This just in: Gay people are turning everyone — every single person in the whole entire world — bisexual. At least, according to self-proclaimed “Bishop” Brian Tamaki (pictured here with his hair slicked back and sporting some super rad shades).
While speaking recently at the first annual “Born in the Fire” conference in New Zealand, where tickets cost $65 a pop plus whatever donation you would like to give, Tamaki cautioned the over 1,000 attendees that gay people were on a not-so-secret missive to turn each and every single one of their children bisexual.
“Gay is the new thing,” Tamaki warned. “It’s taking over the world!”
A whole generation of children, he said, will be turned bisexual because the “perversion of homosexuality is leading the charge.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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Related: Straight Men Are A Lot More Bisexual Than You Might Think
Tamaki has coined this dangerous phenomenon “gaypower” (one word).
“The spirit of gaypower is so powerful it’s changing political institutions and half of them don’t even want it, but they’re forced to!”he preached.
“Churches are powerless,” he continued. “You go there now and you talk about that now and you’d be driven out of town. Not by the gays, because they’re so well organized, but most of the neutral population agree with them!”
So what can be done about this?
For starters, Tamaki said, attendees should give him even more money than they already had so he could launch a full scale attack against the ever-growing “gaypower.”
“We’re not ashamed of giving,” he told followers. “You can’t stop us, no one can stop us. Because it’s in our spirit. Doesn’t that just make you want to give more? Have you got more? Chuck it in there!”
He also encouraged them to buy his self-published book Quotes You Can Frame for $30.
Related: 4 Things Everyone Should Know About The Science Of Bisexuality
As he wound down his sermon, Tamaki told followers that “gaypower” is “a fire that’s allowed to burn because the church ran out of fire! After a while the whole globe is going to be on fire!”
As people began filing out of the chapel, he could be heard whispering into his microphone: “Fire, fire, fire, fire.”
h/t: New Zealand Herald
Joe Payer
Goo
Iain David Mcauley
Oh I do hope so.
Mark Albritton
Hell, that’d be hella cool if everyone was bisexual actually.
Jim McCoy
He gay.
Lewis Kinslayer
#Good!
Luis H. Lopez
Please thou shall not tell lies !!
Realitycheck
Alleluia! God gave us the gay power,!!! Hummmm…. the things I
didn’t know about the gay community…………..
I have to say some americans christians are truly on the same education
level of the poorest third world countries.
How can anyone live in the USA and have access to TV, internet, movies
and media, and still have this kind of neanderthal mentality???
Who are these people?
Paul Limandri
They aren’t “turning” gay, they’re realizing what they want! Its not on and off like some people like to think
jwtraveler
“Homophobic ass says something idiotic” 1674th installment
Hanky
Someone needs to wake up!
Atrius
He’s next!
Eric Ziegler
So, is he now “bisexual” or just nuts?
jason smeds
Most men have the ability to turn to men, anyway. It’s always been that way. The gay rights movement did not invent it.
Men have very powerful and constant sex drives, and will turn to men if the shame factor is removed and women are made scarce. Shame is imposed by the church, by women, and by men who defend women’s honor. On the latter, it’s important to remember that there’s a fraternity of men who concern themselves with directing men towards women sexually in order to preserve the honor inherent in a woman’s fertility.
Women don’t like it when men turn away from them and desire men instead. It’s considered a rebuff, a confining of women to the status of mere baby-bearers rather than life-sharers.
Michael Davy
Just another nutcase seeking the spotlight.
Jake Riley
Billy Budd
Bisexuality should be THE NORM. In ancient Greece and ancient Rome, EVERYBODY was bisexual. That is how we should be now. I wanna see everyone getting married and having flings with buddies.
SpunkyBunks
The church is desperate. Gotta blame the gays for low attendance. It has nothing to do with their idiotic ideals. Let’s face it, their only audience is dying off. The younger generations won’t have none of the church’s hate.
DuncanK
Ah, yes, gaypower: the oft-forgotten sixth power wielded by the planeteers in the animated TV show Captain Planet, right after Earth, water, fire, wind, and heart.
Cam
So does that mean that they are turning gays and lesbians bisexual? Because that ould involve a second conversation with their parents.
Yes, Yes, I know you thought I was gay/lesbian, but now I’m bi and with somebody of the opposite sex.
At what point when churches keep spouting this vomit to raise money will governments look at them and see them for what they are and what they are doing to the people foolish enough to pay this guy?
Brandon Watt
What? I can’t even fathom the ignorance of some people.
Ryan Lee Kuzniak
Awesome!
Josh447
I love the way gay closet case pastors and pundits use reverse psychology to recruit” straight” guys into trying gay sex. Everyone knows any red hot blooded American dude will try anything once if he’s told never to to do it. Great ploy. Good for us.
Voltaire Erasmus
If ONLY that were true!
Zerius Wolfhart
How is everyone being Bisexual a bad thing? At least those DL husbands can come to terms, rather then cheat on their wives.
McShane
This is from the churches Covenant Testimony Outline.
I guess this is how you are supposed to greet him.
“Move yourself into mid proximity of Bishop Tamaki, bow on one knee, then arise and move back to your seat with your eyes not leaving Bishops eyes. For those with gifts, they may move closer to lay it at Bishop Tamaki’s feet, then bow.”
He sounds so, humble.
Fun fact, Tamaki is NOT a fan of dubstep.
“I pray for all the dubstep dancers that they rid themselves of this devil sound and DeadMouse and Shrillex are taken to the gallows to pay for their sins.”
Rick Collier
I thought it was because we put “gay” pills in the local water supply!
Ives Meagher
Chris Tan
Baloney!
