (died 9/15/1995)
Luc Colton (died 5/18/1993)
Lucky Luc (died 3/2/1992)
Mason Flynt (died 1/4/2002)
Matt Gunther (died 5/27/1997)
Melchor Diaz (died 1995)
Morelle DeKeigh (died 1994)
Nice Kevin Mooney (died 2004)
Paul Pellettieri (died October 1993)
Pierce Daniels (died 7/8/1995)
Richard Locke (died 9/25/1996)
Robert Woods (died 1995)
Rocky (died 12/7/2006)
Rod Phillips (died 1993)
Ron Pearson (died 12/10/2001)
Roy Garret (died 4/3/1992)
Scorpio (died 12/24/1998)
Scott Bond (died 10/29/1993)
Scott O’Hara (died 2/18/1998)
Scott Taylor (died 12/22/1994)
Sparky O’Toole (died 8/1999)
Steve Kennedy (died late 1990’s)
Steve Kreig [Steve Craig] (died 9/13/1990)
Steve Taylor (died 2007)
Tim Kramer (died 4/15/1992)
Tony Bravo (died 7/25/1990)
Tyler Regan (died October 1993)
Zeff Ryan (died January 1994)
List from: http://paparotsy.tripod.com/id7.html
eggfu
@Jeff:
Queerty won’t allow me to link to these articles so you’ll have to google the passages to find them. I’m concerned about Jeff so I’m trying this a third time.
“Roughly half of the actors in gay pornographic films are HIV positive, health officials estimate,”
I hope you realize that all the guys in those HDK videos are HIV-infected:
“Hot Desert Knights also assumes its actors are HIV-positive and therefore is unrepentant about making films without condoms”
And as for Jake Cruise and others who film bareback in Eastern Europe, you may find this illuminating.
“The Czech documentary âBodies Without A Soulâ shows how much of the Eastern European bareback porn manufactured for European and American markets is made by taking young men who are literally starving and living on the streets and exploiting their poverty by offering them a pittance â sometimes only a bed for the night and enough drugs to fuck â to play Russian Roulette with their lives. Your bareback wank might come at the expense of their lives.”
“..watching the wildly popular phenomenon of bareback porn lowers gay menâs inhibitions against having rubber-free sex too. The more you look at bareback porn and fetishize the condom-free cock, the more likely you are in a moment of horny passion to toss aside a pack of condoms yourself. As bareback porn has swollen in popularity, gay menâs HIV infection rates have been rising for the first time in over a decade.”
“A majority of gay adult film stars rarely or never discuss their HIV status with prospective scene partners, despite the fact that nearly 30% percent of models are either HIV positive or don’t know their HIV status. In an anonymous survey conducted by TheSword.com over the past few weeks of nearly one hundred performers, porn stars voiced a multitude of concerns over the secrecy they find endemic on sets, expressing nervousness about possible blacklisting and fears of being labeled ‘difficult’ for inquiring.”
Perhaps it isn’t the best idea to put your health decisions into the hands of porn’s constructed fantasy world.
AlwaysGay
Sex is great, USE CONDOMS! Stay protected.
The Gay Numbers
How do we go from discussing a guy who is dating someon to HIV in the porn industry? Do you really think these situations are similar?
Alan
@The Gay Numbers: Comment 11 suggested that Dustin Lance Black and gay porn stars are examples of people who engage in bareback sex without health consequences. In fact 30-50% of gay porn stars are HIV infected.
Jerrold
@Eggfu
*Applause*
The Gay Numbers
@Alan: The response should have been that these two things nothing to do with each other. It’s what I like to call Logical Tourette’s Syndrome, in this variation of the disease the person blurts out something that has no real logical connection to the discussion happening. I have seen it before. The often response is to engage such statements as if they are logical. The person making the statement about the porn industry, for whatever reason, is not talking about Dustin Lance Black’s situation. They are talking about the porn industry. I think that would be factually obvious, and, am saddened I have to even point that its a little bizare to be discussing the HIV rate of porn stars as a response to whether Black should or should not have worn a condom with someone he was dating. Look, I do believe in safety. But part of that is to be able to talk to people realistically without pulling out irrelevant examples that offer us no real insight. Unless you are saying Dustin is a porn star, the porn star conversation is non sequitur.
Addyboo
We all love jizz as much as the next guy. But you have to be careful. One night stands and sex with certain people automatically warrant a condom. But if you’ve been dating a guy for a while, you want to know what he tastes like. Just be careful girls.
