Comments on: Friday Forum: What Should the Gay Community About NY Marriage?

By: The Gay Numbers

The Gay Numbers — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 08:31:33 +0000

@Bruno: Ditto on the Republican point.

By: Bruno

Bruno — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:23:16 +0000

1.) Put HUGE pressure on Republican Senators from liberal districts, if those exist, by petitioning, emailing, and phoning.
2.) Create an environment where Diaz et al. are labelled “homophobe” and “bigot” at any possibility. This may be something that has to be worked out with the NYT.
3.) Take to the streets. Those November demonstrations really worked, NYC and Albany should be the main targets. This is the time for NYC gays to show their stuff.

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:15:01 +0000

Well done Wayne, that’s what we needed. Okay everybody, now we have their email addresses. Spread the word and start to send messages.

By: Mark Woods

Mark Woods — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:27:25 +0000

I agree that coming out to everyone, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you or them feel, is key.

In a way, coming out for gays is an equivalent action comparable to refusing to sit in the back of bus, for people like Rosa Parks.

And Rosa Parks didn’t wait until a committee told her not to budge, she just acted upon her conscious, from what I understand.

If every gay person in my life would stop hiding to ‘protect’ older relatives who just ‘wouldn’t understand’ what it means to be gay, the effect could be extraordinary.

I think Paterson has the highest motives, and that we should, too. If not New York, then where? If not now, then when?

Why doesn’t Paterson’s leadership drag us out of our comfy SUVs and into the streets?

Perhaps the cautious national gay leadership needs a kick in the ass, and maybe Paterson is just the guy to do it.

By: How to Win Marriage…

How to Win Marriage… — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:35:59 +0000

If you want equality, come out to everyone–grandparents, great uncles, etc. It’s that simple. I read interviews with four GOP NY Assemblymembers who changed their stance from anti to pro-marriage equality. They did so because someone in their family or circle or friends/coworkers came out to them and explained the issues. It became personal and real. It also helped that these lawmakers discovered LGBT people actually lived in their districts or that folks in their districts had LGBT nieces, nephews, uncles, etc. It’s important to also note that none of these lawmakers lost their re-election bids; and most are in conservative upstate New York.

And I reject Queerty’s assumption that groups like HRC aren’t involved in the NY battle. Obviously Empire State Pride Agenda has been strategizing this for ages. Most of the important work goes on, unseen, in the background, not in front of the news cameras.

Alan Van Capelle and ESPA have done amazing work and deserve our support, not our cynical bitchiness.

By: Robert, NYC

Robert, NYC — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:48:38 +0000

Exactly how many votes does the NY State Senate need to pass legislation? We need to concentrate on getting those numbers raised and ignore the three conservative democrats, Rev. Ruben Diaz, Pedro Espada and Carl Kruger who are going to help defeat marriage equality by voting with the rethuglicans. While I’m at it, why is a religious cult minister allowed to hold political office, isnt’ that a conflict of interest with the separation of church and state prohibition? I don’t quite get that. Maybe that’s something else we should be looking at as well as the removal of tax-exempt status of every religious cult and faith based organization that meddle in the political process and try to influence the outcome of equality legislation as we saw in California.

By: rogue dandelion

rogue dandelion — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:16:22 +0000

@playasinmar: that what i thinking!
Also, i think queerty might be jumping the gun a little bit. I think HRC will get on board.

By: Erick

Erick — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:28:20 +0000

What Should the Gay Community “what?” About NY Marriage?

By: playasinmar

playasinmar — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:44:26 +0000

This Headline No Verb!

By: Chitown Kev

Chitown Kev — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:18:10 +0000

Look, it’s a Hail Mary by Paterson but still, he didn’t have to do this. The man is walking the walk.

Unlike Ah-nold, who vetoed 2 marriage equality bills.

