Balls. Nads. Testicles. Why do gay men not glory them as they do their partner in crime, the penis? After all, they are key not only to maleness and reproduction, but to male pleasure too.
So in honor of family jewels, here are five reasons to respect your cojones…
1. They produce testosterone
Not only do testicles produce the sperm necessary to sire future generations, they synthesize most of the body’s testosterone. Castrated men (men who have had their little boys removed) report lower sex drives, less body strength and worse memory and moods, likely due to lower testosterone levels. However, castration seems to lead to longer life. In two studies, castrated men lived about 14 years longer.
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2. They were not designed for monogamy — but not necessarily total promiscuity either
Chimpanzees have huge testicles compared to their body size. That’s because they are a highly promiscuous species. So male chimps need big balls to make a lot of sperm to compete with other males’ sperm. Gorillas have tiny balls compared to their body. That’s because only one alpha male mates with all the females in a gorilla troop — he has no competition.
Human testicle size is right in the middle of chimpanzee and gorilla testicle size. Biologists think that means we evolved to expect a “mild” amount of sperm competition. “Perhaps two or three mates,” at a time, primatologist Alison Jolly told The New York Times.
3. They are super sensitive to pain (and pleasure)
As anyone who has played soccer or wrestled surely knows, testicles have many nerve endings. So that makes them highly sensitive to pain — even a little pressure can be incredibly painful.
That’s probably because more than any other male body part, testicles are key to keeping the human species around. Lose them, and you become a genetic dead end. So by evolving to be highly sensitive to pain, testicles are ensured to be well protected.
But that sensitivity to pain also makes them highly sensitive to pleasure. If you don’t already, we recommend including testicular play in your sexual toolbox. Tickle, lick and tug (gentle, boys!)— it can feel amazing.
4. They are natural thermostats
Ever wonder why your balls hang at different angles and sizes at different times? That’s because your body is trying to keep your testicles at 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit (34 degrees Celsius). That’s the perfect temperature to make sperm. It’s also why your testicles aren’t safely tucked into your body — it would get too hot. So instead they hang off your body and change position and size to obtain the optimal temperature to assemble your swimmers.
5. Tugging on them can prevent ejaculation
The testicles retract into a man right before ejaculation in order to force the sperm out of the testicles and into the penis. So if you want to stop ejaculation to keep the good times rolling – tugging them down gently right before you cum can prevent ejaculation.
But be careful! You can really injure yourself if you pull too hard. To prevent injury, get a cock ring. It will keep your boys safe and secure and prevent them from retracting.
Nutty about testes? Watch and let Alex and Xander rock your world. You can also see past Science of Sin videos on the evolution of homosexual men, the wonder of the penis, and the science of weight loss.
Realitycheck
So if i want a faithful BF, I have to look for a guy with tiny nuts?
Don’t you guys love the way these studies are made on 100%
subjective observations, I mean after all….(rolling my eyes)
Chimpanzees have huge nuts and many mates so….. by logic…. NOT!!!
Daveliam
@Realitycheck: That’s not how it works. No one is suggesting that there is a correlation between testicle size and monogamy at the individual level. They are speaking at the species level. And, yes, it makes sense that a species that doesn’t have monogamous pairings and lives in large communities would see males developing strategies to maximize their ability to pass on their genes. It’s not 100% subjective observations; it’s grounded in evolutionary biology.
Arcamenel
The beginning of this piece is very cissexist. Not everyone who have a penis or balls for that matter are male and doesn’t make one a male because of that.
Realitycheck
@Daveliam: Now why did you have to be so logical?? LOL
David Shuford
This just nuts!
Brian Nellesen
I so fall into #2 with the Chimps…HATE IT.
Stache99
@Arcamenel: Yeah, and if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. Lol
TransParency_
“Balls. Nads. Testicles. Why do gay men not glory them as they do their partner in crime, the penis? After all, they are key not only to maleness and reproduction, but to male pleasure too.”.
Whoa, that’s a new low even for Queerty and its legions of privileged transphobic Cis-homos. There’s so much wrong with that statement: penis and testicles DON’T EQUAL MALE. Being attracted to penises and testicles DON’T MAKE A MAN GAY OR BI and conversely, you can be attracted to male with vaginas and be 100% gay. This is nothing but Cis-sexist, Cis-centric, Cis-normative, trans-exclusionary, sex-binary-obsessed Cis-garbage.
TransParency_
@Stache99: You are a transphobic, Cis-homo bigot.
McShane
@TransParency_: What is your damage, Heather?
Casey Clark
Should have also provided information / link on how to do a testicular self exam. Very important for our boys!
Stache99
@Brian Nellesen: Don’t hate it. Just bring yourself and those big balls over to me and I’ll take care of them. I mean you;)
Stache99
@TransParency_: Whatever you tell yourself hon..
Derrick Douglas
Firefari Carrol
Realitycheck
How to check for testicular cancer with a cute boy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMQSz-2nYYs&spfreload=10
testicular sound scan on a sports team
https://vimeo.com/74742259
more detailed exam, you will need a youtube account to see it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI1u4MnneNg
Xzamilio
@TransParency_: You know what? Piss off. Transgender men are males as far as I’m concerned, but give me a fucking break with this crap? Guess what? Just like the vagina monologues, there is a large group of us who have certain sexual organs that we identify with and that make us cisgender because they line up with our identity. But, the fact of the matter is, transgender men don’t have a penis, and don’t have testicles, and guess what? That’s fine. But you don’t get to decide for us what is acceptable for men and what isn’t, because the fact of the matter is, you as transgender males won’t have to worry about testicular cancer or getting kicked in the nuts. This isn’t information you’ll need to know.
I’m a liberal, but I swear some of you uber PC asswipes really mess it up and scare people off.
queermarek
@Xzamilio: Amen. I am liberal too, and I respect transgender folks, but I am not ashamed to have a pair of nuts and it’s not being a bigot to identify as a gay man. Some people are just born pissed off.
Arcamenel
@Xzamilio: @queermarek: You are both transphobic trash.
Realitycheck
@Arcamenel:
Get real, what makes a man is a combinations of dick and testosterone producing set of nuts.
I respect transgender, but lets not get unrealistic, otherwise you are
like to nasty lesbians trying to pick a fight with guys to prove what???