A former antigay middle school bully who is himself gay has posted an apology letter online.
But even if a former bully is truly remorseful, they can’t reverse the ripple effect of their cruelty — the tarnished self-esteem, years of depression, and in the most extreme cases, suicide of their victims.
But it also doesn’t seem right for adolescent mistakes to follow someone around their entire lives, and we think anyone who stands up to break a cycle of hate deserves some credit, like in this story shared online by “James.”
Taking into account James’ upbringing, it becomes clear that he was essentially trained to be a bully from birth. His homophobic father instilled such fear in him that when James realized he was gay, his only outlet was more fear, more hate. Does that excuse his behavior? No. But it does add depth to a conversation that is tinted in shades of gray.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Our hope is that James doesn’t feel this is his stamp of forgiveness. If you’re reading this, James — get out into your community and speak to kids who are experiencing both sides of bullying. Your unique perspective could truly help!
Here’s the message James posted:
Hello everyone, for starters let me introduce myself, my name is James and back in middle school I used to bully other students who seemed feminine and were openly gay, I was the typical Christian homophobic bully.
I grew up in a completely Christian household, my father would often post anti-gay/ anti-democrat images on his Facebook, print them off and put them on the fridge. He would constantly teach me that homosexuality was wrong, which I guess is what got that sort of thought into my mind.
Well in middle school there was this one student who we’ll call “Nate”.
For the things I’ve said to Nate, I wanted to apologies. I would constantly call him a “fag” “faggot” “gay boy” “queer”, and other things. He did nothing wrong to me, and yet I still felt so afraid of him that I resorted to insults. Sadly nowadays I have no way of contacting him, he doesn’t use Facebook, he doesn’t live near me, and we’re both probably no longer in school. For everyone out there who’s been in either my situation, or Nate’s situation, I’m sorry.
If you’re in my situation, please don’t resort to verbal abuse over things that scare/ frighten you, be strong, talk to people in a civilized manner, and open up to them. I know I’m gay, I think I bullied Nate so much because I was afraid of being like this, I wanted to be the strong straight kid my dad always wanted.
If you’re in Nate’s situation, please stay strong. You didn’t do anything wrong, those who bully you or insult you are most often then not having an identity crisis. I’m here for you now, and want to know that you’re perfect just the way you are.
Again I can’t apologies to Nate now, but if I could I would want to tell him this; I’m sorry for all the verbal harassment I put you through, the truth is I always thought you were pretty cool and sort of attractive, and that frustrated me. You were always the stronger one between us both, you were proud to be you and always kept your head held high. Fight on, and live an amazingly happy life with whomever you love. My thoughts are with you, please… please stay strong.
Related posts:
Young Sons Of Gay Dad Share Their Powerful Brushes With Antigay Bullying
Sam Smith Was A Victim Of Homophobic Bullying
Transgender Teen Commits Suicide Following Years Of Bullying
SnakeyJ
PLEASE STOP posting Reddit “stories”!! These are tiresome and annoying. No one knows if these stories are real or fake… they’re fantasies (I’m str8 but i really want to bottom for a guy with a big one!) or just pure lies. I’m sure if the Queerty writers searched hard enough (it’s not difficult!!) they could actually comment on REAL stories going on.
PLEASE STOP WITH THESE!!
Bauhaus
“James” apologies, but never once asks for forgiveness.
Xzamilio
I’d say it’s the norm for anti-gay bullies, but having grown up in a overly religious household and having no positive gay role models growing up, it was easy to get sucked into the same bullshit of thinking I had to overcompensate… but I never mocked the openly feminine gay kids. I would just get defensive if someone tried to joke about me being gay. But, who is this helping? It’s helping “James” and no one else. It’s self-serving drivel to assuage his own guilt, because A. Why not do it under his REAL name, as I doubt James is not — even still, James is common and there is no last name associated with it, and B. Why not track the bullied guy down instead of making some “open letter”? It’s just like people going to “God” for forgiveness for wronging someone but not going to that person…
And it’s APOLOGIZE, dude!!! Once I can forgive, but he did it twice!! Maybe he should have spent more time paying attention in class and less time bothering the “girly boys.”