Phoenix (Not A Trojan Man, But Still Wears A Raincoat When It's Raining)
“…unprotected sex day in and day out, month after month and NO HIV/AIDS reported.”
@ Jeff,
The key word there is “reported“. No, pornographers don’t report there actors/actresses are riddled with disease, but it doesn’t mean they’re pure as the driven snow, now does it?
p.s. Just ’cause someone says they’re clean, doesn’t mean they haven’t had any sex partners since they were last tested.
The Gay Numbers
@Phoenix (Not A Trojan Man, But Still Wears A Raincoat When It’s Raining): Again- what relevance is your comment here in this context since you don’t know the details of Black’s other than from a video? Or are you saying that’s enough for you to make statements like your you make in your p.s.?
Captain Freedom
Dustin Lance Black owes NO APOLOGY. He is a hero to all of us and any gay person who dare criticize him is a total hypocrite… How many of us give head with a condom (none)? How many people here have slept w someone on the first night (likely everyone)?
Dustin Lance Black made a foolish albeit INNOCENT mistake and no matter what he will always be a role model for gays everywhere and someone who deserves our respect!
allstarecho
After seeing the photos without the censorship, all I can say is, “when’s the DVD come out?” I always thought Dustin was a hottie but wow, nice dick.. and he can take one like a champ too.
ChrisSF
How long before we find out the name of the other guy and can give him the public scorn he so justly deserves for breaching Lance’s trust and embarrassing him in this way? C’mon, you intrepid reporters out there!
TANK
@The Gay Numbers:
If you look at the comments, you’ll notice a person was reporting very harmful information about unsafe sex, and was the first to bring up hiv/aids in bareback pornos. Further, it appears that DLB engaged in unprotected anal sex, which, whether or not one is in a relationship or not, is, in fact, very risky. HIV/AIDS is a gay problem…and if you can’t connect the dots, then I pity you.
Mike Barton
@Jeff: You lose when you tell that fabrication to people who have lost friends and know people living with HIV. We read comments like yours and scream, “Bullsh*t!”
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: I saw that idiot’s post and understood it to be the post of an idiot. This is little like arguing with the crazy guy on the train or a drunk- do you engage them or ignore them?
FInally, Black, once again, engaged in unprotected sex, so what?
That can not be your criteria for including discussions about porn stars and their HIV rate? Seriously? By that definition, as I asked before- are you also counseling straight couples to use condoms in the context of their long term relationships too? What about married couples? Should they be using condoms (because after all men cheat)?
A couple dating each other = porn stars. This is the only way one can make any sense of the robotic responses here.
I honestly don’t expect you to get this. You are not a logical guy who uses judgement. Just someone as per your conversation on areas like religion with rigid robotic responses to life. We will never see eye to eye because while I like to live by rules of thumbs, I don’t like living in the prison of robotic responses tha tyou throw out to every discussion.
Dusty
The real point of this would be, or so it seems, is about celebrity. Perez Hilton publishes these photos with a stern caveat, “NEVER make a sex tape, unless you’re ready for it to leak! Cuz it will happen.” Indeed, and Mr Perez is happy to publish them. We’re happy to view them. The story then invites every crazy opinion about the reality of AIDS, barebacking, penis size and pornography (there are some big leaps here).
It’s unfortunate that someone felt the need to make these images public. If it is Ryan Carnes (who can be seen naked on many, many websites) shame on you.
TANK
FInally, Black, once again, engaged in unprotected sex, so what?
It’s symptomatic of why hiv/aids is a gay disease in the u.s., and why there’s an uptick in serconversion amongst MSM.
A couple dating each other = porn stars. This is the only way one can make any sense of the robotic responses here.
That was a separate point brought up by that “crazy guy”. But gays who are dating aren’t safe from hiv/aids…a lot more unsafe than heterosexuals who are dating–so a condom is a good rule. Serial monogamists are quite at risk, too…
What about married couples? Should they be using condoms (because after all men cheat)?
Depends on the area and the person you’re married to. Yes, they do cheat, and guys on the down low bring up aids to their spouses. Not uncommon.
This is little like arguing with the crazy guy on the train or a drunk- do you engage them or ignore them?
Depends on my mood.
TANK
Yeah, it’s insane that DLB having unprotected anal sex would bring up hiv/aids in the gay community…it’s not like it’s a big problem or anything.
