Father’s Day was nearly three weeks ago, but Dwayne Schrock only recently received a card from his son, Dwayne Jr. Oh, and it was 26 years late.
The year was 1989 when Dwayne Jr. wrote to his dad, and their relationship wasn’t exactly rock-solid.
Schrock didn’t approve of his son being gay, opting to be largely absent from his life as Dwayne Jr.’s health deteriorated due to AIDS-related illness.
The card bounced around the nooks and crannies of the U.S. Postal Service, continuing its bizarre journey well past Dwayne Jr. died in 1995.
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And while it’s not exactly poetry, the message couldn’t be clearer — Dwayne Jr. wanted to bridge the gap with his father:
Dear Dad,
We haven’t been in touch for quite a while. I’m doing fine, and am very happy in Richmond. I’d like to hear from you. Have a happy Father’s Day.
Love,
Dwayne
Now 87 years old, Dwayne is appreciative of the long-lost note.
“I still kind of tear up when I think about it,” he told ABC News.
Schrock said that before his son died, he had asked him “if he made peace with God because I want to see him in heaven.”
While we can’t say much to meeting in heaven, we hope Schrock has made his own peace with the son he loved.
Watch the news clip below:
Robert J Zeleniak
His son’s spirit was speaking to him
Celtic
Ya know, I just cannot get it. In the hours his son likely wanted and needed him most, “Dad” turned his back. How sad is this! My dad and I had a terribly rocky road, not because I am gay but for other reasons that would take far too long to discuss here. After he separated from my mother and he moved back to the Midwest, I invited him to spend time with me in my new home. He never responded. He refused to reconnect with my mother and me. I so much wanted to heal those wounds, but he blocked me out. But at least I tried. Some doors just never open, but one does not know that for certain until they have at least knocked. This father never even bothered to knock.
ted72
There’s no evidence of a deity. He should have made peace long before his son’s passing. This is an example of wasted time. The cost is far too high.
Kieran
Incredible that in this day and age some people in the media are still using the term “gay lifestyle”. When was the last time you heard anyone in the media refer to the “heterosexual lifestyle”. People who are gay have a sexual orientation—not a lifestyle choice.
TampaBayTed
Does your website have a policy against typing too fast? I frequently get that message after commenting. I’ll try to be more sloth-like and oafish.
Tony Stokes
Some people are so busy chasing heaven than they ignore the Hell they create on earth. I hope this man finds some closure. What a tragic waste of precious time.
Atldeuce
I am sure that Duane is in his version of heaven, not so sure that a father who turned his back on his dying son will be able to say the same. I disgusts me that he can still make a joke about it ” restoring his faith the USPS”. How about, ” I feel like a jerk for rejecting my son and I regert my decision every day. I realize now that Jesus never denied or turned anyone away and I was wrong to do that to my own son. “
BigG
The love for your child should be more powerful than hate. That’s putting conditions on love. This man did not truly love his son. His son died without his father’s love. That’s the real tragedy. This old hateful fart is selfish and not a real man.
Chris L. Reynolds
I hope that this Father can now sense what anguish his inexorable position caused his Son to feel,and now that he is gone,how his alienation must have felt like!
Curty
I hope somewhere in this guys bigoted heart that he thinks about what he did turning his back on his son because he was gay. I hope this old man feels shame before he finally passes away. I told my parents I was gay and they didn’t turn on me. My own conservative Christian mom didn’t. How could a parent do this to their flesh and blood. What a despicable person.
Curty
Abc should know better. “Gay lifestyle” this is not 1989. The country in most educated areas no longer refer to a sexual orientation As a lifestyle. Was this an affiliate station in Alabama, Arkansas?
Me2
Stories like these are what I remember from the horrible AIDS epidemic — intolerant parents kicking their young dying gay children in the gut as they lay on their death beds. It’s heart wrenching to think back to those days and all of the atrocities that gay men faced. But if nothing else, the timing of the card’s arrival is almost poetic justice. As I can only hope that in the face of his own mortality, this card has brought about some regrets causing him to be haunted by his own actions towards his own child.
Me2
@Tony Stokes: You summed it up PERFECTLY!!! I’ll definitely be using that line.
wilfredo267
@Kieran: l agree l’m so sick and tired of that term.
BlueDude
No doubt this father has felt anguish over this lasting event, and that it may become even more poignant as he nears death. Likely, I’ll be ridiculed here, but I feel the son’s spirit has touched him, and the father can respond in kind, if he gets his own soul right.
ppp111
@Tony Stokes:
@Me2:
I agree Me2. I like that line. I’ll be using it as well.
Cam
He deserves any amount of sadness he feels looking at that card. He abandoned his son.
SonOfKings
@Curty: I’m a gay man and I love the term “Gay Lifestyle.” We should have never let it go out of fashion. In my book the term “Gay Lifestyle” invokes images of class, sophistication, style, and respectability. Why should not be ashamed of our association with this style of living. I feel very honored to be on the cutting edge of the “Gay Lifestyle.” And I consider it a compliment to be considered so conected.
Sam Oropeza
Chris
@Tony Stokes: I agree.
Honestly, it’s too late for that father to do anything other than to make his peace with what he did.
Knowing how my own father reacted to the death of one of my sibs from whom he had been alienated (and not for issues of sexuality either), I can empathize with that father’s anguish.
However, if this story touches the heart of just one (preferably more) father(s) who is at odds with his son (or daughter) over sexuality (or for any other reason, for that matter) and if it can lead to him reaching out to repair that relationship, then some good has come out of this very sad event.
Finrod
@TampaBayTed: “Does your website have a policy against typing too fast?”
