Happy Endings: Ellen and Portia Buy A House

• A Socialite’s Life has pictures of the kind of love nest a syndicated daytime talk show and a role on Arrested Development get you in LA.

• Judy Shepard’s speech in Montana went off without a hitch yesterday. No protests, no hating, no explosives. And, get this, it was actually inspirational.

• RuPaul is writing a new movie “packed with lots of gratuitous sex and violence, and of course oodles of glamour.” Throw in a trannie or two and we’re there.

• Walgreens is sponsoring the upcoming Gay Games and that isn’t sitting well with a certain group of Chicago area Christians. They’re thinking of boycotting its stores. We didn’t think Christian conservatives shopped anywhere other than Wal-Mart.

• The recent Asian quake has left thousands of Pakistani kids orphaned. Which means only one thing. Angelina Jolie has ordered her jet to turn around mid-air, and will be parachuting in to scoop up children momentarily.