TANK
ANd you’re so right–hiv/aids is totally comparable to a convo about penis size… Huzzah! I’m surrounded by idiots…
M Shane
I’m a little confused at why we would hold Mr. Black in such high and un contendable regard. Anyone who was around in Harvey Milk’s day know that the film was a gross misrepresentation of both Milk and of the Time. All he sems to have done is to misrepresent history for thwe sake of modern assimilationist politics.The film was inaccurate in most all respects; to show S.F. as a predecessor of the modern mainstreaming reaction is simply opportunistic false propaganda.
I can’t imagine that Van Sant made “Milk:’ in good faith, I doubt that Black had the slightest Idea of what he was doing-prettty much what everyone was doing in S.F. durring Milks day with everyone else. Milk was doing it with kids.
Dusty
“Milk was doing it with kids”? “Finally, Black, once again…”?
The mysteries of the universe keep unfolding here.
Prof. O. G. Whataschnozell
@TANK: Tank please go out, get some fresh air and calm down. So help me you make my social life seem on par with Flava Flav.
TANK
@Prof. O. G. Whataschnozell:
Go buy more bareback porn, and exploit some more desperately poor young men. Contribute to the pandemic, you twisted old fuck. Assuming you don’t have sex (old trolls like you seldom do), I highly doubt you’d be having bareback sex if you were to.
Dusty
Does Tank have his own blog?
The Gay Numbers
@Dusty: Exactly.
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: Promiscuity is symptomatic of the HIV rates. The fact gays are told that they should not form lasting bonds. That trust is “stupid.”
Number of partners in combination with risky behavior= increased HIV rate. In Africa for example, the increased number of partners of truckers increased the rate of HIV. This is not something you can argue with. This is simply understandin epidemology here. I would love to see stats that say gays who are monogamously focused or relationship focus have anywhere number of the HIV rate of those who arenot.
I do not say this as judgement. I say this as a way to prevent this aburdity of arguing one size fit all arguments over how to address HIV.
jason
Bareback is fine so long as you’re healthy and you’re doing it with a healthy individual. There is absolutely no reason to wear a condom in this situation.
However, if you’re out having sex with lots of strangers, wearing condoms is the right thing to do.
John
They’re saying the other guy hot because, ya, the erect dick in that pic does look f-in’ delicious. Y’all are afraid to be honest on that. Add a few drinks, maybe a little massage, an evening on the couch with a nice DVD and bottle of wine – and I bet over half of you would have yours legs in the air just like Dustin. In the cold light of sober day, yes, the act seems thoughtless. Oooh irresponsible for the self-righteous out there. But in the deep of the night after a date, movie dancing, drinks: we have all been there — leave the man alone already!! Judge not lest ye be judged.
Fitz
We don’t know a lot of details here, and we shouldn’t. If they were monogamous, and had the same serostatus (and if poz, the same strains), then there is no need to ruin the sex with a rubber. He has made all the right statements about being safe if you are a player. Let it go– it’s none of our business. Personally, I fucking HATE rubbers. I am glad that my partner and I have each other, because otherwise I just wouldn’t bother.
alan brickman
Dustin proves even GAYS can be Self PROMOTING HYPOCRITES….just what this country needs more of….
alan brickman
I thought the film was made by Disney!!??..Everybody knew Harvey Milk was doing it with underage kids…
Tony
Look, to be fair, we do not know all the details behind the photos. Both parties could be neg, or poz. If they are in fact in a relationship, they as consenting adults are the only ones who must weigh the facts and make choices. Very few of us have done the right thing each and every time. He isn’t advocating unsafe sexual practices, he just had sex without a condom, and pics got out somehow. Give him a break. On the bright side, we all know he has a really nice penis.
TikiHead
Everyone knows safe sex causes autism! [/jenny mccarthy]
Tony
As far as being a gay disease HIV is extremely high among heterosexual African Americans. Condoms are a good idea, but we do not have all the facts. Many people serosort. We do not know all the details. C’mon, no one is saying spread HIV. Lighten up people.
Tony
I know many people living with HIV. It is a terrible disease and we should all try to prevent transmission. BUT, we do not have the facts behind the photos, so we might want to restrain our disdain for the parties involved. Just sayin’.
HX
The truth about Gus Van Sant really writing Milk (everyone in Hollywod knows) not this impostor, Black, will be out soon. The Oscar being a fraud and the real deserving writer being recognized — is to come!
Toby
No wonder HIV is still so rampant over 25 years after it’s outbreak. People on here are clueless.
