QUEERTY QUERY

Has Justice Antonin Scalia Become A Caricature Of Himself?

Screen shot 2015-06-26 at 10.01.33 AMAntonin Scalia is not happy about marriage equality. In his dissent, the 79-year-old justice channeled his inner six-year-old with an epic tantrum of bizarre metaphors, pissy language, and name-calling.

Oh, the drama! First, he called the ruling a “social upheaval” and the Supreme Court, in general, a “threat to American democracy.” Then he accused his colleagues of being “pretentious” and “egotistic” before comparing their thoughts to the “mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie.” After that he turned his anger onto gay people wishing to get married. Boy, are we glad we are not in that workplace with Antonin barreling down the hallways, barking at everyone!

“The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy, and spirituality,'” Scalia quoted from the majority opinion before adding, “Really? Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality [whatever that means] were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie.”

Hmmm. If we were to ask our nearest hippie, we’re pretty sure same-sex marriage would have been the law of the land starting sometime in the sixties.

What do you think of Scalia’s scathing dissent? Has the grumpy old man become a caricature? Sound off in the comments below.