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UPDATED: You’re A Dumb Ass If You Took Offense Blake Shelton’s Homophobic Shania Twain Remix

UPDATE: Blake Shelton has offered the worst non-apology of all time (even worse that Kobe Bryant’s)

Nakia and the cute Mormon dork who came out to his father on The Voice should know that Blake Shelton will kick their asses if they try and touch his. At least that’s what the show’s country music judge felt the need to express when he tweeted a re-written Shania Twain lyric from “Any Man of Mine.” Oh, Blake. Let’s examine your apparent fear of man-on-man ass grabbery and how much the show’s fans LOVE your outspoken style!

This tweet comes after his Brokeback joke insinuating that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay at the Country Music Awards. Will recent Gay Walk of Fame honoree Christina Aguilera let Blake know the error of his ways? Or maybe the other Twitterers will clue Blake in:

Blake comes off as one of these straight men who imagine that every gay guy has a hand just aching to touch his legendary golden ass. In fact, his backside is probably so mesmerizing in it’s awesome jiggliness that it tempts even the straightest bro. We imagine poor Blake, probably besieged by hoards of male molesters, had no choice but to rewrite Shania Twain’s lyrics to finally get through to his anal assaulters… or maybe he’s just an asswipe.

Cue BS requisite apology in 3, 2, 1… That’s OK, Blake. Some of our best friends are homophobic douche nozzles.

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           May 5, 2011
Tagged: , , ,

  • 25 Comments
    • jason
      jason

      Blake Shelton looks like he might have personal, unresolved homosexual issues.

      May 5, 2011 at 9:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      Omg, have you ever seen Blake’s Twitter account? And this is the first thing to cause controversy? I don’t think he’s ever said anything appropriate.

      Blake is the least homophobic person in real life, coming from someone who knows him very well personally. It’s parody. Relax.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JoeyO'H
      JoeyO'H

      Touch your ass? What makes Shelton think another man would want to touch his nasty ass. Typical backwoods country bumpkin… Is it okay to think he was brought up in a trailer? Very moronic to think gay men would want him… He’s not attractive inside and out.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JoeyO'H
      JoeyO'H

      @John:

      So, should we confuse parody with hatred? No, I don’t buy that kind of parody… I don’t see it or feel it. It’s pure hate.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      @JoeyO’H:

      I think you’re forming an opinion about someone you’ve never met, and probably didn’t even know about until The Voice. Was it a stupid comment? Yes. But everything he writes on Twitter is either stupid or intentionally inflammatory. The only reason new people are paying attention to his Twitter is because he’s on a major TV show, and I think we (the gay community) are too often looking for reasons to get pissed off.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      And let’s take a minute to look at the actual content of the tweet. If anyone sexually harasses him, he’s going to retaliate with physical violence. It’s an overreaction, but not completely unjustified.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @John:

      Yes, you’re right, this is all our fault. How dare we respond to the outside world.

      You know, those kids in schools who were beaten and bullied…they must have had it coming too. Sheesh!

      Sounds to me like the guy is either a major closet case or got picked on when he was younger for being a singer and now has to trumpet around how butch he is.

      If he IS straight, my guess is that there are several pairs of women’s shoes and some frilly nighties hidden in the back of his sock drawer.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:44 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      Wow, My comment was flagged for moderation. There was not one swear word, no slang, I merely commented that this person, if straight most likely has women’s clothing hidden in his closet and is terrified that will come out.

      I also took John to task for blaming the victims. If this is the new moderation system…not impressed.

      May 5, 2011 at 10:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      @Cam: Lol. If someone grabs a woman’s boob in a bar, and she slaps them, who is the victim?

      May 5, 2011 at 10:59 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tangelo
      Tangelo

      I’m guessing he has never played a team sport. There is as much ass grabbery there as the local leather bar.

      I just have a hard time accepting a guys Heterosexuality when it is via a Shania Twain song. Couldn’t he find a Johnny Cash or Brooks and Dunn song to use? Gay men cornered the market long ago on quoting female singers and characters.

      I send him some light reading. He should read the lyrics to “That Don’t Impress Me Much” by Shania Twain.

      May 5, 2011 at 11:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)
      Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)

      As if xtina gives a d*mn.

      May 5, 2011 at 12:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jimmy Fury
      Jimmy Fury

      People are surprised a country singer said something potentially homophobic?

      really?

      May 5, 2011 at 12:51 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John
      John

      “Allow me to seriously apologize” is the “worst non-apology of all time”? I didn’t think that nonsense required an apology, but even when he gives one you’re not satisfied?

      God, new Queerty is just as bad as old Queerty. Disappointing.

      May 5, 2011 at 1:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • m2m
      m2m

      http://www.usmagazine.com/celebritynews/news/pal-blake-shelton-is-not-a-homophobe-despite-tweet-scandal-201155

      well well well, “John”, did you whine to US Weekly too?

      May 5, 2011 at 2:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • m2m
      m2m

      @Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England):

      she will…

      May 5, 2011 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nathan
      Nathan

      @John: It is a stupid non-apology. There was no misunderstanding as to what he meant.

      May 5, 2011 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • OrchidIslander
      OrchidIslander

      Somewhat out of it, I admit. Before the hubris, I’ve never even heard of Blake Shelton. Color me curious, I googled images of him.

