We have a confession to make: We love Kim Davis. Or rather, we love to hate Kim Davis.
Related: PHOTOS: Kim Davis Memes Just Keep Getting Better
She’s the perfect villain. She’s privileged (white, middle class, hetero) and in a position of power, and she’s been using those two things to impose her religious beliefs upon others. And all the while she’s been getting tons and tons of attention for it, in which she visibly delights.
Related: Kim Davis’ Marriage History Explained In One Handy Flowchart
How about we take this to the next level?
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How could anyone not love to hate a person like that?
Of course, it helps to know that the Notorious K.I.M. is legally wrong, and even most conservatives agree. And just think about how much fun is it to denounce her, and that feeling of moral superiority it provides. Then, of course, there are all the memes.
This got us to thinking about all the other things we homos love to hate.
Scroll down for five other things…
For whatever reason, gay men love trashing Madonna for sport. If we’re not criticizing her for an age we already are or soon will be (“How dare she be 57!”), we’re tearing apart her new single (“Featuring Nicki Minaj? Again? Really?!”) or rolling our eyes at her latest red carpet antic (“Can you believe she flashed her butt? Ew! Gross!”)… Then we drop $350 to watch her shake her sexy lady butt while knowing all the words to the songs we profess to hate. It’s the weirdest thing.
Straight women in gay bars
Nothing kills a buzz faster than when a bachelorette party rolls up to a gay bar ready to boogie to the latest Britney jam. It’s every gay man’s worst nightmare: squealing women dancing on tables in a desperate ploy for male attention. But, secretly, we enjoying watching these ladies get progressively more intoxicated until they are eventually escorted out of the building. And, of course, we’re the ones who often invite them inside in the first place, just to show them what they can’t have. It helps to reaffirm our homosexuality by reminding us why we’re gay in the first place.
Shirtless men at Pride
We criticize these guys for giving us a bad name and perpetuating the the myth that all gay men are lascivious, sex-crazed narcissists, while at time drooling over them and secretly hoping that maybe, just maybe, we’ll bump into one (or three) of them at the bar later.
Condoms
Let’s face it, condoms just aren’t sexy. They remind us of all the things that could go wrong when having sex: stinky messes, diseases, infections, etc. But they’re necessary because they keep us healthy. So we wear them, boys. Even though we hate them. Whomp, whomp. And don’t forget about PrEP.
We hate them because of what they represent: heterosexism, elitism, douchebaggery, etc. We denounce their lack of proper hygiene, their terrible sense of style, their ill manners. Yet at the same time we love them because they’re kinda hot and because, even though they’re probably pretty sloppy and selfish in the sack, we still kinda sorta want to hook up with them, even if just for the bragging rights.
Related: 10 Totally Obnoxious Things You Have To Be Gay To Fully Understand
Phranc Azzhee
Lol. Dead on!
SportGuy
Guess I’m not that gay,lol, as I love condoms and think frat boys are waste of space and trashy.
Tom Swayzee
I’m guilty of all five
Mercurical Memo
@SportGuy: ditto. I like condoms. I associate condoms with sex, ergo they is good. I can’t stand frat boys. Loud, stupid and obnoxious. I like my men like I like my sugar: refined. Doesn’t have to be white, but it must be refined. Belching the alphabet and farting for kicks is about as sexy as my grandmother removing her dentures.
Mercurical Memo
Hey graham here’s a thought: how about you stop pushing your pathetic fantasies onto every gay man. Just because you like to pant like a little shiatsu bitch for a straight leg to hump doesn’t mean we all do.
Bob Robinson
I don’t hate Kim Davis. I don’t understand how she thinks she has the right to push her beliefs down on me. I wouldn’t do that to her. I’d respect her desire to live her life to the fullest & enjoy every opportunity she desires. But – bottom line I can’t hate her. I hope every day she can find a compromise in her heart & get out of my business.
SeeingAll
I’ll admit I’m surprised. This piece is amazingly honest…for Queerty.
SeeingAll
@SportGuy: Which means….you DO hate Frat Boys.
SeeingAll
@Bob Robinson: But with a new article on her every day on this blog (and other gay blogs) it’s obvious that gay men do love to hate her.
scotshot
@SeeingAll: So true, but hating someone requires an emotional investment in them. A wasted emotional investment. I may get mad and scream and yell about a situation but to have a “person” like Ms Davis inhabiting my thoughts is a place I don’t want to be.
Juanjo
The thing to remember about frat boys is that the Almighty in Her infinite wisdom placed them on earth for gay men to practice with, much like Marines [something I learned a long time ago during a little thing referred to at the time as “your government service obligation”. The key to handling frat boys [and Marines] is to cut them from the herd, ply them with alcohol if they have not already self administered, never imply they are gay, and fuck them like you are paying for it. Oh, in the morning do not refer to anything that happened the night before [it was just two guys helping each other out] and do not expect a phone call later although it might happen.
connorlarkin19
Merc w/Mommie issues. Life is.infinitely complex w/intersex, cisgender, TS, n pansexuality, etc. Gays stra8s do NOT fit into one box exclusively but venture out depending on many factors. You are 70s backroom addict w/ bolo and.flannel.shirt.Give it up. Not every stra8 boy at a bar is a closet, some maybe. Stop justifying the Mediocrity Principle!
SeeingAll
@scotshot: I understand. As for others, though….look how all this article had to do was bring up these topics and some posters can’t stop themselves from grabbing onto one and going on and on about it….
Desert Boy
Hate frat boys? On what planet? Frat boys are hot.
onthemark
I hate how all the FREE condoms nowadays are in bright pastel colors!
WTF is with that. Do they think making condoms in bright pastel colors makes sex more “fun”? Do they think gay men were all molested as children and need kindergarten-color reassurance? Do they think gay men are Smurfs? I don’t get it.
