We live in an incredible time to be gay — dare we say the best in history?
But the problems facing gays and lesbians today are still staggering. Putting aside the issue of legal equality in areas like employment and housing (among others), there’s an even more pressing dilemma — self-loathing.
Internalized homophobia can wreak havoc on an otherwise successful life. Even if someone finds love and acceptance in their community, self-acceptance is still vital.
We can understand fantasizing about being something else entirely — we sometimes wish we were unicorns — but nobody should ever have to wallow in their own identity.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
We wanted to hear from gay people who are struggling with how they fit into the world, and here’s what Whisper was able to dig up:
DC Sheehan
More men for me then!
Adam Nagel
The guy on the right, with the shirt on his head, is HOT!!
David Braciak
This is incredibly sad.
Eric Erickson
It’s a desire to fit in. None of them want to sleep with women.
Leah Aaliyah Cromwellersnigliterson
Boo!
AxelDC
Most of these are just expressing a desire to fit in and conform with cultural norms. Being gay is hard because society doesn’t understand us.
For those complaining about guys being tough to date, have you ever talked to straight guys about dealing with women???
Realitycheck
It is truly disgusting to see the effect of an homophobic society on gay men,
= Wishing to be normal = WE are normal!!!
= Gay and I don’t like gay men = self hate reflecting on others !
= I want kids and a wife = Kid you can adopt with the man you love!
= It is a sin to be gay = Sin, invention of the filthiest organization ever, organized religion!
= My parents would love me again… = OMG, poor child in the hands of bigots!
…………………………………………………..
Juan Carlos Menendez
Self hating homos is so tragic! Be lucky you live in this country where so much great change is out there to celebrate who we are!
Belinda Gilbert
Until we live in a world where there is absolute acceptance for all people irrespective of their differences socially, sexually, ethnically, …… Then people will suffer.
Isn’t it time we accepted people for who they are providing they are not harming others? If we cannot, then our world is doomed ! Doomed!
Dan Steele
I’m sure they’ve all tried women and found zero attraction. I’m glad too…they’re all very handsome men.
Ladbrook
So Queerty is now letting JasonSmeds write articles for them, I see. Or was this snagged from the self-hate site known as GayPatriot?
John Snyder
This is so sad. These guys don’t understand they are normal and that straight relationships are no different. More importantly, they need to know people do and will love them.
Abdulmajid Abdallah
I’m looking for love
Christopher Blum
Sexuality shouldnt be defined as straight or gay…
Christian Wells
Queerty Scrapes the Bottom of the Barrel With Stupid Article
TrueWords
You’re a sad and pathetic man. You’re a homosexual and you don’t want to be, but there’s nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to your god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you’ve go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you’ll always be homosexual as well. Always. Always. Until the day you die.
Roberto Diego Enzo Hache
These are horrific quotes…..I get that it can be rough but holy cow, is it that devistating? I have been out since 15 (in the 80’s) and though I haven’t found the person I am meant to be with it’s been 31 years of FUCKING interesting times that the “normal” society have no clue about….I am not a fan of the gay community nor abide by their standards but I am happy and fulfilled….it’s not about being gay or straight….it’s about how you lead your life
Robby Saner
🙁
martinbakman
Gay men are assholes???
My sense is anyone that believes that is doomed to be single and unhappy.
Sometimes it just helps to realize that some guys are ‘not my kind of queen’
Raymond Perez
What a bunch of whiny ass crybabies. OOOHH it’s too haaaarrrdddd. I can’t doooo ittttt! Because you don’t get what you want, when you want it, you think you’d change the very being of who you are. Grow up and deal with it. They whine about how difficult it is, being a young, gay man. Try being a fat gay man that’s in his 50’s. I’ve been rejected by more men than these crybabies will ever ‘date’. I am alone, but not lonely.
Stefano Gant
We are all looking for love for a happy life in this very brief moment on this earth.
Dollard Cheret
most of these are just stupid! you’ll never find happiness if you continue to allow people to judge you in a negative manner! It’s your life, live it to the fullest!
Saint Law
@Ladbrook: I think “because women are so sexy and they look like so much fun” rules out Smeg tho.
Saint Law
Whimper is a very strange site.
Saint Law
Whisper I meant!
Saint Law
Actually no I meant Whimper.
Giancarlo85
Wow. Why would they post this pathetic hideous garbage on here? The very last one pisses me off… a normal life? What the fuck is this shit? Yes, a wife and kids makes everyone happy right? If that was the case, we wouldn’t have a 50% divorce rate in this country!
Whimper is right. A bunch of whimps on that site if these quotes are even real.
This is a bunch of patheticness. And I’m sure all these self hating gay men on this site are going to come around and start defending this cowardice. Where is SMEDS, mask pride and other self haters?
