Who says so-called straight men can't get bitchy? Our celeb-obsessed gender-fucked brother Mollygood passes on Page Six's In Touch lifted gossip that George Clooney and romance object Fabio went head-to-head last Friday.

…Clooney and gal pal Sarah Larsen were having dinner at L.A. eatery Madeo next to Fabio and a group of women. All was well until one of Fabio's pals started taking pictures of her friends. According to numerous eyewitnesses, Clooney, assuming the woman was taking snaps of him, asked her to stop - prompting Fabio to explain that the shots were of his group, not Clooney, and to tell the superstar, "Stop being a diva." Clooney started arguing back, and he and Fabio then got into a shoving match. "The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand," a witness told In Touch. Clooney then paid his check and left before finishing his meal.

According to another In Touch witness, Ron Marotto, "George looked annoyed when Fabio went to his table. George stood up, dropped the F-bomb and then went to push him…George was drinking…He wasn't drunk, but he certainly wasn't stone sober, either." Fabio's manager told the magazine, "George is lucky he didn't end up in the ER."

Huh? Oh…we get it: Fabio's manager invoked George Clooney's former money-maker, a show he hasn't been on for seven years. A for effort, F for dated reference. Winner: George Clooney.