Itâs never too late to make amends or to forgive those whoâve wronged us, as demonstrated by a gay man in West Hollywood who received an apology from the bully who tormented him when they were both in junior high school.
ChadMichael Morrisette, a successful Los Angeles-based brand consultant and visual designer, says he was surprised to receive a message on Facebook earlier this week from the man (name withheld) who helped make his teen years miserable. The man explained heâd been inspired to apologize after his young daughter asked if heâd ever bullied anyone.
Related Post: Transgender Teen Commits Suicide Following Years Of Bullying
Morrisette posted the apology on his Facebook page today after a note that provided some background:
How about we take this to the next level?
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During junior high and high school I was bullied for being who I am. I was bullied for being gay. I was bullied for being little. I was bullied for every reason someone is bullied. It was awful. I couldnât even walk to classes without an adult escort or friends with me.
Morrisette also offered thanks to his brother, whom he called his defender, and  a teacher, described as his savior, before posting the apology:
Morrisette revealed to Queerty that it took him a couple of days to process what heâd read and now he canât stop crying over it. He also shared with Queerty the following private exchange between the two men.
Morrisette commented on his Facebook post that he didnât remember the specific bully in question and now wondered how much of the pain he felt as a teenager heâd blocked out. Perhaps in a message to any young people struggling with bullying who might read his story, he added that it really does get better and better.
Related Post:Â Young Sons Of Gay Dad Share Their Powerful Brushes With Antigay Bullying
lauraspencer
Nothing like ruining a nice genuine moment by making it public for all to see. Cue ELLEN to invite both these guys on her show and hand a $10,000 check to the 10 year old daughter.
Mark Alan McRoberts
I would love to see my bullies come to me. Hell one in in the cemetery dead and is next to where I was supposed to be burried. But Im not going to burried with the family. I’m done with all of them. Throw my ass in the garbage.
Sebizzar
Aww :’) I always wonder how many ex-bullies want to apologize to their victims but are probably too ashamed to say anything. Glad this one came forward. And ChadMichael is really cute :p
Billy Budd
I was bullied by a girl who, 30 years later, apologized to me. I still don’t know how I feel about her. Mixed feelings.
dustashed
My bullies never formally said “sorry” but we had a reunion and they were genuinely nicer to me and that is good enough for me. it’s an affirmation that they have realized what they did was wrong and i need no words to confirm it, their actions speak volumes more than words ever can.
DarkZephyr
@lauraspencer: Aww c’mon Laura. This world is so FULL of negative reinforcement, whats wrong with Ellen using positive reinforcement to encourage decency in human beings? As for making it public, its his right. Its his story to tell. Why be a grinch about it?
William C Grenillo
I had a bully apologizes to me years later…but I refused to accept it
Avery Alvarez
I think this story is a nice illustration of the power forgiveness – for both those who seek it out and those from whom it is sought.
Masc Pride
@lauraspencer: Yeah, this seems like a rather Kardashian-like move. And of course–in true attention-wh0re fashion–Chad’s provided a selfie to go along with the story. Kinda pathetic that he was moved to tears over this apology too. 20 years seems like enough time to get over something.
Chris Tyler
He’s hot!
Jacob23
That apology was cavalier and disrespectful right from the salutation (“Hey Chad”). It’s pretty obvious that this bully didn’t give a rat’s @ss about any of this for 20 years until his daughter brought it up. At that point, he saw it as a way to score points with her, and this apology followed. Morrisette conceals his bully’s name and not only accepts the fauxpology, but actually “cries” over it for days. Like a fragile, swooning female in a 19th century romance novel. What a chump.
What he should have done is post the apology with the guy’s full name and picture and then set forth every last detail of the bullying. Then make sure that the guy’s daughter gets a link. Then offer to accept the apology on the condition that the guy travels to California and agrees to take a punch to the face on video. If he accepts those conditions, then accept the apology.
Chris
I admit to having mixed feelings about transforming what seems like a genuine, yet privately expressed, apology into more fuel for the social media beast. However, I am not as cynical as some in claiming that the main reason for the apology/forgiveness is publicity.
As an adult, I adopted the response that the best revenge is to live well; and honestly, I am indifferent to those people who bullied me in elementary and middle school. [By the time I got to high school, I’d outgrown my bullies…]
William D. White
I’m still waiting…
IcarusD
The actor who played Hoyt in “True Blood” posted a video for the It Gets Better project where he came out as a former bully. He had a powerful message for bullies out there about how terribly ashamed they may be later about their actions.
