Nathan Fort was just beginning to open up about who he really is when, without warning, his path towards self-acceptance was split open by a cruel chasm. But his strength and determination proved to be stronger forces than he could have imagined.
Growing up gay in rural Arkansas is never ideal, but those were the cards Nathan was dealt.
“Growing up I was inculcated with the belief that ‘gay’ automatically meant ‘going to hell,’ he writes in a first-person post on OutSports.
It’s easy to fill in the next parts — confusion, denial, loneliness and self-hatred set in through adolescence and high school. In a religious town of only 1,300 people, finding yourself against the grain is an uphill battle.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Related: All Hell Breaks Loose After Gay Kentucky Teen Comes Out During Basketball Game
When Nathan began to excel at basketball, he suddenly went from “that weird kid” to being noticed and accepted, but even that couldn’t solve the underlying issue.
Often, LGBTQ kids aren’t able to blossom until they leave their parents’ home for college, and Nathan was certainly on that track.
Even though he left for a Bible school only an hour away from home, the distance helped him grow courage to explore what was going on inside.
Things were looking up.
“After my sophomore year at Bethel, I worked up the courage to try a gay club, just to see what the gay scene was like,” he writes. “There I met a very nice guy who lived near me who wanted to take me out. We left the club together, my heart beating fast, excited and nervous about what the night might hold.”
But what sounds like the start of a tear-jerking coming of age story turned into a nightmare.
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After driving for a while, the man “wrestled me out of the car. He sexually abused me. He drugged me. He raped me. He changed my life. It’s a struggle to just write a few lines about it, but it’s part of who I am now.”
The traumatic episode set Nathan back. He started dating girls again — started bottling himself back up in an effort to hide the pain.
It was another year until he was able to open up again and tell someone about what he was going through.
To his surprise, he was embraced.
“It turned out to be so much easier than I suspected. I spoke to each teammate, one by one, and for the most part they have supported me. My coming out didn’t change the way the coaches treat me either; They consider me as any regular basketball player, not ‘the gay basketball player.’
This season I played in every game, usually in the top five on my team in scoring coming off the bench and contributing every way I could to the team to succeed.”
A photo posted by Nathan Fort (@nathanbeast30) on
That isn’t to say everything’s been easy, or that Nathan has tied all his loose ends up into a neat little bow.
Some students stopped talking to him after they found out he’s gay, his parents are on their own journeys leading hopefully towards understanding and acceptance, and Nathan will continue to face internal and external obstacles surrounding his identity.
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But that’s the point, isn’t it? To wage on, fighting the battles as they come, celebrating each victory along the way.
We hope Nathan is celebrating now — he deserves it.
Nicholas A Baio
Exactly-Not fun at all-Taking Control as a “Survivor” is exactly the story/journey we need to teach our future generations-
Adrian Lehman-Sizemore
its the hardest thing reconciling being gay and being raped, talk about victim blaming/shaming and than imaging you are a 12 year old. but talking about it allows me to take power over it and i am glad more men are now willing to speak about this
Nicholas A Baio
Any Day-Any Time-Speaking to prevent-any time, any day
Nicholas S. McMillan
I am so proud of him. My prayers are with him and hope every goes the way he wants and should go.
Colin Kennedy
To many men been suffering for years with the abuse they suffered many years ago yet i salute this man who has a backbone to speak out.well done
Gigi Gee
What courage!
Captain Obvious
Courage and stuff yep. But dat ass though. D a m n !
Christopher Auker-Howlett
Very brave man.
Sand Nierenberg
Good for him he’s not alone we maybe strangers but we are here for him in these situations we need to ban together as gay men and be there for eachother I’m a gay man but all if my friends are straight married couples I’m so lucky I’m included on everything it has never been a factor for me I’ve always felt right and good I only stay with very affluent people I don’t socialize with trailer trash only extremely ups scale people it’s the social scene I’m most comfortable in
Kieran
I’m glad Nathan had the courage to publicly acknowledge being raped. But it’s important for him to make it totally clear that being sexually abused by a male predator did NOT “turn him gay”. He had his homosexual orientation BEFORE being raped.
jamih
@Kieran: Just shut it you neurotic queen, it’s people like you who are the problem.
