You wouldn't know it by their imdb pages, but Shannen Doherty and Robert Gant are starring in a new here! network spy thriller, Kiss Me Deadly: A Jacob Keane Assignment. Kiss us, here!! We've been waiting for this exact thing: a gay cable television spy movie series – yes, there are more – starring our favorite Queer as Folk hunk and that dastardly Ms. D!

Fabulous!

Here (!) is the rundown: Gant plays the Jacob Keane, a gay former spy turned photographer living in Milan with his boyfriend and three daughters, all of whom were birthed by a lesbian pal. Sounds perfectly progressive, right? Right.

Unfortunately, Doherty's Marta (no last name, very mysterious) pulls him back into the spy games. She needs a bit of a hand help finding the villainous Vigo, played by gay actor Ian Roberts. Apparently he's threatening their families, or something. You know what this all means? Loads of running around, a billion confused looks and a gun fight or two. And some intrigue. Probably.

here! founder Stephen P. Jarchow had this to say about the ejaculation-worthy television event: "We are excited to bring the spy thriller genre to the LGBT community with the Kiss Me Deadly.". Wow. What an endorsement! Miraculously, Jarchow manages to work up more praise when he describes Gant as "talented and openly gay" – which are both true – and calls Doherty "dynamic" – which is code for either "bitchy" or "bankable". Or both.

No date on when we'll all get to see this miraculous television moment, but we'll keep you posted. Literally.