DLB sid he was “dating” the guy. He did not say he was in a committed monogomous relationship. Last I knew you could be HIV + and receive a negative reading after a test. You shouldn’t be having unprotective anal intercourse unless you have had 2 HIV tests 6 months apart from one another and they both come back negative. DLB sent a really bad message to the community. He is an adult and should no better about wearing condoms and not shooting a sex tape.
I guess I can’t be surprised by a guy who sports a hair cut 15 years too young for him. Just another testament to his infantile behavior.
The Gay Numbers
@Fitz: that’s my feeling as well. I have dated guys who were such extremists that they would assume I was cheating because they had a life time of being told that you never can know the truth about he other person. The most extreme however again was a friend of mind who was with his partner for 5 years, and said he didn’t know if he was out there cheating or not. I thought- wow- for some people it never ends.
The Gay Numbers
@Toby: Actually if you weren’t another retard, you would note that everyone has said essentiallywhat you said. That if he was a player, then he should be using rubbers. The issue is we do not know. Neither do you. But you are fuckoing jerk for assuming you know anyway.
Fitz
@Toby: Your info is very very very old. HIV testing has improved. You can confirm a neg result pretty quickly, (within a day of exposure) though to confirm a poz takes 2 weeks.
Your definition of dating might not be the same as his. He didn’t shoot a sex tape. A couple of guys fucked around and played with a camera, and someone decided to exploit it years latter. Never taken a pic of your weiner? Never been young and done something you wouldn’t do today?
TikiHead
@Toby: Toby
“I guess I can’t be surprised by a guy who sports a hair cut 15 years too young for him. Just another testament to his infantile behavior.”
Would you be so kind as to post a link to some info, preferably with pictures, showing which haircuts belong to which age group? I am at a loss, and now suspect I am wearing the wrong hairdo.
TikiHead
It’s a sculpted bouffant with girly-cues on the cheeks if you must know.
Toby
@Fitz:
I was young at one time and still am. Younger than DLB. The man is 35 now and was about 33 at the time of the video. He wasn’t a kid. He was an adult. He should have known better. I understand in the gay world that many gays like to act like children even way past their childhoods, but I think a 33 year old man should no better about practicing safe sex and certainly know if he videotapes himself having sex that it is bound to get out.
As for HIV testing the results do come back quickly but they can be false negatives. You should be tested over a 6 month period to assure that they are true negatives. I don’t know how long Dustin Bareback was “dating” but I have a feeling it wasn’t 6 months since he usuals the casual term “dating”. Remember the man is an academy award winning writer and understands the power of words. If he were in a loving committed relationship he would have gotten that point across.
TANK
Promiscuity is symptomatic of the HIV rates.
You are extremely ignorant about aids and why it’s a problem for gays…
Tony
Toby, the six month window period is outmoded it is six weeks for 99 percent of individuals. Quit the hiv phobic fears rants down. HIV is horrible, but knowledge is power. We do not know what circumstances were involved, especially if these are old pics. Lighten up, you self-righteous whiny person.
Tony
I meant “keep the hiv phobic rants down”.
Fear without fact benefits no one. Just sayin’.Neg but not narrow here.
TANK
It’s dispiriting in a way, but reading through most of these comments…no wonder aids rates are exploding amongst MSM. Children, really…children with adult games.
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: Post links to data supporting your claims, or stop wasting my times with your bullshit. It’s that simple. I am not going to bother with your idiotic posts anymore without your backing up your claims because you are not a trust worthy source.
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: that data by the way- should be linked to HIV rates for those who said they contacted the disease from being in long term relationships versus those who c ontracted from having multiple partners.
TANK
@The Gay Numbers:
Are you for real? You haven’t read anything about the increased rates of seroconversion amongst MSM? What motherfucking planet do you live on? It’s just surprising because otherwise you’re kind of intelligent…but this…epic fail, my friend…epic fail.
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: So no links of data regarding to my specific questions about behavior patterns amongst gay men and HIV rate differences.
The Gay Numbers
@TANK: By the way- I am surprised I am having to tell such an intelligent person this (snark), but telling me the increased rate of HIV infection amongst gay men does not tell me the reasons for why the increase. In terms of epidemology, that’s the question you must answer. Without that information, you are telling me nothing that refutes my statement about behavioral patterns.