Aromaeus
So wait he met someone in the real world and was still attacked? Yet according to the comments here on online dating that only happens when you hook up with someone you meet online! It’s almost like there are horrible sick people everywhere!
I’m happy he was able to find peace with himself after what he’s been through and wish him the best in the future.
Richard Crooks
This young man is so brave and a very strong person. I hope that he never gives up and stays the course.
Chris
I am happy for this young man. It seems like he’ll work his way through to a point where he has a good life ahead of himself.
Tackle
Something about this story sounds a bit off. Not saying he wasn’t raped, and surly not blaming him, but I wonder off it really happened in the order that he claims. ” Driving for awhile. Wrestled out of the car. Sexually abused. Drugged and raped?” I wonder is that the correct order? Could drugs have been used first, making him vulnerable/more susceptible to being attacked and then the sexual assault followed? And not victim blaming, because even if drugs were used first, it still gives no one the right to take advantage of you in any way.
And WOW Queerty! A story about rape and you use “Split open by a cruel chasm.”
Reminds me of some yrs back on, when a Trans person was set on fire, and the tag line was a ” Hot new trend.” Definitely not funny or cute…
Brian
Homosexuality in Arkansas is widely tolerated. It might not be accepted at the religious level but it’s tolerated.
In New York, if you identify as homosexual male, they want to segregate you and treat you like a confined species.
Luke Ellison
ð??¢
jkb
Awesome guy. I wish him well.
tr6886
Brian, you closeted voice is quite annoying. By the way, If I had cute guy like him to be with me, I will consider to settle down.
Billy Budd
Brought tears to my eyes. I wish him to be happy.
Poncho Sanchez
Unfortunately, I think the gay community is going to have to adjust to fact that there are many gay predators, psychopathy and homosexuality, while having a genetic component, may also have the same neuro developmental correlates…..damaged dopamine receptors, decreased brain laterilization, decreased activity in the pre-frontal cortex, pre-natal birth stress…..no wonder why crystal meth excels in the community.
Billy Budd
@Poncho Sanchez: This is total, utter, sheer, complete bullshit. You don’t know what you are talking about.
Billy Budd
Gay guys may use more meth, but that is certainly a behavioral trait, that has nothing to do with genetics. We also fuck more because men like to have sex and when you combine two people who love to fuck, they are going to fuck more than the average. There is no evidence at all that gay men are more prone to psychopathy or sexual deviancy. Homosexuality is normal and is found in hundreds of species of animals.
Brian
@Billy Budd: I agree with you.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@Poncho Sanchez: Webmaster, please remove this comment.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@jamih: You are too. Abso-fucking-lutley.
Poncho Sanchez
Ok. Do you really want to go in this direction. I did my research, now you do yours.
Sexual orientation and its relation to mental disorders and suicide attempts: findings from a nationally representative sample.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21324241
While there is less research on psychopathy, keep in mind it is generally considered to be a “left-brain” disorder like schizophrenia.
Billy Budd
@Poncho Sanchez: Please have it in mind that gay people suffer all their lives with repression from society and discrimination. This would easily explain the higher suicide rates. As I said, it is well know that these minorities make more use of psychotropic drugs. These drugs are proven to be triggers of mental diseases such as psychosis and depression. So, there you have it. It has nothing to do with genetics. There is absolutely NO association between “gay genetics” and mental diseases in that study. They just report the findings without making the silly and utterly absurd interpretation that you’ve made.
Billy Budd
The links between drugs and mental ilnesses:
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/problemsdisorders/cannabis.aspx
https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/methamphetamine/what-are-long-term-effects-methamphetamine-abuse
People who use drugs, straight or gay, are at risk of developing psychosis and depression. If gays use more drugs (maybe due to the hard time they have being gay or maybe just because they like to party) they will have more problems.
Poncho Sanchez
@Billy Budd:
I never said mental disordsers were all genetics, I said it epigenetic (a combination of genetics, birth stress and pre-natal hormone imbalances).