AtticusBennett
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/dad-says-youre-fag-hesaid/
*ahem*
my story – as the openly-gay high school student who was on the receiving end of bigotry from guys like the one who wrote the letter.
the story is good, though, in that it shows what all of us with brains already know: no “i can’t stand effeminate gays” men come from homes where the parents are non-bigoted.
every time a gay man denigrates “fems” or touts his own self-styled “masc”-ness as something to be proud of, what he’s really saying is “my dad hates fags”
dhmonarch89
my chief anti gay bully from middle school turned out to be gay- do I forgive, ah- NO! I missed 28 days in the 8th grade because I was terrified of him- the school sent a social worker to my house to see why I missed so much. He actually called me in college and asked if I wanted to go out and pick up guys with him- then he tried to friend me on facebook…hung up, said no/blocked!
Bauhaus
@AtticusBennett:
Moreover, he’s saying he hates having a gay son. These fathers know damn well their sons are gay. As soon as they catch on, these men try to “make men” of their sons through shaming, beatings, berating, contact sports, bullying, church, name-calling and withholding love and affection.
AtticusBennett
@Bauhaus: YUP.
as much as i’d love to “still hate” the guy from my high school who bullied me – i can’t. why? his life is destined to suck. forever. his father is a worthless piece of s**t bigot, and my former classmate will likely never be man enough to stand up to him.
sure, i got taunted in the halls. but i was also Out. and have been Out for more than 15 years now. and i love my life.
my former classmate? he’ll likely never know the love and joys i’ve known in life.
and you called it right out – that’s what happens.
I’ve seen, in a few still-sad cases, the father “tolerate” his son as long as “the son doesn’t act like a stereotypical gay” – those broken boys go on to be Gay Republicans, or anonymous commenters on the Gaybros subgroup in reddit.
boys who aren’t loved or accepted, but are conditionally tolerated. and still go on to blame “those stereotypical gays and fems” for the fact that they’re not strong enough to stand up to their own fathers.
what good comes from this guy posting this story is that it should be a wake-up call to other closeted homophobic bullies, and a reminder to straight people that anti-gay bigotry is a CYCLE. and can be broken.
Billy Budd
These stories are fake.
cflekken
@Bauhaus: Wouldn’t that have selfish motives, though? He’s probably not thinking of forgiveness at this moment, possibly, because he feels that what he did was unforgivable. Saying, “please forgive me” is, in some ways, a selfish way of saying, “help ME feel better”, which this letter isn’t about. He’s reaching out to his tormentee in hopes to help “Nate’ emotionally heal, and help HIM feel better.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Need more openly gay masc role models for kids like this. Yeah, yeah I know I’ll be screamed down by the perpetually outraged hysterics — which is part of the problem. Still, it’s not a solution to bullying. There is none. Crooked timber of humanity etc
Bauhaus
@cflekken:
Well, asking for forgiveness shows contrition, not assuaging guilt. Placing the blame on his environment, his nasty father, his own insecurities, is good for self-awareness and good for self-growth, but it falls short.
myloginname
I had many bullies growing up. There was one we’ll call Flapjack. Flapjack bullied me for being gay from about 2nd grade through 6th. It got worse in middle and high school for me and I forgot all about Flapjack. At my High Schools 25th reunion I got in an email conversation with Flapjack where he apologized for everything he had done to me and how he had bullied a huge portion of the school along with me. Now Flapjack has a gay son that he loves beyond measure and realizes the enormity of his bullyings affect. I didn’t tell him I had forgotten all about him because, yeah it did all come back to me then. But I did forgive Flapjack 100%. Now that doesn’t mean all of the other bullies from Middle and High School are off the hook they aren’t.