TANK
@The Gay Numbers:
What behavioral patterns? LOL! You said that if you’re in a relationship with a guy, it’s all set and you can abstain from wearing a condom. No, that’s just stupidity. Many people get hiv/aids who are in a “monogamous” relationship. LMAO! You can keep qualifying this bullshit, but you just sound like more of an ass….yes, one must say that if two people are hiv neg and have sex, then they’re not going to get hiv/aids from that encounter…so from that, I suppose we can infer that there isn’t a startling jump in hiv/aids rates amongst MSM…idiot.
ANother stupid thing you said was that promiscuity is responsible for hiv/aids increases. No, there are a lot of promiscuous people who play very safe…and are not getting hiv/aids. It’s not promiscuity, then…
TANK
More to the point, you can be promiscuous and gay and practice exclusively safe sex, and you’re very likely not going to get hiv/aids. From that, promiscuity does not explain the dramatic increase in seroconversion rates amongst MSM nationwide.
The Gay Numbers
Still no links. See you later tank. I got work to do. This has been a nice distraction, but I want to go to bed So you can talk to yourself now.
TANK
Why is evweeyone so fucking stupid? Why awent mowah people interrigent, like me?
dgz
@The Gay Numbers: @TANK:
mark your calendars, i *think* i agree with Tank.
The Gay Numbers, here’re some links:
first, on rising HIV levels among MSM:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/112998.php
http://www.hopkins-hivguide.org/q_a/patient/hiv_transmission_and_prevention/monogamous_relationship-when_is_it_safe.html?contentInstanceId=389884&siteId=7151
on infidelity statistics:
http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html
http://www.infidelityassistance.com/infidelity_statistics.php
obviously, i couldn’t find a study that tackled your specific question, and if you implicitly trust your partner, then go to town! but doctors recommend waiting at least 3 — and preferably 6 — months after a neg test to begin unprotected sex with a monogamous partner. how many gay men do you think follow that rule? and with hiv rates rising at 12-13% per year in our community, for me caution is the better part of valor. (not to mention that there are many other health concerns with anal sex… the rectum can be a hazardous place.)
but — and i’m gonna get crucified for this — i don’t even think condoms are enough for casual sex (although this doesn’t necessarily apply to DLB). i’ve met women who became pregnant while on the pill and using prophylaxis, and the odds of that are astronomically small.
but to each his own.
and methinks we’ve wandered off-topic.
chapeau
Jeff::
You are a fool !
scott ny'er
@Toby: so adults are infallible? Nobody makes mistakes. Give me a break.
And the haircut… 15 years too old comment. Puhleese. So when one gets to be over 35, they must wear a certain haircut and can never make mistakes.
You also must think all gays lisp and are hairstylists. I mean, that’s how you seem to categorize things.
Anthony in Nashville
I’m laughing at how people keep throwing out the possibility/excuse of “maybe Black was in a committed relationship.”
Please.
How many young, rich, attractive gay men are in “committed relationships”? Add in his A-list status and he was probably spreading it around on a regular basis.
Windyloo
Hahah. Agism about his haircut? That is like telling a woman she needs to dress less sexy now that she is a woman “of a certain age”. What the hell does that mean? And who’s business is what she wears? In the case of DLB- the man looks ten years younger than he is anyway. Maybe people are just jelous.
As for the other person in the video- from my reading Lance hasn’t said anything about who he is. A source said it was someone he was dating at the time. We don’t know how serious that relationship was.
Qjersey
@Jeff:
So Tank is a “choosy barebacker”
Sorry Tank, I know of at least 3 of my former playmates, who thought that they were barebacking with people “not at risk,” and now they are HIV positive.
Any guy who says “it’d be okay to bareback with you” is probably saying this to other guys too
KyleR
Everyone on here are such stuck ups. Like none of you haven’t done it bareback. I have to wonder how many of you older guys went/go into the bath houses and just go from hole to hole. Seriously. Shut the fuck up. People make decisions based on the moment. When i was with my ex-boyfriend, we eventually did bareback. And guess what? We got tested regularly. Get of the fuckin’ soap box.
F123
Hot, he should do Porn
Anthony in Nashville
@KyleR:
“Like none of you haven’t done it bareback.”
I’m in my 30s and never had bareback anal sex. I realize that puts me in the minority of gay men, but I am too paranoid about diseases to take that chance. That may mean I don’t trust men as far as I can see them, I don’t care.
I’ve known several people who died of AIDS and I guess that also serves as a reminder to wrap it up. A few moments of pleasure isn’t worth a lifetime of meds in my opinion.
