Ellen’s Gardener Is Blinding Us With His Biceps; Cristiano Ronaldo Is All Oiled Up

This week, James Corden discovered true love with Keith from BuzzFeed, John Stamos came thisss close to being the bisexual hooker of our dreams and Tom Hiddleston is happy to get naked for the right reason. Here’s what happened on Instagram:

What’s as hot as George Burgess? Possibly his two brothers.

Three white pommies trying to get aussie tans in our #budgiesmugglers , the Aussie towels might help us! @budgysmuggler @thomasburgess @lukeburgess87 loving the sun up in Queensland! ??

A photo posted by George Burgess (@george.burgess) on Sep 21, 2015 at 6:19pm PDT

Ian Somerhalder has a pussy cat on his lap.

#tbt Season two of The Vampire Diaries- just after starting #ISF aka The Ian Somerhalder Foundation. Exhausted after a long winter day and napping with my kid. What would life be like without our adopted babies..? Millions of shelter pets lose their lives each year without finding forever families. Share your pro-pet adoption message, story or photo with me using #LightForPets to help them find loving, safe forever homes! Please, let’s make shelter, stray and abused dogs and cats part of our families. Adopt this week? This month? This year? Do it. Please. Share your stories-thank you go to: http://www.remembermethursday.org/ A photo posted by iansomerhalder (@iansomerhalder) on Sep 24, 2015 at 8:18pm PDT

All those hours spent toiling as Ellen’s gardener sure has inflated Billy Reilich‘s biceps.

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Quick stop on my way to Vegas. @mr.olympiallc Can’t wait to see all my big friends! And hopefully meet some new ones!

A photo posted by Billy Reilich (@billreilich) on Sep 18, 2015 at 8:58am PDT

The truth is, Adam Lambert‘s always loved you.

Don’t Cry For Me Argentina A photo posted by ADAMLAMBERT (@adamlambert) on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:52pm PDT

We’ll bet Colombia loves you, too, Eliad Cohen.

Colombia, te amo ????

A video posted by Eliad Cohen (@eliad_cohen) on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:23am PDT

Let’s play peekaboo, Cristiano Ronaldo.

A photo posted by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:23am PDT

Russell Tovey is wigging out over his best friend Rocky.

Current situation #wig #rocky #devon

A photo posted by Russelltovey (@russelltovey) on Sep 25, 2015 at 10:47am PDT

Sam Smith woke up screaming over his hit 007 theme.

A photo posted by Sam Smith (@samsmithworld) on Sep 25, 2015 at 6:30am PDT

Jussie Smollett got to meet his idol.

When you’re about to take a picture with your idol and he whispers to you “Anyone ever tell you ya ugly?”. ??? I’ve never been happier to meet someone as I was to meet the great Mr. #HarryBelafonte. I’m here because of you. #MyHero ?????? #Sankofa

A photo posted by Jussie Smollett (@jussiesmollett) on Sep 16, 2015 at 5:58pm PDT

Zac Efron was just clowning around.

A photo posted by Zac Efron (@zacefron) on Sep 23, 2015 at 3:53pm PDT

The Rock threw back to when he had a full head of curls.

My nightmare aka my very first TV “appearance” when I was 11yrs old. At a WWE TV taping in Allentown, PA. Since my dad was always on the road wrestling, any father/son time we got in was great, so I was super pumped to travel with him. It was backstage that I’d meet a man who years later we’d enjoy tremendous success together and he’d become one of my strongest mentors in business – Vince McMahon. I’ll never forget he shook my hand, looked down at me and said “We gotta get you on camera tonight young man!”. I thought, “WHOA I’m gonna be on TV… can’t wait to tell my friends… AWESOME!”. So I’m sitting there in the crowd, the camera man comes over and tells me he’s getting ready to shoot so be ready.. It was in that defining moment that I just realized something awful… I was just getting over a bad case of Chicken Pox (you can clearly see a few “post pox” on my face) and I thought “Holy sh*t this is terrible! The world will see me for the first time and I look like someone set fire to my face and stomped it out with cleats”. Looking back at this gem of a picture, there’s two things I’ve learned: Things are never as bad as they seem (especially at 11yrs old) and instead of worrying about my Chicken Pox I should’ve been concerned with the world questioning whether I was a boy or a girl. Which, for the record happened all the time to me when I was a kid. #PrePubertyWasABitch #StopWorryingSweatheart #GetYourLittleAssInTheGym #TBT

A photo posted by therock (@therock) on Sep 24, 2015 at 8:52am PDT

Max Joseph took in the London skyline.

London gets me every time. Love this place. ?? Thanks @me_londonhotel for the lovely stay and the bloody good view. Hope to be back soon on another secret mission. A photo posted by Max Joseph (@maxjoseph) on Sep 25, 2015 at 12:37am PDT

Steve Grand enjoyed a bit of the old In-n-Out.

@innout #blessed

A photo posted by Steve Grand (@stevegrandmusic) on Sep 23, 2015 at 12:50pm PDT

Michael B. Jordan is a fighter and a lover.

My Toughest Opponent #creed Photo cred: @eli_joshua A photo posted by michaelbjordan (@michaelbjordan) on Sep 20, 2015 at 1:42pm PDT

We’ll keep it down if you will, Sachin Bhatt.

Singing Voice Over sesh for something coming up! Shhhh can’t say yet. ? EMMYS!!! #indian #singer #session #tv #emmys?? ??? ????: @timothyjoelwright

A photo posted by s a c h i n b h a t t (@sachinbhatt) on Sep 14, 2015 at 1:56pm PDT

Andy DeVine has had it up to here.

Bury me alive! Nothing will stop my text game! #workaholics A photo posted by Adam Devine (@andybovine) on Sep 25, 2015 at 9:49am PDT

Nev Schulman is hare-ier than ever.

bday weekend is finally hare! ?: @el_peego

A photo posted by Nev Schulman (@nevschulman) on Sep 25, 2015 at 6:20am PDT

We bet Chris Hardwick and Jimmy Fallon will have some really funny babies.

I hope you don’t mind @lydiahearst but I also got engaged to Jimmy Fallon because Micky Dolenz, Phantogram & Big Boi all pressured me into it. We’re all on The Tonight Show tonight w/ Joseph Gordon Levitt. #IsThisRealLife A photo posted by Chris Hardwick (@nerdist) on Sep 24, 2015 at 4:03pm PDT

Finally, there’s proof that Andrew Rannells and Jonathan Groff are two different people.

A photo posted by Jonathan Groff Updates (@jonathandrewgroff) on Sep 25, 2015 at 2:48pm PDT

Actor-author Darryl Stephens is beautiful inside and out.

Article on #REQUIREDREADING in the latest issue of OBVIOUS MAG. Interview by @jerrismogul and photos by @dexterbrownfoto A photo posted by Darryl Stephens (@darrylstephens) on Sep 25, 2015 at 3:22pm PDT