James Hart
“James” certainly has lots of courage.
Glücklich
Nice of the bully to own up to his misdeeds.
I got bullied. I didn’t like it at the time nor do I wish it upon anyone else but it made me very tough and that has served me well for many years. I don’t do Feltchbook and have evolved so far beyond the ugly little middle- and highschooler I was, I couldn’t care less how great or terrible their lives turned out. No contact with anyone from those days, by design, since about 2001, and it’s not like I moved across the country or anything.
Living well is the best revenge.
badtungsten
It’s too bad “James” didn’t spend a little more time learning how to spell. I guess tormenting “Nate” was more important.
dhmonarch89
wow- they erased my harassment mesage- I wish they’d spend as much time actually unsubcribing me from their newsletter list!!!!!!!!!
Luis H. Lopez
Grow up!
Prinny
I smell a troll.
Giancarlo85
@SnakeyJ: Reddit is getting lame too. Most of it is make-believe. Though I’m sure there have been plenty of bullies that later came out as gay. I knew one that is gay and he apologized to me for all the crap he did to me.
LGBT
It’s sad that so many people are affected by the prejudice and hateful actions toward them by so called “straight people”
A Jared Hayes
I question how legit this is. He mentions growing up his dad would post on facebook. How long has facebook been popular and popular enough for middle school aged kids to partake…MySpace used to be the it thing when facebook first came around..
cflekken
@Bauhaus: Not correct. Asking for forgiveness relieves burden and accountability.
Alex Rothwell
If this is real, it says a lot. I knew guys like that in JHS and HS.
Bauhaus
@cflekken:
Maybe for you. For me, forgiveness is letting go of resentment, hurt, bitterness. Having a change of heart.
bottom250
I will forgive but I won’t forget the hurt and pain bullies gave me. As the flamboyant gay boy I didn’t deserve the torment. Non of your beatings were going to beat the queen out of me. I am who I am.
TemptyK
Anyone “with a brain” would know this story is completely fabricated.
Jean-Louis Bouchard
A Harvard Study has shown that homophobic people are gay and wrestling with their attraction to same sex.
Roberson Randy
A situation as old as time!! It repeats itself over and over again. And people are shocked???
kernowcraig
@Xzamilio: No he was right, its Apologise.
dhmonarch89
not a troll- just amused that Queerty runs a story on something they are guilty of doing!
DuMaurier
A friend of mine was bullied in high school by a macho football jock whom years later he ran into in a gay bar. I asked if the guy apologized and my friend said the past never came up, the guy just said he was “very happy” now. To me, this is just one of the consequences of homophobic pressures to which the jock was subjected no less my friend or any other young gay person of that time. The guy did what he did out of fear, to deflect suspicion from himself, the same way closeted gay men used to (and probably still do) marry women and raise families, with all the hurt and pain for everyone that inevitably causes. Or go along with homophobic jokes so no one will suspect them. Or commit suicide or turn to drugs or whatever people do when the pain becomes too much to bear. The jock didn’t create the situation he reacted to, and although I thought he SHOULD have acknowledged the past and made amends, I think we should cast the real blame where it belongs.
Cam
These stories are another indication that most of these anti-gay bigots are just self hating closet cases.
AtticusBennett
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: i know you’re trolling, because that’s your deal, but i thought i’d point out how wrong you are.
1. how do we know this guy is “masc”? or even real, or OUT? so far, he’s not a real person. he’s an amorphous anonymous collection of typed words. that’s all. we cannot see whether or not he’d be deemed “masculine” as he’s not shown himself. we don’t even know, if he’s a real person, if he’s fully 100% Out.
2. what is “masc”? being closeted and bullying gay people so your similarly bigoted father won’t suspect that you’re gay? what an odd definition for “masc” – sounds more like my definition for “Coward”
more role models, eh? is this then the day where you finally provide the URL and show us all who you really are, or is it the day you refuse to do that because you’re not masculine, not Out and are just a perpetual internet coward?
just wondering.
jjose712
@Bauhaus: No, asking for forgiveness shows you feel guilty and want the other one to forgive you to feel better.
