QUEERTY REPORTS– One of our tipsters alerted us to one of the creepier proselytizing efforts we’ve seen by the ex-gay community. Lambert Dolphin, a 76-year old ex-gay writer and geophysicist who has written academic papers that aim to scientifically prove Biblical claims, signs on to gay dating site D-List on a nearly daily basis, where he’s been emailing and befriending young gay guys in an attempt to get them to reconsider their sexuality. Describing himself as a “Freewheeling follower of Jesus Christ”, Dolphin’s profile makes numerous references to his religious beliefs that on the surface appear innocuous, but a closer investigation reveals an ulterior motive.
Eric (not his real name) is a regular D-List user and received a message from Dolphin earlier this year:
“It was a kind of harmless, completely random message along the lines of “Just wanted to let you know that I’d be here for you if you ever needed support.” A lot of the same things he has on profile—stuff about how he won’t judge and he’ll just offer support. But then if you go to his official site, you can see that he’s done tons of writing on ex-gay counseling.
I wrote back and kind of tried to get him to speak on that but he kind of ignored me in a way and just kept saying, “I’d be here for you to support you,” talking about God, etc. But then I mentioned the explicitly ex-gay writings on his web site, saying that I’d rather him not message me ever again because after reading those things, it’s clear that he had an agenda.”
The site in question, Lambert Dolphin’s Library, is a treasure trove of ex-gay articles and doctrines. On a page called “Jesus and the Homosexual,” Lambert has clippings of over two decades’ worth of ex-gay material, with a special focus on stories about gay “boys”; the very kind of young men that Dolphin appears to be targeting on D-List. Articles have titles like “The Limitations Of Homosexual Love” and “Emotional Longing in Men.” One article says:
“Boys who fail to identify with and bond with a father-figure feel uncertain of what it means to me a man–from a very early age. They often inferior to, and alienated from, other boys their own age. Accompanying this is a strong sense of envy: “I wish I were as handsome and well built as so-and-so.” Crushes with other guys may develop signaling that a deep unmet need exists in the boy who has never felt really loved and affirmed by a father. It is as if a deficiency existed in the boy’s reservoir of masculine self-esteem and he is forever seeking the lost part of himself in other males… It is wrong at this stage to label such boys as gay. They are predisposed towards becoming homosexuals, but they aren’t there yet.
Since the basic problem–the inner most need–is for affirmation from members of the same sex–for “same-sex bonding”–the situation can be radically changed by special attention from an uncle, a scout leader, school teacher, youth leader or caring male friend. Or better still, if the father who was never really “there” for his son takes radical steps to build a strong friendship with an alienated son, healing can begin…
The cure for homosexuality is not merely abstinence from sexual activity that displeases God. Becoming whole means being loved and filled with Jesus the Lord as one’s true and faithful Lover. Anything short of this is spiritual–if not literal–adultery and infidelity.”
And on D-List, it seems that Dolphin has decided to give that “special attention” to young men. Dolphin’s profile has 324 friends, most of them under the age of 24. Eric, who is 23, says Dolphin’s advances left him “terrified”, saying:
“It was bizarre to me that he thought he could get away with it, so terrifying he was talking to young kids, maybe kids even just out of the closet—absolutely terrible and sad. It was like he had a template of things to say.
My friend knows much more about ex gay organizations than I do, so he was helping me try and word things appropriately to get him to answer things without tiptoeing around what he was trying to do. But he kept on tip-toeing—which was terrifying because we were reading his writings at the same time. It scares me that he thinks people wouldn’t see that. The other poor guys he’s talking to might not have any idea. You’d be amazed. He was just very “I just want to support you, just want to help you out.”
I can imagine many young people, having just come out, still trying to reconcile their faith, listening to him where he quite possibly later would start saying “you need to be celibate”, like he says on his web site.”
Eric eventually confronted Dolphin and asked if he was an ex-gay:
“He ignored the direct question asking him if he was “ex-gay” but denied being associated with Exodus or anything like that, though we never even insinuated that directly. But he did allude to that he “was” gay. And had struggled with that in his life. He said things like, “I’ve been around for a long time. I’ve seen a lot.”
Queerty tried to reach Dolphin for this article, but have not heard back. Eric wrote D-List administrators about his concerns, but received no reply. While there’s nothing illegal about using a gay dating site to proselytize, the extreme age difference between Dolphin and the young gay men he approaches, along with duplicitous way he disguises his ex-gay motivations for reaching out to them, sends shudders down our spine. What about you?