Oh, brother. One of the nutjobs husbands from TLC’s controversial new show My Husband’s Not Gay sat down with ABC’s Nightline to talk about his attraction to men, and it’s just as awkward and uncomfortable as you might expect.
“When I’m having sex with [my wife], I don’t wish she were a man,” he said. “I don’t fantasize about her being a man. I am with her. And I am having sex with her. And it’s her I love and want to be with.”
To help better explain himself, he offered up the following analogy:
“I love donuts! I would eat donuts three times a day. But I desire to be able to fit in my pants in the morning, too. SO you could say I’m oriented towards donuts. And if I were being true to myself, I would eat donuts a lot more than I eat donuts. But am I miserable? Am I lonely? Am I denying myself because I don’t eat donuts as much as I’d like to eat donuts? I’m not.”
All the while, his doting Mormon wife sits glossy-eyed and smiling by his side.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
My Husband’s Not Gay chronicles the lives of four gay men, many of whom are married to women, living in Salt Lake City. The show has received harsh criticism by gay rights activists who feel it delivers a damaging message about gay people. Earlier this month, a Change.org petition calling for the show to be cancelled garnered 100,000 signatures, TLC, however, was unpersuaded and has refused to take the show off the air.
See the awkward interview below. And excuse us while we go indulge ourselves in a donut.
demented
Donutsexual needs to be a thing.
Paul Nadolski
I love watching and riding trains, does that mean I’m oriented toward railroads and trains and should marry a locomotive?
sfbeast
The poor dear. Let’s wait and see how long it takes for this queen to go back to donuts.
Cam
Ok, first of all “And if I were being true to myself, I would eat donuts a lot more than I eat donuts.” is ridiculous, but even if you take it at face value, he still eats doughnuts sometimes while he is saying never be with a man.
Secondly, it’s so sad for the wives, the men will stay there for a while, cheat on the wives, leave them when they find somebody meanwhile the wives are left bewildered and alone and bitter. These women are deluded, but their church is setting them up for a really shitty time in a few years.
jwtraveler
@Paul Nadolski: No, you misunderstood what he said. If you are oriented toward trains, you should marry a Toyota, or better yet, a bicycle.
xzall
Considering how poor the ratings were for this show, you wonder why Nightline is giving it any publicity. There’s really nothing new about Mormon men twisting themselves in a pretzel over their religion. I remember when Mormon dancer Benji Schwimmer(from the show So You Think You Can Dance) came out as gay in 2012 he had to say it in a two hour interview/youtube video.
AxelDC
Jeff Bennion, a spokesperson for the now defunct Mormon Exodus, “Evergreen”, is now in the leadership of its successor, North Star. He has admitted to having gay relationships in the past. During the episode, his wife does a double take when he tells her he is going camping with some of his “SSA” buddies, whom she has never met.
I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that he is enjoying these trips to Brokeback Mountain more than he would admit on camera.
AxelDC
@Cam: I just found out another Mormon friend of mine, who had the nerve a few years ago to lecture me on my life choices, just left his wife and kids to pursue donuts.
nature boy
i would be willing to bet a large sum of money he is actually fantasizing about “donuts” while he is having sex with his wife.
CoachS
Mmmmm… donuts….
Clark35
Next thing you know he’ll be saying how he’s a “hole” like the people in this video.
http://vimeo.com/44865060
nocibur61739
I was with a gay Mormon for almost 5 years. He was not able ~nor willing~ to come out to his family and he wanted to appear “normal”. It was the most stressful time in my life. He went the other way after I wanted to settle down and get married. (I am a guy). He did not want to be constricted and went out on his own to venture into the gay world. Needless to say, he contracted AIDS and then blamed it on me! I feel sorry for him even though he has survived. I am now in a 18+ year relationship and we are getting married within the next 4 months. I wish everyone the best at finding their better half. Don’t “use” others for your own selfishness. I find it shameful to deny your own existence in order to screw someone elses. Don’t live for your parents/others dreams,…LIVE for your own! Bob
Tobi
American doughnuts are weird.