TrueWords
Queerty is BULLSHIT…this like the NAACP printing up articles about how much I hate my skin color and wish I were white…nothing more than self-hate disguised as straight sexualized bait information…
Robert Montano
Hard to be Gay?? I find it very easy to be Gay. Self-hatred is a very sad thing… 🙁
Gary Allen
I have met guys who were like many of these people. Their urge toward straightness is just because they want things the easy way. How deluded they are! Relationships are difficult with any gender. Stood up on 5 first dates? Get a better dating site. Falling in love with the wrong people? Stop being a fool and look at people who are within your range. Real men (and that includes gay men) pick themselves up and move on.
McShane
Queerty Reveals Their Secret Desire To Be Divisive Clickbait.
1EqualityUSA
If you are lost in a forest, quit wandering. (Stop.) Until you have some notion of where you are going, take time and don’t do anything. Go to school, help someone else, build something. Repeating patterns over and over, nightmare-like, is not fair to you nor the partners with whom you are exploring unnamed, unresolved pain.
Mark Engledow
What a bunch if judgemental queens! As if none of you haven’t had the exact same thoughts at some point in your lives! Hopefully, the guys on Whisper grow past it, as most of us have, without becoming Bertha Betterthanyou, which, apparently, most of us haven’t.
Eric Jimenez
I am so proud of who I am… No regrets. I am simply a human being.
Stache99
@Dan Steele: Fyi..These aren’t the same guys. Queerty fiction with hot guys to look at is all.
Hank Trout
Internalized homophobia is the worst kind.
Cam
Why does Queerty keep putting up these idiotic posts from “Whisper”? Is Whisper paying for the mentions? All these articles are the same. Some question that evokes answers from people who don’t want to be gay.
It’s the same article over and over. lazy lazy journalism.
darian
@Ladbrook: Wow I had no idea something like gaypatriot was even a real thing. It’s like someone took breitbart and put the word gay in front of it. If you ever want to see gay self hatred check that site out.
jkb
I identify with the 45% versus 5% prospects. That is the only thing I would like to change; just the odds of finding someone with whom I click. There is also the social situations where other people can start conversations with strangers about sports or their families while I cannot. But each life has its burdens so whatev..
BigG
Most gay men do not want relationships or if they do, they want open relationships. I see why these guys wish they were straight. Women love me, men don’t. I don’t get it.
Giancarlo85
@BigG: Oh get over yourself. There are many gay men in monogamous relationships.
I kinda wish these guys were straight. We would be better off without self haters.
Earnest Jeffery Wiles
This is some bull crap stuff! Unbelievable that Queerty would post such bullshit!
Kevin Harrell
Oh boys, be less judgmental. We all struggle with something.
Damon Robbins
I would never change my sexual identity, even if I could.
mjmarkic
Sorry, but I’ve been on both sides, it’s not any easier. When I see and hear about all the Straight trauma within my family and work associates everyone has their problems and grief.It takes some maturity and belief in yourself to make the best of your life. I would never want to lose touch with all the good times in my life as a gay man. No desire to be straight.Enjoy life while you can, even if it’s alone. Life is not easy…
AtticusBennett
“i don’t want to be gay, and other guys don’t want to date me. life sucks!”
it’s because you’re a self-hating, insecure homosexual who refuses to do the work unloading your years of collected internalized-homophobia baggage. that’s why.
helpful hint to all – you’re gay. you will never be straight. and you will never enjoy life until you do that work that EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE and recognize your learned internalized-homophobia for what it is, tear it apart, and build yourself up with a strong and empowered sense of gay identity.
i mean, what’s the point? insecure homos wish they weren’t homos? #DUH.
you will never be happy if you keep telling yourself every day that you don’t want to be gay, that you don’t want to be seen or treated “like those other gays”, or if you continue to reinforce in yourself the bogus idea that you’re somehow “different” from other gay men.
you’re not. not really. the only difference is that you’re still viewing homosexuality, and being gay, through the eyes of the anti-gay straight people whom you’ve spent far far too long listening to.
Richard Burnside
But wouldn’t that mean that I would have to have sex with girls?
Transiteer
Don’t think it’s nirvana in the straight world either – don’t any of you watch Jerry Springer??
You ARE gay, this is the world you live in. Accept yourself, develop some confidence and know there are more frogs out there than princes. Go find a prince. There’s nothing wrong with you. Life isn’t easy, and it’s not easier being gay. Let the haters hate – their lives are worse than yours obviously. No smiley faces on their side is there?
You have gifts given you because your gay. Find out what they are, and get on with living, and loving.