      So not impressed.

      Am I missing something? What makes him think gays are drooling over his back butt?

      May 5, 2011 at 2:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • schulteraffe
      schulteraffe

      Has anyone considered that he was re-writing the Shania Twain song from her perspective and not his own? I am as queer as a three dollar bill and it would never have occurred to me that this was how he would sing the song. I assume he meant that this is the way Shania should sing it.

      May 5, 2011 at 3:12 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lonnie
      Lonnie

      Can someone please explain to me why fags are outraged when a musician or an athlete, who don’t write or sign laws, makes homophobic remarks, but say nothing when Obama breaks his promises and keeps queers unequal?

      May 5, 2011 at 4:02 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jimmy Fury
      Jimmy Fury

      @Lonnie: uhm… some of us do? Say something about Obama that is. There are plenty of us who don’t like his policies and readily speak up anytime the ridiculous fawning starts.

      But good job on that absurd generalization! Well done you.

      May 5, 2011 at 5:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Michael
      Michael

      When will our community trade in their soap boxes?

      May 5, 2011 at 8:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Joe B.
      Joe B.

      You’re so off base here. I can’t even begin to detail how ridiculous this has been all day.

      I tried, you can read this here.

      http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/i_am_a_tv_junkie_a_blog_f/2011/05/glaad-you-are-wrong-about-this-blake-shelton-thing-please-stop.html

      He’s right, you ARE a dumbass if you took offense. He was rewriting the lyrics for the singer who sings the song, and that’s a woman.

      When you attack people for no good reason, the next time you have a legit reason to attack it means less. Big FAIL for GLAAD, and apparently for you, Queerty. Love the blog usually, and you happen to be completely wrong on this.

      May 5, 2011 at 8:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      @Lonnie: said…

      “Can someone please explain to me why fags are outraged when a musician or an athlete, who don’t write or sign laws, makes homophobic remarks, but say nothing when Obama breaks his promises and keeps queers unequal?”
      ______________________________________

      Um, can somebody please explain to me why “Fags” can spend two years screaming on blogs like this one about HRC grabbing their ankles for the Democrats, selling off our rights, and that Obama had broken our promises.

      Backing Get Equal, marching on Washington, demanding that Obama and the DEMS support us…

      And yet, when it suits the purpose of somebody on this blog to defend a country singer, they pretend that none of the last two years happened?

      Can somebody please explain that to me?

      May 6, 2011 at 10:02 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Timago
      Timago

      Blake Shelton is a piece of shit. On “The Voice”, he decided against Tyler Robinson who CLEARLY has better pipes than Patrick. CLEARLY. One can only conclude that Blake voted against Tyler because he was gay. Fuck Blake.

      May 15, 2011 at 12:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thomas
      Thomas

      @Timago:

      You know, I was really getting into “The Voice” last night. I hadn’t ever seen it before, but I saw this commercial during “America’s Got Talent” (I’m a sucker for these shows dammit) it was really well done. So I went to NBC.com and started up with the first Blind Challenge episode. It was fantastic. The intro performance by the judges was pure sex, raw and gorgeous. This show has genius in it, I knew then.

      By the third episode, I watched this great young gay kid from a Mormon family be open about himself for the first time ever; and he can “sang,” too! He blew away his competition in the ring, and the judges knew it. I was excited to see the look in his eyes; that approval and lift that we all crave at some point or another. And the other kid–the pure country kid, who was good, maybe great, but who had just gotten schooled–he knew it, too. He knew he had lost the skill competition. The hurt was welling up in his eyes.

      So the judge choose the country kid. And I was floored. I immediately went out into the bloggerverse (since this is an old show, and I’m catching up) to see the reactions. I then discovered these odd anti-gay sentiments surrounding Blake. And I hated it.

      The truth of the matter is that I don’t know if he’s a homophobe, or just a giant jerk with no common sense and a shitty humor. But he makes me unsure, and in a show where Carson Daily has LITERALLY leapt into my heart–remember how he was with the black kid and the white Mormon parents, oh I now love Carson, was he really that wonderful in TRL–that’s unpardonable.

      This show has several layers of brilliance that work beautifully together. A lot of that hangs on a careful balance of acceptance. The show premises itself on blind judging with the voice acting as the only measure of true grit. Did Blake betray that? I’m … unsure. But with the tweets and the results of the battle, I’m leaning toward yes. And Reba–dear, sweet, amazing Reba. I can’t help but smile whenever I see you on television or hear your voice on the air. Well, at least I used to. You’re also seeming complicit in this, as well; perhaps it’s an editing issue, but after decades of loving you, I feel robbed of some of that joy I used to be able to feel when I heard you sing or felt your presence on film.

      It sucks. I won’t be watching anymore episodes. Which is a shame, since this show actually stood an impressive chance of bringing out some of the greatest aspects in people that other talent shows like it can’t hope to match. Not the least of which is inspiration to those who desperately need it the most; that possibility has been seriously damaged.

      So whether or not Blake is a homophobe turns out to be immaterial. He’s still turned “The Voice” from revolutionary genius to damaged goods. I hope they reconsider who they pick for a second season coaching panel, if this show makes another round.

      Jun 1, 2011 at 12:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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