OzJosh
Extrapolating from his analogy, when he’s not having sex with his wife, he’s mostly dreaming about “doughnuts”. So he’s still all about the “doughnuts”, whether he likes it or not.
jkb
I have no idea what he is talking about; the donuts I eat are churros full of protein
jason smeds
I love how this guy has challenged both the GLBT community and the homophobic community. He’s basically thrown a tool into the spoke of liberal thinking – i.e. that a man must identify as gay if he has any same-sex feelings whatsoever. He’s also saying that he can control himself, something that is offensive to the modern era of “doing whatever you feel like doing”.
By not denying his same-sex attraction (SSA), he’s also avoided charges of homophobia.
One more thing: the conservative wife has accepted him. How many liberal women would accept a husband with same-sex feelings?
Joe Dalmas
@sfbeast: Brilliant. Snap, snap, snap.
NoCagada
@nature boy: I’d bet he’s a bottom so it’s not the donut holes…probably a chocolate bar!
NoCagada
@jason smeds: A liberal woman wouldn’t be stupid enough. She would probably be more likely to tell him to find himself and deal with his inner demons…something of which you evidently are possessed.
NoCagada
NOW…What the fuck is wrong with HER? (I am speaking about the wife, here)…
Clark35
@nocibur61739: I know some gay Mormons. They’re out to the family, and they don’t live in SLC or Utah but they grew up there. They did say how they would hook up with closeted gay men at BYU and how there were tons of them there.
Their families did know they are gay, loved them, and accepted them and their husbands/partners.
McShane
@jason smeds: Silly Jason and his rose colored glasses are at it again.
I tried watching that actual show but it made my stomach hurt. Plus the bearish one, Curtis, had some hardcore bullsh!t going on with his lip.
As for this donuts/dick analogy… I don’t… I cannot… Does he think if he sucks off all the “donuts”, he’ll gain weight?
jason smeds
NoCagada,
Actually, a liberal woman would reject him for other reasons. Liberal women have a carefully disguised distaste for men who can potentially swing both ways. It takes away her power.
A conservative woman would be more likely to accept same-sex feelings in men because she understands that such feelings can be controlled within a monogamous heterosexual relationship.
So, you have a liberal woman who forces an identity crisis onto such a man by rejecting him sexually. And then you have a conservative woman who accepts the man for his same-sex feelings despite being married to him. I think I prefer the conservative woman’s attitude.
Andrew
@AxelDC: I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much reading comments on Queerty!
1EqualityUSA
He says, “I” too much.
DogCollarPistolWhip
@jason smeds: You’re on the right track, jason smeds. I’d go a step further and offer that most “liberal” women I’ve known tend to treat gay men as novelties, and not as full human beings. They’re good with you right up to the point you start taking away a few hot guys they are interested in. Women don’t have to pursue men sexually like men do women. Therefore straight women do not learn to deal with romantic or sexual rejection. This is the source of so many false rape allegation, spin outs, hysterical episodes, etc.
I steer mostly clear of all women, but I prefer traditional and conservative women to liberal women.
jwtraveler
@jason smeds: Once again, it is absolutely bewildering to see how your mind works. Or doesn’t.
Evji108
It’s all a bit sad. One day he will wake up at 75 years old and realize what a public fool he has made of himself and his life. And although he will still like donuts, no donuts are going to be interested in him.
Phraja
@ Jason smeds only desperate women want to het with gay men. It’s not like conservative women are tolerant either they simply think being gay is wrong and thwy thing they cure it by simply getting married. It’s pathetic really.
Phraja
@jason smeds: Seems pretty desperate and unnecessary to me.
NoCagada
@jason smeds: Ironic, that you KNOW so much what it means to be a woman…especially, since you still hate yourself as you present yourself as a “gay human”. I’d say “man” but it just didn’t fit.