I had that happen yesterday. I made two comments, not quite five minutes apart, and I got a page telling me to “slow down”. There’s obviously something buggy about the comment system since about a quarter of all comments are doubles.
OhHellNo
I kind of wish the card had said “What a shitty father you were. Give up on that Heaven thing.”
David Bolton
@Atldeuce: I feel the same. What struck me about this story was that the anchor person was on the verge of tears, while the father seemed to be unimpressed (or under-impressed) about it, other than that speedy ole mail service… bless them!
Ogre Magi
“Schrock said that before his son died, he had asked him “if he made peace with God because I want to see him in heaven.” ”
WHAT A ROTTEN OLD TURD , PROSELYTIZING HIS SON ON HIS DEATH BED
da90027
This is exactly why people need to pull the stick out of their ass and stop trying to get others to live their life the way they want. This story proves by the time most people learn a god damn thing it’s too friggin late.
I feel sorry for this guy but he made his own bed. It is a shame most wait until they are almost dead of old age before they learn how to be a human being.
thiesan
@TampaBayTed: Best post I have read thus far!!!
thiesan
@da90027 I think the father’s biggest problem was the stick up the ass. 😉 (Just a little levity) I agree the dad could/would not accept his son for who he was and lost out on the precious time they had.
thiesan
@Ogre Magi: Could not agree more. I hope the old gay has made peace with his decisions because regardless of whether his son is on “heaven” or not he will not be going there. Hateful people hide behind their religions and preach their scriptures; they never consider the fact that they themselves are breaking so many of their tenets by judging and looking down on others.
onthemark
@SonOfKings: “Lifestyle” is a condom.
But it’s funny that you think you’re on the “cutting edge” of the “gay lifestyle.” Just a few days ago you were telling us how you’ve given up even trying to find gay male friends, because you said “gay culture” is “toxic”!
Now suddenly you’re Cole Porter at the piano, extolling the “gay lifestyle”? How strange.
Zenguy
@Kieran:
Referring to one’s sexuality as a lifestyle always grates on my nerves. It’s even worse when the term is ignorantly used by gay people, because it just reinforces a stereotype. There is no universal gay or straight lifestyle!
Bob LaBlah
We all know how tragic the ending of this story was but what we have to also look at is the unknown. That being not knowing what type of environment the father was raised in. My father was distant and quite cold toward all of us but as the years went on I discovered through our conversations that his father NEVER hugged him nor his sisters. His father’s father (my great grandpa) did not show emotion toward him either. It goes back to the late 1800’s but not all families have happy genes (at least thats how I look at it). Its almost like alcoholism or drug addiction. And its effects can go generational.
The guy may have had a messed up childhood and hoped for a pal/buddy in his son but couldn’t deal with the kid being gay and sick. Parenting means sharing and sacrifice that not everyone can do. Who knows? At least that is what I am going to think, right or wrong.
jason smeds
Don’t blame the father. He has a right to be concerned about the homosexual lifestyle. The homosexual lifestyle – as opposed to the homosexual orientation – is fraught with temptation towards unbridled promiscuity. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Sex, sex, sex…and with totally anonymous partners, too.
It’s not a healthy choice to make.
1EqualityUSA
I’ll never forget the faces of those who were abandoned by family during the AIDS crisis. We would be their family, but it was a paltry second.
Bob LaBlah
@jason smeds: Go on. Go on. Don’t stop that short. Tell us, oh young princess, how much you spend on tiara’s, six inch high heels, black fishnet stockings and fourteen inch Bam toys each year.
McShane
@jason smeds: You’re like the human version of a raw kale salad. You’re bitter as f*ck.
AtticusBennett
far too many people cling to bigotry for years, wasting time, and miss out on getting to be a part of their children’s lives.
was it worth it? having no contact all those years because you just stubbornly refused to ATTEMPT to understand and learn something?
life is precious. it can be taken at any moment. it’s staggering the high number of people who will disregard this reality and waste years, decades, because they stubbornly want to be “right” about being anti-gay.
Curty
Post like this makes me thankful, more thankful of my own parents… my worse fears never came to be true. I was never disowned and treated with respect. My mom had questions and beliefs are her beliefs but thankfully it has not interfered in our relationship.
Robby Chambrella
Keep personal stories to yourself. Who the he’ll needs to contact the media all the time.
ChutneyGray
I feel sorry for the both father and son. The son trusted the postal service to deliver his Father’s Day card on time, which did not happen. And, the father never knew that his son wanted to reconnect with him. My own father rejected my being transgender to the point that he beat me until I was old enough to run away from home. Even after I was grown our relationship was tenuous at best. My father died before his time, due to his chosen lifestyle of everything to excess. He smoked like a factory, drank like a sewer pipe, and ate anything he felt like in large quantities, as often as he could. He had a serious eating disorder. As things like this can turn out, I was the only one with the strength to be with him the day he died. I hope Mr. Schrock can find peace before he dies in misery.
SonOfKings
It is best to let go and let God. Father and son never reconciled because it was not in God’s plan. The so. Is dwelling in the hous of the Lord at this time. The best the father can hope for is some sort of redemption. They will surely be reuinited in the after life, as God wills it.
Craig Bankert
The universe just opened to tell this man “you’re an a-hole”.
1EqualityUSA
We learn from each other. If this story prevents this from happening even just one more time, it will have been worthwhile.
Glücklich
@Bob LaBlah:
Good, glad someone said it first. Thumbs up to your entire post.
My father probably hoped for a pal in me, too, but I am IT. Only child. We don’t NOT get along but just don’t have anything in common. I’ve long since stopped feeling guilty about it.