DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

Fred Karger Is The Only One Who Thinks He’s In This Week’s Presidential Debate

This weekend openly-gay GOP Presidential candidate Fred Karger sent out an e-mail to his followers, the bigwigs at FOX, the Washington Examiner, and the Iowa Republican party basically saying, “Yay! I met the minimum poll requirements to participate in this Friday’s Iowa debate.” But FOX is all like “Hahaha, NO.” Now lawyers are involved. And you thought televised debates were boring.

Up ’til now “Fred Who?” has not only been Karger’s self-effacing intro, but also how the mainstream media and other Republicans seem to respond to any mention of his candidacy. Karger hasn’t been in any televised debates, his positions get no media play, he didn’t even place on a recent list of GOP contenders.

According to Karger’s e-mail, he “garnered at least an average of one percent in five national polls based on most recent polling leading up to the registration day” of the debate, qualifying him to appear onstage next to all the other GOPs who wanna ban gay marriage. But according to the Sirius XM Out Q New Blog, FOX News’s Vice President of News Michael Clemente says that since three of the polls were online surveys, they don’t count. Clemente also says that one of the five polls has Karger receiving less than one-percent, rendering him ineligible.

But Karger is all like, “Those online polls were done by Zogby and Harris Interactive and should totes count.” He hasn’t responded about the “less than one-percent” claim. But he did accuse FOX of making up “subjective” criteria and then threatened to sic a pack of lawyers on their subjective asses.

We totally want Karger in the debate, especially if he did actually qualify. Not only is it the correct thing to do, but we’d love to see him light up his opponents on their abysmal gay rights records. Maybe he can start with Michele Bachmann and then move onto Mitt Romney and the rest of the clowns. We’d stay with a bottle of red and some queer pals to watch that elephant battle.

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