John Smid, who once claimed to have been “cured” of homosexuality and who worked with various “ex-gay” groups, is once again a married man. Only this time, he didn’t marry a woman. He and his partner, Larry McQueen, announced they tied the knot last weekend.
In 1980, Smid left his wife to be with guys, but he had misgivings and tried to go straight again by marrying a second woman and becoming a leading spokesman for conversion therapy. He ran Love In Action, an ex-gay ministry based in Memphis, and sat on the board of Exodus International for 11 years.
In 2011, he went ex-ex-gay, divorcing his second wife and admitting he “never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.” He apologized for his past actions and launched a new ministry, Grace Rivers, which caters to the gay community.
“I believe that due to my former notoriety, my marriage will definitely have its impact,” he just told Towleroad in an interview.
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He says he hopes it will encourage other self-proclaimed “ex-gays” to learn to accept who they are and lead more open and truthful lives.
“I believe it is encouraging for other former ex-gays, and maybe even those who are still trying to hold on to their ex-gay belief system,” he said. “We think our relationship reveals something very normal, not strange or deceptive gay stereotypes. We have come to realize that our marriage is very much the same as your average heterosexual marriage.”
When asked if there have been any people within the LGBT community who have given him grief over marrying a man, Smid replied: “No actually, I think that’s been worked out, but you never know, there may be some.”
Congrats to the happy new couple.
Related stories:
It’s “Ex-Gay” Awareness Month! Here Are Five Former Homos And What They’ve Been Up To Lately
STUDY: Two More Cases That Prove That Ex-Gay Therapy Is A Crock
Ex-Ex-Gays: Meet The People Who Tried To “Cure” You
Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Charlie in Charge
It’s never too late. Congratulations.
Cam
Too bad that instead of dealing with his baggage he felt the need to attack the gay community, and try to prevent the passage of the civil right he now has taken part in.
stanhope
All of the wreckage he caused….he should have figured it out before causing so much damage.
1EqualityUSA
Why are they dressed alike?
DonW
I wish them happiness — they look like a nice couple. But I will withhold forgiveness until I see Smid doing everything in his power to very publicly repudiate the damaging ideology he spent so many years promoting.
Alan down in Florida
Sounds like a good place to end a memoir – if you know what I mean.
Ogre Magi
I still hte him
OzJosh
I wonder if he’s thought of founding a “ministry” for attention-seeking whores?
Hillers
Next up: Mike Glatze. Step forward, sister!
fredo777
Oh, hello. “Felicia”, was it? Welp, I regret that I’m far too busy to stay + chat right now.
Au revoir.
TomMc
@Hillers: I remember first hearing about him through that New York Times story that one of his pals penned. Yes indeed, what you’ve suggested would be a good thing, but only if it made Mr. Glatze sincerely happy.
AxelDC
I guess it didn’t take.
mcflyer54
Let’s see, gay, ex-gay, gay, ex-gay, gay … seems like a revolving closet door. Might be a bit early to declare victory for either side. Have we now reached a point where professional ex-gays can make a sustainable living (ie: Grace Rivers – which sounds like a drag name to me) providing religion to gays rather than a fraudulent living “curing” them of their homosexuality?
1EqualityUSA
…dressed alike and same facial hair style.
barkomatic
I’m glad he reversed course and finally accepted himself and found a husband, but I can’t help but wonder how many young guys struggling with their sexuality that he led into unhappy marriages with women.
kevininbuffalo
@OzJosh: Lol, it’s amazing how these guys go from one scam, excuse me, “ministry” to another without missing a beat. And he’ll find fresh suckers to follow him I’m sure. People like Smid will do anything to make money, except work.
jorgecruz
Now he has to admit that the Bible is fiction and he will be living honestly.
SteveDenver
@jorgecruz: In the article it points out he is heading up a new ministry catering to gays and lesbians. He has not given up on the Christian myth, he has tailored it for his aims.
Trippy
Glad he’s happy. With that said, he probably knows “stuff” about the NOM crowd. I’m certain he probably has dirt on all the right people. Maybe if he shared, we’d be more forgiving.
