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Gay Boy’s Mama Fights Back

A Vermont mother’s tired of anti-gay editorials in her local paper. In an effort to channel her anger, the on-the-money mama wrote a long, scathing reply.

We’ve included the entire Family Pride-provided letter after the jump, but want to highlight our favorite part of her anti-homophobe harangue:

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don’t know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn’t put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it’s about time you started doing that.

Girl!

Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people. I’m tired of your foolish rhetoric about the “homosexual agenda” and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called “fag” incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn’t bear to continue living any longer, that he didn’t want to be gay and that he couldn’t face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don’t know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn’t put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it’s about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won’t get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don’t know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you’d best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I’m puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that’s not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I’ll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for “true Vermonters.”

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn’t give their lives so that the “homosexual agenda” could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn’t the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can’t bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.

How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.

The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 ‘05 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about “those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing” asks: “What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?”

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?

By:           Andrew Belonksy
On:           Aug 24, 2007
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 18 Comments
    • WWH
      WWH

      Holy shit. That’s one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I’ve ever read. So glad you found that, AB.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Heather_L_James
      Heather_L_James

      Believe it or not that letter originally appeared in the Valley News in April of 2000, and I hand it out to all the parents, at least those willing to listen, of the kids at our local LGCSC.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:09 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Alexa
      Alexa

      That needs to be read by everyone.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dawster
      Dawster

      Someone please send this to Jim Naugle…

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • degan22
      degan22

      “In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn’t bear to continue living any longer, that he didn’t want to be gay and that he couldn’t face a life without dignity.”

      Tears streaming down my face right now. I totally recognize this scene.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:33 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • EdWoody
      EdWoody

      “You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings.” Possibly one of the best and most appropriate quotes ever.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 2:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack Jett
      Jack Jett

      Wow…

      Incredible…..

      We should post this on every conservative website that we can.

      jack jett

      Aug 24, 2007 at 3:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • kamasutrajones
      kamasutrajones

      Jack Jett, I think you mean that we should post this on every anti-gay website. Not all conservatives are anti-gay, nor are all liberals pro-gay. To align conservatism with anti-homosexuality and liberalism with pro-homosexuality is like aligning homosexuality with pedophilia (or every other cursed name we’ve been called for centuries). But, you are correct otherwise, this letter should serve as a ministry for gay causes to the anti-gay folks. I had forgotten it, but had read it when it first appeared in the Valley News back when Vermont was wrought with angst over the first civil unions law in the country.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 3:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hisurfer
      hisurfer

      Not sure who changed the dates on this one … it’s been around awhile.

      The Advocate did an article in 2000 on the author.
      http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1589/is_2000_June_20/ai_62741775/pg_1

      Aug 24, 2007 at 3:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hisurfer
      hisurfer

      Oops, that was kind of blunt. It’s still super powerful, of course!

      Aug 24, 2007 at 3:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • codymurp
      codymurp

      Agreed with degan22. So familiar…

      Aug 24, 2007 at 5:57 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Miss Understood
      Miss Understood

      Re: kamasutrajones

      Sorry, you are wrong. Most conservatives ARE homophobic. Conservatives are not like a racial or ethnic group. Intelligent people do not judge someone because of the color of their skin because it says nothing about their character. Intelligent people SHOULD judge others by their actions and beliefs. “Conservative” refers to a set of political beliefs. The conservative movement is anti gay. Even conservatives who claim not to be anti gay generally support a political system that IS anti gay. You cannot tell me you are pro gay if you voted for Bush.Sorry Cleopatra but you are in de’ Nile.

      Aug 24, 2007 at 10:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Martini-boy
      Martini-boy

      It could not have possibly been published in 2000 if it contains a line saying,

      “The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 ‘05 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin…”

      Unless the author had a tarot deck, there’s not way she could predict what would be published in a newspaper five years into the future.

      Aug 25, 2007 at 1:17 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jack Jett
      Jack Jett

      karmasutrajones

      Wow, I didn’t know about these conservative websites that are pro LGBTQ. I still think they would like to see this powerful letter.

      Perhaps you can post a list of those websites here so we know who our right wing counterparts are, and send them this note as an FYI.

      I say list them here as I think we would all like to see, however, you can email them to me through my website if you wish.

      Thanks,

      jack jett
      info@jackejett.com

      Aug 25, 2007 at 2:52 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hisurfer
      hisurfer

      Just in case you’re not joking, martini-boy … it’s very common for people to amend details and dates on stories before they pass them on. It’s how urban legends are born. Check out snopes.com for hundreds of examples. What’s surprising here is that this version of the letter only changes the date (as far as I could tell). Usually they get embellished a lot more.

      In terms of conservatives … Barry Goldwater was pretty strong on gay rights at the end. You don’t get much further to the right than him.

      Aug 25, 2007 at 5:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • floodlite
      floodlite

      don’t you wish you all had a parent that would stand up for you in this way…

      Aug 26, 2007 at 1:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Miss Understood
      Miss Understood

      For anyone who thinks that conservatives are not anti gay:

      Aug 28, 2007 at 2:10 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Divine Grace
      The Divine Grace

      Thanks, mom!

      Aug 29, 2007 at 12:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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