Of course, not all bullies will be ashamed (just as for some gay people it might not get better, though for most it will), but I thought it was a powerful message to send to an audience that really needs to hear it.
@Masc Pride: I don’t get the sense that he’s been dwelling on it for 20 years. But when something triggers a memory like this, the old emotions come flooding back. Just because there’s a wave of emotion in the moment of reading the message doesn’t mean he’s constantly experiencing those emotions.
@Masc Pride: I’m not sure that this meant to be public. He didn’t send out a press release, as far as I know. The article just said he posted it on Facebook for his own friends. There are no links here to other news articles that might have been the original source, and the article does say things like “revealed to Queerty” and “shared with Queerty.” I wonder if the author of this article, Jeremy Kinser, happened to be one of his Facebook friends and decided to reach out to him for an article.
Joe Payer
cause he is hott
GlĂźcklich
Living well is the best revenge. I’d love to drag a few of my former bullies through a GRUELING job interview process with me as the final interviewer. But I hate interviewing.
Kyle Jorden
My bully ended up seated right beside me on a 4 hour flight by fluke. By the time the flight ended he was all over me and couldn’t apologize enough for the wrongs he did me.
Masc Pride
@IcarusD: He released it to Queerty. The article even says, “He also shared with Queerty the following PRIVATE exchange between the two men.” You also don’t cry uncontrollably over stuff you’re truly over, and a grown man should definitely be over bullying from junior high. I’m sure someone said something really f*cked up to me 20 years ago, but I can’t remember it because I’ve long moved on.
Roberson Randy
I’m owed a lot of apologies from the those years of pure hell. I’ve out lived most of them though. Also, I have forgiven them all and released them from those horrible encounters of long ago. Every now and then an old memory I thought I’d forgotten creeps in, I let it go. It takes effort but it’s worth the personal freedom I get from the power of forgiveness.
martinbakman
Somehow, learning to forgive is on the path towards healing from it.
cflekken
Some of you people must truly be genuinely miserable people, leading such cynical lives. You probably see negative in every single thing that you encounter on a daily basis. Personally, I’m very happy to see this story, RIGHT AFTER the story about the gay couple that got clobbered on the head with a wooden chair in Chelsea.
Jeremy Kinser
@IcarusD:
Full disclosure: I am friends with ChadMichael, read his Facebook post today and reached out to him for permission to write about it and for a comment. It’s depressing to read so many cynical comments because CM posted on Facebook about the exchange with his former bully solely to offer possible encouragement to others and maybe for some personal catharsis but definitely not for any opportunistic reasons.
Kirk Sunderman
Did it come with a case of herpes, lol! đ
bottom250
I am one Queen who would love for all those men to apologize to me. The bullying was so hurtful both physically and emotionally. I am so surprised that I survived jr high and high school. I know if I got an apology I would break down in tears.
Cam
This is a nice article about a particular bullying story and how it effected one person. There is a lot of cynical comments on here but frankly I thought it was nice to see it and think that even bulls might be raising their kids to behave better than they did.
As for them appearing on Ellen, I’d rather see them than when she will inevitably have some right wing politician trying to use the show to get gay voters to ignore his or her political positions.
Daggerman
..yes this is a sweet and caring result…but when you realize the amount of bullies that exist in every school round the Globe, it’s really the tiniest amount of courage. It does make you wish that a lot of others had the ‘guts’ to apologize….to their unfortunate victims…
Blazipitous
The man’s text is so nonchalant and too light-hearted, it’s extremely difficult to even consider it an apology. The tone doesn’t at all ring remorse to me.
It’s just another case of a weak gay man who thinks the world of straight men’s opinions and approval. Even my 3-year-old nephew could easily detect the tone of douchebaggery and condescension emanating from this “apology”. Some of the people who commented here are damn correct. Ellen is probably going to want the “hero” who “apologized” on her show.
onthemark
“Morrisette commented on his Facebook post that he didnât remember the specific bully in question…”
Of course not, because he’s a grown-up who’s over 30 years old. Despite a little emotional crying, he sounds much more mature than some of the posters here who seem to have kept lists of their bullies, and apparently voodoo dolls!
misterhollywood
I am kind of a mixed mind on this. Part of me commends the guy for apologizing for what he did but part of me thinks its also a little self serving to alleviate his guilt. I will say it is pretty rare of bullies to ever apologize so at least this guy tried to own his behavior (I think).
dsp
Just the fact that the man acknowledge the bullying and said he was sorry is huge! What do some of you want? For him to get down on his knees and blow him? It was over 30 years ago for effing sakes. I also would feel a certain amount of emotion, maybe even a tear or two if one, just one out of all my bullies apologized. I don’t recall any of their names but one! The only one I truly remember by name is the one who started it with everyone else following. He and I had been best friends and had had intercourse…..yup high school was the worst period of my life! It does get better!