Michael Paul
Nathan tell everyone to f*** off and be proud of who you are. Time to get real with homopobes and fight back.
Cristian Thomas
Stay strong
Billy Budd
@Poncho Sanchez: So you think the Bonobo Monkeys (our closest animal relatives) also have vast birth stress and pre-natal hormone imbalances? That MUST be the reason, because in that species boys fuck boys like there is no tomorrow.
Poncho Sanchez
@Billy Budd:
It doesn’t matter what I personally believe, I originally stated that there is a lot of predators and mental illness in the gay community, and the research confirms that:
Higher Risk of Mental Health Problems for Homosexuals
http://psychcentral.com/lib/higher-risk-of-mental-health-problems-for-homosexuals/
Daggerman
..the way so called victims relay information from the point of meeting a guy who seems so nice to them, to all of a sudden getting raped is so annoyingly obscure. There is always more to it…you either are extremely dum or lying about the encounter. Think about it, a man on his own cannot do the ACT, the whole business himself. I am inclined to disbelieve rape stories..if there’s a couple or maybe 4 guys involved then OK it can happen and the victim cannot do much….when in prison you can understand how quick it takes place..
onthemark
@Poncho Sanchez: Did you bother to read your own link? It doesn’t say a thing about “predators,” it refers mostly to depression (which professionals do not call “mental illness”), and it supports Billy Budd’s comments regarding discrimination. “Discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation predicted certain neurotic disorder outcomes, even after adjustment for potentially confounding variables.”
I’d even venture to guess a self-reporting bias, in that LGBT people are probably MUCH more likely than heterosexuals to visit mental health professionals in the first place.
Bauhaus
@Daggerman:
You don’t believe a man can be raped unless he’s dumb, lying about it, or has been gang raped? Wow.
Nathan’s resilience and courage is inspiring.
NoCagada
@Brian: Now, you’re an expert on Arkansas? BANJO MUSIC
NoCagada
@Captain Obvious: What, exactly, were you looking at?
o.codone
@Daggerman: I was raped by two guys when I was in the military. I try not to use the word “raped” because people automatically say, “no you weren’t”. People don’t believe that it happened, they say I’m making it up. “You were passed out, how do you know”. The investigating officer concluded “it didn’t happen”. But it did. I am to blame because I was drunk and high and naked and I passed out. Two guys cummed in my ass because it was a party, it was funny. They walked away. I shit out their cum and have been full of deep masochistic self-loathing ever since. I am a drug addict. Rape is not a lie. Believe a brother when he says he was raped. Once that happens you are trapped and there is no easy exit.
Bauhaus
@o.codone:
No, you are not to blame, no matter how drunk, high, naked, or passed out you were. YOU are not to blame!
onthemark
@Bauhaus: That post was probably Mr. Codone’s twisted idea of an April Fool prank.
o.codone
@Bauhaus: Yup, there it is, right there ^. Rape and violence is funny. Bauhaus, many thx for your kind thoughts.
GayEGO
@o.codone: That is a shame that you were raped by two guys, whether or not you are straight or gay. I am gay and when I was in the Navy a couple of guys tried to get me drunk but they were not my friends and I felt something was wrong so I quickly left them. But don’t let that change how you view yourself, you are the same person and you must put that awful experience behind and move on. Good luck!
onthemark
@o.codone: Oh come off it, we’ve read your demented posts for a couple of years. Even in the very unlikely event that story is true, you must be aware that it wasn’t your “fault” and it’s not the “reason” you’re a drug addict. (Although it would hardly be surprising if you are a drug addict, based on your demented posts, but that would definitely not be the reason for it.) You even named yourself after a widely-abused drug: what’s that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to be “funny”? Yes, I think you were making an April Fool’s joke and it is in bad taste.
ctelbako
I am gay and was raped in my early 20s in the 1960s. Ages ago! I had to accept it, couldn’t talk to anyone or go to the police back then. I got over it, but I didn’t deserve to have that happen to me. It made me realize what it is like for a woman to be raped by a man.
