HARDWOOD ONLY

Enormous Rubber Sex Toy Found In Sacred Cave In Thailand Causes Village Uproar

krabi_phranang_beachVillagers in Krabi, Thailand, a small town on the west coast of southern Thailand at the mouth of the Krabi River, are in an uproar after someone left a large, factory-made dildo in their sacred cave.

The offending item, which local media have described as “a large, pink faded sex toy,” was discovered in the Phra Nang Cave, nicknamed the “Phallus Shrine,” a place where locals leave dong-shaped offerings for a goddess named Phra Nang. But the rule is the offerings must be made out of wood, not rubber. Hence the village unrest.

“We believe it was left there by a tourist who doesn’t really understand local beliefs,” Komart Paenkerd, who works for the Krabi Provincial Cultural Office, told the Phuket Gazette.

According to legend, Phra Nang was the wife of a fisherman who became lost at sea. She lived out the rest of her lonely days in the cave, pining for her husband’s return.

“Since antiquity, it is believed by locals that putting wooden Palad khik penis carvings in the cave will evoke the spirit of ‘Phra Nang’ and ensure that you find true love,” Paenkerd explained.

Rubber dildo found mingling with traditional wood phalluses.

Beach patrol say that only one rubber penis has been discovered.

“We have checked the cave and found only one offensive item,” an official informed the Phuket Gazette. “This penis was made of silicon.”

“I would like to inform tourists that sex toys are inappropriate as an offering,”Paenkerd added. “Locals worship the spirit of Phra Nang with hardwood only.”

Wiyada Srirangkul, director of the Tourism Authority of Thailand in Krabi, asked people to keep an eye out for anyone seeking to stick their phallus in the wrong place.

“Please let our officers know if you see something strange,” she pleaded. “We have also informed our local officers and locals to be vigilant. We don’t want this kind of misunderstanding to happen in the future.”

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