Happy Endings: Martha Turns Out To Be A Wimp

• That pesky Vatican won’t be allowing gays into the Priesthood and might even band them entirely. We have a feeling massive layoffs will be in order.

•Apparently the past few years have seen a rapid increase in the “feminization of Japanese men.” They’re much more into beauty products and aren’t afraid to dance with other guys. Over here we call that progress.

•The right to marry is important, but everyone knows the right to divorce (and get half) is more important. Gays in Washington State may be getting just that.

•Click here to download the 30-second TV spot asking veto-happy Arnie to reconsider his decision that would prevent leather daddies from marrying in California.

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•Whoever said prison toughens you up was dead wrong. Darling, Martha, couldn’t you come up with a snappier catchphrase than “you just don’t fit in?” How about “you’re my bitch now?”