Happy Endings: Desperate Defensiveness

• The creepy basement guy from Desperate Housewives was canned for being a creepy flasher guy on set. He insists he’s no longer on the show due to the buy out of his contract not because of improper conduct. Hmmm. You lose a lot of credibility once you start whipping your dick out to your co-coworkers.

• Oddly worded pro-gay billboards that read, “I sit next to you. And…I am a lesbian. We are your neighbors” are popping up all over Georgia. The others must say things like “take me to your leader” and “we come in peace.”

• Canadians elected openly gay Andre Boisclair to be leader of the Parti Quebecois and he’s causing quite a ruckus. Turns out Boisclair used to blow coke in his spare time. We don’t see what the big deal is. Our leader was both a druggie and a lush.

• Poland is quickly becoming as gay friendly as Eminem at a pride rally.

• You’ve heard the old saying that everything seems to cause cancer. Everything now includes giving blow jobs.