Kyle214
@KyleR:
I haven’t barebacked and don’t plan on it. You guys make it sound like we can’t control our sexual desires. Hmmm. Some of you are feeding into what the religious right thinks about us gays. I AM GAY AND I MUST HAVE SEX. I DON’T NEED TO WEAR A CONDOM. Grow up and learn to respect yourselves. Protect yourself.
Sampson
@scott ny’er:
Looking at Toby’s comment I think it was about Dustin being given the out for his mistake because of his age. Toby wasn’t saying that adults don’t make mistakes. It seems odd that a 35 year old man wouldn’t know about safe sex. I’m sure from researching MILK he must have learned about gay rights and the AIDS epidemic that derailed it.
Forrest
I am only a few years younger than DLB. Have always tried to be careful. In college I was part of a group that wandered around campus with baskets full of condoms to hand it out to anyone who wanted one. We were a big hit during parents weekend and when we crossed paths with prospective student tours…HA.
Heck, I even volunteered to do the banana and condom demonstrations. It was drilled into my head.
And even with all that, I hooked up with a hot guy one night who had a very nice and big banana đ My mind kept on telling me to say to him “put on a condom”. But honestly, when you are already fooling around on the couch and the guy on top of is already working his way through your clothes with his hands and mouth it’s all too easy to give in and zone out in the heat of the moment. And go with the flow when it’s time to move down the hall to the bedroom. And that’s what I did.
Was furious with myself the next AM of course. Waited the logical interval and tested negative. Since then I have always played safe outside of monogamous committted relationships. But I can’t say I won’t slip up again. None of us can. Dustin is no different because he has an Oscar. So quit judging.
Jamie
I don’t see how this guy’s sex life is any of our business. If he wants to bareback his boyfriend, what the fuck do you care? Your life is your own responsiblity, not Dustin Lance Black’s.
Pete
Three years ago, before he had any idea that he would be projected into both the national spotlight and the center of the Prop 8 maelstrom, Lance did something a little naughty and probably a lot of fun with a guy who he says was his boyfriend. To my mind, unprotected sex in the context of an exclusive relationship does not constitute unsafe sex. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of becoming famous, and what was supposed to be a personal document was made public.
This incident has resonance with the Michael Phelps bong hit pictures. As a commentator on SNL put it, ‘you’re partying with Michael Phelps and instead of thinking ‘how cool! you grab your camera, take a picture, and sell it to the tabs!’
Sampson
@Forrest:
Thanks for posting a perfect example of hypocrisy. Thankfully you tested negative. Learn to respect yourself more and don’t do it in the future.
I’m 33 and have been out since I was 18. I have NEVER had sex without a condom. Guys have wanted to and I have said no way and I’m the top. It isn’t going to kill any of us to wait until we get a condom or go down to the drug store to buy them. It is even hotter after waiting anyway. Living in the heat of the moment can cost you a lifetime (a shorter one) of suffering.
EM
I guess we can now call him Dustin Bareback. hee hee.
John
Really hate the word “bareback.” It’s a porn word. Bareback carries a raunchy connotation (i.e. sex is dirty). Sex in the context of a committed, exclusive relationship should not be called bareback.
If DLB bottoms to have that beautiful cock inside him, who the hell are we to judge. The snuggly picture of him & the other guy says to me, maybe it was a long-term relationship. But who knows really; why are so many cynics judging him. Terms like bareback are part of the whole “trick” “whore” “one night stand” mentality that unfortunately poisons a lot of gay minds.
Just say: with a condom or without a condom.
The Gay Numbers
@John: “Terms like bareback are part of the whole “trick” “whore” “one night stand” mentality that unfortunately poisons a lot of gay minds.”
This captures the identity projection exactly. They believe that all gay men are whores and lies, or should be presumed to be. It’s the only way the comments here make sense.
Indeed, many think that it was the boyfriend who sold the video, but apparently it was a friend who got a hold of it outside of the ex. Thus, it does not even seem like Black’s trust in the boyfriend was misplaced.
But, none of that matters because of the sex politics of the band of gays who want to treat being gay as something dirty. That’s the underlying mindset here. When I ask people to compare this to a straight couple- would they argue the same of a long term relationship between straights. The question is avoided. The reason why is pretty obvious: It would point out the self hate.
Taylor
@The Gay Numbers:
If a straight couple were “dating” as Dustin Bareback stated he was doing with the man in the picture I would say they should be using condoms as well. Dustin Bareback didn’t say he was in a committed monogomous LTR. He made it sound quite casual.
I understand the point you are trying to make but you have to admit that the risk for HIV infection is far greater amonst gay men then amongst straights.