KL
My bully finally went to prison for a cold case murder back in the mid 70’s, around the same time his torment was peaking. He got away with it for 20+ years. I was eating dinner one night in the mid 90’s, and looked up at the TV as the newscaster said his name, and his mugshot appeared on the screen. I sat for an hour weeping with joy and relief that he was finally paying for his crimes. I silently added mine to his many other crimes, and still feel good knowing that he is behind bars. I feel sorry only for his children.
Brent Wilson
YES
KL
@KL: I just looked it up. He was released in December 2014. He killed a police officer trying to arrest him for breaking into a drug store in 1977, walked free for 25 years, and is now out. Makes me sick to know that.
Joseph Molnar
I tried that once, it didn’t work. He didn’t remember bullying me. He tried to turn it around on me and told me HE was bullied in school. Sigh…..
Rob Ridings
I’m fairly sure I’ll never hear from any of my bullies.
Captain Obvious
My bullies picked on me until my growth spurt and even before that I never really felt down about it because prior to that I never backed down and always ended up in a fight.
Honestly fighting kinda gets it out of your system and you don’t really carry it with you.
It’s a shame you can’t fight it out anymore in schools because someone has a deadly weapon, will get arrested, or will take it way too far.
Some of my closest friends in school were people I got in fights with actually.
I think all of the people who carry memories of bullies never landed a punch across their smug faces. Kinda hard to keep bullying someone who you know will hit you back.
jimstoic
I’ve gotten a couple Facebook apologies from bullies. One of them is now a Facebook friend, though not someone I see IRL.
Kirk McGinty Owens
Tony Parrott how does this make news? Kind of weird… We should make an article for you, “Fabulous Tony took a picture of his butt today…… And put it on Instagram…. don don dooooooon” it would get so much more attention… And ericka and mussila will be in the background looking all shocked… We could be famous
James Belmont
I’m not expecting the religion that bullied me will ever apologize. I just forgave the absent offender and moved on.
stevebond
I don’t believe he didn’t remember who the bully was.
Ashleigh Boutelle
My bully (one of them) thinks I should just get over it – “haven’t we grown up since then?” and I’m glad to see I was justified in my continued dislike…
Chris Tan
If he is cute, I would accept his apology and ask him to let me suck his dick!
TastelessChap
@lauraspencer: Thanks for ruining a nice genuine teachable moment with inane cynicism.
o.codone
tell this guy to jam it. The negativity he created is still felt deeply despite the so called apology. once again this bully is making it all about him. he wants forgiveness?tell him no, and remind him that he knew better at the time he did it, but he did it anyway. Tell him to jam it. the victim is a pussy all over again for even talking to this bully. NO.
o.codone
@Chris Tan: you said: “I would accept his apology and ask him to let me suck his dick!” oh yeah, then there’s that. ohhhhh yeahhhh.
Christopher Jay
Not only did I get an apology from someone who use to bully me in junior high and high school,he got emotional and cried. We gave each other a hug and now we are friends. The 2 of us along with 4 other high school friends went to a sports bar last weekend! Everyone who knows me,knows I’m not some bitchy queen who can’t fend for himself. I’m masculine and can be loud,aggressive,and fight dirty when I have to! Too bad some gays are such bitter queens that they have to go and bully other gay men.Those are the ones I’d gladly punch out if they got disrespectful! Dumb cunts!
Eric Carr
was this right after the gay guy sucked his dick? đ
Manny Apostol
There was a guy in my high school who made my life a living hell. Called me faggot, bullied me and basically made me afraid to go to school. . 20 years later at our reunion he apologizes, tells me he’s gay and closeted and tries to kiss me in the men’s room. I pity him.
lauraspencer
@TastelessChap:
You are welcome. A healthy dose of cynicism in this media driven world is a good thing.
Cam
@Christopher Jay:
Was your post supposed to mean anything? You sound like some self hating queen who wants to bash other gays to prove how tough and butch you are to your friends. Grow up.