It’s well worth it…
Jesus Malverde
I am so grateful that I am gay! I came out before Stonewall and it was a painful time of my life. However, I learned so much from that experience. I also met the person and fell in love with whom I had twenty year relationship and still miss him every day. Sure, I could have replicated my parents’ life had I been heterosexual but thinking how much I would have missed I just have to thank god for making me the out proud gay man that I am’
Craig Shapiro
I have grieved the loss of three beautiful friends to suicide. They tried to live there lives according to what others thought. I was told by my extremely wealthy family if i married a woman I’d be set for life. I’ve been consciously boy crazy since the age of five. My incredibly amazing Mother ( RIP ) asked me at the age of 14, if i had slept with a man yet.YET! I chocked out a NO, i hate to lie. At 17 i invited Mom to dinner to come out. Ehen i did she responded with, ” Great, now i can get rid of this monstrous bag.” I’m like . . . Der . . . From her large bag she started carrying ehen i was 14, she presented me with books, magazines and articals on, ‘ The normalcy of Homosexuality, loving some one Gay, etc. etc. ‘ Then wanted to go to a Gay Bar so she could see ” what type of men” i was into. She was so approval and accepting, i was truly blessed. She was elated that i had love and joy in my life. Being Gay takes great strenth, especially if your out as i have always been. But living a life to appease and satisfy ‘others’ expectations in dishonest and debilitating. I have never, nor would i ever want to be anyone but me. If ‘thay’ have a problem with that, i simple remind them that it truly there problem. And if ‘they’ don’t like it, turn away and move on. I am greatfull for my G-d, and he made me just fabulous! No mistake made here. Honor the magnificence of who you are. Live YOUR LIFE FOR YOU, YOUR WAY. You are so not alone. Enjoy, be bright and Gay. Besides, strap ons are no fun, at all.
William Thomas Bramlett II
I think u look cute Raymond Perez
Michael Zamora
I understand as well as sympathize with the lgbtqa that think this way, but I would have to agree with what every one here is saying. We all need to be confident in ourselves and our abilities. We all need to get rid of the hate that we have for one another. I believe that once we accomplish this, we, along with the next generation of lgbtqa might feel a bit better about ourselves. Like momma Ru says “If you don’t love yourself, how the he’ll are you going to love someone else…”
Can I get a amen!
AtticusBennett
i love being gay. i love that i get to live a life that has no expectations on what I’m Supposed To Be Doing – i can marry, or not. i can be monogamous, or not. and by making the conscious choice to spend my life with other Out, empowered and happy gay men, it means i never have to deal with the insecure ramblings and projected bitterness and jealousy of the miserable “i wish i was straight’ brigade.
if you’re not happy being gay realize the first step, truly, is to stop telling yourself you wish you weren’t gay. it’s a time-waster of a though, and it’ll never happen. so stop wasting time pining for something that cannot be.
there are support groups for LGBT people in almost all major cities, in LGBT centres, where you can learn to overcome these insecurities.
or you can do what all the guys who never get over their insecurities do – become a miserable, bitter, jealous and daily-lying insecure anonymous internet commenter and you can, from behind a screen name, rail against the world and the gay communities that you actively choose to hold disdain for.
won’t make their lives worse, but won’t make your life better. the choice is yours. get over your problems, or become an internet troll for life.
AtticusBennett
@TrueWords: YAAAAAS TO THE BOYS IN THE BAND!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxGTr7aVO0E
Zekester
It’s so funny/sad hearing gay people talk about how easy life would be if they were straight. Have they ever paid attention to how women treat men in relationships. I absolutely hate the gender roles in straight relationships, including the gender roles for men. In straight relationships EVERYTHING is made about the woman. NO thank you. I love my girlfriends to death but I sure wouldn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with ANY of them.
AtticusBennett
@Ladbrook: gaypatriot is hilarious. for further proof that gay republicans are the most broken wimps in america, that site is perfect.
Steve Quinlan
Wtf
Ron King
My ears are bleeding..
TrueWords
@AtticusBennett: Fuck all the BULLSHIT about being gay and the men in “Boys in the Band”… DID NOT kill themselves…
So sit back and watch the damn movie men
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riCMmU6UIiY
onthemark
@Zekester:Yeah, that’s the strangest thing. These “Whimperers” seem to live in a bubble. They must be pretty unobservant if they really think straights have it so easy.
Maybe they have no siblings, and happily married, perfectly matched parents who’ve never once had a fight? And apparently they’ve never seen any TV sitcom, ever, in the entire history of TV. (They could try reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” – ugh, that thing will make any gay boy grateful to be gay!)
Kevin Pulido
“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?
Can I get an Amen.”
-Rupaul
Giancarlo85
Yeah straight have it so easy and it’s such a normal life with the white picket fence and shit. Asides from the 50% divorce rate, your spouse taking half of your wealth (lol @ FIFTY CENT) and the condom breaking and a pregnancy occurring.