The guy, in case this is real, did the right thing, apologize and if his former victim wants to forgive him even better (for the two in fact, because as far as it seems the bullying didn’t went as far as physical aggression, and for the victim forgive could be a great way to go on with his life, because hating someone who is not the same guy anymore ony hurts the victim)
And about the topic of bullies being gay themselves, i think in cases where the bully is just one person (when the bullies are a group there are some lynch mentallity that generally makes them go further than most of the group wants, and in a lot of cases the leader is a sociopath) and he focus specially in one guy, the odds are the bully is gay himself
jjose712
@AtticusBennett: If he is not trolling he has a point.
These guys living with homophobic parents or simply very conservative ones generally thing that gays fit certain stereotypes. When they don’t fit that stereotypes they feel the need to reinforce their “straighness” abusing other people to hide what they really feel, and they generally do abusing effeminate guys (that generally is a way to show everybody how straight they are) or openly gay ones (because cowards hate people who are brave).
Maybe it doesn’t work anyway, but openly gay celebrities that don’t fit the usual gay stereotypes would probably show that there are a lot of different people and are not the way you move or speak or the things you like what make you gay.
Anyway, teens are insecure and having role models doesn’t mean a teen will be in the mood to look at them because parents and friends are more important. That role models are more important for people who are in a bad situation but really assumed they are gay
AtticusBennett
http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.ca/2012/06/straight-is-not-compliment.html
here’s what you’re missing – “openly gay celebrities that don’t fit the usual gay stereotypes” is a straw man – the “stereotypes” that are pejoratively derided by those insecure conservatives are not negative.
the problem is not any of those perceived-“Stereotypes”, but the knee-jerk reaction from bigoted straights and insecure gays that they’re inherently negative.
the solution to equality is not “and since i was just like the white trash bigots i live with, they don’t hate me for being gay!”
and it never will be. he’s trolling and he doesn’t have a point. he’s a closeted wimp -, i.e., he’s the problem.
if you’re treated OK because “you’re not like those stereotypical gays”, then you’re not really loved, accepted or supported. you’re tolerated, conditionally.
all those closeted guys who think they’re so “masc” should grow a spine and learn something those ‘fems’ learned long ago – being a man means standing up to be counted and commanding respect for who you are, not hiding in the darkness and being mad at all the OUT people for being the type of gays your crap fathers hate.
odowd4sure
It’s the Friends of the Friendless Pizza Parlor Nazi’s again, trying to get us to react to their b.s. plan to paint us in a negative light, don’t react to it. It’s their ploy to try and force us to lose the case at the end of month before the Supreme Court. This is a sham, don’t believe any of it for a second. If it is true, then I want to meet the author of the letter in person immediately to verify the validity and that what he says is true. Otherwise don’t post these things here, they serve no purpose, we could care less!
wpewen
When this kind of stuff happens it’s hard to say what the outcomes are going to be over the long term for the kid who get bullied. I have very little sympathy for gay boys who bully other boys on the issue. I know one personally, and he was able to carry on his life pretty well once he came to term with his homosexuality, but that’s after he already did his damage. If he’s in some nutbrain Christian household, that’s sort of mitigates it, but not much. Nobody “has to” be cruel to another human being. People need to think about children long term and anything that they are exposed to that leaves a negative imprint. Unfortunately, not just bullying but via the media, daily school life, etc. children are getting it from all sides. And when they get older generally they’ve internalized it on some level. Boys who get harassed for effeminacy have one of the worst trips around.
Jeremy Smith
I was in “Nate’s” Position & was bullied in Elementary, Middle School & High School! I have thought of suicide plenty of times. But I accepted who I was and pretty much told everyone who didn’t like to go “Suck It”!
