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Girl Has Wisdom Teeth Removed, Tells Mom She Needs Ryan Gosling’s White Dick

Screen Shot 2014-07-16 at 1.54.27 PMPeople usually talk a whole lot of nonsense in the post-surgery, anesthesia-fueled high that occurs after they’ve had their wisdom teeth pulled.

But this girl right here is speaking only the truth — thoughts shared unanimously by the population of planet Earth — in her post-dentist high that has gone viral on Vine.

“I want to have sex with Ryan Gosling,” she whispers to her mother, moments before she informs everyone in the room that she “wants to fuck white dick.”

“I just want to be a Kardashian,” she laments in the series of now-deleted Vines, captured conveniently by YouTuber Dee Cazz and immortalized forever on the Internet. “Is this what marijuana feels like? Cause I don’t like it,” she adds.

A true American hero.

h/t Gawker

By:           Matthew Tharrett
On:           Jul 16, 2014
Tagged: , ,

  • 9 Comments
    • DB75
      DB75

      Oh Matthew – this is hilarious!!!! I’m crying over here!! Thank you for the laugh!!!!

      Jul 16, 2014 at 2:06 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • lykeitiz
      lykeitiz

      Girl, you have to choose. Either you want to s**k white d**k, -OR- you want to be a Kardashian. The two don’t go together.

      Jul 16, 2014 at 2:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Blackceo
      Blackceo

      @lykeitiz:

      LOL Yeah except for Kourtney who seems to be the only one to buck that trend.

      Jul 16, 2014 at 3:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Billy Budd
      Billy Budd

      This was not spontaneous. It was rehearsed. But it is funny nonetheless. I would like to Kiss, Suck and Fuck Ryan Gosling too.

      Jul 16, 2014 at 3:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • masc4masc
      masc4masc

      Who doesn’t?

      Jul 16, 2014 at 5:43 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • erasure25
      erasure25

      That doctor is hot!!

      Jul 16, 2014 at 8:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • NateOcean
      NateOcean

      That’s funny, I said exactly the same thing about Ryan Gosling…

      …and I wasn’t even under the influence.

      Jul 17, 2014 at 5:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cee
      Cee

      @NateOcean: LOL

      Jul 19, 2014 at 1:35 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • SteveDenver
      SteveDenver

      @lykeitiz: You made me B-O-L! (Bust Out Laughing)

      This is a golden video. I’m sure she’ll be more popular than ever.

      Jul 20, 2014 at 4:09 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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