Tackle
@misterhollywood: Yes one of the reasons people apologized is out of guilt, and to help alleviate their own guilt which is not a bad thing. It shows that one has,and is aware of their inner conscious . It’s only bad, if that’s the “primary” reason for the apology, and then that’s selfish. Because it’s really, it’s all about them…
Kaderade
Actually had the same thing happen to me and more than one person who came forward after the initial message. I was more than a little surprised, especially after almost a decade.
Jacob23
@Manny Apostol: Well what happened? What’s the rest of the story?
Randy Bowling
Great story
geonsf
Big freaking deal..Enough with all this victim crap. From one gay man to another, grow some balls and quit your whining. How can we as a community ever expect to be respected when we act like a bunch of whining queens. Of course not all gays are this way but an unfortunate amount are. I live in the bay area and the gays here are more inclined to sit in a gay bar, get drunk daily, put on a dress or some sort of cute costume then complain because they have limited acceptance in the mainstream community..Give me a break.
Warren Atlas Drew
Lawd, let it goooooooooo
geonsf
@Billy Budd: Really man?
martuchie
I had a similar thing happen to me. I ran into two high school classmates at a restaurant on night after the bar/club. They recognized me and I them. We started talking and they started the same old crap they used to do in school. I stopped them and thanked them for all the bullying they had done. It had made me thick skinned and a much stronger person. But I would no longer tolerate it as an adult. They both were stunned!! They both started to apologize to me and seemed to be genuine with their feelings. Both had recently become divorced and both were dealing with bullies at their jobs. I told them that Karma seems to have visited them and that now they know what it’s like to be bullied. I even reminded them of some of the worst they had done to me. But I told them that we are adults now and that I had moved on from that time in my life. I hoped they had as well. With that, I left and haven’t seen either of them again. I was glad to have that chance meeting with them.
Alex Cameron
Bullies are small minded people who are need to feel there big (twats) I’ve met a few in the NHS
John Kuehnle
Bullies will get theirs, karma…
Dusty Lee
Lol
Gary Kanter
I wouldn’t mind an apology from my high school bullies too.
Alex Rothwell
This has a good ending.
Ron King
I got an apology from one of my bashers…I was shocked… It was 30+yrs. ago.
Susyhome
@Jacob23:
I am a middle-aged straight women who endured ten years of childhood hell due to peer abuse.
@dustashed far be it for me to rain on your parade but the “nice” behavior of your former bullies does not indicate remorse. More than likely their attitude about their past revolting behavior would be “Kids will be kids!” If they are “nice” now it’s because they are now sufficiently mature to realize that people have better things to do with their time and energy than harass and humiliate more vulnerable peers.
Jacob23, I think you are spot on! The bully just wanted to score points with his daughter. Had she not brought up the subject I doubt the very existence of this article.
As for those comments who advise people to “just get over it; that was a long time ago”…well this is a valid viewpoint. However it’s a fact that some people are more affected than other by abusive treatment.
I will be the first to admit that I remain a very angry woman.
Susyhome
And…would I forgive a former bully who issued an “apology?” Well to be perfectly honest that would depend on what value I could obtain by such an acceptance. I am not ashamed to admit that I would probably attempt to milk the person for everything I could get. I’m almost fifty years old now and in the last thirty years I have learned a lot about “human dealing.”
Susyhome
@William C Grenillo:
Good for you!
Susyhome
@o.codone: I like your response.
Vince B
@Mark Alan McRoberts: I’m sure the garbage is the least repulsive thing your ass has seen.
csrichardson
I cannot believe how cynical and out of touch people are. I was bullied in school for years. I wasn’t gay, but I was different and cast out. The pain this causes stays with you forever, it helps mold who you become. I haven’t been in high school for 18 years, and at least monthly I am reminded of something that happend in school. I have kids of my own and they have experienced bullying too. It is a viscous cycle, and I applaud the man who apologized for his behavior. It may not have been worded poetically, but the point was made and it seemed sincere enough to me.
Terri
I am glad to see that some bullies have a conscience and are genuinely sorry for what they did to their victim(s). I was not so fortunate. I went to my 20 year high school reunion hoping my classmates had grown up, and some may have thought they did; some came over and apologized to me, but when it came right down to it, they had learned nothing over the twenty years since we went to school together. As soon as they were finished with the apologies to salve their own conscience, they went off to another table, leaving my husband and me to sit by ourselves all evening. If that weren’t bad enough, my cousin who attended the same school and graduated the same year, first pissed off her husband so badly he left, leaving her there (not that she obviously cared, since she seemed to be having a grand old time of it) and then when she saw my husband, right in front of me, she made a play for him! Fortunately for me, my husband loved me unconditionally (sadly, he passed away a couple of years later) and was totally oblivious to everything she said and did. I know her ambition that night was to humiliate me, but it didn’t work and as for everyone else, maybe in another twenty they will realize what really being sorry means.