@Michael Zamora: I get what you’re saying. But, some of the quotes were outrageous and disgusting. They were almost gay shaming. I think some need to grow a backbone. And this is coming from someone who didn’t have it easy when I was younger. Still it made me a stronger person.
BTW, you’re cute lol. Totally offkey comment but just saying 🙂
auntsharon
@TrueWords: Thank you, Mart Crowley.
Mercurical Memo
Is this any shocker? Seriously. Look at the way gay porn treats GAY MEN, like second class citizens. And always porn gives us the excuse that ‘gay’ men don’t sell, that ‘straight’ men do. Just here alone, we start an education in self-hatred and repackaged homophobia. Because whether or not we want to admit it, for gay men pornography is STILL very much intrinsically a representation of us. Why? Because when was the last time that queers were taught their sexuality in school? And when was the last time gay men really saw themselves depicted sexually in the mainstream. A token character peppered here and there with a kiss once in a while does not compare to the infusion of heterosexual sexuality.
Gay men and society at large seem to be under the illusion that just because we have won some rights homophobia is a thing of the past. These are the same kinds of people that subscribe to the banal idea that Obama is the end of racism as ladies nights at clubs is somehow indicative if female social privilege. No fellas, we have a long way to go.
Just look at this site! This site which I was under the understanding was a place for queerness is OBSESSED with straight men. Even though there are PLENTY of gay men to drool over and admire, this site is more interested in straight men. Including how to score with them. Why were so many gay men insulted by the article? Because ultimately articles like that are still telling gay men they are not good enough. They are still less than. Inferior to. Look at gay pornography and how suffused it is with the gay-4-pay moniker. And whenever gay men challenge that, they are accused of being bi-phobic, when gay-4-pay itself erases bisexuality. They are told repeatedly that sexuality is fluid. Meaning, this better to be a hetero that occasionally dabbles in homosexual sexual acts than a full out homo.
So how can we not see that these guys would rather be straight, when gay men themselves create homosexuality or gayness as something less than ideal. Have you folks been on dating sites as of late? The gay community is FILLED with self-hatred it’s ugly. I remember for a while, Queerty was more interested in James Franco than what actual gay men were doing.
Part of the heterosexist colonization of gay men, has been that in order to keep ourselves from really doing something to challenge the status-quo means that we have to admire our rulers. Those are not extreme words either. We do in fact model our lives and relationships according to those standards set by the dominant class. These guys are perfect example of that. And how can they not, when for the most part that’s all we have been taught.
Something to think about Queerty and all others who subscribe to that fawning over the straight master. This is the self-hatred you’re responsible for fanning.
Chris Etter
That last meme is right on. I’ve had a GREAT life, but if I were straight, I would have a wife and several kids by now. That would be nice. But we must play the hand we are dealt and be happy with who we are. Sometimes that is harder said than done.
Pistolo
This angers me, it should sadden me but I just can’t stand running into internalized homophobia because there’s a sense of defeat in it. I’ve prided myself on always knowing that being gay was never a deterrent to happiness on my part, homophobia was (if I let it, that is). It’s sad to me that other gay men drink the Kool-Aid and actually get taken into the believability there’s some intrinsic value in being straight or being perceived as straight.
This is why I hate the idealization of straight men amongst us. Of course it isn’t wrong to see someone of a different orientation as being attractive but letting them turn us into consumerist dogs is an entirely different thing. I see a lot of appropriation from straight men & women that gays are much too apt to accommodate in exchange for acceptance, it saddens me.
We shouldn’t allow others to have power over how we perceive ourselves. It is NO different than women who meant to feel as though their femininity is in question if they in any way contrast societal expectations.
onthemark
Besides “The Boys In The Band,” another pop culture reference that jumps to mind is “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?”
“I wish I wasn’t gay!” (Sniff, snuffle, boo hoo.) “They couldn’t do these awful things to me if I wasn’t gay!”
But you ARE, Blanche, you ARE gay!!!
Captain Obvious
I see all these posts and yet the second Queerty or any other site posts a straight guy like Ben Cohen the drool starts flowing. Maybe if so many gay men stopped worshiping straight guys then there wouldn’t be all this self hatred in the first place as gay men would have somewhere to go to feel attractive.
You have no idea how psychologically damaging it is to feel less attractive until it happens to you. And not everyone is hard wired the same, we’re not robots out of a factory. Just because some are not bothered by it doesn’t mean others won’t commit suicide over it.
Promote gay men, promote acceptance, start including everyone. We wave rainbow flags around but it may as well be a white flag with a straight blonde with blue eyes and his wife on it. Heil Hilter!
bottom250
The statements make me cry. Sweethearts I can’t imagine wanting to be gay. I love being the effeminate queen I am and celebrating life.
Adrian Paul Annas
I love having sex with guys and am too irresponsible to have a family. I just fear for old age.
bigrawtop
The young generation is so spoiled. They don’t know how to suffer gracefully.
