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“Game of Thrones” Actor Pining for More Gay Sex

theonWith Game of Thrones galloping towards its season premiere in April, HBO’s mighty marketing juggernaut is churning into full gear. The latest tidbit to come across our desk: Finn Jones, who plays Loras Tyrell, laments the lack of gay sex for his character.

“There’s not enough hot gay sex for Loras this season. I’m afraid there’s just not enough,” Finn told a blogger at a recent party. Well, boo-urns.

That means that if you’re looking to stem the rose with the Knight of Flowers, you’ll have to turn to fan fiction. Here’s a Tumblr that recalls Loras and Renly in happier days, and you’ll be happy to learn that there is a vast archive of fan-authored erotica on the internet, which is why it was invented in the first place.

Jones did hint that he has a flirtation with a new character this season, and we are brimming with curiosity. Could it be a steamy Dornish affair? Surely not Oberyn. One of the minor Lannisters? That would be particularly delicious, considering Tywin’s distaste. Or perhaps he slides into bed with Nute Gunray? Wait, hold on, we’re mixing our fandoms now.

Whatever the case, we can’t felt feeling a bit let-down that HBO won’t be treating us to more cock this season. What’s Gendry been up to? And hey, maybe now would be a good time for Theon to take up bottoming?

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