OK, how do we feel about arranged same-sex marriages? According to a fascinating new article from PRI, arranged marriages are gradually making its way into the Indian LGBT community, albeit with some bumps in the road as a tradition adjusts to modern realities.
At the forefront of this shift is the company Arranged Gay Marriage, which is about as literal a title as you could hope for. The company is apparently super-selective, only taking on 25 clients so far. And by the sound of things, it isn’t what you might think of as the arranged-marriage stereotype: parents setting up their kids from birth. Instead, it seems more like a matchmaking service. According to their website:
“We combine proven system to match individuals based on their needs and qualify the potential candidates and scan them for all kinds of back ground checks and make it easier to understand each potential partner”
Well, OK. It’s not entirely smooth sailing for queer Indian matchmaking, since India has criminalized homosexuality. Marriages, meanwhile, remain in kind of a murky legal grey area. And culturally, there are still tremendous barriers to same-sex couples being open in most of the country.
Arranged Gay Marriage is doing their best to stay ahead of the complicated laws around homosexuality both in the US, where they are based, and in India. A large section of their site is dedicated to immigration law and sponsoring a foreign spouse, so it looks like a lot of these arranged marriages will likely involve one partner moving to the United States. That certainly makes sense; moving partners to India could essentially mean closeting the very thing that brought them together.
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The issue gets even more complicated when it comes to caste. There are still a lot of traditionalists who resist marriage outside of one’s class — though this certainly isn’t a phenomenon unique to India. But for many people, caste remains an important social indicator, and one that is much more explicit than in the United States where socioeconomic status is a bit more changeable.
But in general, it seems like one step towards LGBT people being treated more as equals, even if there are some aspects at which Westerners might balk. Arranged marriages may seem unusual to Americans, since being gay often means being fiercely independent with one’s choice of partners. But then again, being queer must strike a lot of Indian people as unusual. The truth is that we all might not be as different as we initially think.
joeyty
Hinduism is fascinating. (IF this report is true. Gotta take Queerty with a grain of salt).
Kangol
@joeyty: You do know that India has the largest Muslim population outside of Indonesia, and is also the home of a number of other religions, like Sikhism, Zoroastrianism, Christianity, etc., right?
I don’t understand how this company’s pairings are going to work if homosexuality and same-sex marriage are still criminalized. I hope India can once again DE-criminalize homosexuality and gay sex, so that its people and visitors of all religions avoid all penalties for being gay or bi.
dave lopes
@Kangol: You do know India is 79.80% Hindu and all the other cults are a minority.
As for the company, it is a dating site and not an arranged marriage site.
joeyty
@Kangol: I foresee some problems too. But I wish them the best.
joeyty
@dave lopes: They might be Hindus, but in the U.S. they seem to worship the God of High Achievement.
dave lopes
@joeyty: hein??? what’s your point?
QJ201
don’t you mean arranged open marriage?
John Kuehnle
Outtaded no matter who or what you are, but if it works for you more power to you.
John Kuehnle
Out dated
joeyty
@dave lopes: That they’re smart.
Khoty
@Kangol: Amen to that!
Khoty
@joeyty: They are equally achievement driven, wherever in the world they may be.
Khoty
The majority of Indians, for whatever reason, prefer settling down with one partner for life, for putting down roots. That is why this might be a successful business enterprise.
dave lopes
@joeyty:
Indian immigration to the US is for the most part highly educated, so yes they will do better than the average immigrant.
We don’t get India’s poor uneducated masses.
But what is the relevancy to the subject at hand?
Abs Benolirao Gaosil