NoCagada
CALL 911…they ALL need a WAAAAAAMBULANCE…
Mike
I’d be interested in learning the average age of the respondents because most of these sound like young (under 30) issues.
GTT
Mr. Atticus a/k/a “know it all”,
Maybe some of the guys are just blaming being gay for an unhappy romantic life. I have heard straight guys say they wish there were gay b/c women are so confusing, things never work out and how great it would be to be sexually/romantically attracted to another guy/buddy.
Its easy to blame personal problems on being gay – its an easy scapegoat.
GTT
I think many straight people look at gays and think we have it made.
The cliche “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” applies here.
Many straight people are in unhappy marriages, had unwanted pregnancies, pregnancies too young that short circuited an education/career, saddled with debt due to large families, costly divorces, etc.
Look on the bright side – gay people have had freedoms that straight people have not. We feel like we have had to conform – but so have they.
Bauhaus
@Chris Etter:
Huh? If you were straight, you don’t know that you’d have a wife and kids for sure. Lots of straight folks don’t. I’ve been with my man for 22 years, married for three. We adopted and raised kids together (now grown) without the benefits of marriage, the support of the courts, or the approval of society (at the time). WE created the kind of life we wanted. If you want a spouse and kids, make it happen – it has nothing to do with sexual orientation.
As far as normal, there’s no such thing – there are just degrees of weirdness, which many people try very hard to hide.
Peter Fantacone
They need better dealers.
Giancarlo85
@Bauhaus: Well he COULD be married with kids. Or he could be divorced four or five times lol.
SonOfKings
I learned at a young age that gay men are basically whores that are not to be trusted. The only way to live happily in this lifestyle is to think and operate like a pimp. Understand that a whore only joins a stable to ruin it. There is no love in this game, only transactions. Recently, at a party, I ran into a man who was once my “lover.” He was nervous that I would expose our secret past; he is now a prominent and politically connected citizen in our town. I was cordial and silently noted the difference in our perspectives. He doesn’t know that I never loved him, and I can’t resent him. He was only a “regular” (date to me). He was just my nine o’clock appointment. Nothing more, nothing less. Ours is a hard and unforgiving lifestyle, but it is who we are.
McShane
LOL @Giancarlo85: Who’s FIFTY CENT?
Giancarlo85
@McShane: This illiterate idiot again.
Giancarlo85
@SonOfKings: You seem to have such a deluded view of reality. Sorry that men have screwed you over. Maybe you should have hanged out with better people. I am nothing like you or have experienced any of that.
TeeShirtGuy
@TrueWords: I LOVE IT! BOYS IN THE BAND…is no one else getting this?
Cagnazzo82
Wow, this post seems to have been quite controversial.
I can partially understand where they’re coming from though. Being gay has stunted my life to some degree. Plus there’s a part of me that wonders what I might’ve done different if I were straight. I would probably have started a family by now. I would probably also be less liberal because there would be fewer aspects of life that I would take into consideration.
Is that better, who knows. It certainly wouldn’t be me though.
Honestly the only people I envy are bi people. They have the largest field to play in. That’s what I envy the most… Not that I spend much time thinking about it. But if I could choose, that’s what I would choose.
Rafael Hernandez
Justin
Brent Page
I believe the majority simply need to psychosocially reconcile identity by male bonding. Must first identify suffiiciently with same sex cohort. Some reach an impasse and do not progress. Others are simply too cute to be straight. People respond to cute guys in such a way that the cute guys seek the same attractive attributes in others.
Glücklich
With the exception of those whose families hate them this bunch of whiners is clearly doing something wrong. I can’t speak from experience but I’d bet straight life ain’t a picnic, either. Life’s as complicated as one chooses to make it. Guys can be assholes just as women can be bitches. Sure, the variables are different but straight life looks as complicated as the gays, above, make their lives out to be.
I know my life’s been way more interesting *because* I’m gay. I doubt I’d have met and befriended the people I know were I straight. Certainly wouldn’t have be-married Mr. Glücklich and that alone makes being gay worth any hassles I’ve had. The rest is gravy.
Bottom line, quit bitching. Most of the Whispers are from guys who are miserable because they’re too lazy to change whatever’s in their lives making them unhappy. If they’ve got time to moan through their little phones and wallow on an anonymous web site, they don’t have enough to do. Try getting off the phone and busying yourselves with something that’ll make you happy. Failing that, start drinking heavily.
Glücklich
@Bauhaus:
Hey! Stop making sense.
Mmm Mmm Mmm…Plow ahead to build the life you wanted…vegetarian athlete….Southern charm…well spoken…a taste for the finer things…probably career-driven…
Where was I 22 years ago? Oh right. In California being fourteen.
