Can you even believe what straight people have to put themselves through? The very idea of dating someone of the opposite gender is so preposterous we sometimes have difficulty believing heterosexuality isn’t one big awful practical joke.
Case in point: the “Forever Alone” prank, in which legions of heterosexual men were tricked into meeting a blind date at a phone booth in Times Square. Of course, there was no date: just an unwilling flashmob of disappointed men, sadly checking their phones over and over and over.
Try the same thing with homos, and you’d have an orgy within minutes.
The project was cooked up by some lonely young men on the Internet who wanted to feel better than other lonely young men on the Internet, and it would have been a smashing success except for Fedora Guy. He dealt with the prank with such verve and aplomb that Vice tracked him down for an interview and sexy photoshoot, and gosh darn if he isn’t the hottest little ticket in New York.
“A guy doesn’t turn me on. But I’ll reach over and help a brother out in an orgy,” he says.
Jesus Christ, he’s out-trolled the trolls! He’s trolling so hard it’s turned into anti-trolling! Fedora Guy for President of the World!