Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register
forced separation

Gay Male Vultures Split Up So Zookeepers Can Force One To Have Sex With a Woman

German zookeepers are splitting up Guido and Detlef, a same-sex pair of vultures. So they’ll screw some chicks.

Officials at the Allwetter Zoo in Muenster are removing one of the vultures and sending him to a Czech zoo to mate with a female. And they’re brushing off any criticism by insisting the gay vultures made a lousy home: “The other vultures kept stealing the material they used for the nest,” says a zoo spokeswoman. A nest they’ve spent the last several months building together. (Both vultures are 14-years-old; vultures live to about 25 in the wild though sometimes 30 in captivity.)

And while we can debate whether non-humans are ever really “gay” (or just exhibit same-sex behavior) until the gay cows come home, who here would want to be ripped away from their partner and forced to breed with the opposite sex?

It’s unclear whether the zookeepers plan to return the vulture back to Germany after his forced copulation is complete.

By:           Max Simon
On:           Nov 12, 2010
Tagged: , , , ,
  • 9 Comments
    • Comixbear
      Comixbear

      This basically shows that straight sex is for the birds.

      Nov 12, 2010 at 11:47 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Kent
      Kent

      Look how well accessorized those gay vultures are. Fab.

      Nov 12, 2010 at 12:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Vman455
      Vman455

      I’m sure you mean one vulture is going to be forced to have sex with a female vulture (or “hen”; males are “hocks”), not a human female (or “woman”)?

      /semanticspolice

      Nov 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sceth
      Sceth

      “…who here would want to be ripped away from their partner and forced to breed with the opposite sex?”
      Nonhuman animals are granted no freedom of decision. They merit no protection unless at our whims; the comparison does not hold.

      Nov 13, 2010 at 5:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • CJ Maciejeski
      CJ Maciejeski

      @Sceth: “Nonhuman animals are granted no freedom of decision. They merit no protection unless at our whims; the comparison does not hold.”

      one would think people often accused of being nonhuman might be able to see the connection.

      Anyone wanna lay odds that the vulture’s cloaca is gonna be synched up tighter than fort knox around his new hag?

      Nov 13, 2010 at 3:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • OrchidIslander
      OrchidIslander

      The gay vulture is gonna be forced to have sex with a woman? I hope they make a video because I really, really would like to see that. Does that make me a bad person????

      Nov 14, 2010 at 1:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • adman
      adman

      Why don’t the zookeepers just jack off the vultures? I mean who loves a nice circle jerk more than a straight German after all?

      Nov 14, 2010 at 7:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ron
      ron

      @adman: Ah, die grossen schwanz!

      Nov 14, 2010 at 7:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sophie
      Sophie

      hmmmm… the poor woman… wouldn’t there be more of a point to them trying to get the bird to mate with another bird?

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.



  • QUEERTY DAILY

     




    FROM AROUND THE WEB

    Copyright 2014 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.