Circe Tejada-flores
Bullocks
jwtraveler
I’m sure there are black people who’d like to be white, women who’d like to be men and straight women who’d like to be lesbians for some of the same reasons expressed by these gay men. This is not about internalized homophobia; it’s about the difficulties in living in a society where you are treated as an outsider and/or finding a life partner. It’s sad, but not surprising, that there are gay men who feel this way.
I’m not at all religious and have no interest in becoming Christian, but as a Jew growing up in a majority Christian country, it was interesting to visit Israel and experience life in a place where the majority were operating in the same cultural context as I was. Although I do not and did not identify as an Israeli, I did feel a certain comfort in being in a society that I felt connected to.
I believe that’s what most of these gay men are expressing a desire for. I would bet that the majority of these men are white, Christians who never had the feeling of being outsiders until they realized they were gay.
jwtraveler
@Glücklich: You’re compassion is heart-warming. Your insight into the human psyche is brilliant. You ought to be a psychotherapist.
Tell all your clients: If you’re miserable, it’s your fault.
Bottom line. YOU’RE AN ASS!
Glücklich
@jwtraveler:
You’re confusing me with Atticus Bennett, Queerty’s self-appointed shrink.
I usually tell *my* patients if they’re looking for sympathy they can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.
Bottom line: I’ll tell them it’s your fault.
Glücklich
@onthemark:
Love me some Baby Jane. Any psycho-biddy fan is OK in my book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jv0uUV2YaI
Glücklich
@Raymond Perez:
I like you already.
Billysees
@Eric Erickson:
” It’s a desire to fit in. None of them want to sleep with women. ”
I think that just about says it all.
@Chris Etter:
” But we must play the hand we are dealt and be happy with who we are. Sometimes that is harder said than done. ”
How true.
bottom250
The statements make me cry. Sweethearts I can’t imagine not wanting to be gay. I love being the effeminate queen I am and celebrating life.
Joseph S Spinelli
My husband and I just celebrated 19 years together. Yes it’s hard but worth every second.
bottom250
@Joseph S Spinelli: Hugs Joseph, I am so happy for you sweetheart and your husband.
onthemark
@SonOfKings: Your stories are sad but are getting tiresome. If you want to say your life sucks but it has nothing to do with your being gay, fine. If you want to say your life sucks and it has to do with your attitude about being gay – hey, you’re on the right track.
But if your life sucks and you think it’s because you’re gay and everyone in gay life is the way you describe, just stop writing your self-hating homophobic bullsh*t.
Glücklich
@bottom250:
And again with the crying. Have you read the Bobbi Christina story yet? My Kimberly-Clark stock needs a boost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QpldDrUu98
onthemark
@jwtraveler: “You ought to be a psychotherapist. Tell all your clients: If you’re miserable, it’s your fault.”
I get your annoyance, but what do you think therapists DO, exactly? They can’t “correct” anyone who happens to be annoying the patient. They can only help the patient change his/her own attitude and responses.
Probably it’s a rare patient who needs to be told, in so many words, “If you’re miserable, it’s your fault.” But there are probably a few. If our frequent poster here SonOfKings ever gets to a therapist, he may hear that.
You remind me of the story about the patient who said, “You’d think for $200 an hour she could go to my parents’ house and fix THEM and leave me alone!”
hyhybt
To the one who wishes he was straight or bi because he finds women so sexy: you got your wish!
(Why does Queerty’s login page seem to think that only humans can do basic addition?)
GayEGO
Hmmmmmm……..I have spent so many years enjoying being a gay man i.e. 53 years with my partner, married 11 years, retired and living the American dream I cannot imagine life as a straight guy. Probably because I have no sexual attraction to women. I guess some gays have not quite figured themselves out yet.
silveroracle
I really wish that people hadn’t brought WHISPER out.
It’s a horrible app.
I signed up for it and we seeing a day I came off it as it was full of people wanting to commit suicide.
It doesn’t even seem to be moderated properly.
silveroracle
silveroracle silveroracle
I really wish that people hadn’t brought WHISPER out.
It’s a horrible app.
I signed up for it and after using it for a day, I came off it as it was full of people wanting to commit suicide.
It doesn’t even seem to be moderated properly.
silveroracle
I really wish that people hadn’t brought WHISPER out.
It’s a horrible app.
I signed up for it and after using it for a day, I came off it as it was full of people wanting to commit suicide.
It doesn’t even seem to be moderated properly.
AtticusBennett
everyone who wishes they were straight needs to do what they’ve avoided doing thus far – reading. yeah. READING.
you need to start reading gay literature. gay fiction and gay historical biographies and stories. you are robbing yourselves of the information that will empower you to LOVE being a gay man.
i suggest the works of Ethan Mordden, Armistead Maupin, E Lynn Harris, Andrew Holleran, Edmund White. read about Harvey Milk. read about Alan Turing. read about Quentin Crisp. KEEP READING.
you will find that you belong to a culture of heroes and vanguards whom you should be proud to call Brother.
as is, the guys who need this information and literature most are always the ones who refuse to explore it. and where does that leave them? On Whisper, wishing they were straight.
silveroracle
Sorry forks.