Daggerman
…is he saying that after a man raped him he actually thinks he needed it and is better for it? Like he must know, needs to know something ‘concrete’ about his sexuality??? I don’t know the scene in which he was raped but it always is very amazingly controversial subject. I wonder if he feels like, when a man actually does put his **** in his bottom it makes a difference to his being????
dbmcvey
@Tackle: Wow! You’re like Nancy Drew. Where’d you get your Private Eye license?
dbmcvey
@Brian: Do you just write stupid things without ever bothering to do any research or find out if what you’re saying is correct?
dbmcvey
@Poncho Sanchez: Correlation is not causation. Do some research on that.
dbmcvey
@Daggerman: I think he’s saying that rather than let being raped destroy him he decided to take control of his life and not be a victim. I really don’t know what your issue is.
EvonCook
I was essentially raped too by a guy who picked me up at 15 as I was transferring buses to go to back to boarding school. He took me home and I knew and really enjoyed, LOVED! sucking, but then he had something else in mind and wanted my butt. I was scared but we were alone so saying no or hesitating didn’t put him off, and it hurt a lot at first because I didn’t know or was afraid to relax, and he climbed on top of me and didn’t stop even if he wasn’t violent. When he finished and I felt his warm juice inside I was less traumatized but when he saw my tears he was terribly taken aback, and asked if it was my first time. He said he just thought I was playing hard to get. After that he was considerate and actually took me at dawn for the two hour drive to school. By the time we got to school I took him into my dormitory to show him my room and then closed the door and tried to make him do it again. He freaked out and said I was illegal and he could get into a lot of trouble and said he had to go. I asked for his number but he said he couldn’t give it to me. I kissed him and off he went! How I wished I had been calmer, understood more and stayed longer at his house! If he’s out there, he was a movie scout, lived on Lake George, had a huge Calder mobile in his living room and a chess set carved of human bone. LOL I never saw him again but I had something very new and exciting to teach the other guys in my all male prep school!!! As I found out, quite a few didn’t need to be taught and most really were eager, but my life certainly changed after this at first scary and forced entry. I often laugh at the phrase, “No pain, no gain.” He could have been a brute or a murderer, but luckily for me he was just a passionate boy lover who initiated me. Maybe Zeus raped Ganymede, before the internet, sex was not so delineated!
Captain Obvious
@NoCagada: His Instagram.
Tackle
Wow Queert! You don’t even post my second comment on this subject?. I though this is what the comment section was for???
jamih
@Baba Booey Fafa Fooey: No sorry, it’s this kind of thinking oh-now-they-will-say-that-homosexuality-is-result-of-abuse that is the problem. Generally avoiding anything negative because homophobes might use it against us. So yes, skittish queens like this are the problem.
Baba Booey Fafa Fooey
@jamih: What? Can you try that again? English please. That was word salad.
Kim K Kute Kuchie
he’s soooo CUTE
junosoda
Sorry but I cannot feel sympathy for his experience. He is white, which means he’s still have the luxury of his supporters and his friends as well as admirer’s going after him.
abnerb
I have thought about this & don’t think any1 can rebut conclusion that childhood sex abuse victims of gay/lesbian pedophiles have more risk of turning out gay/lesbian by copying the conduct they learned because conduct incl. sexual conduct can be learned. GID is worse & they must abolish sex changes.
gayjim1969
That is a convenient argument considering that no one could ever test its validity: you can’t determine whether children’s lasting adult sexual preferences are affected by either same- or opposite-sex adults; this is especially problematic in boys who are molested by males, as they naturally question why they were “chosen” by their abuser in a way that girls don’t, regardless of their adult sexual orientation.
Yours is a belief fed by misinformation and confusion of terms. There is no scientific proof to back up your suggestion.
Jules
How long crap people are gonna keep being cruel to gay people? It’s really sad that still there is hundreds thousands with shit understanding!
That Nathan is the bravest guy to talk about being raped publicly most of people enduring that hell they hardly or never talk about it, thanks Nathan to lead the way.