Lvng1Tor
@Mercurical Memo:you’re just kind of a@@… aren’t ya! Anyway…jeez some of you people need to lighten the f up! It’s a fluff piece not an amjmd article submission.
VampDC
Straight women in gay bars are the worst. There should just be a limit. Last night the bar I was at was flooded with them and they love to just laugh and take pics of the gogo dancers.
Jay A. Scaramazzo
Here’s to Kim.
lykeitiz
Although the rest of the list is spot-on and fun, I’m sorry but……..no gay man EVER in the history of Pride parades has complained (or wanted to) about shirtless men. Now…..men in a**less chaps or other outrageous attire? Perhaps. But shirtless men? Not ever. Not even once.
Mercurical Memo
@connorlarkin19: sorry man I haven’t worn flannel since I stopped listening to nirvana and pearl jam. As for my mommie? I had an awesome mom actually. She used to take me to cool things like museums, zoos and libraries and used to spoil me with presents. We do an awesome Christmas at my family’s and are all avid politicos. So I don’t think I have mommie issues. I do have issues with pathetic, snivelling little shiatsu bitches who parasitically like to bring out the gays in others and they claim it as the law of the land. I take issue with that. Someone dictating to others that I’m a sad hetero butt sniffer as them.
darian
Meh I’m rather ambivalent to Madonna I just can’t seem to bring myself to care enough to hate her. As for frat guys I want nothing to do with them period. The rest is pretty pretty dead on.
spiffy
I don’t hate Madonna. I do, however, have an inexplicable revulsion against Taylor Swift.
Brian
The safe version of male homosexuality is the version you see in dance clubs where mostly effeminate men go to meet other men. Here, women feel completely empowered over the men who are present. There’s a lot of resentment towards such women as they are exploiting an oppressed sub-culture (ie gay men) to enhance their power.
n900mixalot
I don’t love to hate Kim Davis. I don’t love anything about her.
SonOfKings
A cohesive culture requires an enemy. Somebody to hate. The ultimate objective of war is not to achieve victory, but to ensure perpetual conflict. Davis is our Goldstein. She’s unattractive, unlikeable, and infinitely disposable. She’s lusted for fame and attention her entire life, and now she has it. This is a match made in heaven.
SonOfKings
Madonna’s crime is breaking the social contract. She was supposed to continue to be fun and, eventually, evolve into one of those rare, untouchable fame goddesses ala Marlene Dietrich. But she’s gotten caught up in a desperate, neurotic attempt to stay relevant with an audience that moved on long ago. But there’s still a chance for this woman to redeem herself and finally take the throne that’s always been waiting for her. Firstly, she needs to record music that’s catchy, fun, and meaningful. And then tour with a genuinely classy show. I will say, though, that her live shows have been better than her albums in recent years.
Alan David Smith
the damn codes. to me they dont simplify anything they just make everything simplistic.
Glücklich
@spiffy:
Same here re Taylor Swift. Just churning out the most saccharin cloying garbage which then gets played to death everywhere.
Giancarlo85
I don’t hate anyone. I think some people are stupid and grossly misinformed. As far as Madonna if people are actually hating on her, that’s just stupid. There are more important issues to focus on. Like the republican war on the every day worker.
@Brian: What does that stupid comment have to do with the article? Jason Smeds, don’t quit your day job. I think you feel a huge threat towards women with power. Does Hillary Clinton make you shit your pants?
Louis Goodrich
You forgot Crocs.
martinbakman
List some sweeping generalizations and see if anyone reacts.
Why not include sarcastic, attention grabbing drama qweens?
Antony Nguyen
Please stop celbrating this idoit
SeeingAll
A lot of you guys aren’t getting it. This is not meant to be a list of the things gay men hate. It’s things they LOVE to hate. That’s very different.
Giancarlo85
@SeeingAll: And you don’t seem to get anything too well, so what’s your point again?
SeeingAll
@Giancarlo85: I mean that there are things gay men genuinely hate (AIDS ; getting wrinkles ; the rent in West Hollywood going higher…) and then there are the things they love-to-hate, bond over on blogs, enjoy trying to make funny cracks about…..(Kim Davis ; Sarah Palin; frat boys ; high school football teams ; Texas ; Israel; Christianity ; Ireland ; Donald Trump..)
SoNHGuy
I’m kind of new here but I’d like to add to the list…One of the things I don’t like about being a gay man is when I’m refereed to as a “Homo.”
Giancarlo85
@SeeingAll: why should I believe some straight troll who knows nothing about gay people?
Fvk847
I don’t understand the hate for straight women in gay bars; I mean it’s the best place to be on saturday night; they want to have fun too. Also I love frat boys; you do too; don’t lie.
Homo Erectus
@SeeingAll: @Giancarlo85: I hate both of you. And I LOVE to hate both of you!
@SoNHGuy: Welcome, homo!
SeeingAll
@Homo Erectus: LOL (We’re probably the same person anyway).
o.codone
@SonOfKings: OMG, you hit it right on the head. just when I was hoping that she would show up in a red satin gown, with bright red lipstick, instead she is wearing a ridiculous matador outfit with fishnet stockings she has had since the 70’s. she just doesn’t get it, she’s 57 (or so). Madge, honey, it’s not working, trust me it’s not.
Giancarlo85
@Homo Erectus: You could probably look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you see. THat’s a pretty sad existence.
@o.codone: Wow a bit jealous aren’t we? At least she at 57 is more famous and popular than you. WHat have you done in your life?
Homo Erectus
@Giancarlo85: Humor is not your strong suit, is it? Sorry you’re not intelligent enough to understand it.
Giancarlo85
@Homo Erectus: Again, your self hatred is evident. Do you look at yourself in disgust when you look at a mirror?