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Engagement Rings for Men? Really?

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We don’t want to offend any male readers who actually wear engagement rings — or are about to propose to their partners with one — but whenever we hear about new “trends” like finger jewelry for men, all we think of is “ugh, another marketing campaign from De Beers.”

But it piques our interest into the gay male psyche: Is this something gay guys can pull off? How do you make a diamond engagement ring “masculine” (or at least so it doesn’t look like the ring your grandfather gave your grandmother)?

And for the ladies out there: Are you both wearing engagement rings, or only the girl who was proposed to?

By:           editor editor
On:           Jul 16, 2009
Tagged: , ,
  • 36 Comments
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      There is NOTHING wrong with male engagement rings. Personally, I would love to give my man a ring or get a ring from my man if we were to reach that point. You can get decent looking finger jewelery that does not look like it is what your grandfather gave your grandmother. Not to mention, damn I wouldn’t mind having the ring my grandfather gave my grandmother. It was a 7 carat diamond clear cut on a 24 ounce gold band. The ring itself (especially with the fact that it is now an antique) is probably worth 5-10k in today’s market.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Justin
      Justin

      Platinum, Channel Setting, diamonds wrapped around the entire ring. See link:

      http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41Rhb03VDUL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

      Classy and Masculine, its what my hubby wears whereas I went for simple solid metal.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:42 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Richard in DC
      Richard in DC

      My mother actually gave my father an engagement ring after my Dad proposed to my Mom. It was a gold band with a Star Sapphire in it. I’ve always wanted the same thing, and hope that when full Marriage Equality arrives in DC, my partner will give one to me.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sioraiocht
      sioraiocht

      “We don’t want to offend any male readers who actually wear engagement rings — or are about to propose to their partners with one — ”

      Then maybe you shouldn’t make such biased headlines.

      Anyway, my fiancé and I are both wearing engagement rings. And they don’t have any effing diamonds on them either. They’re both made of precious metals inlaid with hardwood, and have been met with nothing but admiration.

      If we’re all about establishing our own traidtions, why is it assumed our engagements have to look traditional?

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Justin: That is an awesome ring. I’m not sure I would have went with diamonds seeing I personally don’t like diamonds that much. The design is flawless though. Personally, I’m a star-sapphire person (or even normal sapphire person). I’ve been in love with dark blue stones ever since the “Jewel of the Ocean”.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Richard in DC: This is meant with exactly no disrespect…but why wait? Just because the law might be ran by bigoted idiots doesn’t mean you have to wait to get engaged is my thought.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @sioraiocht: I would gladly wear my boyfriend’s ring. There is absolutely no question about it. Its kind of a personal dream that I some day get that opportunity to wear the ring of my boyfriend/fiance/husband, and because I believe in true life long commitment, if I ever get that ring its never coming off.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:50 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      I’m not big on a ton of jewlery, so I figure if I get married then just the wedding ring will be enough. But hell, if the person I’m with loves Jewlery, I could get them a ring. I think though, much more fun would be an “Engagement Trip”. i.e. Will you marry me, and here are two tickets to (Insert name of vacation destination).

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • gayvirgo
      gayvirgo

      I gotta go with Sioraiocht here: Why would you think that men can’t have engagement rings? Your headline and lead paragraph lead me to believe that you think it is a poor idea, rather than just a unique one.

      For a site that is trying to further gay rights and (hopefully) smash stereotypes I would hope that you would applaud rather than question the notion that same sex couples should celebrate their engagments in an EQUAL fashion to straight couples.

      Open your mind. Don’t be so tied into YOUR stereotypes. If you really want marriage equality how about you start with notion that what an engagement ring signifies should not be limited to straight couples, or even women. Engagment rings are sweet, stylish, and sexy, especially on men!

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Cam: A ring actually lasts for ever and is a symbol of a bond that is supposed to last forever. A vacation last for a week and is a symbol of a relationship that is supposed to last for a week. Not judging, just stating my opinion.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Geoff M
      Geoff M

      I think the “engagement” designation conjurs up a princess cut ornate setting. Plenty of men wear rings w/diamonds in them. I gave one to my partner when I proposed. It’s a great ring…nothing feminine about it….and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong w/feminine either.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChristopherM
      ChristopherM

      After my fiancee proposed, I called my mother and this was her response:

      Mother: “Did you get a diamond?”
      Me: “Mom, I’m not a woman.”
      Mother: “Well do I get a diamond?
      Me: “Why should you get a diamond?”
      Mother: “Well someone should!”