Bauhaus
@jjose712:
Again. Just me. When I ask for forgiveness, I’m asking the person to let go of a grievance/hurt they have against me (which I’ve earned), in order to mend a relationship. I don’t ask for forgiveness to get off the hook or “feel better”. On the contrary, asking for forgiveness should make the aggrieved feel better, not me. It requires acknowledging wrongdoing, a sincere apology, contrition, and a willingness to acknowledge you’ve injured someone. Asking for forgiveness is very foreign and uncomfortable for many people.
steveleong
“What one sows, so shall they reap” is a powerful universal law that comes in many different forms. This fellow has paid and still paying for what he did. His father is also paying, even more so because he professes to be Christian at the same time spits at Jesus teachings.
This man has chosen to change. Don’t send him back to becoming an anti-gay bigot with ugly comments. People create their karma by what they do. We create our karma by how we react to what they do.
oldbrit
Considering the number of friends over the years who have been bullied, beaten up, murdered, or committed suicide, I’ll be happy to forgive “James” once he’s been victimized by a gang of bullies and he posts the pictures of himself in the hospital with his face bashed in, his ribs, legs, and arms broken, with a cast on his head from the multiple concussions, the surgical stitches from where they removed his ruptured spleen, the stitches where they had to remove one of his lungs, and the wheelchair he’ll have to roll around in for the rest of his life because his back was broken when his attackers ran over him with their car as they left the scene.
Sorry, if that sounds extreme, but I’m describing the wounds of my “lucky” friend who was beaten up by someone like James. I say “lucky” because they beat his companion to death.
I have nos sympathy for James and only hope that his parents get to suffer the way my friends’ and their parents’ have suffered over the year.
oldbrit
@AtticusBennett: Considering the number of friends over the years who have been bullied, beaten up, murdered, or committed suicide, I’ll be happy to forgive “James” once he’s been victimized by a gang of bullies and he posts the pictures of himself in the hospital with his face bashed in, his ribs, legs, and arms broken, with a cast on his head from the multiple concussions, the surgical stitches from where they removed his ruptured spleen, the stitches where they had to remove one of his lungs, and the wheelchair he’ll have to roll around in for the rest of his life because his back was broken when his attackers ran over him with their car as they left the scene.
Sorry, if that sounds extreme, but I’m describing the wounds of my “lucky” friend who was beaten up by someone like James. I say “lucky” because they beat his companion to death.
I have nos sympathy for James and only hope that his parents get to suffer the way my friends’ and their parents’ have suffered over the year.
oldbrit
@AtticusBennett: @AtticusBennett: My previous comment above was not directed at you. This computer contraption tricked me into posting that when I had something entirely different in mind…
What I wanted to say to you is this:
You couldn’t be more correct about stereotypes and what you said about gays who butch it up not being free.
I’m in my 60’s and I’ve seen it all. When I was in college in the the 1960’s my best friend, Britt. was a black guy who was as effeminate as they come. I can still see him in his short-shorts, with the tails of his shirt tied to expose his bare midriff, clogs with an inch more heal than any sensible man would wear, and his shoulder-strapped purse.
All I care about is that people be authentic. Some of us are more masculine than others and some of us are more effeminate than others. It makes no difference to me, as long as you’re comfortable being yourself.
In college, I dated a guy a few times – that is until he told me that he didn’t want to be seen in public with my friend, Britt.
Until we can all be comfortable in our own skins, accept others for who they are, and accept that authenticity is more important than a good-looking face or big muscles, we’re nowhere.
oldbrit
@oldbrit: AtticusBennett – PS I went to your website. You are adorable and I love your attitude. If I were 30 years younger, I’d ask you out on a date!
