Happy Endings: Basketball Player Slam Dunks Bonnie Tyler Song

• The MSM has finally discovered the Brokeback Mountain parodies that have been filling our inboxes faster than shirtless pics of Clay Aiken. We’re officially over both of them. [NY Times]

• While we’re generally pretty unforgiving when celebs record themselves in their most private moments, we’re going to take it easy on Texas A&M’s Chris Walker. Not because he’s half-naked and hot but because he’s lip synching “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” [Towleroad]

• Soccer star Ashley Cole is suing two UK newspapers for libel for printing gay orgy stories in which his name was never even mentioned. Makes perfect sense to us. [Press Gazette]

• Following the news that gay marriage is good for your health, we now get word that marriage bans are bad for us. [UPI]

• In talking about his being a gay role model, Westlife’s Mark Freehily says “I don’t know that I necessarily like it too much because, knowing me, I would probably say the wrong thing.” We say don’t stop talking about your sexuality, Mark. It’s the only thing that gets the band press these days. [Sydney Morning Herald]