As you may recall from yesterday, Ted Haggard‘s announced he’ll be moving to Iowa or Missouri, rather than back to Colorado Springs: the quiet town he fled after admitting to inappropriate contact with hooker Mike Jones, including buying meth. But what of his sexual counseling? What’s the final verdict on Teddy Boy’s libidinal rebirth? Completely successful, of course!
The Denver Post reports:
The Rev. Ted Haggard emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is “completely heterosexual” and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.
One of the men on that board, Reverend Tim Ralph, also told the Post that he and his colleagues recommended Haggard and wife Gayle move on to greener pastures, but insists he believes Haggard’s sexual claims:
[Haggard] is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing. If we’re going to be proved wrong, somebody else is going to come forward, and that usually happens really quickly. We’re into this thing over 90 days, and it hasn’t happened.
Sure, no one’s come forward to admit having sex with the Evangelical preacher man, but didn’t he say something to Mike Jones about wanting to have an orgy with six young men? No matter, we’re sure he’s totally learned his lesson: repression’s the best medicine.
How about we take this to the next level?
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Jonathon
A “completely heterosexual” man does not seek out male prostitutes and pay them to screw him in the ass.
A “completely heterosexual” man might be curious about gay sex, but isn’t likely to keep going back AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN, paying for it each time.
Haggard is a professional snake-oil salesman who is desperately seeking a way to return to his rich lifestyle and to where he has power and influence within the fundamentalist community.
Sexual orientation is not a switch one turns on or off. At best, Haggard is a self-hating gay (or bisexual) man who is destroying his own life and that of his family by continuing to live a lie. He will then go on to harm many more innocent young gay people by perpetuating the myth that “God” can “cure” homosexuality.
David M
In regards to Tim Ralph’s comment: Just because no one else comes forward about having sex with Haggard doesn’t mean he’s completely heterosexual.
He suggests that in order to be proved wrong, someone else has to come forward now. The premise is weak, and the conclusion doesn’t follow the premise. Quelle surprise…
By the way, isn’t anyone else very alarmed that Haggard wants to pursue a Psyc degree?!
Mike
Those are some Dick Sucking Lips if Ive ever seen them
jack e jett
i bet he fucks himself with huge dildos at least 3 times a day.
wonder if he is still on the payroll?????
cuz they don’t give poppers and lube away.
jack jett
poodle
why doesn’t he have meth mouth or teeth? i mean look at those sparklers.
two words.
minga beautiful!
expedito
I was on one the largest online “dating” websites (you know the one) – that has men, women, couples, TVs, you name it. It’s surprising how many guys who identified themselves as “straight” winked or sent messages. They wanted to put somethin in their mouths and suck . . . but they didn’t think it made them a ****sucker. Oh, well . . . whatever. What do I care if you live in Fantasyland!
A couple of them were pretty good at it, but most of them just fumbled about. Better to stick to people who know what they want and aren’t afraid to admit it to themselves – unless a man of the cloth is paying you.
Billy
Did I ever tell you that I am going to sprout wings and fly to Neptune next week?
Gavin
What this “article” means to say is: “We don’t want Haggard to be gay (its bad for business) , so we’re going out of our way not to define him as such. Even though his recent behavior defininetly points otherwise” Way to be repressive douchebags, gentlemen.
Lamb Cannon
it’s not like we want him on our team in any case…. castrate the pulpit monkey just to make sure we’re really sure
dizzy spins
Aw, c’mon folks–these people believe that Jesus wants them to bilk fat housewives out of their welfare checks. Is it so hard to think they’d believe Ted “Hagrid” Haggard has changed his pinga-sucking ways?
kristen
HAGGARD IS A FAGGARD…
VOTE FOR NEIL
I’m a sloppy pig bottom..but I’d top Ted in a minute!
I can almost feel his hungry, pink whole work me like a butter churn.
After I finish in his ass, I’d felch it out and give him a sloppy kiss.
VOTE FOR NEIL FOR GAY MAN OF THE YEAR!
I’m versatile!
http://www.genremagazine.com/Genremen/vote.cfm?genreman_id=86
mikhail
why are christians so obsessed with sex, gender and genitals? what happened to feed the hungry, help the poor, comfot the lonely and caring for the sick? If only they will obsess themselves with the millions of children dying from hunger and millions of homeless world wide and the shameless disparity in wealth between the have and have nots …then i will start believing them. Instead they ddrive to their air conditioned megachurches in their gas guzzling SUV’s sing a few hymns, jump up and down in fake ecstasy and then listen to their ‘pastor’s spew hate and vitriol at others who don’t believe like they do and try to intrude into their neighbours lives. Evangenitals are a sham, and make believe theatrics ready to steal your hard earned money. If God is omnipotent why would he need your $$$ as tithe. Everything that GOd gives man is free, and not dependent on tithing or the opinions of flawed men.
That ted haggard bozo should just fess up that he is born gay or at least bi( i suspect he is a messed up gay man who is repressed by his idiotic religious ideologies) and divorce his wife and they both should work for the rest of their life ministering to gay and lesbian people to make up for the harm and injury they have perpetrated on minority gays and lesbians all this while .
They have contributed to the demonizing and marginalization of gays and lesbians and transgender people encouraging the general public to discriminate against this minority groups and they should be ashame of themselves.
Mikhail
juliachrista
Actually, the Evangenitals are a band. 🙂 http://www.evangenitals.com