KyleR
@Kyle214:
@Anthony in Nashville:
You both kinda missed my point. I know that barebacking isn’t for everyone. But when I was in a relationship, we eventually stopped using condoms. That’s the point that I’m trying to make. Everyone on here is all like, wrap it before you stick it no matter what. Even if you have been in a monogamous relationship and are tested regularly. Going bareback involves so much more than just ‘a few moments of pleasure.’ It should show an insane amount of trust in your partner. But so many people on here don’t take that into account. Their all like, THINK OF THE CHILDREN. Sounds just like the Right against the gays.
The Gay Numbers
@Taylor: @Taylor: I am not disputing wht you wrote because you consider the factual circumstances rather than this knee jerkism I see in most of thse comments. I have no idea what relationship black had with this man. My only point, and as been from the start, is that without tha tknowlege making comments about condoms is bizare. We don’t know the circumstances. We don’t know if dating to him means monogamous or dating multiple guys. i d ont pretend to know. I just know the one size fit all “he should be wearing a condom” statements because you see two men having sex is flawed. It depends on the circumstance. I mean- you have people arguing along this thread that even if he were in a monogamous relationship he should have been wearing a condom. They are comparing this to porn. Why? I am happy tring to get at a deeper point about gay men. How destructive we are to one another because its rote rather than communications. I happy to be a guy who does not have sex that often. I happen to be someone who believes in doing so in the context of a relationship. I also happen to be someon e that once I am in a long term relationship (as in over a year is typical for me) then I have no problem saying we get tested often and we can go without protection if that’s what both me and my partner want. There is simiply a difference in behavor and risks. Is there risk with gay men- sure, but if we are going to argue a position let be based on behavior. Not talking points. That’s all I have been saying.
jjm16
@Jeff:
“Look at the porn community and how much unprotected sex they have, they are all negative.”
I hope you’re being sarcastic and just hoping to bait a fire. I enjoy bareback porn and once THOUGHT that was true about most actors who do bareback porn. Then I did my research…
Stars like Dawson, Kristen Bjorn, Josh weston(rumored), all Treasure Island Media actors (and likely many more) are confirmed or assumed HIV+… but you won’t even hear about this in the typical porn blog.
don’t you think it’s odd that so many actors seem relieved (for their health, seemingly, not just reputations) when they cease to do young-and-dumb bareback vids?
TANK
@The Gay Numbers:
Once size fits all is a good rule of thumb. Stop promoting bug chaser culture. It’s self loathing.
Jeff
@Jackson: Like I said, Dude. It’s an 80’s disease. Look at the dates of a majority of those that were infected and died. Early 90’s. Only a handful are 2000 and virtually none past 2004.
AIDS is a myth. It’s making the gay community slaves to condoms and pills.
I think Dustin is a perfect example of the NON-danger of barebacking. I doubt this is the only time he’s barebacked. Get it? It’s okay to bareback.
Teleute83
For those of you refuting the validity of discussing HIV in reply to this article are missing that it’s been an excellent opportunity to highlight what is obviously still a tumultuous topic for us. Why is it wrong for us to go on tangents to discuss something that IS prescient to our lives as gay men?
I don’t think that anyone has posted out of some self-loathing defect. On the contrary, I think that everyone who has posted about safer sex has done so as a knee-jerk reaction to comments that suggest that one should throw common sense out the window, defy stereotypes of gay sex as unsafe sex vis-a-vis straight sex, and completely trust their partner.
It is one thing to trust your partner with something as important as, say, your credit card or checking account, it is quite another to trust them with your life. You can get money back, you can’t get your health or life back.
As gay men, we are at greater statistical risk for HIV than straight men; that is irrespective of our sexual/relationship status. Again: gay men have a higher incidence rate of HIV than straight men. Next: HIV can kill you, make you want to kill yourself, or make your life a living hell. It isn’t the common cold.
So, here’s my logic, for those who seem to believe that posting to a website requires it: There should be a higher threshold of trust in a gay relationship than in a straight relationship before engaging in less safe sexual practices to compensate for the increased statistical risk of transmitting HIV that both partners have because they are gay men. That isn’t self-loathing, it isn’t validating a stereotype that gay sex is dirty sex, it is simply an appropriate risk mitigation strategy in light of the facts.
If gay men and straight men had the same per capita rates of HIV infection, then I’d agree, that logic doesn’t hold. But that unfortunately isn’t the case. And many advocates for safer sex on here who are being called out as prude, self-loathing, and illogical have probably witnessed the human element of that statistic transpiring, either personally, or with friends.