The site doesn’t allow you to edit if you make a mistake.
blackberry finn
The grass is always greener….
Clark35
@TeeShirtGuy: Because it’s a silly and very dated movie; but sadly the LGBT community has not moved on from silly stereotypical queens like the ones in that very old film. Whisper is full of closeted LGBT people, and LGBT people who are young who just came out, so it’s no wonder why they post stuff like the above images show.
Stache99
I wish these guys were actual men and not a bunch of little whinny pansies. Please just go back in the closets because life is just so hard. I mean it’s easier to be gay then anytime in history yet people survived and lived their lives even back then. Wow.
AtticusBennett
@Clark35: it’s nowhere near as dated as it SHOULD be, all these decades later.
but look at you, Clark35 – it’s 2015, and you’re still a pathetic excuse for a man, still living in fear of those “stereotypical queens” that your father always made fun of. we get it – he hated queens, he hated you, and so you hate queens because you blame them for the fact that you’ve never been anything but a disappointment to your dad. move on.
Glücklich
@Clark35:
Duck and cover! It’s sacrilege up in this bitch to diss that movie! Though if I were trapped with that toxic bunch I’d be the first to off myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNFcUIQGby4
Mark Stanley Bridges-Music
I think most gay people can relate to these from some point in their lives. I am amazed that I can look back on those days and remember how I felt then. I’m now married to the most amazing man. I can’t imagine my life without him. I love who I am and having felt that way gives me a sense of empathy for these guys. My heart breaks for them.
scotshot
Therapy
Clark35
@AtticusBennett: You don’t even know me or my parents. FYI my dad does not hate gay men or queens, and I’ve been out to him and the rest of my family, friends, and society for decades even though I am personally not queenie. But I would not be surprised if you’re a total queen…given how you flip out at random strangers online who write something you personally do not agree with. Go take a opiate based suppository, you need it.
Clark35
@Captain Obvious: Well said.
hyhybt
It makes sense that this would be a young person thing. They have the same down sides as any other gay person, and with any losses from coming out still relatively fresh, but haven’t yet picked up the positives that come with time. Seen from the beginning, straight is an easier path, and it makes sense to wish you could take it.
Clark35
@AtticusBennett: You don’t even know me or my parents. FYI my dad does not hate gay men or queens, and I’ve been out to him and the rest of my family, friends, and society for decades even though I am personally not queenie, or a disappointment to my family and friends. But I would not be surprised if you’re a total queen, and a disappointment to your family…given how you project your own issues onto others, and flip out at random strangers online who write something you personally do not agree with. Go take an opiate based suppository, you need it.
Clark35
@AtticusBennett: I happen to be bisexual; but I’m sure your parents are so proud that you do nothing but troll LGBT sites, and post to a silly blog online all day long.
@hyhybt: Yup. I don’t use apps like whisper/grindr, etc. but a lot of younger bi and gay men I know do.
tllthn89
I love men and I actually do love being gay. But I would rather be straight too. For societal reasons. Being gay has been a hard road for me. Very hard.
GAY THEATRE Prague
Mnam, mnam…
SonOfKings
@onthemark: My life is fabulous. I’m having a good time. I’m just realistic and observant enough to know how this game is played. There are are no innocents. “Ass is a commodity just like everything else. Some are selling it. I’m telling it.
SonOfKings
@Giancarlo85: You misunderstand me fool. I’ve never been screwed over by any man. I knew what I was getting into when I slept with those whores. They are only doing their job by keeping our business on the low low. And I will do the same. I just think it is false advertising to describe our lifestyle as honest, when deception and intrigue abound. Gay men are great big liars too.
sbarden1
Boys, I thank GOD every day that I’m gay and that I’m OUT! I lived for 51 years as a straight man and a Mormon. You have NO idea what agony I suffered. I used to quietly cry myself to sleep at night as I lay next to my sweet wife, because I wanted… no, I ACHED for a man to love me and hold me.
I’m normal. I have a sweet and wonderful husband, who I cherish. We have wonderful gay friends both single and couples who we love. We have children and grandchildren who we love and who love us. We have purpose, we have love, and we have joy!
Don’t think that just because you’re having boy problems that it would be any better if you were straight and were dating girls. You need to work to make yourself the kind of men who you would want to date and marry. You need to learn to be selfless, to sacrifice for your sig. other. Sacrifice is not giving up something great for something with no worth… sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. Be kind, be compassionate, and stop trying to force a relationship. When the right guy comes along, it will happen without you even realizing it. When you find a boyfriend, THAT’S when you have to work and sacrifice and COMMUNICATE to make it a GREAT relationship.