A Dad
Sharing a good news story does not make someone an attention whore. Maybe CM is one; I don’t know him. But I do know that my gay son got bullied every day in high school and articles like this showed him that life would get better. This article shows us that people do grow and learn, and hopefully this will be an inspiration to a teenager who is struggling today. My son is in college now, and is happy in a way that most gay teens simply can’t be in high school. Life gets better, and so do at least some of the difficult people in it. And if reading about CM’s experience helps someone make it through one more day of loneliness, then I applaud CM for sharing it.
Besides, this story isn’t even about CM; it’s about the growth of another person.
tadphilly
@lauraspencer: Ask those of us who were bullied and tormented as youngsters if this looks like grandstanding. This info makes me, and I’m sure a lot of other people very happy. Even if I never receive an apology from the tormentors of my youth, just know someone who did and apologized for it helps me to forgive those who tormented me, even without an apology.
If they get a 10k check from Ellen as you suggest…good on them.
Nancy D.
@lauraspencer: Nothing like ruining an uplifting genuine moment by making negative comments about it. Please refrain in the future from making negative, useless comments, it doesn’t help anyone.
ChristelArant
Holy crap! I remember you from high school, Chad! Algebra class, I think. You were such a sweet, kind and awesome friend. I absolutely adored you and thought you were super cute. You look wonderful, still. <3
Devs
I was bullied in School. Started in grade 1 and went straight through Graduation. A few are still trying to do it, 20 years later.
I have a had a few apologize to me. Honestly I had no direct memory of those specific people and in one case I am pretty sure he wanted to hit on me and thought apologizing for being a bully was a good way to pick me up. Another I think may have been sincere but I just really didn’t get it. 12 years of my life was a nightmare. People I did not really know and could not pick out of a line up were awful to me for 12 years. They tore me down daily for not having the right clothes, being tall, skinny (Too skinny they would say) for being smart and getting good grades.
They pushed me so far I was in counselling, I got physically ill and suffered from chronic depression and anxiety.
I now spend my lie looking for the beauty in others. Trusting there is something good in almost everyone. Helping others when i can Lifting them up when they are falling down.
But you can’t fix 12 years of mental torture. You can’t apologize and make it better. I may not remember every individual that hurt me and I hope they learn from it. I can let it go but I will not give absolution. I can move on but the scars are there forever and an apology (even a heart felt one) will not fix the past. But it IS the past.
What I love is that everything that made people bully me when I was a kid, is what people say they love about me now.
I may not me the skinny gangly girl any more. i am a stronger woman. But I never gave up being different. I want to be me, not everyone else.
So if you are a bully, think about it. You are causing change in someone which will never go away. An apology does not erase the passed. No matter how heartfelt it is, you cannot take back what you have done.
So apologize, yes, but know that you ar doing it for yourself and not for your victim. They will build themselves back up.
While you are at it, try analogizing to the next plate you drop and see if it fixes itself.
MikdaMoose
I have no problem with the way the guy apologised. Maybe after all the time that had passed he was finding it hard to find the right words to start the apology with. I don’t know why the whole thing is put out on social media but realise that the world is what it is and that IS what it is. I don’t like that people are analysing the apology, saying it was for his daughter’s sake only. How do you know? How do you know any of the nooks and cranny’s of this story. There are people that come and go in our lives and if we are lucky they are gone once we hit a certain age. For some it is family that is the bully. Whatever the dynamic, can’t we just take it at face value and say “hey, it turned out ok in the end” instead of ripping it to shreds. I know first hand how child hood crap can stay with you forever, BUT, I choose how it affects my life. I do not let the bully do that for me.
Jerry Edgell
Fuck that I would stab the fuckers that did that to me if they showed up at my door. I still have way too much anger to even think about forgiving them. I hope that karma treats them like shit.
David Conan
I wouldn’t take it.
Rodney Church
Awesome! Hope to run into you neighbor đ
Danny Ray
This guy is so cute to me for some reason!
Chris Mommaerts
So Cool
Darryl Moir
I would stab them in the face, cut off their dick and shove it down their throat until they died.