Glenn D. Grossman
OMG! It’s true! I’m feeling uncontrollable homosexual urges just looking at this photo!
Not…
What an Asshat.
Curty
I think most people are bisexual actually…even secretly. I think everyone has seen at least one person from both genders that they would do something sexual with. I stand by my belief. It wouldn’t surprise me that even the most proclaimed heterosexuals want or have engaged in sexual behavior with both genders. For example Marlon Brando, he loved women. He married a few times and had several kids, yet even he admitted he had sexual relations with men and was not ashamed. I believe a lot of people are just like him. Bisexual
Cam
@Curty:
Oh give it a rest. If all of these gay kids being tortured and bullied, or the lesbians being forcibly raped to turn them straight were bisexual, don’t you think it MIGHT have crossed their minds to date somebody of the opposite sex?
Enough with that Hooters Waitress B.S.
Chris
Then according to this fool, gay folk are more powerful than Christ. All he did was turn water into wine; we’re turning people into something they weren’t.
Or in the immortal words of that great philosopher, Bugs Bunny, “What a maroon!”
Kangol
Ms. Tamaki is a closet case, and fooling no one. Bye, Felicia!
Paco
“Gaypower” LOL
Wonder Queer powers – Activate!
Starry Eyed
@DuncanK: I rarely ever comment on this site, but I just had to tell you that this comment is amazing. Thank you for blessing us with a Captain Planet reference today. Well done!
Ian Guinta
says the Pastor who has a dick in his mouth.
Anthony Canta
Oh go play with yourself. Be happy:)
Michael Jarboe
Geeze, but not powerful enough to turn them totally gay? Bunch of slackers… Maybe if we didn’t have to cause all those hurricanes as well.
Michael A. Hann
Gay power activate
David Harlem
Not me I’m still queer as a 3 dollar bill. “Gaypower” what a load of BS. I wish the people like this pastor would stop thinking about SEX all the time. God knows how many of them have abused little children and skim tithing to make shut-up payments to the kids they abused. However, I wish I were bisexual, I’d have an easier time getting a date.
polarisfashion
If he is caught with a boy toy, he’ll blame us and say we turned him bisexual. I wonder if he has a dick pic on his GRINDR account?
Erwin Michel Ilano
good, because they need to be obliterated
Cam
@polarisfashion:
If this guy has any pictures floating around it’s probably of him tied in some submissive pose with his ass in the air.
Dakotahgeo
“Fire, Fire, Fire, Fire!” Piss on it, piss on it, piss on it, piss on it… and DON’T give your money!
Jeff Eiselman
Is that his confession?
Realitycheck
@Billy Budd:
During te renaissance the city of Florence in Italy was extremely gay as well,
to the point the Germans (at the time) started to generally refer to gay people
as the florentine, LOL
Unfortunately the black plague did put an end to that by decimating a large %
of Europe population, and creating the need for more children, to the point
that a panel was appointed to investigate anyone involved in acts of sodomy.
Of a population of 400,000, half of the males were suspected of gay activities, and over 17,000 charged with sodomy, LOL
Those middle ages super tight pants must have made for a real fun gay time.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: How’s your diary looking, ‘Jase’? Any dates? Ever?
jason smeds
Bisexual does not mean that you want to have sexual relationships with men and women simultaneously. It also does not mean threesomes.
Bisexual can mean many, many things. It’s a spectrum of feelings and behavior. There are bisexual men who choose to identify as straight because their sex acts are only with women. There are bisexual men who identify as gay because their sex acts are only with men.
Paco
@jason smeds: “Women don’t like it when men turn away from them and desire men instead. It’s considered a rebuff, a confining of women to the status of mere baby-bearers rather than life-sharers.”
Is that how you feel when they rather have their women ( or their own hand) than you?
jason smeds
I would say that most straight-identifying men are technically bisexual in their feelings. However, they choose to identify as straight for personal reasons.
What are their reasons for their choice? They might not like the term “bisexual”. They might not like the promiscuous lifestyle of the male-male environment. They might feel ashamed. They might feel as if their girlfriend will ostracize them if they declared themselves to be bi.
There’s a lot of pressure on men to abide by the rules of conquest and fertility. Women – and society – demand it.
Clark35
I know bisexual and gay men who hope that this is true.
jwtraveler
I sure hope it doesn’t turn me bisexual.
BlogShag
LOL! Gay power is turning everyone bisexual. I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
BlogShag
And apparently becoming a touring evangelist turns you into an Italian gangster look-alike
gaym50ish
With at least 70 percent of the U.S. population claiming to be Christian and a church on nearly every corner, how is it that “churches are powerless”? Who knew that gays had so much power we could turn straight people into bisexuals?
Sluggo2007
“Gaypower” Is Turning Everyone Bisexual, Pastor Warns – I’ll just assume he means himself.
martinbakman
@Paco: LOL, like when Wonder Woman spins around and transforms, except Wonder Queers would throw their hand over their head, snap a finger and yell, Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl.
IvanPH
There should be a GayPower Rangers.
Yatsuhashi
@McShane:
“Fun fact, Tamaki is NOT a fan of dubstep.
“I pray for all the dubstep dancers that they rid themselves of this devil sound and DeadMouse and Shrillex are taken to the gallows to pay for their sins.” ”
I literally had to double take and make an account specifically to reply to this.
Devil sound? Seriously? Has this guy even LISTENED to all of the dubstep sub-genres? I have lost the ability to even!
Goodbye everyone. I’ll remember you all in therapy!
martinbakman
Looks like he could be Jimmy Swaggart’s b@st@rd son. He’s a Bishop, though! Just like that other c@cks^cking Bishop from Atlanta, Eddie Long.
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