Happy Endings: The Day We Heard It All

• Wackjob conservatives ruminate on AIDS. Example:

It is known that a laboratory of CIA developed a HIV-virus in order to wipe out Persian population. Due to the usual knowledge in geography, the officers of CIA landed in Central Africa and injected the virus in Bono-apes, gorillas and chimpanzees, well knowing that some gays there would have sex with them.

Actually, maybe it’s not that wacky: our last lover turned out to be a real monkey.

• Is Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell melting?

• Ari Gold has a new single: a cover of Human League’s “human. And Arjan Writes has got the goods.

• Rudy Giuliani’s daughter, Caroline, wants Barack Obama, not daddy, to be president.

• Anne Hathaway claims 95% of her friends are gay men. Our editor and Ms. H’s long-time friend says it’s more like 98.9%.

• Gay bikers invited to join massive motor rally in South Dakota.

• Not-so-happy anniversary, Hiroshima!

• Gay activists take on anti-gay Nigeria’s Commonwealth game bid.

• Why is Jim Cramer crazy?