      Jul 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Qjersey
      Qjersey

      My partner and I have discussed getting bands with each other’s birthstones inlaid. Of course he lucks out and gets a diamond because I was born in April.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • RobinNYC
      RobinNYC

      My man and I have been wearing rings for years. In fact, this is the third set of rings we’ve had. The first were cheap rolling rings bought in the East Village. I lost the second one at the gym when a naked, very proud Stanley Tucci just wouldn’t put a towel on and I got flustered. Now, we have terrific stainless steel rings we use to signify that we’re ‘off the market’. I just surprised that the concept warrants a posting, snarky or not.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • tavdy79
      tavdy79

      My birthstones are emerald, sapphire and agate so I’ll probably get a ring involving one or more of them. Alternating emeralds and sapphires in a silver ring like the one Justin linked to would look great!

      Jul 16, 2009 at 12:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ChicagoJimmy
      ChicagoJimmy

      Sounds like we’re all in agreement on this one Queerty. I guess us gays are used to modifying tradition to suit our unique needs or are perfectly capable of creating new ones. Or many of us just like to wear rings and getting one from someone we plan on spending the rest of our lives with sounds pretty good.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • J.Lowrot
      J.Lowrot

      @Justin: There is nothing masculine or classy about that ring. My husband and I have plain platinum bands. That’s classy and masculine.

      Hope this helps.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 1:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @galefan2004: you said “Cam: A ring actually lasts for ever and is a symbol of a bond that is supposed to last forever. A vacation last for a week and is a symbol of a relationship that is supposed to last for a week. Not judging, just stating my opinion.”
      __________________________________________________________

      Which is why I said I would wear a “Wedding Ring” But I would rather give my partner an engagement trip or something else in lieu of a 2nd ring. It’s just too much jewlery for my taste. Wedding rings cool, but beyond that I think it would start to look like we were trying to dress up as the Real hosewives of New Jersey or something.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 2:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @J.Lowrot: You said “@Justin: There is nothing masculine or classy about that ring. My husband and I have plain platinum bands. That’s classy and masculine. ”
      _____________________________________________________

      Perfect.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 2:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 7SK
      7SK

      @sioraiocht: Do you have pictures of those rings? The description has me interested.

      @ChristopherM: That’s pretty funny. Gay or straight, when it comes to marriages, mothers get a little freaked out.

      I’d accept a ring if a relationship ever got to that point. I’d give a ring too, but it’d have to be non-traditional, like a wood/crystal/titanium ring. Or does titanium rust? Whatever, that’s still a ways off for me.

      Rings are nice. Dunno what the “Rings for men? BARF!” mentality of the article’s writer is about.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 6:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @ChristopherM: That is so cute.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 6:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Cam: See the way I was seeing this personally is that the engagement ring and the wedding ring would be the same ring. Personally, once he asks me and I put his ring on I don’t need a ceremony. Then again, I’m from Ohio, and the chances of ever being able to get married in my life time are simply not that great.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 6:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Topher
      Topher

      I gave my ex a puzzle ring made of 12 bands that interlocked. When he took it off, it fell apart, and he would have to solve the puzzle! And get his ring back on before I noticed!

      Still wears it 8 years after our parting, bless his heart.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 6:23 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dom
      Dom

      My boyfriend and I have been wearing simple gold bands for the past 4 years. Nothing too complicated or fancy, just a plain band. Once we actually get to tie the knot (gotta love the NYS Senate!!), we might move to something a little more elaborate.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 8:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Dom: I’m not saying that the NYS situation is fair. Its almost like they dangled a carrot in front of your face and then ripped away. Just be thankful you don’t live in a state where an open ballot issue was used to decide that LGBT don’t have the right to marry period.

      I just don’t get it. How is our desire to marry a man any one’s business but our own? If we are happy with someone we should be able to be with them. The fact that we can’t be is ridiculous.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 8:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted C.
      Ted C.

      I don’t understand this article. You can already get diamond rings for men at any jewellery store, even the large chain ones. (The diamonds are usually flush with the surface of the ring, or else they protrude just above it.) They’re common.

      By the way, in some places (like… Germany, I think), men indicate that they’re engaged by wearing a wedding band on their right hand. During the wedding, they pull the band off their right hand and put in on their left hand.

      Sounds like a useful custom to me. You don’t need a separate engagement ring.