Being born homosexual is a BLESSING! Embrace it, love it, be grateful for it! Those of you who would so quickly toss it away to be like heteronormative society don’t know what a great gift you have been given. I hope you learn to appreciate it.
Doughosier
We all come up the hard way. That’s life. Nobody escapes problems, gay or straight.
Clark35
@SonOfKings: So stop getting with guys who are sluts or whores/prostitutes. Not every guy that’s bisexual or gay is like that. But at least you realize you should not be in a relationship with anyone.
Hussain-TheCanadian
I can honestly understand why some gay/Bi Men wish they were straight, the illusion they buy into that being straight is easy, and don’t realize that it isn’t. Most of my friends and family and straight, and they complain of the drama their GF or wives put them through.
I do think much of it is internalized homophobia; I too hated myself in the beginning and wanted to change my sexuality because I was told I could. Well, quickly I realized that’s not possible at all, and decided to marry a woman and have sex with men on the side. I remember being in a Café in Dubai and saw a man taking out his lover on a date, and it was pretty obvious they are together. The older of the two answered his phone and started talking to his wife telling her he was out with the guys and told her to kiss the kids.
The younger guy was so hurt and angry, the one with the wife apologized and said if he was able to live openly as a gay man, he would, but can’t. I think it was here that I decided not to do this; I was basically seeing my future and refused to be in such a horrible position. It was the best decision I took.
My cousin is gay and he’s married to woman – He calls himself straight until he starts hitting on some of my gay friends – Now mind you Arab culture is a little bit weird in the sense that the man who tops is not “really gay”, he’s straight and one that bottoms is gay, many gay Arabs either live the double life, or claim that they really aren’t gay, they top!!
Giancarlo85
@SonOfKings: Um, then stop sleeping with whores? And you’re the only fool here… a dumb fool for describing being gay as a “lifestyle”. You just showed your true colors.
“I just think it is false advertising to describe our lifestyle as honest, when deception and intrigue abound.”
Bullshit! You want deception? Take a look in the mirror. Now I know you’re a LIAR.
“Gay men are great big liars too.”
Not anymore than straight people.
Could you be any more full of shit?
Giancarlo85
@SonOfKings: Good for you that your life sucks, that you fuck whores and can’t get to know better people. But please don’t sit here for an instance and try to tell us what reality is. We don’t want to fucking hear about your histrionics and melodrama. And the fact that you described being gay as a lifestyle shows you’re nothing more than a damn liar and not a very good one at it.
Don’t even try to lecture us what being gay is like. Keep your dumb fuckery and “oh poor me stories” to yourself please.
Mr-DJ
I didn’t read all of the comments before mine (too many), so it may have been stated already…. But I would say most of these people just have issues – PERIOD. If they somehow switched over, they would still have those issues. People need to accept responsibility for their issues and not fool themselves by playing the “blame game”. The Grass usually IS NOT ACTUALLY GREENER on the other side.
captainburrito
For the guy that wants a bigger dating pool… the wish should be being bisexual. Then you get everyone!
jwtraveler
@Glücklich: Yup. I pegged you right: Miserable excuse for a human being.
Glücklich
@jwtraveler:
If you say so. I know better.
A review of the majority of the other comments echo my sentiments. I omitted the candy coating. Sorry you can’t handle some home truths, doll. Have a nice evening.
rickhfx
Self loathing gays are just so sad, get therapy fast.
Billysees
@Doughosier:
” We all come up the hard way. That’s life. Nobody escapes problems, gay or straight. ”
How true.
@blackberry finn:
” The grass is always greener…. ”
Yep.
cwilson284
@TrueWords: As true today as when Mart Crowley penned that line in 1968.
Clark35
@AtticusBennett: Harvey Milk was a chickenhawk, and fucked young teenage boys which is disgusting and wrong. He was a real conformist dogshit politician who if he had not been murdered would have died from AIDS.
Giancarlo85
@Clark35: You are a fuckign republican dipshit that kisses up to the right wing whenever you can and subscribe to historical revisionism. You’re a narcissist and the true dogshit on here. FUCK YOU!
Clark35
@Giancarlo85: No I’m not a Republican LMAO. Nothing I wrote is revisionist history. Read Schiltz’s bio about Harvey Milk, or see the documentary the life and times of Harvey Milk and you will see what I wrote is true. But you were not even alive when Milk was around.
Clark35
@Giancarlo85: No I’m not a Republican LMAO. Nothing I wrote is revisionist history. Read Schiltz’s bio about Harvey Milk, or see the documentary the life and times of Harvey Milk and you will see what I wrote is true that Milk was a chickenhawk and predator to teenage boys. But you were not even alive when Milk was around.