By: ajax

ajax — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:47:12 +0000

Talk to someone in your office, at the grocery store checkout, in the elevator – wherever you have someone’s ear for a few minutes – about why equality is so important to you. Get your mother and father and brother and sister and cousin to do the same thing, too. Tell them to tell everyone how much hurt they feel because someone they love is not treated equally.

I’m going to a wedding this weekend. I’ll know only a handful of people. But I will talk to many. I will introduce them to my partner and tell each new acquaintance how touched we are by the beautiful occasion and how much my partner and I hope to be married in front of our family and friends someday.

Do these things yourself. You don’t need a group to create change.

By: Wayne

Wayne — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:31:22 +0000

Here is a list of email address for New York State Senators:

By: NewYorkness

NewYorkness — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:28:08 +0000

The groups need to jump on this pursuit and take hold of it. Paterson may have done this for reasons personal and political but at the end of the day, isn’t this one of our most just gay causes of the current times? When we have THE NY GOVERNOR pursuing gay marriage in New York, our grassroots groups and GLBT organizations should endorse and do a full press court on engaging state senators (questions on whether senate has the votes) to vote.

…or would this take the limelight out of some of the GLBT organization leaders….hmmm…sort of the same thing Paterson is being criticized of.

To not take hold of this endorsement and pursuit by Paterson may backfire on us. Non-Gay gay marriage supporters and foes may look at us and think “well if they are not backing the governor then why should we?” OR “well we have momentum going for us so let’s put 110% muscle into this gay marriage ban and pursue state amendments or the like”.

’nuff said.

By: mixed-fruits

mixed-fruits — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:21:40 +0000

I am saying make an economic case. And make it loud. Perhaps start a petition asking why legislators at this time of crisis are against New Yorkers spending their dough for weddings in NY. Why do we have to travel to one of the 5 neighboring jurisdictions, where same-sex marriage is legal, only to come back and waste our own AND the public’s money by going to courts to demand our rights? Why do I need to go to Quebec, Ontario, Massachusetts, Connecticut or Vermont, if I WANT to marry in NYS, I want to have a wedding in an area in upstate, which I am sure would not refuse my money. Why is the legislature wasting what practically will come to NY by default? If SSM is legalized, I bet the lgbt tourists will spend more even if it is just to get “fake married” (since it probably won’t be legal in their state)? Why not give the state an edge over others? My guess is that there would be an inflow of $$$.

This text can work as a sample -> http://mixed-fruits.blogspot.c.....-this.html

By: InExile

InExile — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:59:17 +0000

All of these battles are worth fighting for. When I hear our various gay organizations are not turning up the heat on these politicians,it makes me wonder why not? These battles are rare and each one deserves an all out effort to hopefully get them passed. New Yorkers in support of marriage equality should be in the streets NOW!

By: Wayne

Wayne — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:17:26 +0000

Pick up the phone and call, or email, or go and visit your state legislators in the House and Senate. GET IN CONTACT. Tell them why we desire marriage equality. Let them see and hear from the real Americans who are denied equal access to the benefits of citizenship. And once you contacted them, Call them back! And it wouldn’t hurt to start lobbying our straight friends to do the same. Start asking your straight friends to call on their legislators to support equality. Be respectful, but be vocal!

By: dgz

dgz — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:08:30 +0000

but that’s just the problem: there *isn’t* anywhere to turn, unless you know a senator. our lobbying groups can’t do anything with closed minds, and they don’t want to pour all their money and manpower into what will likely be major setback in one of the bluest of blue states.

i know people are already emailing/snail-mailing legislators, but these polis know their platform and their constituents — they aren’t easily swayed. now don’t get me wrong; i’m not saying *not* to email/write a letter. in fact, please do so. but i am saying not to get your hopes up. there is a good reason those involved in politics are usually cynical.

my only advice is this: when you write, don’t argue your case, these peeps have heard it all before, and won’t read it. just say this: “this issue is important to me, please vote yes. if you do, expect my vote and donation in your next campaign.” that’s it. that’s all. good luck.