Loved the stuff about your parents and bar from Boys in The Band. I was friends with Jeanne Manford, the founder of P-FLAG. I didn’t meet her until after the death of her son, Morrie. I’m sure you’ll recognize this picture of her walking up 5th Ave with Morrie.
http://www.homoquotables.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Jeanne-Manford.jpg
AtticusBennett
@oldbrit: well THANK YOU, for your work, brother!!
my family has done so much work with PFLAG over the last decade – Manford helped save countless lives, and families. 🙂
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
Fuck these people. These self-loathing assholes took childhood’s, teen years, even lives of so many LGBT people. Many of them have social and emotional problems for life because of how they were treated in high school because of their sexual orientation. If you accept these individual’s apology, good for you. But if you didn’t, good for you too. These people are sociopaths regardless of they out or not. They are bad people.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
* regardless if they are out or not…
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@dhmonarch89: good for you. And, don’t let anybody shame you or guilt you into thinking you are “wrong” for not forgiving this person.
ClubbedFoot
I am a 63 year old. I get all my bullying when a gay younger not by classmates, though that too, and not in the hood, and I have back then a fist on each arm to make sure they do not F with me too much. The real bullies back in my childhood are the teachers and educators, so they call them, in the schools, and the police and the social workers. F them and any who want to reconcile and repent. NONE OF THEM EVER DO, by the way. Ball slapping me in front of the class they did. Denunciate me and face-slap me in front of the others they do. As if my punishments are public and the others’ must be private. Go figure, as they say. There is other stuff, as there is private paining and rape, and it is all there in my mind. NONE AND NO ONE EVER HINTED AT ANY REGRET. I do not believe in the story about the bully regretting. Nor do I think it is a real Bully repent. I think it not real and not in any way real, not in any way . . . unless they are receiving money for it all. $$ not regret. FFFF all that. Bull for the bully. Take the money and run . . . . but beware my fists.
dunwoodyjoey
I will be 64 this September. I have had ONE man in my High School past to apologize to me on Facebook for the pain he and his homophobic buddies caused me. And the funny part was this guy wasn’t the worst, he sort of went-along-to-get-along. He’s str8 and has been FB friend for 5 years. BY FAR he owned his faults. I can’t hate him and admire him for making things ok. One of the bullies died 5 years ago and the Alumni association wanted to know if I wanted to chip in for flowers. Hell to the No. And I told them I was glad he was dead and he earned the hottest corner of hell for the way he treated little old homo me. My friend is the only person from 46 years ago that I have any contact with. Having been the Kurt Hummel of East Lansing High School I can state that kids now don’t have it wonderful but much better then I did.
scotshot
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: “Need more openly gay masc role models for kids like this.” Actually no. What we need are more role models who are well adjusted and content with themselves and their lives. instead we have unhappy people like you spewing their venom.
oldbrit
@scotshot: Exactly, ScotShot!!! As I said above, it’s about being comfortable with who you are, not molding yourself to the expectations of others.
aidanbh
Some people, including the lead article, have said “It is no excuse, but it may help in future,” etc. A small linguistic note which I find helps with my philosophical stance. The word “excuse” comes form the Latin ‘excausare’, meaning ‘to find the cause from which’. An excuse is not therefore, as we often use it, a lame attempt to sidestep responsibility, but an attempt to find the cause from which something happened. This can lead us to ensure that it does not happen again, and therefore must be a good thing. Often we are in fact meaning “justify”, from the Latin ‘jusfacere’, meaning ‘to make something right’, which is so often not even a possibility. Even the word “apology” is from the Greek ‘apologia’, meaning “explanation”. So, as far as my philosophical viewpoint goes, James’ apology IS an excuse, but not necessarily a justification, unless of course we do take the generous stance that an admission and a correction of behaviour DOES “make it right”. That is up to the individual’s sense of judgement or acceptance.
oldbrit
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Masculine role models are fine, as long as they’re natural and not an act, just like effeminiat3e role models are fine, and in fact just like all openly LGBTQI persons who are comfortable being themselves in all aspects of their lives are good role models.
onthemark
@Bauhaus: @Bauhaus: You seem to have a point somewhere in there but it’s pretty tangled up.
