Happy Endings: The Day The Picture Said It All

• We saw a line of people waiting for the iPhone. They were all playing with their soon-to-be old phones. We think they’re insane, as is the rest of the country.

• Talk about a tabloid wet dream: Francesca Hilton, daugher of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Paris Hilton‘s late grandfather, Conrad, called Zsa Zsa’s current (ninth) husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a faggot. von Anhalt’s claim to fame, besides being married to Gabor, would be his claim that he fathered Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. The icing – it went down outside a court house. And TMZ got it on video. Tune in for a special peek into Paris’ future. (Cue splooge.)

• Mitt Romney‘s a cat person:

Romney placed his family dog, an Irish setter named Seamus, into a kennel leashed to the top of his station wagon for a 12-hour family trip from Boston to Ontario in 1983. Despite being shielded by a wind screen the former Massachusetts governor erected, Seamus expressed his discomfort with a diarrhea attack.

Romney claims the dog loved riding on the roof in a swirl of liquified shit: “He scrambled up there every time we went on trips.” Scrambled? More like slid.

• London Pride ain’t afraid of no car bombs. The parade marches on tomorrow. With a mock Eurovision to protest anti-gay nations.

• Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams invited openly gay Bishop Gene Robinson to next summer’s Lambeth Conference. Expect a nasty letter from ultra-conservative Nigerian Archbishop Peter Akinola.

• The European Union’s Council of Europe Human Rights ain’t down with Poland‘s homophobic tendencies. Says Commissioner Thomas Hammarberg, “”I think we should remember that one of the groups that were targeted by the Nazis were homosexuals, and we should really avoid to fall into that trap now.”

• NYC gay folk were all about the good times at this week’s Good Times. And Twerking got the shots.

• A little girl’s death prompted Egypt to ban female circumcision. Clits everywhere rejoice.

• Will Kris van Assche‘s Dior Homme collection live up to Hedi Slimane‘s legacy? Inquiring minds want to know.