Will L
@1EqualityUSA: Yeah, kinda looks like he still has issues of a sort.
I have a problem with being too happy for them. I’m glad he thinks he has his sh*t together now but (as pointed out by others) look at all the unhappiness he has caused others in the meantime. Karma’s a bitch…
Aromaeus
Think of all the lives his internalized homophobia has cost. All the individuals who won’t be able to celebrate their nuptials because they killed themselves before they could ever see that day.
enlightenone
An “ex-gay” should be denied a license to marry a man! Just two jackasses in twin striped outfits. Matching outfits – Isn’t this the adolescent behavior of teen girls?
jwtraveler
Ex-Ex-Gay Marries McQueen! Sounds like a NY Post headline.
MisterDemand
Look what he did was terrible, but hes apologized and is now working hard to make up for the damage he caused. What more would you ask of him?
enlightenone
@MisterDemand: “…now working hard to make up for the damage he caused????”
“What more would you ask of him?” I demand you tell us what he has done to “make up for the damage HE CAUSED?
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ETC…..
mz.sam
Well, duh…it took McQueen long enough to realize his truth. He could’ve saved himself and others of all the damage and pain of what his dick was trying to tell him all these years.
Mikah
It’s sad that so many Gay people are brainwashed to hate themselves and waste their precious time on this earth trying to live up to others expectations.He’ll never get back the years he gave to this “ex-gay” nonsense,but better late than never.I’m happy for him.Live YOUR life for YOU.
asa1973
Do people wish he were still ex-gay and supporting ex-gay ideology? Do you wish that all the closeted people in organizations like NOM remain closeted and continue to give a voice to that ideology?
I think this man is a bit of a fame whore. His words seem to imply that he still yearns for a hetero-normative existence. And I think he needs to atone for the years of pain he brought to gay men and women.
I don’t care if he is still Christian, just like I don’t care that there are gay Christians who were never ex-gay. We should accept that there is diversity among our ranks.
This man has a lot of making up to do, but I think this is an important step forward. I DO think it will be important for others struggling to come out to see that someone within his lifetime finally was able to accept himself and admit his mistakes.
And come on! We’ve all seen so many photos of gay men getting married who are dressed like twins. Don’t randomly try to call them out on this. If the ex-gay factor were not a quotient, you’d be talking about how adorable they looked together.
enlightenone
@asa1973: “And come on! We’ve all seen so many photos of gay men getting married who are dressed like twins. Don’t randomly try to call them out on this. If the ex-gay factor were not a quotient, you’d be talking about how adorable they looked together.”
Sorry, didn’t know they were in their wedding outfits – looks more like corporate casual Fridays with a GED certificate in their hands that provided the intelligence to know you can’t change your sexual orientation! You can, however, choose to not identify as “gay.”
And no, I have never described males past the age of 4 as “adorable,” let alone two aging, gray haired males, who have taken on one of life’s most challenging act of a life commitment together in a world that rather see you publicly stoned, jailed, silenced, remain invisible, or at the very least not have our “lifestyle shoved down their throats!”
taylormatt
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1EqualityUSA
asa1973, It’s like he’s marrying himself. He’s been “loving” himself so long that he decided to marry a version of himself. I hope he got himselves something nice from the registry.
asa1973
@enlightenone: ????
asa1973
@enlightenone: ????@1EqualityUSA: I get that. I really do. I’m only saying – still – that I have seen so many pictures (and I’m sure most of you have as well) of couples over the past decade dressed like clones of each other, right down to the hairstyle, facial hair, and jewelry. This has occurred whether they held an actual ceremony or simply went to city hall to get their certificate.
To relate this to the guy’s ex-gay past is ridiculous. To relate it to his egotism is slightly more reasonable, but, I think, still off-base. I, personally, would not have chosen any part of those outfits, but I can certainly separate bad taste from a checkered past.
Saint Law
@1EqualityUSA: Oh lol.