“in order to mend a relationship”… But that’s it, there IS no relationship right now. There WAS one (if we assume the story is real), but it may or may not be re-established. A request for forgiveness would only make sense if and when *personal* contact is re-established. Sending it out into the ether here, like you’re suggesting, wouldn’t quite make sense.
Look at it this way – as no one has pointed out yet, “Nate” might be dead (for whatever reason). No one knows. In that case, would it still make sense for “James” to ask for forgiveness?
jwtraveler
@Cam: Not in the least.
jwtraveler
@oldbrit: Your anger and bitterness are understandable, but as Gandhi said: an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind. James does not say that he physically harmed Nate and it is clear that he was as much a victim of his father, his Christian upbringing and the society as a whole as was Nate. He is to be commended for taking responsibility for his actions.
Wishing harm to him may help you vent your anger and desire for vengeance, but it will do nothing to solve the problem. The solution is to create a society where everyone is accepted for him/herself and no one is bullied. Then people like James will not feel the need to bully others to hide or disprove his reality.
I offer you nothing but sympathy. I hope that you find a way to heal your emotional wounds.
Saint Law
@AtticusBennett: There are many reasons for not disclosing personal details on a forum open to anyone and only one for not doing so – yours: attempting to prompt hits for some tds vlog.
But here’s the thing: not everybody on here is looking to promote them ‘selves’ in the hope of raking in a few dollars.
So put a sock in it for FFS you sententious bag of fart.
Bauhaus
@onthemark:
My point was clearly stated in my first post. Any tangling-up was done by others.
Alex Cameron
Wow what goes around comes around now they be on the receiving of homophobes twats
onthemark
@Bauhaus: Your first post in its entirety: “‘James’ apologies, but never once asks for forgiveness.”
That’s clearly stated?
Semantically it makes no sense to ask for forgiveness unless PERSONAL contact is re-established, because the forgiveness (if any) would be coming specifically from Nate.
oldbrit
@jwtraveler: I have no wounds. I was never bullied. I’m not angry.
I simply think the right-wing Christian haters should get the eye-for-an-eye they constantly clamor for when they advocate for the death penalty and for everyone in the United States openly carrying guns on their hips.
Come to think of it, bullies might think twice about attacking someone if their victims started pulling guns and shooting them dead.
Daggerman
..this particular case is a good start and necessary for a lot of people but I just would like to make something clear here—-the amount of closeted gay males in this world (who live many different types of life) is astonishing. They cause such tremendous grief for any openly gay males..and make the human world more understanding and friendly. So if you’re one of those butch, manly types who can hide their sexuality behind a facade….pluck up some courage and COME OUT!!! Because it will quash so many peoples stereotypical ideas of what Gay men are like.
pscheck2
To forgive is divine. The fact he was a bully and his bullying was a reaction to his ‘conditioning’ by his father and religious beliefs, helps to understand his weakness of character in being a bully. It seems he had these sexual feelings for males over females, at a earlier age, and fear of betraying these feelings, in some setting, prompted his defense mechanism, ergo:BULLY! Need I just cite one instance of forgiveness which should say it all for James? Jesus Christ! (When he was being crucified, said: “Father forgive them for they do not know what they do.”(paraphrased?) Again, forgiveness is divine.
Auryn Smith
No he can’t reverse it, but the apology is a start in the healing process.
David Mitchell
Great to take ownership of what you did. Fyi apologize is the correct way to spell the word.
Steven Davis
That maybe, but in scenarios like this we need to check our pride as members of the LGBT community and forgive especially if they apologize and are remorseful. He was just a stupid kid that didnt know how to handle his own sexuality and you have to look at the way he was raised, were his parents cruel to him maybe had hatred toward the LGBT community, i think we as the LGBT community should give somone like this a second chance and show him forgiveness especially if he is apologizing.