NoCagada
@DogCollarPistolWhip: Guess your last line fits right in with your dog collar…you, evidently, need judgemental CONservative women to validate yourself.
martinbakman
The donut analogy reminds me of something Rick Santorum might say, like when he compared napkins and paper towels to describe gays.
odawg
@jason smeds: your ignorance never ceases to amaze me.
Cam
@jason smeds: said….”I love how this guy has challenged both the GLBT community and the homophobic community. He’s basically thrown a tool into the spoke of liberal thinking – i.e. that a man must identify as gay if he has any same-sex feelings whatsoever. He’s also saying that he can control himself, something that is offensive to the modern era of “doing whatever you feel like doing”.”
__________________________________________
LOL!!!!!!! I love it when Jason (Or his other screename) when they aren’t defending every anti gay bigot, or attacking the gay community, try to pretend that good old fashion Ex-Gay, Closet Cases, and Reparative Therapy supporters are somehow “Showing us something new and challenging”.
A, no Jason, he is showing us exactly what the Mormon organization “Evergreen” has been doing since the 60’s, remember, they’re the group that if people went to them for help because they thought they might be gay, they would use the electrodes on them.
This guy is basically saying “Yeah, I’m attracted to men, but don’t have to act on it, and I’m going to marry a woman even though I’m attracted to men”.
That isn’t new or challenging, that is something people have been doing for hundreds of years.
But nice try on trying to make the Ex-Gay movement seem “Fresh” and “Edgy”.
nature boy
I do believe that a spectrum of bisexuality exists, so I acknowledge the possibility his marriage could be working exactly as he says. There’s lots of other possibilities for a relationship like this to work. For one, she could be a lesbian closet case herself. Or, if she’s one of the biblical types that believes sex is only for procreation and so the only times she wants sex is when she’s trying to have a baby. I know people who do believe this. They would be fine with being married to a man who does not pester them for sex constantly, as long as he can get some sperm in her when it counts, and is a good father and provider.
Ultimately, though, I think most women realize they want to be with a man who fully desires them, which is hard to feel when your man is always talking about how he’s thinking about dick and suppressing his desires for other men.
Would I want to be married to a man who was always craving women and suppressing his desire for women in order to stay married to me? Absolutely not.
jason smeds
natureboy,
Most women realize that their husband does NOT fully desire them. There are tons of married men who desire women other than their wives.
Wives know this and still accept their husbands. That’s because men bring financial and physical security to any heterosexual relationship. Men who have feelings for other men while being married to women also provide this security to their wives, and their wives are entitled to accept them.
darian
@jason smeds: I think you have some deep seeded mommy issues dude.
Phraja
@jason smeds: Heres the thing though their straight so what’s your point? Stop trying to make this into a acceptablething, its not . Straightmen don’t marry their wives simply because of their religion, well not fully atleast. They don’t marry their wives at the thoughtof heterosexuality being wrong so go to bed.
1EqualityUSA
jason smeds, come out of the 1940’s, babe. Women make more money and are starting more businesses now. We create jobs for others.
Nikkidane
I think it’s comparable to a vow of celibacy that priests take. They choose to deny part of their human nature for what they feel is a greater good. Obviously, that is a challenge that many are not able to live up to.
What I think is sad is that these gay men feel they must deny their own truth in order to “fit in” to their Church and Community. That seems like it will eventually backfire.
Steve318
I watched the TLC program. These men are not gay, they are bisexual. Why do gay guys refuse to recognize the B in LGBT?
Saint Law
@DogCollarPistolWhip: Surprise! The newbie moron agrees with the decrepit cretin.
The women who treat you as a novelty and not a full human being are doing you a favor, Half-life.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: Do you have a life outside of this site at all?
Bully2
@NoCagada: BINGO, and thank you for saying it!
As for the couple in the video? What’s that river in Egypt? I can’t tell which one of them is in it deeper, the wife or the husband, UGH!