It’s logical to try to save the next man, even if he’s a random virtual poster on Queerty, from contracting HIV by advocating safer sex when you’ve just returned home from a funeral for someone you loved dearly, or remember that day a few months ago when you just wished that your friend hadn’t placed showing how much he trusted his monogamous partner, intimacy, and pleasure ahead of his own health.
HIV doesn’t care about stereotypes or logic. But we ought to.
RIP Andrew
NR
@jjm16:
“Stars like … Kristen Bjorn,… are confirmed or assumed HIV+”
Can you be more specific? By Kristen Bjorn you mean the actors of the studio or Kristen Bjorn director himself? If you mean actors – there are rare bareback scenes of real life partners who are aware of each other’s HIV status, those scenes are on the Director’s Cut versions and not available on retail versions. As for the sex between actors, especially in his famous orgy scenes – its safe sex always.
Christy
I’m not gay I just wanted to ask a question and or make a statement. Doesn’t it pi$$ you all off because Perez Hilton also posted these photo’s? Doesn’t it make him a sell out? In my book it does.
I also attribute what happened with Adam Lambert to Perez Hilton and what he did to Miss California. He comes across as an advocate, but in reality he is a self serving gradnstander. He wins in both causes, gay rights and his wallet. Yes people would have been cruel to Adam but maybe not as harsh?
I really wanted to vent (and get feedback) about Perez, he REALLY made me made. For the record, I would say the same to someone who is straight and has there own agenda.
MakeItNotBeTrue
Guess DLB will now appear in Brent Corrigan’s new flick. Role model? LOL…
edgyguy1426
“I have had the privilege to speak to people across the country, both gay and straight, on a number of critical issues including safe sex. ” Well depending on if he continues these talks, it could either blow up in his face or he could use it as a learning tool. (oh, that sentence is fraught with double entendre possibilities)
Mike
@MakeItNotBeTrue: “Guess DLB will now appear in Brent Corrigan’s new flick. Role model? LOL⌔
Interesting that you say that…did you see this video?
http://tinyurl.com/Dustin-with-Brent
There’s Brent with Dustin last year. Are we still gonna put this guy up on a pedestal?
He’s a barebacker who likes to party. Gay community, meet thyself.
Jeff
@Mike: Brent Corrigan is a perfect example. Look how much bareback he’s done, including escorting. None of his co-stars have become POZ he’s still negative.
Myth.
Jeff
They found the fuck buddy.
The guy is an escort, runs a webcam site and sleeps around.
http://www.queerclick.com/archive/2009/06/breaking_dustin_lance_blacks_bareback_fu.php
So, still think HIV/AIDS is real?
Matt
Both these guys might as well back the dick truck up. They are gonna get so laid — with or without condoms.
Jeff
Jeff, if you want to delve into conspiracy theories pick one witha a little more credibility like Obama’s “fake” birth cirtificate or that man never landed on the moon. As nutty as those are, they are more plasuable than hiv not causing AIDS. sheesh
go ahead and inject yourself with HIV infected blood, since your brain is dead you might as well bring the body along.
jeff4justice
Bravo to those who use condoms. If the economy collapses, HIV+ gay men are not going to be at the top of lists for social services.
If you make a sex tape (actually for most of these days it’s digital) or take xxx photos, they’ll inevitably get leaked. Don’t do it if you can’t live with it.
I have many XXX photos of me and I’ll be pissed if they get leaked before I release them LOL.
My goal is to be the first openly-gay, YouTube vlogger living in an SUV cast on Dancing With The Stars and then my sex vids can be released. Then I become an activist porn star after I get skinny. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly though, I’m a porn star trapped in the boy of a fat guy.
Follow my journey at jeff4justice.com
AJ
@Jackson:
I know I’m very late in on this, but I have to correct Jackson on his list of adult performers who allegedly died of AIDS:
Joey Stefano and Johnny Rahm did NOT die of AIDS. Stefano was HIV-positive, but he died of a drug overdose. Rahm committed suicide (hung himself).
You could say “well, if they weren’t HIV-positive, they wouldn’t have felt the need to overdose of kill themselves” — but that would be an unfair and untrue statement.
Who’s Dustin Lance Black anyway? What’s he done lately? đ
Amalgamate
@Larry: -huh? he is NOT hot. You need to raise the bar man
Amalgamate
@Jeff: -wow, youre an idiot