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Justin
      Justin [Different person #1 using similar name]

      @J.Lowrot:Obviously you failed to read the question correctly Qweerty asked readers about how to make diamonds look masculine. Good job ^_^

      Jul 16, 2009 at 11:41 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MackMike
      MackMike

      @Qjersey: My husband wanted the same thing. I had a large birthstone for my birth month, but they had been mined out and were (are) very precious and valuable. My father had given it to me. So, my birthstone (Alexandrite) had been replaced with “moonstone” (oooohhhhhaaahhh) and Pearl (good grief). I figured Steve’s just had to be something Pink. The last thing I wanted was a band with a Pearl flanked by two pink stones. Turns out, his was Blue Zircon, as was my father’s. I had just lost my father, who had been terribly close me. His wedding band (he was divorced from my mother…because he was a wise man) was made up of two small diamonds, and one large, from his own mother’s engagement ring. I searched everywhere until I discovered through a friend a jewler willing to cut down my Alexandrite (ruining its value, of course), and I melted down the gold from my Pop’s ring and had it incorporated into both our rings. Steve’s ring has larger stones than mine, his birthstones embraces my own, and in my ring, my birthstones embrace his…every other stone is a diamond, and the rings are chunky and masculine. My ring has my grandmother’s and my father’s diamonds, which just felt right.

      Sorry to share all this, but I sure do miss my father, but my ring reminds me of both my Pop and my grandmother, plus both rings are meaningful to us. We get loads of compliments, and frankly, I enjoy having the sparkling stones to look at from time to time, which was something I hadn’t expected to like so much.

      Frankly, after the struggles we, as a community, have had in expressing our love opennly, in having our love acknowledged and validated by the government, I say have whatever ring you want…you earned it!!!!!

      Jul 17, 2009 at 12:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lcatgoddess
      lcatgoddess

      As to the ladies “what do you wear” question: We both wear engagement rings. Mine is more ornate (my style is more fem) with a princess cut diamond, hers is made up of 3 slim rings with pave (2 white, 1 black) diamonds. Both are gorgeous and suit our personal styles.

      Jul 17, 2009 at 1:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mary-Lynn
      Mary-Lynn

      My husband wore an engagement ring. He bought himself a simple white gold band and I bought myself a simple silver engagement ring since his mother was giving us a diamond for the wedding band. For his wedding ring, I added a yellow gold band down the center of his white gold engagement ring. He had to go a few weeks without the ring just before the wedding, but then the wedding ring was special as well. He surprised me with a custom setting for his mother’s diamond and I wore my engagement ring on my right hand.

      Jul 25, 2009 at 7:01 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Absolute titanium design company
      Absolute titanium design company

      Men wearing rings is not a new phenomenon. Men are fickle about the jewelry they wear, and that makes it difficult for the woman trying to find ideal ring for the special man in her life.

      Jul 30, 2009 at 8:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lex
      Lex

      I know this is an old post but I just stumbled across it and was tickled that even other gay men can be insecure about wearing a diamond or any other gem.

      I don’t think your cock will turn into a vagina if your ring isn’t as dull as possible.

      Aug 12, 2009 at 12:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • chrissy
      chrissy

      I’m straight but I just want to say that engagment rings for men is a good idea! I got my fiance one and he loves it!

      Nov 6, 2009 at 11:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David
      David

      My boyfriend and I got these engagement rings for each other. We both liked the idea of wearing engagement rings and then adding a wedding band to it.
      http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/Item.aspx?sku=GRP00166&mcat=148204&cid=287466&search_params=s+5-p+2-c+287466-r+101323351+101288187-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+

      Nov 23, 2009 at 2:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Aaron
      Aaron

      My hubby and I got married in Canada two years ago and we both wear rings. They aren’t matching but mine is gold with a diamond and his is silver with sapphires and a diamond.

      I love wearing it because it proves to straight people that we are committed and have just as legitimate a relationship as they do. It’s also a great conversation starter. I can’t tell you how many times people asked about my wife after seeing my ring. It’s funny to see the shock on their face when I say I’m married…but not to a woman.

      Jul 10, 2010 at 4:24 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      There is nothing wrong with a gay man wearing an engagement ring. My husband got me my engagement ring (5.5 carat princess cut Tiffany&co ring) and I LOVE it. I get many people stopping me to say they love it. My family loves it, and most of all I love it. It is up to the couple to be honest. My husband got me the ring I always wanted, and I got him the car he always wanted. It was a win win situation in plain terms!

      Anyways, just be who you are. If you’ve always wanted that big diamond Carter or Tiffany ring, GO FOR IT. Nothing wrong with it. The only thing you’ll have to look out for, is jealous woman, and jealous gay men!

      May 16, 2012 at 12:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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